A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I work for a warehouse factory that distrubutes sporting things such as football tops and trophies etc. I'm being bullied at work from my boss and the assistant of the boss and they can't seem to leave me alone for five minutes. everytime I go into work I have to empty the bins because some numpty can't be bothered to do it and it seems to be all of the time. which is annoying and unfaira co worker at the company doesn't like me and she thinks she's the queen of sheba and thinks she royalty, she spread rumours about me at work saying I was gay which I'm not and also I was reported to her for sexual harassment towards a work colleague, none of which I did and all I said was hello and how are you, the case was dropped at work as there was no proof or evidence to suggest anything, and one of my friends spoke to managent to clear up the silly childish allegation. I took time off work as my girlfriend dumped me and I suffered with depression and didn't want to face anyone at work including the queen of sheba. I have made the decision to quit my job at the company but I haven't told my family or the firm I currently work for. how do I get out of this nightmare as I don't want any involvement in the company? advice and help needed, sorry if this is long.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2017): emptying the bins is actually bullying if you think about it, one as no one wants to do it and second why can't the people in my department and others do it themselves? Ive not seen anyone empty the bins and it ends up being me everytime,
the co worker and the boss are the main problem here as I don't get on with either and she even uttered under her breath the word wanker to me, she's really ugly. I can and its already in place against her.
A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (16 March 2017):
It is a very sad fact of life that if your boss or someone above you is bullying you, it is either you or them that has to go, and it is usually you.
Are you sure that they are bullying you, though? Because asked to empty bins just sounds like a request to do a piece of work, rather than actual bullying.
It sounds more like your co-worker is the problem, rather than your boss. I would not worry about her saying you are gay, but saying you sexually harassed someone is a serious allegation. Can you raise a grievance against your co-worker? Do you have any evidence of the things she has said and done?
But overall, grievances are stressful, and your best option is to find another job and leave. Their loss.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 March 2017):
 If you have a new job lined up, GOOD that means you can hopefully get out of the ASAP.
Talk to the new place and see how SOON you can start. And then plan it out so you give (however many weeks notice you need to give).
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (15 March 2017):
 This bin emptying thing has obviously become a big deal for you for some reason, judging by how you keep going back to it. Why not just make that your first duty of the day and do it as soon as you come in, without anyone asking or telling you to do it? That way you take the wind out of their sails because the job will already be done. The tidiness of your work environment would be your reward for doing this. After all, nobody wants to work surrounded by rubbish.
Most job specifications include the words "and any other duties as may be deemed necessary" which bin emptying could come under if not specified. Are you in the habit of saying things like "it's not in my job description" if asked to do something different? If so, I can understand why this would grate with colleagues. We all have to do things not in our job descriptions. Hell, in the past I have taken a boss's car for accident repair damage estimates, checked out betting odds on a football match and other things which were not in my job description by any stretch of the imagination but do you know what? While I am doing that, I am not doing anything else and, if I am getting paid, I really don't care.
Is there one person in your boss's group of friends who is more approachable than the others? Could you have a quiet word with them and ask them why you get picked on?
If you really think things cannot be changed at work, and they are really getting you down, then you HAVE to look for another job. What do you mean you have another job "in the pipeline"? If this is the case, why not just leave this job?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2017): Dont worry, the queen of sheba is alive and well in many walks of life and usually they want to reign to the tune of great acknowledgement and recognition.However a simple compliment such as "those earrings are fabulous on you!" will normally get them talking about themselves at length.They need to feel noticed and prefer a comment about something trivial but personal.Has it crossed your mind that the queen wants you in her circle of fake admirers?Did she start the gay rumours?It is a discriminatory remark to make comments about your sexual orientation and you should forward a complaint to the human resources manager.You have a right to complain because now you are thinking of quitting!As for the bins, why not make it an advantage rather than a disadvantage!Get a pretty sparkly kind of earing and drop it in the bin and then 'find' it.Show it to every one asking if they lost it.Its a good chat up line.Another time slip $5 in the bin and ask around.You can split it between owners!And get talking to your union and paying your dues or you have no moral support or work advice when you need it.Unions are good for employees but dont advertise it to the bosses too soon or they will try to put you off.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2017): it does, and ive already spoken to them about it, it's like dealing with beavis and butthead or forrest gump, It didn't get anywhere and nothing was done in order to ease the situation.
