A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,(long story) im 23 and my guy is 19 yrs older. He uses the pull-out method. A few times he's came inside me. He askes about when im gonna have his baby. He says i hope you're ready to have a baby. But sometimes he says you better not get pregnant. And randomly ask what i would do if he got me pregnant and jokingly says i'll kick his butt. Here's thing, he also brings up marriage and calls me his wife and talks of a future together, starting a family. My question is: does he really want kids, i actually like the idea of someday starting a family with him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2015): he really want to have kids and family with you, he dont want you to get pregnant because it will make you and him not having sex something like not very serious words, he really want a family, i mean he's not young anymore you know, time to start a family
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 September 2015):
 So while he may use the so-called pull-out method, he sucks at it. Basically he decides if he wants to release inside you or not inside you.
The real question is, which birth control method are YOU using? You are a grown woman who is allowed to make her own choices for her own body. If you are okay with playing birth control Russian Roulette (is that an idiom you are familiar with? If not I'll explain.) then by all means carry on allowing him to do whatever it is he feels like.
He sounds very flaky to me. Does he drink a lot? You wrote: "He askes about when im gonna have his baby. He says i hope you're ready to have a baby.
"But sometimes he says you better not get pregnant. And randomly ask what i would do if he got me pregnant and jokingly says i'll kick his butt."
You're not actually using a birth control method worth anything. And you're doing that with a man who see-saws between "when are you going to have a baby" to "you'd better not have a baby." What an odd and creepy thing to do.
Red flags all over the place.
Does he really want kids, you want to know? Well, he's certainly not trying to avoid having them, but then he's also doing nothing that would indicate he's building a future with you, other than randomly try to get you pregnant.
I would run a mile from this guy, and I would have the first time he tried to use the pull-out method and certainly the first time he ejaculated inside me.
You're a grown woman. What are you thinking about the future? What do you want? Why are you not taking charge of your body and making decisions founded in common sense? What else is going on here?
I do hope you are okay, and not being groomed to submit to an abusive relationship.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 September 2015):
 Sounds to me like he's all talk and has you snowed.
GET ON hormonal BC right away. Be the one in control here. DO not let this man "sweet talk" you and manipulate you into anything.
The pull out method is the best route to parenthood...
TALK is cheap. calling you his wife is BS
IF he likes he he should put a ring on it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2015): Honeypie is right that you should take some form of contraception unless you want an immediate pregnancy.Your partner is having a laugh with his pull out method that he controls as and when he wants to.He has every intention to breed you and then declare it is an accident and leave you to deal with it while he springs other sudden surprises on you,knowing he will be a permanent feature in his life on account of the baby.Technically you are putting the cart before the horse.He intends to know if youll keep the baby or not and you must wonder every three weeks if you are pregnant or not.He likes you n a state of uncertainty.You obviously lik surprises sprung on you with the prospect of achieving the never never.Consider this: you may never get married, he may never show up for the birth, he may never consider himself the father of the child,you may never talk in any way other than jokes about serious things, he may never provide, he may never consider you as anything more than baby mother.You have no commitment from this guy so take control.But i rather suspect he wants and xpecs the relationship you are in on account of his manly prowess.Your whole future depends on the speed he does or doesnt pull out during sex so please dont think he will give you a ring on your finger because you are a sex buddy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 September 2015):
 I hope you are smart enough to not rely on HIM making sure you don't get pregnant. TAKE control and BE on birth-control till you are READY for a child. You are 23, so old enough to know that the pull out method is only effective if the GUY who is doing it, knows what he is doing. So if he at times DO NOT pull out... He seems rather careless.
He is talking a lot of "sweet nothings" Has he proposed? No? Then why is he calling you wife? Because he KNOWS talking marriage and calling you wife makes you think he is 100% serious. Sometimes it's just sweet talk. Specially when he hasn't back it up with a proposal and a ring.
If you want a family with him, I'd suggest you hold off on the baby making till you two are married.
I think he might LIKE the idea of being married and having kids, but... he isn't ready for it yet, I think so far.. it's all talk. THUS you need to use some birth-control or plan ahead for being a single mother, in case he "pulls" out of the relationship too if you get pregnant.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (23 September 2015):
 First of all, get yourself onto some contraception. Take responsibility for your body, and your future. Do not let him dictate.
Time for him to step up to the place and marry you.
Otherwise, its a case of "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?"
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