A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a major problem...I'm pregnant. i know I'm totally under aged being on 14 but i don't know what to do about it...i don't want to get an abortion because - no offense towards anyone- i don't agree in them and think that's wrong. I think i want to keep it.i know who the dad is. he's my best friend, and it just kind of happened at the time...i felt ready for it, but now I'm stuck and don't have a clue how to tell my parents.any suggestions how i could break the news?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni haven't had the chance to reply for a while, because when i told my mum, we had an argument and we went round to the boys house and my mum said she doesn't want me living in her house any longer so i am now living with the boys family.My sister met me when i was getting off my bus the other day and said that she could hear my mum and dad talking about me, at night, and from what she could make out from what they were saying they said that they felt bad on the family and that they should give it a chance.when i told my parents that i was having a baby i also decided to break the news on telling them i am in love with this boy who is the father and i have been for a long time.my sister say she heard them say that they now understand that i may be in love with this boy as they met when they were my age.my dad then apparently said that he might come here and talk to me about it all and also ask if the boy and i would like to have our own place and have the baby together.i know this is going to be hard with us only being young but as soon as the baby is born the father would of finished school anyway and with the money we inherited from passed relatives will not have to work just yet.so now I'm just waiting for a knock at the door from my father, hopefully will all go well.
A
female
reader, needlesandpinsuh  +, writes (30 December 2010):
Good luck. I'm glad you've got the confidence and some support, now. Let us know how it goes... :)
-N&P
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (30 December 2010):
Raising a child from birth to 18 costs about $250,000 US. Thats not to include college costs.
Make darn sure you know what you are getting yourself into.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYesterday i told the farther of the baby he was going to be a 'daddy' we both talked about it and ended up in tears. but he told me; he's with me all the way no matter what. we also sat down and told his parents and they also said they were there for support.
he said he also doesn't like the thought of abortions and would rather keep the child or put him/her up for open adoption but we shall decide the big answer later on.
fridays the big day when i tell me parents; the father is coming over for support with me to help me tell them so hopefully it'll all go well.
thank you for everyones advice. please keep it coming 2 days until i break the big news.
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female
reader, jessicalynne +, writes (29 December 2010):
 Please get an abortion. Being this young, it'll ruin your life sweetheart. But later one, you'll always wonder "what if" and there are a lot of risks to consider, but not anymore than having the baby too. But seriously consider your options.
Will the father be there for you and the baby?
Money options?
Who will disown you because of it?
How will your parents react?
The cute option to break the news though, is get her a gold necklace that says grandma or something. It'll make light of the situation. It'll make her ask the question.
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female
reader, jusAnonymous +, writes (29 December 2010):
 wow wel i got pregnent at 15 and was totally scared to tel my mom i didnt tel her til i was 5 mths pregnant which was wrong cause its alot to it when u r pregnant u hav to get pills get shots and all i know it will be hard but thinks whats best for ur child. and if u dont take the pills or get ur proper shots u could end up having a prmature or even a down semdrome baby but it wil b just fine im 18 now and my son is 1 goin on 2 so just tell ur parents cause they will be more upset if they find out threw sum1 else or if they find out on there own and trust me it might be an surprise they might be happy instead of upset u neva know but dont wait u need to make that ur goal sumtime this week cause the longer u wit the harder it will be to tell them
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female
reader, becca emma louise +, writes (29 December 2010):
first of all i'd like to say congratulations. i know its not the perfect situation but a baby is a great thing and shouldnt be the cause of sadness or arguements. sooner or later your parents will find out and they would rather hear it from you. i fell pregnant at thirteen and at first i was so scared but something like a baby isnt scary its just a change in life. i think your brave for going through with this because abortion is a traumatic thing. sit down with your parents explain how you feel, tell them your ready and you'd be grateful for their support. my mum found out from a teacher at my school, trust me its best coming from you. good luck and if you ever need to talk just message me because its tough and your going to need a lot of support :) xxxxxxxx
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female
reader, jennsol +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Your not the only one who 14 and pregnant, im also 14 and i am 3 weeks pregnant, i don no how to tell my parents anout this my boyfriend (well ex boyrfiend now)said he would be there with me through the whole thing. We broke up it has been a month but during that month we were broken up he said he was ready to have sex with me i really love him so i agreed with him and we did it. But your not the only one okay if you wanna talk message me or somethin im here for you. just dont think that your alone bcuz as you can see your not.. xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): You're so young. I know that having a baby sounds really exciting and easy and even kind of romantic, but it is going to be really hard on you for the rest of your life. I'm twenty five and still consider myself to be too young to have a child. I could not imagine having an eleven year old child at this point in my life.
