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Does he want me or not? I don't want to risk anything and lose him!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 March 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Im stuck and it hurts so much. Before i continue i need you to know that this guy is NOT a player of any sort. he has never used anyone, hes never had a proper girlfriend i dont think, he is a very nice guy, abit big headed but then again sometimes a little shy. But as with any guy i just cant figure out how his mind works.

The thing is ive been in love with him for so long now, he found out from a friend but but denied feeling the same even though to other people it was obvious there was something there. SO that was that. We havent had the best past people have come between us and got jealous which made it hard for us to be friends.

But since then we've got through that! The thing is ive never stopped thinking he did and other people have often said they see my point because to them its obvious, infact they have said they;re sure he does but hes scared or to shy but they;ve NEVER seen anything like it. But whats happened these past few months really has confused me.

We went out on an occasion with some friends who left early. He asked me to stay out with him which was a shock on its own, we got on great, joking around talking etc(we were not drunk btw) then we went to this club where we started messing around and i sat on his knee. The next thing i knew was that he started cuddling me and he had his head in my hair n on my shoulder, he seemed ok but not over confident. He just kept holding me tighter. Then he seemed a bit like he wanted to say something and he pushed me off him n took me outside and said im sorry for everything in the past....pause.....we had to go back in and when we did he pulled me back on his knee and just cuddled me until he grabbed my hand and said it again. He was sorry for what happened in the past n how i was a great mate to him/meant a lot to him and i hugged him n he literally clung to me. After that he still kept cuddling me and we were messing around some more and he kept wrapping his legs round mine. On the way home we were talking about the past and he said how people used to say i liked him but he always thought "well does she or dont she".

We went out again this time he was very quiet with all of us. Thats another thing he will get on fine with all my mates, talk to them, mess around with them no problem, but when it comes to me...Its just unexplainable. Anyway we were out and he didnt say much, only time we did was if we were all talking. I got a bit ill, drank to much but i knew what i was doing i just felt really sick. We were walking down the street n i linked his arm n he jst squeezed it tight(he always does when i do that but not other people) and then we went to get food where i was just leaning on him because i felt ill. After a while he kinda held my hand and then stopped and he seemed really nervous and unsure and then he held it again as i held it back. After a while he started cuddling me again from behind and held my hand again for ages. Normally i would have thought i was cuz i didnt feel to good but he NEVER does that with ANYONE. Also walking from he ran up behind me afew times n just hugged me and also whenever i moved my arm from around him when i was walking with him because he was walking with me to make sure i didnt fall at this early stage...he put my arm back. And when i got home i was alright but he didnt wanna leave me just kept hugging me and then i noticed he had his hands on my bum! When he got home he text me saying that him n the others we';d been out with love me and to stop worrying and put xXx at the end.

Everyone reckons he does as they;ve seen how he is with me apprantly hes really shy with me but other times he isnt to bad. They thing hes to scared.

Thing is i dont know what to do, hes not a big talker anyway online but when i do talk to him online its really hard to get him to talk. Im as shy as him so i cant really do much but i need to give something ago. I just wanna boost his confidence not that i have much myself. So much has happened in the past that talking about this isnt an option anymore it gets us no where. if something gonna happen its gotta be done physically. What do you think? I;d just like an outsiders opinon on whether he wants me or not please so i can get an idea. I dont wanna risk anything and losoe him, ive tried to let him go and ive got so bad over that its unreal. thankyou and very sorry for the legnth

View related questions: confidence, drunk, jealous, player, shy, text

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A male reader, anysecondnow Austria +, writes (15 March 2010):

I don't know how to break this to you... other than stating the obvious. He's just not that into you. He obviously likes having you like him, and he cares for you. But he is not boyfriend material. (Prove me wrong, but that's my take).

You sound really nice and I'm sure there is someone else for you... just gotta get out there and let him find you.

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