A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Me and this boy went out for about a month then broke up,he then turned for me for help cos he liked my friend.I got jealousy missed him and told him I love him.whilst he was making up his mind we were making out at mine.he then decided know and left it.he's been a dick to me for a while but recently he went out with the same best friend.they broke up and now I think he likes me .what should I do??I like him but he broke my heart.I also have a bf(not him)but my bf is shy.the guy was a good kisser and I fell fr him a few times but I don't want to get hurt again.is friends with benefits a good idea.I don't want to hurt my friend though????hellppll!!!!
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female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (1 December 2017):
 Woah. Cut your actions short.. you don't seem to understand that you're CHEATING ON YOUR BF and that's NOT OK. At any age.
This is the thing.. no matter how mature you think you are, you are going through massive biological changes, and your raging hormones are dictating this selfish, blind folly! This is ADULT territory- with ADULT repercussions and you're not even of age.
Trust us if you were older you would have the insight, understanding and SELF-CONTROL to stop this trainwreck. Please listen to us- your actions and decsions show you are ready to be making these adult decisions...
USE your common sense.. what most adults are blessed with. he is treatiing you like a dick because he IS a dick. HE "chose" your friend when he *fancied* a bit of her.. now whatever he says to you about STILL wanting her, he's now showing he *fancies* a bit of you! YOU TOLD HIM YOU LOVED HIM.. ON THE RARE CHANCE A TEENAGE BOY FALLS IN LOVE, HE'S GOING TO JUMP TO SHOW YOU HE LOVES YOU BACK. And guess what?? PLAYING with your emotions, and MAKING out while pretending to have *genuine* feelings for your friendis NOT SHOWING HE LOVES YOU. Otherwise he would ask you to be HIS GF EXCLUSIVELY, take you out, spend time NOT JUST making out with you.. WHAT makes you think anything he's done or said makes you think he has ANY genuine feelings for you? Your hormones is what
You are going to end up very unhappy and broken, when you should be having innocent fun, socialising, finding out what you LIKE to do, learning how to be a well rounded indvidual with VALUES and principles.. doing well at school so you dont end up pregnant in a minimum wage soul destroying job.
You don't have to listen to us of course.. but just realise you're screwing over your friend, your BF and AND yourself. This *boy* is a teenage hornball whose primary aim is to get his end away- YOU are barking up the wrong tree..
Wake up. Do you really even want your FRIEND getting back involved with this horny kid? Doesn't she deserve better?? And don't YOU? You're LETTING him screw both of you over..if you really want to act older beyond your t=years start making some disciplined, mature decisions!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (30 November 2017):
 I agree you are trying to "do" things you aren't ready or mature enough for. At your age, I GET the whole "I want to try it all! and ALL the boys/girls" - to "flit" from person to person.
However, when you DATE someone - as in being BF/GF that isn't OK. Because it HURT the other person's feeling. All you are concerned with in your post is "me, me, me"... Not a single word of how your BF might feel about this... not even a thought...
Girl code... ever heard of that? Well, if you haven't... then take notice. DATING or CHASING your friends' exes (especially your BFF's) is a NO-NO. You don't go through HER trash... OK?
And the guy was FINE with kissing and making out with you but, he still picked another girl over you. And now that he has "sampled" her, he is thinking of giving YOU another try because why not? He knows you like him and he is USING that fact.
FWB is NOT a good idea AT ANY age. Seriously. It's only in the movies that it actually seems cute or work out. Guys do FWB because it's EASIER than being a good BF, as a "friend" they get all the "intimate make out stuff" but they don't HAVE to be faithful, treat her nice, take her out or so the things that people in a relationship do. I have seen MANY grown-ups struggle with FWB and you know why? Because they don't get into FWB for the same reasons. Most girls (and women) HOPE that an FWB will lead to more. That he will REALLY like her if she does it... Boy/men do it because they can and it's easier than dating.
If you aren't KEEN on your current BF have the DECENCY of breaking up with him. It's OK to tell a guy: "I don't feel we have enough in common" or "I don't feel this is what I want". Don't string him along.
Also, consider your reputation. I know... I know, at your age that might seem like no big deal but people you age are vicious to each other.
And lastly, this guy (your BFF's ex) will not be nicer to you that he was to your BFF....
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (30 November 2017):
What about hurting your boyfriend? Say you have a ‘friends with benefits’ set-up with this lad, how do you think your boyfriend will feel? That’s your friend and boyfriend both going to be hurt just so that you can get used by some guy who has already made out with you despite wanting your friend. You stand to lose a lot, and gain absolutely nothing.
I know you’ll probably hate being told that you’re too young, but I can see from your post that you’re exploring things that you don’t fully understand. Trust me when I tell you, you’re definitely not ready for friends with benefits or a serious relationship yet. You don’t seem to see the potential consequences of your actions, but I urge you to forget this lad and decide whether you want to stay with your current boyfriend or not. Otherwise, the person that will be more hurt than anyone will be you.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (30 November 2017):
 Everything that you´re thinking of doing is a bad idea!
Do not give this guy the time of day because he is just going to end up using you and hurting you further.
A friends with benefits relationship is totally out of the question because guess who gets to benefit? That idiot boy will and then you will be left sobbing your eyes out over a boy.
It´s not worth your time and your tears.
Let this thing go and focus on other, more important things in your life because you´re far too young to be having boy trouble.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (30 November 2017):
 You're way too young for this kind of thing.
The most important thing for you right now is concentrating on school and doing well there. I can guarantee anything relating to boys now will never last, you're still kids and should be doing kids things not worrying about trying to find boyfriends at your age.
You will think this sounds silly now, but when you get older you'll realise yourself that this is way too young to be trying to fall in love. Don't ever get involved in friends with benefits situations, even adults struggle with things like that so it will definitely end in years at your age.
Stop worrying about relationships with boys that won't last, concentrate on school. That will benefit you much more right now. You can think about finding love when you're older.
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