A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I hit my girlfriend and she is 5 months pregnant i feel bad and everthing but she is ignoring me and i dont get. I said sorry she was winding me up and i hit her i really need to see what can i do please help i feel awful. PLZ HELP?! she is alot younger than me and her parents hate me i need to see her so bad i miss her ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): You don't deserve her, but apologise again and she may take you back.
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 [MOD NOTE: Post Edited for content]But hey, call me an oddball, I don't think men (term used quite loosely) should be hitting pregnant GIRLS.As far as helping you? Best advice ever right here- keep your hands to yourself when you feel the need to hit a pregnant kid that you fucked illegally.If you cause her to misscarry, your ass will be finished I can guarantee you that.Do what you cowards do best. Run and hide and crawl back to the shithole where you came from.Sincerely,IHateWomanBeaters
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female
reader, lotsofgiggles123 +, writes (23 May 2008):
 well i think it just plain wrong to hit a woman on top of that pregnat on top of that and that younger i think you try to comeback to her and do something to make her know that your sorry but you are wrong to hit someone at all espacially a woman talk it over with her or just let her go but be there for da kid when he/she comes seriously dude go to anger management or go together and laura is right no one should juj you i am sorry :( and if she does forgive you and you have a boy make sure this mistake does not happen.......
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): thanks she took me btw and im in anger mangement :D
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 If you were my bf i would have left your sorry ass. If you can treat her right then why should she want to bring this baby up near you. You are an ass!
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 I was brought up to believe that violence against a female is the most hideous cowardly thing a man can do.
I wonder how you were brought up.
You are a bully, and you even attempted to justify why you hit her. There is not justification in hitting a pregnant woman.
If you seek professional help you may at your young age be able to learn to deal with your violent impulses. And in time your girlfriend may allow you to see your child. But don't give us this rubbish about you won't hit her again, nobody believes it. You will, and thankfully she and her parents are aware of this, so you won't get another opportunity.
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female
reader, im here to listern +, writes (13 April 2008):
Best thing you can do mate is leave her alone and go seek help, sorry just wont cut it, if you have hit her and dont see the wrong in it or why her parents hate you then you deffo have somthing wrong and need to seek help. Please leave this girl alone you are no good for her or anyone till you have atleast got some help
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): "it wasn't that hard"
Oh that's ok then, you scumbag. What kind of pathetic excuse for a man hits his pregnant, teenage girlfriend? Maybe she'll never speak to you again (nothing less than you deserve), personally I think she has every right not to. Especially if she thinks you're capable of hurting the child. Sorrys won't cut it.
I repeat, scumbag.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Well, the advice so far has been pretty damning, you hit a pregnant female child who is your girlfriend.
Saying your sorry really just ain't enough.
No wonder her parents hate you, you got their underage daughter pregnant and then hit her?
Accept that right now the only smart thing for her to do is to stay the hell away from you and get help to deal with your problems. Face that you got issues, serious issues and right now nobody is going to take your side.
You are a classic abuser, you are even putting the blame for you hitting her on her by saying she was winding you up. Classic abuser double talk. There are no excuses. Until you can accept that this was 100% your own fault and seek help to control your anger you will always be an abuser risking at any moment to loose your temper.
In some way you are to be pitied but don't except much of it. Do the smart thing, leave her alone to deal with the pregnancy and get yourself some real help, don't be a though guy who thinks he can handle this, you did wrong and will do so again. Try to be at least a little bit better then most abusers by seeking help now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): You WHAT?
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (12 April 2008):
 Im glad she saw the light and I hope she never lets you back into her life YOU NASTY ROTTEN BULLY. Just reading your letter and you whinging "She wound me up" makes me want to PUKE!!!!
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 April 2008):
 If you have apologized to her,there is nothing more you can do
but wait till she forgive you and accept you back.
Give her some time to come around.
Everyone make mistakes and no one is perfect.
No one should judge you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): How can i let her go when its my baby to. im not going to do it again i know i wont i just want her bk plz help some1?