I got pregnant when I was fifteen and didn't tell my parents for almost four months. I wanted to keep the baby, but when I started getting sick and showing my mom found out and urged me to have an abortion. She told me that she had one with my father before my sister and I were born because they weren't ready to start a family and provide a good life for their children, but when they were ready they had children. She didn't regret doing it and I don't either.
I can honestly say that I will feel so much more fulfilled bringing a life into the world knowing that I have had a chance to live my own life first.
Please consider adoption if abortion is not an option for you. Open adoptions are great because you can still have contact with the family that adopts the baby but you will be able to go to high school, college, maybe even travel and still be able to go out on dates with boys without worrying about finding a sitter.
Planned parenthood is really a great resource for young women and they can help you find ways to tell your parents that you're pregnant.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionanswer to the questions;
it happened when we were sitting at his watching a movie and we just got kissing and it led from there... not going into any detail...
He has just turned 16.
i am seeing him tomorrow which is when i will break the news to him. I think he will be totally understanding with it all and will help me thru it; well i hope he is; might take time to sink in for him tho.
I'm going to keep it; i know if i tell my mum i don't want an abortion she will agree with me anyways, she also doesn't like them.
maybe i will just end up putting the child up for adoption; I'm not ready to be a mum and I'm sure someone else will be a fantastic mum for him/her.
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male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Well you gona have to tell them someday . So sit them down and tell them. I have a few questions. How did it happen ? How old is the dad of the baby?
You need to tell your parents as soon as possible and come up with a solution together because those are the people that know you the best.
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female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Uhm...go to Planned Parenthood. They can give you a test (Just to be super sure) and everything for free. Plus they can help you figure out how to tell your parents. Maybe you should have your best friend there. Parents may be less likely to overreact
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female
reader, Nikki_wants_to_be_a_mommy +, writes (27 December 2010):
I just wanted to let you ladies know that there are millions of women and men out there dying to be mommies and daddies. My husband and I have been married 5 years and we are young (23) and we can't have children. It's very sad when we hear friends are getting abortions because we can't imagine the joy we would have in being parents.
I hope you know that if you put your babies up for adoption, not only are you giving them a better life, but you are also making one or two people (as well as their whole families) the happiest people on Earth. If we were blessed with a child that a very mature and responsible women could not care for, we would be overjoyed.
I am very proud of all of you girls for telling your parents and making the choice to give this child a chance. You are very brave. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): I've had a few pregnancy scares myself in the past few months with my boyfriend. And now thankgod my mother has put me on birth control. I'm 17. Being pregnant at that age may be difficult but if I was in that situation I would also keep the baby. If your parents know you do have sex then they may be a little bit more calm and especially if youre seeing this boy. Although you're only 14 nothing lasts forever. Either way I'm sure you're parents will be shocked and it will be very hard for them to understand how their little girl is pregnant. Just be straight up and honest with them and try to comfort them. If they get mad which I'm sure they will just give them time to calm down and to come to you to talk about the situation.
I hope that somewhat helped. Good luck with everything!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Your parents are bound to notice eventually with the size of your stomach. I am glad that you aren't getting an abortion though. I think that you would be best if you just be honest about it.
