A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing someone for about a couple of months. But he dumped me by text, coz he "wanted to be single". I said I deserve better and that's your loss. Months later he apologized and said he made a mistake etc etc. He asked to meet me for coffee. But he never did. And then he had the nerve to call me a nutjob! I feel like my faith in men Is non existent right now. How can someone be such a jerk? Then I look oN Facebook s d he already has a new gifriend. Meanwhile I'm hurting. Why do the jerks always win?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou so true
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 If you contact him even to give him a piece of your mind, he'll turn the tables on you and make YOU look needy and clingy. That's how jerks operate. Just flush him out of your life. He's worth just that
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 "I'd really like togive this spineless person a piece of my mind. I'd like to contact him and tell him I've met someone who doesn't treat me like shit. And that he missed out on something really good. "
waste of good breath! he's a jerk and a loser and there are TONS of decent men out there... WHY does this ONE loser have so much power for you?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (9 October 2011):
This jerk doesn't deserve even one second of your time or your thoughts. Who cares is he wins or not? Remember, sometimes the immediate picture is all hunky-dory and rosy, but karma catches up in the long run. You reap what you sow, and you reap it in THIS lifetime. There's no escaping the law of nature.
Most of us have seen jerks like this in our lives, but the best thing to do is, ignore him and move on. Pity the girl who's with him now, because she doesnt know what a trap she's stepped into! At least she got you off the hook though, thank God you're away from him. The sooner the better!
Jerks never win. We just think they do because they just seem so insolent about everything. That's why they're jerks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your advice. I won't do it as everything I say, falls on deaf ears anyway. If I contact him he just takes that as I'm still in love with him. I don't want to get dragged into his BS again.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (9 October 2011):
They don't win because he'll continue to be a jerk and wind up alone and in the long run you'll find someone great that will give you what you do deserve. Trust me, you're probably not the only girl he's been a complete a-hole to.
I say, you got nothing to lose--if you want to give him a piece of your mind then go ahead. He'll probably call you a nutjob again, but who really cares what he thinks at this point?
I don't think you should tell him that you he missed out on something good and that you're with someone else if you're not (because it comes across like you're trying to make him jealous when he probably doesn't care that much). But I think it's always nice to passive aggressively give him a piece of your mind. Be sweet but tell him what a piece of crap he is. I honestly don't think some people realize how almost borderline sociopathic they are when they totally damage someone's emotions and self esteem by their own selfish motives.
I've completely told a guy off that hurt me like that...and you know what? I didn't give a crap, still don't give a crap, and he still tries to get back with me even though he has absolutely no chance. Now I lead him on and do the exact same stuff he did to me...Karma's a bitch, oh well.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 October 2011):
 You know what? Everything you said is true. Of course you'd like to give him a piece of your mind, and of course you know he's missed out on a good thing.
But why would you, a real woman, waste a single breath, keystroke, syllable, or second of your time on that pathetic worm? He's not worth hearing another word or communication from you. Don't even deign to give him any more of your precious time even considering pining for him or being upset and emotional towards him?
Know what he's worth now? He's worth your utter disdain and complete indifference to who and what he is and what he's doing now. Give him no more thought or action than you would a piece of lint on the bottom of your shoe. He's not *worth* your telling him off. He's not worth your effort expended in his direction. He's not worth one more second.
I say brush him off like gum on your shoe, and walk forward and leave him to wallow in his pathetic misery. And feel a tiny bit of pity for the woman he claims to be with. She's in for a rude awakening because he can't change who he is.
Give the guy who doesn't treat you bad your love and attention. Don't even waste the brain cells considering the existence of the other guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'd really like togive this spineless person a piece of my mind. I'd like to contact him and tell him I've met someone who doesn't treat me like shit. And that he missed out on something really good.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 October 2011):
He may be a jerk, but he's also a moron and *very* unhappy. Don't let this idiot ruin your faith in men, because guess what? He's not a real man. Real men don't hide behind text to break up with girls. Real men don't flake out. Real men don't then turn it around on the woman by calling her a "nutjob".
If you want to get disillusioned by whiny ass spineless little boys, then have fun!
But don't classify this sniveling little amoeba as a "man".
That makes it easier to blow off that little stain and *find* a good...real....man.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 Jerks win because they never really care for anything in the first place. In the end the rest of the world wins though. Just delete him off fb and his number and forget about him. He is a jerk but that doesn't mean the next guy you meet will be and that is what you should focus on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): Not all men are like that. I understand what you're saying, but it gets me really mad when a girl dates a jerk of a guy, and then assumes ALL men are like that. He isn't the one. You will find a guy that loves you more than anything. And jerks don't always win. He's winning because you're letting him. Don't let him win. He's nothing. Move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): So sorry you ran into this. I think the mistake was to let him back into your life after he had already proven that he wasn't trustworthy. But that was not the end of the world, you gave him a second chance and he blew it big time. Next time make someone work to be in a relationship with you, test them to make sure they're worthy of you. Love and all that comes with a relationship is conditional upon treating you with respect, otherwise he isn't worthy of you.
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A
female
reader, Koala Bear  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 We all get hurt. I'm sorry for your frustrations. This guy was a complete waste of time. Try thinking of the phrase "don't waste the pretty". To me that means, ok so you wasted your time talking to this jerk, but don't let the tears and anxiety you feel about the situation fade your beauty. He's not worth another stressful moment. Think about all the things you want and envision in your future husband, from the way that he expresses his love for you to the way that he'll try to make you smile. This "jerk" most likely falls way short of that list, right? The healing process is hard. But try not to let this guy(aka:waste of time) get you down.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (9 October 2011):
 People who break the rules always win, because the rules of social interactions in large groups rarely have any real penalties for breaking them.
Now, the jerks may always win, but who they beat changes. You need to accept that you got into a contest with a jerk and got beat because you were playing with the wrong guy (I'm all done with that metaphor now). In general, I'm a firm believer that chicks dig jerks, but where you can win is when you find a guy with the *capacity* to be a jerk, but the self-restraint not to be one unless necessary. Find a decent guy, and spend enough time with him to see if he has it in him to be a jerk when he needs to, rather than going fo rguys who show it right away.
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