A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I have a friend, let's call her D. She's somewhat of a new friend, and we actually stopped talking for a couple of months because I lent her money and asked for it back the day she said she'd pay me and she told me to go to hell.Last week, she reached out and we sorted things out. My boyfriend (okay, now ex) met her once. She's a ton of fun to party with, but I have honestly never truly trusted her completely. Ever since she reached out, my boyfriend has kept insisting we all hang out together. Yesterday, the three of us went out clubbing. The night was so much fun, until we all got a tad bit too drunk and I saw both of them dancing together.This would be somewhat okay and just drunk fun, but I noticed his hand on her waist looked a bit too touchy.From then on, I can barely remember anything other than getting really angry at him for that and leaving the club. I was drunk and from then on most of the night is a complete blur, but I do remember thinking it was dangerous to go home alone in the state I was, so I returned to the club.I can't remember what I saw, but I do remember turning back again and crying my heart out from *something I saw*. They made no effort to call me or to see if I was okay. I sat for several hours at the park a few blocks from the club and called them. They answered and asked me where I was, I told them I was at the park but they never came looking for me or anything. Eventually, I took a taxi I saw right by the club and went to my mom's house.I was in total distress and just started rambling about what had happened to the taxi driver. He had been there all night, and actually told me he saw two people who fit their description leaving together earlier.I must have gotten to my mom's place at about 5 am. In the morning, my mom and I went to his place because I'd left my laptop there. We didn't even try talking about the situation, I just grabbed my computer, told him some pretty nasty things, and left. Mind you, my friend wasn't there at all. He was alone so I don't think she spent the night.Later in the day, I texted my friend "What the f*ck?" and she replied completely nonchalantly saying I had really gotten crazy the night before. She told me everything I did, that I freaked out out of nowhere and started accusing them of flirting, that I called her a sl*t, that I hit and pushed her. She wasn't pissed at me at all, she just described everything I did and laughed about the entire situation and told me not to worry about it because it can happen to anyone.I felt horrible after this. I don't remember anything she said I did. All I remember is them dancing and me leaving the club, going back in and seeing them together, but I don't know if they were dancing, talking, or anything, I just remember seeing them and starting to cry my eyes out. I'm starting to think I may have made it all up in my head, and if I did do everything she described, I must be completely nuts but at the same time I've never been the type of drunk to get aggressive at all, I'm usually super chill and fun.I'm completely freaking out now. For the entire day, I've felt like the worst human being in the world for accusing them both. I've tried calling him but he doesn't pick up at all. I've also apologized but he hasn't read my message. At the time, though, I have a feeling in my gut that keeps telling me things really did happen, that I'm not crazy.Ahhh, I don't really know what kind of advice I'm looking for here. I guess a part of me just wants to write what I'm feeling because it's been driving me crazy and making me feel extremely anxious... If anyone has thoughts, advice (other than stop drinking so much to get blacked out ... I'm definitely going to stop for a while lol), it's totally welcome because I have no idea what to do about myself right now...
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (9 March 2022):
 She's not your friend. A friend would not be getting touchy feely with your boyfriend on the dancefloor (it takes two - she could have moved away and stopped him IF she had wanted to). A friend would have been worried about you being alone completely drunk and done her best to find you. A friend would not borrow money then tell you to go to hell when you asked for it back.
Leave the two of them in your past where they belong. You deserve better people in your life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2022): Oh, and nope. It was just us three there, so no way to ask anyone. I do think I got a bit crazy, which is embarrassing but I try to forgive myself because he definitely did break a ton of boundaries that night...
Another detail is that my BF claims he did go after me when I left, that he searched for me for a while and when he couldn't find me, he went back and saw my friend was standing at the taxi stand and went together.
My friend claims this is BS. That he stayed and drank a bit more and then she told my BF she was going home and he insisted on get in a taxi with her because "he wanted to go look for me at my apartment", which makes no sense to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2022): Oh and also (OP here again)
i just read my entire post and I sound insane lol. I was going through a lot but in a better state of mind now. Still extremely sad, angry and confused, but much better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2022): OP here
I actually posted this last Friday and it only just got approved, but a lot happened in the meantime.
My BF eventually replied, it was a super sweet message telling me he forgave. This was hours after I posted this and I just had a gut feeling then that something wasn't right.
I began asking him questions about how he and my friend got home. I told them both I saw them getting in a taxi together (little white lie, but I really wanted to find out if they stories matched).
My friend told me they did get on a taxi because she was going home and then my BF had said he would go look for me in my apartment. She said she got off, didn't speak to him at all, and he continued his way on the taxi.
His version was a little different. He said the taxi got pissed at them and left him at her apartment and he immediately (keyword here: immediately) ordered an uber to get home. He showed me a screenshot of his ride home, which was indeed from her address at around 3 am.
I then told my friend I knew they had been dropped off in her apartment and he had left on Uber. She was suddenly all like "ohhhhh right, I do remember that" and she told me he asked her if he could stay over because I wasn't answering my phone and he had nowhere else to go. She says she said no and went inside her house....
So I have no idea what is going on. Yesterday, I noticed she had blocked me from seeing her Instagram stories. I asked her why and she just told me "ohhhh, I had no idea how that happened hahaha how did you find out? you're so toxic omg hey do you want to go to a party next Saturday with me?"
She then unblocked me from seeing her Instagram stories. I don't know if she deleted some, but I suspect she was with him because I did manage to see one has his favorite beer is on the picture. This would be me jumping to conclusions, obviously, but the fact that she actually bothered to block me from seeing her stories is definitely strange.
So yep. Ex.
I'm still not 100% sure what happened, I guess I'll never know, but the simple fact he was touchy with my friend and that they both left me in that state alone is honestly reason enough to drop them both...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 March 2022):
 If you were black-out drunk, you probably don't remember it all. Which is probably correct.
But it also seems a little skeevy for your BF to be handsy with a friend of yours on the dance floor.
This friend could be gaslighting the fire out of you. She could be honest and truthful.
My guess is that if you can remember the "details" of his hands on her waist, you can remember if you went off or not.
As for your BF, him not picking up and ignoring you, makes me think you DID create some sort of drama and accusations OR he is a major dick. Or both.
Definitely stop drinking. And stop being friends with women you don't trust.
Accept that you got drunk and had a bad night at the club. That your BF is now your ex and this friend is NOT a good friend regardless.
It sucks to know you acted embarrassingly, but I think we have all been there done that while drunk (or sober).
Also, did you meet any other friends there? If so ask them what went down as your memory is fuzzy. If you went total drama queen they will tell you.
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