He wants total control of the relationship

I got involved with my best friend of 5 yrs. last dec. he was sweet, kind, gentle, and in need of attention all the time. We would go everywhere together when he was here on the weekends. He was also married but had been apart from her for 2 yrs. The agreement was that if he filed for divorce, I would date him. He did in Feburary. He wanted me to move in with him which is 2 hrs. away and i have 2 kids. I told him i needed a true commitment first. We got engaged. I told him I wanted to make sure I was financially stable before moving so that i wouldn't be a burden on him, I didn't move in June as promised. We started having spats after that and then he began to be argumentative, hateful, and somewhat controlling. He began leaving phone numbers around so i could see them and get upset. One time when we broke up, I moved on to someone else and he decided he would come over and caught them there. it was a big confrontation, but then he decided that we would just get married that next week, cause he didn't want to lose me. by the time he came back that weekend, he'd changed his mind and asked for the ring back, cause he couldn't trust me. i went psycho calling him, begging him. He told me many hurtful things, told me all the female phone numbers he was accumulating now, and even let the ex wife laugh at me to get me to stop calling him. he told me to leave him alone and he was filing a restraining order on me. I did. By that weekend he called after the club wanting to come over, begging to be in my life, saying he just wanted to see how much did i want to be with him, and i had hurt him badly. by that next morning, he changed again and didn't like me. Now, everytime I don't bother him for a few days, he'll call and ask me "what do you have to offer me, will you ever cheat on me?" He wants total control of the relationship, and states that just cause he doesn't feel like talking sometimes to me doesn't mean I have to get involved with someone else. He's not rude anymore, but still calls on the weekends when he's down here to sleep over, but I don't see him in the day time, and he avoids me until he's ready to talk to me. I'm confused and aggravated, because I know this is a front and he does things to upset me. But, if he doesn't want me why is he doing this?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, divorce, engaged, ex-wife

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A female reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (3 December 2006):

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