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (12 April 2008):
 You hit a 17 year old pregnant girl? I'm assuming you got her pregnant in the first place and so now have totally nailed her coffin shut nice and tight, she pretty much has no choice but to rely on you. And then you go and hit her. Nice one pal, real class act there. There are NO excuses to hit your girlfriend, none whatsoever. And then you go and defend your actions with some lame 'she wound me up'. Whats the matter with you pal? You a man or some retard?? Once you break that barrier, the very first time you do it, the floodgates are opened. The next time, it will be that much easier to hit her again, and it'll get easier the more you do it and eventually you wont even feel bad about it. I see it all the time here (I live in a really crappy part of the UK where this happens a lot)I'm bored of telling you how bad you suck so I'll just end it with the advice. Leave her, let her go back to her parents and forget about her. You were the one person she was able to trust everything on and you really showed your true side there didn't you? You must be so proud of yourself:-) beating a pregnant GIRL, you're a real credit to manhood. NOT. Don't forget you owe her maintenance
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (11 April 2008):
 You will not like my answer. There was no reason to hit her. Being wound up is a ridiculous excuse that makes me extremely angry. You DO NOT hit someone you "love." And when she is pregnant on top of it all?? I dont want to hear your sob stories about how you are sooo sooorry. You are pathetic. Can you put yourself in her situation? Pregnant, and being hit by the man who is supposed to love and protect her? She probably feels very alone now. Im more than proud of her for leaving and ignoring you. Far too many girls end up in situations with men like you who treat them like dirt then apologize because they were just mad. There is no excuse for your actions. If you love her like you say, let her go. And PS take some anger management classes. You need help... Im not sympathizing with you at all, you just need help as you are messed up.
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female
reader, MissKin +, writes (11 April 2008):
 The reason they can't see that you 'wont do it again' is because every man or woman that abuses their partner does so, cries, apologies and then says 'i'll never do it again' at one point and they will. How do they know you won't? How do you really know you won't? if you didn't mean to do it the first time.. it could seriously happen again.
She's probably terrified of you now. hitting her is something she probably never expected you to do and her emotions are on a roller-coaster as it is due to her hormones from the pregnancy.
If you really want to get your point across i suggest writing a letter actually. and make it a really bloody good letter. But to be honest im not sure you deserve to be around her in the state she's in.
I really do suggest backing off. dealing with your actions and just hoping that maybe one day she'll understand. but... i'm contradicting myself. You won't do it again... hmm. not sure wat to say. You're going to have to hold yourself responsible and just take whatever outcome comes along i'm afraid.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 April 2008):
 If you truly want to get back in good standing, sign up right away for an anger management course. This will do two things for you; one, it will demonstrate that you realize you did something wrong and are taking immediate steps to correct it. Second, it will help you understand your temper and give you positive ways of dealing with this impulse to lash out.
She is in a vulnerable state, and naturally needs support, not violence, no matter what she may have said to you.
Go do it right away and good luck. Don't blame her for your own actions.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): It wasnt that hard and ive phoned up lots but they hang up everytime or she just crys down the phone i feel so bard i know i was wrong. But i wont do it again why cant see just forgive me
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): srry but i dont get you...i wouldnt hit any girl let alone someone who im supposed to love....let alone one that is going to be the mother of my child!!!you feel aweful as well you should!in all honesty she did the right thing i cant tell you of how many cases iv heard were the girl just lets this sort of thing carry on for years...srry but i say good for her!now with you might i suggest some anger management classes maybe a self help seminar?at any rate good luck to you and to her
-michael
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female
reader, TT +, writes (11 April 2008):
 You really don't have any ground to stand on! In what ways have you tried to persuade her that you're sorry?....or are you just waiting around and sulking?........Maybe hitting her was her ticket out of the relationship, perhaps what she needed.
Maybe you should let her go.
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female
reader, TT +, writes (11 April 2008):
You really don't have any ground to stand on! In what ways have you tried to persuade her that you're sorry?....or are you just waiting around and sulking?........Maybe hitting her was her ticket out of the relationship, perhaps what she needed.
Maybe you should let her go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): She is 17 and im 21 i wont do it again and i feel bad about it but she made me so angry she hasnt spoke to me in 2 weeks i went to the scan but she never showed up plz help
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (11 April 2008):
Hm. to be honest, you deserve it. I don't care if she hit you first - she's pregnant. She's pregnant, she's younger than you, it's your baby - you're not supposed to hit her. I don't care if she was winding you up either. Okay so obviously you know you've done something seriously wrong. But the thing is she has to think about her wellbeing, as well as the well being of her baby. are you going to hit her again? What if she really winds you up? will you hit her then? What if she hits you back? Could you seriously harm her or her baby? She has to think about this as a soon-to-be mother. Not to mention she probably won't see it the way you do - that you deserve to be forgiven after hitting her.
Apologise, a lot. but don't even bother going near her if you're not going to be able to control your physical temper in future. She's a lot younger than you and probably told her parents - maybe they're making her ignore you?
You 'don't get it' is what's annoying me. You hit her. what's there to get?
How much younger is a 'lot' younger than you anyway? im just curious and nosey i suppose. sorry.
To be honest if she's ignoring you there's not much you can do besides grovel, try to get her to trust you again and what not. Or you could try backing off and giving her some room and then trying again later on. Maybe you need to show her how much you love her. But how you do this is tricky if she's ignoring you.
Wait for her to give you time to apologise. Don't push too hard cos this could make things worse.
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female
reader, TT +, writes (11 April 2008):
You had no excuse to hit a woman, never mind a younger, PREGNANT one. No matter what the circumstance.
You dig yourself out of this one pal.
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