Ive already have a job lined up in the pipeline, with the job that I do at the moment in my job description, it doesn't mention anything about emptying the bins, and everytime I go to work. guess what? bins are never emptied because staff don't have the mental capacity to do it or they can't be bothered to do it and there is amount of crap. in some respects yes but they are the rooting cause of it, it's not a problem annoymous male and understand where you're coming from, that's why I asked for advice, as I'm having a hard time at the moment.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (14 March 2017):
 If you feel this is damaging your health (sounds likely)you shouldn't have to put up with it..why not get a sick note from your doctor? Explain how you feel, what's been happening, say you're anxious ams depressed and he can authorise ESA benefit for a few months, while you look for another job and get yourself better.This would be a truly horrible time for anyone.I would definitely write everything down, times, details and report to HR if have one. As they happen. However if you do this you're guns need someone to confirm as a witness, and people get weird about that... I've been in situations like it where people I "thought" were friends stabbed me un the back.They shouldn't be allowed to get away with it but ypu canf dwell. Put yourself first and stay strong. These people are sad and unfulfilled. Take care
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (14 March 2017):
I certainly don't blame you for wanting to leave - I wouldn't want to work in a toxic environment like that - but do secure another job before you hand your notice in. Get job-hunting now!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 March 2017):
 Its easier to get another job while you are still employed, start looking for work, get friends to keep an ear to the ground and to check any notice boards etc. that might be in places you don't frequent very often. Also dedicate some time each evening looking at online job sites.
Try and let the gay comments just roll off your back, not easy but try to ignore the mean and spiteful comments from your co worker.
The place sounds toxic, I've worked in several toxic workplaces and management were either too dumb to notice what was going on or they just didn't care.
If you can't cope with it for too much longer then don't! It might mean it will be just that much more difficult to find another job and to be unemployed but it will still be much better than having to work somewhere that is making you feel so bad.
PS ... it seems that emptying the bins is one of your duties, and so you need to empty the bins without being asked to do it everyday.
Good luck, I hope you find something else fairly quickly.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 March 2017):
Have you looked for a new job to replace this one with?
Can your family do OK without your income?
Does this company have an HR department?
I can understand that no one wants to work in a hostile work environment, but personally, I'd probably suck it up till I had another job.
As for someone calling you gay or thinking you are gay - tbh you need to start not giving a crap. - someone like the person who spreads that kind of rumors are NOT good people and probably bully to make herself feel better about her little life. (that is not an excuse, though, more like a reason).
I would try for the next month or two (if you can stand it) to try EXTRA hard in finding a new job. BEFORE quitting, especially if you family NEEDS your income.
Unfortunately, there ARE places of work that is so toxic that leaving seem the only way out. Though if emptying bins is part of your job, then you empty bins.
You age group is listed as 30-35 so you are OLD enough to know that you have to consider all the facts.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2017): I am sorry but this is your side of the story so any judgement of the situation will be one sided. Why would they bully you? Have you stopped and thought about that? Do you argue with your superiors everytime they ask you to do something? Are you friendly with your collegues and say hello and good morning to them? Are you angry all the time and carry a chip on your shoulder and think that everyone is endepted to you? Sorry for these harsh questions but remember you are over thirty years old and it is not easy to find jobs these days. I suggest you stop and take a pen and paper and write down all the merits and contributions you are making to the company and the reasons for the negative attitude from everyone towards you and discuss your problems with those close. If you decide to leave the company make sure you have another job lined up before you do that. Good luck.
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