A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, i'm 15 and basically i've been with my 16 year old boyfriend for 3 and a half months now, and we started having sex 2 months into our relationship. since then we've had it 37 times. I don't know if its right but I feel completely taken for granted. whenever we have the house to ourselves, he tries to turn me on. if I say no he gets upset and I don't want to hurt his feelings, but seriously I don't feel right. we've nearly split up twice because I didn't feel the same, nd I don't know what to do? the even worse thing is that he won't go and get a cd scheme card, so he 'pulls out' which I don't believe is 100% reliable, making me worry and not enjoy sex. before I went out with him I stuck to my word that I was going to stay a virgin until marriage, or sixteen at least. well, obviously what's been done can't be changed but I really wish I had waited. oh and also, he tries to do things that he can tell his mates to impress them, I.e burping when kissing, dickslaps, and trying to force me to do anal. its not on. he took away my virginity but i'm not going to give in and let him do anal. like they say, it's like a balloon, one prick and it's gone..
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 You already know in your heart what to do.
This boy is using you as his personal sex vending machine and is treating you in a very disrespectful manner. He does not value your feelings, your body, or your privacy.
Just because your virginity is gone does not mean you no longer can be choosing who you have sex with and how you prefer to have sex!
Tell this nasty boy to get lost.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Take responsibility for your body. Get on protection. It's YOUR responsibility to be protected, not his. It's your body. Sure it's nice when a guy cares and takes his part in making sure you're protected, but you can't count on it, and you certainly CAN NOT have sex with him when YOU KNOW you can get pregnant. It's not about trusting him or not, you know that if you have unprotected sex you can get pregnant. Your uterus doesn't care if your boyfriend thinks with his dick or his head, if you get pregnant YOU are the one who is pregnant. Not him. You. Take responsibility.
As for your boyfriend, when he does things to try and impress his friends that says a lot about why he is with you. He does things to you to impress someone else. He turns what should be a bonding experience between two loving partners, into a game to brag about to his friends. He treats you like an object he can use for his own fun and cares nothing about you!
I can almost assure you he is telling his friends about everything he does with you. I do not believe he keeps anything private.
Give him a shocker and tell him you're pregnant. Maybe telling him you will take a pregnancy test will be enough even. He needs a shocker to get his head screwed on right. Then end it with him and show him you have self respect.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Dump this guy, he sounds like a complete d**k, he is treating you awfully.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 September 2011):
 honey he's no boyfriend... he's mistreating you
he's rude and crude and wrong.
I'm sorry. if he forces you it's rape.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Well, isn't this guy a piece of work? Sweet thing, you are with a jerk. It will be easy for you to look at all of these critical things said about your boyfriend, get defensive and stay with him because you see him for the nice guy he is.
But, he is NOT a nice guy. And whatever good qualities he may have do not make up for him disrespecting your body the way he has been. Sex is a time for the two of you to intimately connect, love each other, smile with each other, respect each other. He is treating this like a contest or a conquest - he just wants to nail you and have stories to tell his friends. Girlfriend, he is absolutely humiliating you. Imagine the disrespectful things he's saying about you - I mean you can only assume from what he DOES to you -burping while kissing, dick slapping, trying to force anal??? That's all dirty, sleazy, disrespectful business. Not to mention pulling out - you can't trust this guy. You're letting him walk all over you and put you at risk - physically and emotionally.
If that's what he thinks of you, why would you want to be with you? Anything kind he ever does to or for you is all negated when he treats you like this at his will.
You have to look out for yourself. Staying with him now will create a pattern for the rest of your life. If you prove to yourself that you can be strong and deserve much more than this now, you'll treasure that forever. You are better than this. Your boyfriend is disgusting, if you ask me. You are much better than this. 99.99% of women are better than this. (that last .01% would maybe be into it... and if they're into it, I guess that's okay.)
Good luck! Take care of yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou all so much for taking the time to read my question, it means a lot and I will definitely take your advice! xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 September 2011):
You're not only being taken for granted, but he's actually breaking the law.
Some women spends their lives being used by men. Don't become one of them.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (7 September 2011):
 Dump this fool. You are being taken for granted. Even at age 16 this is far beneath his age.
This young man sounds incredibly selfish, reckless, boorish and boring.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): Two words. Leave him. Don't allow him use you plus you are SO young, too young to be having sex anyway. Even though you've started, please reorganize yourself you can still refrain and go back to abstinence from sex. Any guy who kisses and tells is bad news your so called bf is bad new. Dump him and give yourself time to heal before going into another relationship
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Oh my, 37 times in six weeks???
There is so much wrong here I don't know quite where to begin. First, he's telling his friends about what goes on between the two of you in private? Surely you can't be comfortable with that. What you describe is wholly immature behaviour (which is what you'd expect from a sixteen year-old boy).
Second, he's showing a stunning lack of care, respect and compassion for you by insisting on the withdrawal method. No, it is not effective, and you will certainly get pregnant eventually. It is up to you to put your foot down -- no condom, no sex. Full stop. Aside from the fact that this jerk doesn't sound like someone you want to spend your life with, I'd bet a very great deal of money that the day you tell him you're pregnant will be the last time you ever hear from him.
Third, pressuring you to do things you're not comfortable with. No quality guy would do this.
You're right to feel taken for granted, because that's very much what you've described. That can't happen if you don't allow it. Clearly he's utterly selfish. So it's 100% up to you to take care of yourself. Start NOW.
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A
male
reader, FatTony89 +, writes (7 September 2011):
It's your body. Do with it you please. He does not own you. There will be more and better guys for you who will wait....
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