A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend always tells me to talk to him and be honest, but whenever I am honest with him about something he's done to upset me, he goes mental.He doesn't hit me or anything, but he just argues constantly with me when all i want to do is get it off my chest, and tell him the truth, which is what he wants.Now everytime I have a problem, I don't even dare tell him. I want to resolve our problems, but not if he makes me upset all the time. He just puts up a massive defence, blames everyone else except himself.Sometimes I get so upset that I'm physically sick, just because he makes me upset.I don't know if I can talk to him about things in our relationship.He doesn't tell me things either because he doesn't want to hurt me, but I tell him time and time again, I'd rather know!please help me Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (18 March 2010):
Do you feel that he has treated you with the respect you deserve? My guess is: no.
Then the question: do you look forward to continue to be treated this way?
My advice here would be to not talk to him and go on with your life and activities. I know this is very hard, but if you LET him treat you with disrespect, he'll just take you for granted. He'll know that you'll come crawling back anyway, no matter how poorly he treats you.
He simply needs to learn that you won't stick around if he treats you like trash.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice!
I confronted him about the issue I had, but he turned it into a big argument. I said I wasn't mad with him, just upset. He just told me to leave him alone and to p..s off. It made me so upset. He hasn't spoken to me all day & we haven't argued any longer than a day in the past.
I've done nothing wrong but he still blames me.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 March 2010):
When you have to lie to your boyfriend because of his reaction, then it's time to move on.
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A
male
reader, escribanus  +, writes (15 March 2010):
 why women have such an attraction for the wrong guys. Dear, I think you deserve more than it. Leave that MF and get someone who respects and cares about you.
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A
male
reader, anysecondnow  +, writes (15 March 2010):
He sounds pretty immature. You may have to give up on this one. I mean, if he won't open up and talk, what else can you do???
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A
male
reader, Dekten +, writes (15 March 2010):
Well, the good news is that you guys still have enough passion in the relationship to get upset with each other. I'm currently going through a phase where my 'SO' no longer gets upset. Believe me, that's NOT what you want!What you guys need to learn is how to communicate. Maybe something along the lines of relationship therapy would be a good idea?
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