A
female
age
26-29,
*he unknown
writes:On Friday I had my first ever one night stabd! But I really havebt taken it well I didn't know the guy I had met him that night And had spent most of the night with him we had got to talking and he took me back to his. Obviously everything happened when were drunk fell asleep and then he woke me up and we did it in the morning too! I messaged him two days after asking if I had lift my ID at his and all he replied ws sorry no! There has been nothing else since a text to be like I hope you had a good night would have been nice ! Does this mean that I wasn't very good or he find me really unattractive. He has my number why couldny he just contact me ? Why are boys like this?
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drunk, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, the unknown +, writes (25 February 2014):
the unknown is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you i have come to turns with it now and im not that bothered that he hadnt asked as it was partly my fault
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (25 February 2014):
 I say this to many people on here who are exploring their sexuality at your age, and the question "Why are boys like this?" is actually not the most important question to you.
The most important question is "What are you like sexually?".
You had a one night stand which it sounds like has taught you that you're not a "one night stand" sort of person. Some people prefer it that way - no relationship, just hook up for the night with a fun person, staying the night is optional, and then go on with their respective lives.
Believe it or not, not all guys are like that either. It's true that more guys are comfortable with it than girls, but there are many more who don't prefer ONS's to relationship sex.
I agree with Cerberus here - if it was a fun night for both of you, then there's nothing wrong in it. Don't feel bad about it. I would hope that you had sexual pleasure as well from this ONS, which tends to make it a lot better because a lot of time the women who aren't as happy about ONS is because of an imbalance of what they got out of it. To say it plainly, ONS sucks when it's only the guy who gets sexual release as tends to happen more than it should.
So, with your new found knowledge of yourself, don't be hard on yourself! You had fun which was the goal of things, and now you know that you prefer sex to be part of an ongoing contact with a guy. No shame, no guilt, no worries!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2014): The same reason you are like this.
OP you didn't message him either about how the night was or anything like that, just asked about your ID. So you're doing the exact same as him. So if you want to know why he's "being like this" look in the mirror because you are too.
If I hope you had a good night would be nice, then why don't you send it? I guess you're not "nice" either.
It was a one night, one morning stand, don't make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. If you want to know anything about that night just ask him, if you want to find out whether he enjoyed or you were good, ask him. But don't complain about boys being any way when you're acting the exact same way.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2014):
 I hope you found your ID (you did lose it right it wasn’t just a trick to try to get contact with him was it?)
His lack of contact does not mean you are not good in bed. It does not mean you are not attractive to him. It means you had a ONE NIGHT STAND and that’s all there is to it.
That’s what a ONS is… ONE NIGHT…. Usually with a stranger who remains a stranger.
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A
female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86 +, writes (25 February 2014):
One night stands don't nornally result in more. Don't take notice of soaps or romance films where they end up in a relationship.
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A
male
reader, crushed_by_love +, writes (25 February 2014):
If you wanted this to be anything more than a ONS, maybe you should have taken the bull by the horns and contacted him the next day.By leaving it 2 days and then only to check on something you'd left behind, you effectively confirmed it with him that it was just a one-off.
Consider it a lesson learned and avoid one night stands unless you can handle the coldness that follows. I just hope you weren't too drunk to forget to use protection.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (25 February 2014):
 I agree with all the other aunts have said so learn your lesson.
As Cindy said, you chose to cut out the dating 'getting to know you' phase.
You wonder why boys behave like this? because if every woman said no, they would have to change...but women don't say No! and then beat themselves up the morning after.
ONS are ok if you dont mind the emotional fall out but obvious from your post that they arn't for you.
If you really want to know if a guy really likes you, keep saying no to sex until you are both sure you want a relationship.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 February 2014):
 No, it just means it was an one night stand . It's like you are complaining because you went in a shoe store , and they did not sell any perfume there. But there wasn't supposed to be any.
" One " night, you know ?... It does not involve tender attentions or polite follow ups, they would be superfluous, since the whole point was to get physical release with an available stranger and that has already been accomplished. Of course every rule has its exceptions, so , if the sexual chemistry was exceptional, or something somehow has piqued each other's curiosity and the wish to know more about the person , occasionally an one night stand turns into something more permanent... but it's not like you can COUNT on that. If a horny drunk stranger takes you home after some perfunctory chit chat at a party or club, it does not mean that he is intrigued by you and wants to know you better, it means he wants to f..k and you're game.
So, next time you decide to skip the courtship / dating phase and follow home a drunk stranger, - just do not have expectations, what will be will be, and enjoy the moment. Or else, if this is not your kind of thing,- do not follow home drunken strangers after a few hours from meeting them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2014): He just wanted sex just like you did. You are likely to set the stage for a one night stand; if you have sex the first night you meet someone. There's a lot of risk taken going home drunk with a stranger.
You are not unattractive. Women go for one-night stands just as quickly as any guy. If it's consensual sex the first night you meet him, he didn't have time to develop any feelings. You met, had great conversation after several drinks, got horny, and did the deed. That's not your way.
So there has been a lesson learned. If you don't want a one night stand; you will avoid the possibility by not going home with a man you hardly know under the influence of alcohol. Sex doesn't mean he has feelings for you and it does not obligate him to call you.
It would have been better to have given him your number, gone out on a few dates. If the chemistry was there; then
comes sex. That's still no guarantee you'll still like him, or he'll want to you afterward.
You are safe, and hopefully used a condom. You are an adult. Now you have had an adult experience that hopefully taught you something. Don't go labeling all guys the same.
They're not. You're not a bad girl, because of what happened.
You'll be okay and you're all the wiser. You are two people who allowed alcohol and their hormones override their better judgement. Remorse comes with a hangover.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2014): Its very rarely that one night stands end up in him calling you.
Though guys say they don't judge, but they do. Most of them. Girls that sleep with them on a first night are not considered dating material.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 February 2014):
That's not the best way to find a guy interested in a relationship or your feelings for that matter.
Now if you had dated for awhile and he didn't contact you after the first time you had sex, it'd be different.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 February 2014):
 The whole point of a ONS is to have NSA (no strings attached) sex.
My advice though is to BE careful doing this, you have no idea who you are going home with.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (25 February 2014):
99.9999% of one night stands will not result in anything further. Its just a simple fact that most will not be willing to make an emotional investment into a woman who slept with them so easily.
To your last question - "Why are boys like this?" Have you ever considered that he's talking with his friends right now asking "She slept with me the first time I met her - why are girls like this??........"
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2014): It was a one night stand. It is in the name, it is for one night only. You can't expect anything more from him, even something small like a friendly text. In some ways he is doing you a favour, he's making it clear he's not interested in anything else and not leading you on.
If you can't deal with one night only and no contact after then er... don't do it. Don't think less of yourself, some people can sleep with a different person every night and not think anything of it, some can't.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are good in bed and you are attractive... But you were a one time thing for this guy. Don't think about him and move on. And definitely don't try and contact him again.
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