A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a lunatic. I accused my husband of having affairs for all 23 years of my marriage. Then he filed for a divorce. Now I cannot stop asking him to take me back. I send rude sms everyday and I am either very nice or i swear rant and rave at him like a mad women. What should I do. because I know for sure he does not want me back but i am too proud to accept that.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): I just let my pride get in my way of happiness the other day,what a mistake wish i never did.suck it up dont call or text for a few days and see where that gets you it will drive you crazy i know but it could all be worth it,i havent called my ex in a week and she is now calling me but i wont pick up dont give in right away also.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): List all the reasons down on paper why you accused him of cheating then list all the reasons down why you are still contacting him. Then attach the paper on a pillow and give it a good hitting getting angry, crying and your own back. After make a cup of tea sit down and throw the paper away if there is anything left and then enjoy the drink. Releasing this stress may make you cry and then the healing process can begin. If you manage to get to this stage you should now make yourself a promise to get on with your own life. Start with a new hair style, one that you have never had before, a change of fashion and join a new club meeting people you have never met before. This will give you a new phrase of life and keep you busy and hopefully the ex will be put in the back of your mind. Failure to act on some of this advice may lead you to continuing to be a pain in the but to him and the action he take against you could lead you into deep trouble, i.e the law.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): Hello,
Its unhealthy to constantly accuse another of infidelity. You sound insecure and very jealous. You need to rectify why you have these feelings.
Its not fair you behave nice one moment, and disrepectful the next. Would you appreciate someone changing moods so dramatically, probably not.
If your unable to control these mood swings see your doctor incase there's an underlining cause.
For now, give him space and don't be tempted to text or call him incase he doesn't reply, and you feel the urge to vent on him.
Work on your issues.
Good luck
;D
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A
male
reader, RyanS  +, writes (21 May 2010):
 I feel you want him back only to massage your ego, not because you love him. You don't deserve him back. It will be better if you stop troubling/abusing him over sms.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 May 2010):
 Why did you act like a lunatic? Why are you acting like a bipolar person? Why the nice and the rude texts? Why is your mood so unstable? Why are you so insecure and lacking trust?
Until you figure that out, you won't be able to move forward.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (21 May 2010):
 You cant decide if you want to drive him away or chain him down. 23 years is a long time to put up with that. Right now he is just so relieved to come home at night and not hear jealous accusations. He probably thinks you are mentally unstable (crazy). Then he checks his messages, and you are not giving him a reason to want to go back.
Don't get me wrong, he used to really love you. Deep down he may still, but he can't live with all that you have heaped on him. You have made the mistake of confusing Love with ownership, possession, or control, whatever you want to call it. You think that the tighter you hold him the more you love him. That just isn't true. Jealousy is the opposite of trust. Trust goes with love, Jealousy goes with love. In other words you have spent 23 years showing hate to a person who stuck with you only out of love.
What should you do? Tell him you are sorry and that you always knew that he never cheated. Then promise to never accuse him again. But, you have to mean it with all your heart. If you can't keep that promise, or if you still think he was cheating, then you have no right to try to keep him. If he really was cheating, then why do you want him back? Only to prove that you still have power over him? That would be wrong.
A final note, I've known many men to let their pride get in the way of their happiness. Think about what you really want.
FA
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