A
female
age
30-35,
*talianjjbaby
writes:I recently just broke up with my boyfriend. We were dating for a year and a half and were very serious we even moved to another state together FL. We had a lot of trust issues in our relationship. In the beginning of our relationship we were madly in love than my ex started stalking me calling,texting me all the time. My boyfriend starting wondering if I was leading him on because of all the contacting he was doing with me. I tried to tell him I wasnt but I know in the back of his head he thought I still was, so I changed my number. A month later my ex got my new number and text me on my boyfriend birthday calling me baby. My boyfriend then thought his thoughts were real and ended it a week later we talked it out and started a fresh start. A few months later we got into another huge fight because of a issue with drugs we said some hurtful things and ended it and didnt talk for a month. He than called again and we talked and worked things out we than talked about moving to FL for a job that was offered to him, so we moved there. After we arrived there a few months later we lost our spark I started thinking he wasnt interested in me and was looking for someone new. So I tried sneaking through his phone and email all the time he soon found out and was very mad with me after that he wasnt the same at all than 5 weeks later we ended our relationship. We left on good terms and I moved back home. When I arrived home I went one more time into his email and he found out now he said he doesnt want to talk to me or want anything to do with me ever again because all I do is lie and he cant trust me not even as a friend. I realize why I go through his things and am willing to really change this time but I think its too late and I think he was my soul mate. What do I do?
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female
reader, Y_Java  +, writes (29 October 2009):
Well like you said there were trust issues at the start of your relationship so it didnt get off with the best of starts. There seem to be a lot of insecurities on both sides and I think it played a massive part to your distrust for one another. You said you realise why you go through these things and are willing to change. Changing yourself for the sake of someone else will only cause/add more issues later on. Plus it sounds like he needs to review himself because all of this started off with his mistrust for you and your ex. If your adamant to make an attempt to sort things out with him then why dont you try writing him a letter telling him of how you felt during your relationship with him, why you did the things you did and how you feel at present. It may be a lil old fashioned to write a letter but its highly effective. If he doesnt respond then its best to leave him for now and use this time apart to sort out how you feel about yourself and what it is you want to do and how you want to go about doing it. Time heals all wounds.
A
male
reader, back2gether +, writes (28 October 2009):
It sounds like there are trust issues on both sides. If you really want to get back together you'll have to work on that. Sometimes it is hard to contact, but it probably isn't too late. There is a really good youtube video about getting back with your ex on this site:
http://makeup.cityblogger.info/
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 October 2009):
You are not actually the problem here. He is. You haven't done anything wrong! This is a guy who hasn't trusted you, who hasn't listened to you, who has accused you of leading other guys on, who has dumped you twice and who has the nerve to lie to your face about being friends, then send an email telling a different story. What more could you have done? You tried to explain things to him, you even moved away with him and it wasn't good enough for him. You're far better without him! Never ever change for a man like this. He's not worth your time. He really wasn't a soul mate at all. Believe me when I say that. You deseve so much better than this guy. So don't try to contact him, don't let him back into your life. Spend time getting over your hurt, and when you're ready, you will meet a guy who will accept you as you are,because that's what soul mates do. Good luck
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