It would be worse if your parents found out the hard way. Trust me, I know. It is better than having to do something that you don't want to do such as getting abortion. They may support you in raising the child as he or she has as much right to live as we do. If you do tell your parents that you are pregnant, but not sure what to do, you could put the baby up for adoption. It is better than an abortion.
Hope this helped. Hope your folks understand.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): I have a daughter not much older than you. I'm going to tell you what I would want her to do. I would want her to tell her parents she needs to talk to them and just say it. They will probably react with shock at first and will have many questions. Answer as truthfully as you possibly can. I hope they will be supportive of you and help you make the right decisions for you and your baby. Also be sure to tell them why you don't want to have an abortion if you feel strongly about it. I'd be willing to bet that's an opinion you learned from your family in the first place. Just be honest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Calmly think this through. Do you want an adoption? Or do you want to keep it? Then tell someone close to you whose not your parents just to help you calm down and such. Also if you need to tell the father, Now is the right time. Then (with either the father or the friend you told) calmly tell your parents. I don't know what kind o people your parents are, so I dint know their reaction, but if you need a place to stay and you don't have any relatives to help you or the fathers parents won't take you in, look up unwed mother homes or shelters in your area. I doubt your parent would kick you out though. Your only 14. Anyone with a heart wouldn't kick you out.
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female
reader, Not cool +, writes (27 December 2010):
Have you ever seen the movie Juno tell them like she tells her parents bring a girl bff and sit them on the couch and tell them and if you want to ask for them to show mercy you will be fine I ame 14 to went through the same thing that's how I told them it worked out nicely
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): I know how it feels to not know how to tell your parents. I got pregnant at 12, not by my choice but whatever.
Well I didn't tell my parents for a while, bad idea by the way.
My mom and I were at the house and I said that I really needed to tell her something, she asked what I had to tell her and I came right out and told her that I was pregnant. She was a little mad and then we talked about it.
Then when my dad got home I had to tell him. That was hard, but since I told my mom first it was a little easier to tell my dad.
So you can tell your parents together or separate or together, depends on what you want.
And once you tell them then you can decide if you're going to keep it or what.
Hope this helped a little.
Good Luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): You should just go up to your parents and tell them. Just say, "I need to talk to you, it is important. I just want to let you know I am sorry ahead of time. I am pregnant. I didn't mean for this to happen." And say you are sorry once more. They will be mad but they love you and will help you out as much as they can. I never been it that situation but you need to tell them. I know you are probably afraid but just remember they will always love you no matter what.
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female
reader, needlesandpinsuh +, writes (27 December 2010):
Just break it. If you are mature and responsible enough to have and raise a child, you are mature and responsible enough to be able to come out and reveal that fact to your parents.
Think hard about keeping it. Consider all your options and resources.
Thinking you are ready emotionally is not the same as truly being ready for all the emotional, social, physical, financial, etc. etc. (etc. etc!!) changes and stresses and personal sacrifices that come with the decision to become a young mother, especially when technically single. You will largely have to rely on yourself if your parents don't accept your choice and your best friend does not wish to support his baby as he should (you are bearing the baby, but his opinion counts as well in this). Even if they are fine to go along with it, do you want your decision to so significantly affect others as well, for better or worse, as it will if they help you?
It's a BIG decision. Do not make it so lightly. Try to be pessimistic, please. Babies are cute, and raising children can be fulfilling, but at your place in life will not equal contentedness and stability At All.
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female
reader, sailorsoldier +, writes (27 December 2010):
 I just turned 18 a few days ago, and i'm already 3 weeks pregnant. My parents found out when they found a pregnancy test in my bathroom. Not the best way for them to find out. Try to just get your mom alone for a few minutes and tell her. Theres no easy way to tell them. Truthfully my parents freaked. Actually my mom kicked me out of the house. I'm going to go live with my brother now. My dad was more understanding then she was though. He said hes behind me all the way. Hopefully your parents will be more understanding.
I can promise you theres at least one person that will be there for you.It just takes some time to find out who they are.
If you ever need to talk I'm always there for you. Just message me or something.
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