A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I have a thing with this guy, and my bestfriend over heard him telling his friend that he doesn't want anyone to know about us. I believe my bestfriend and he's the type of guy to say something like that too, what does all that mean and what should I do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 December 2013):
 It "means" that this guy who has caught your eye wants to keep his options open and available... such that he can pursue you (hoepfully, to put out for him)... whilest HE stays "free" to do as he pleases....
It doesn't bode well for a great future together.... BUT, that's your choice....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 December 2013):
 First off all DO YOU know for a fact that this is how the guy thinks?
Are you just having sex? If he is then yea, he might want to hide you like a dirty little secret. Maybe he doesn't see you as GF potential OR he already HAS a GF.
It's NOT normal to hide who you are with.
Why settle for a "thing" with a guy?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 December 2013):
 Do you want to be secret? If so, carry on having a "thing with this guy".
If not, call him on it.
I would advise you to end it, generally there is not a healthy or happy reason for being secretive about relationships.\
Why is this a dilemma for you?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 December 2013):
It could mean a number of things. When you say "thing" I assume you are talking about sex. If it's just sex them it's kind of personal and not telling anyone else is normal. It also could be that he doesn't want to appear in a relationship so he can still look for other girls.
Maybe he's not attracted to you? Could be other things that are hard to predict. What's not hard to know, is that he's obviously not interested in having more than a "thing" with you.
If you are hoping for more you're barking up the wrong tree.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (12 December 2013):
 The guy has got something to hide...and it's you. Does that make you feel good? Does that make you feel happy?
Is it normal for a guy to want to keep a girlfriend a secret...ummm nope!
Unless he gives you a seriously good and truthful explaination, I think you'd do better to dump him and find someone who is actually proud and happy to date you.
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