A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After a two year relationship with my ex (with one breakup then makeup between that), we ended our relationship a couple of months ago but have been talking to each other daily. Flirting, as well...Honestly, it was starting to make my feel uncomfortable, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I wanted to be apart from him, not have daily contact with him whether it was in person or through text. After a while, he stopped texting me. Before we broke up, I was always the one to try to hang out or call. Never seemed that interested. After we broke up, he was the one to text me first. Funny how that works. I lost interest. So when he stopped texting/calling me recently, I didn't bother to text back. I'm no longer interested in him. He is a good guy, but I want to date... not be stuck with my ex.Recently, he contacted me and said he was hurt that I've made no effort to talk to him. Then of course, I feel bad.I kind of cut him off cold turkey. But I don't want to remain in that much contact... AND I don't know if its right for me to just tell him straight up to stop contacting me.The constant contact made me feel like I was still in some way attached to him... I want to date, I want to be free!would love some advice or opinions... Should I tell him that I don't want to keep talking with him, at least not right now and not as much? Or should I just drift away....
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015): Hi. He can't move on to the next stage of breaking up with you until you have a clean break I'm afraid....you owe it to him.
He is limbo with his emotions....feeling sad, and has no ending to it. It won't get easier for him while you allow contact.
If you want to move on with your life without him, he needs to know it's really over so you have to let him know, no more contact.
He'll be ok. And so will you.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 August 2015):
 You are over him. You are ready to move on. But he's now regretting losing you. He's hoping a little flirting will soften your resolve to break-up.
He's not yet over you.
He's hurting.
Be kind, and don't give him false hope.
Truthfully tell him it's over and don't give in to pleas of ''one last meeting for closure''.
Is he likely to be very ''down'' if he has no contact - it's looking that way.
Who can he resort to for comfort and support when he finally accepts that he can't call you - a family member, a close friend?
If you think there is absolutely no one he can call on then think of his doctor or a local coumselling service.
Don't just let things wither. That will prolong his pain.
Instead phone him up - remind him who else he can call for support - a family member or a good friend. If that's not an option then strongly suggest that he seek out some professional support to get over this breakup.
Tell him that he can't call on you for support any more. That it'll be a clean break and no contact from now on.
Encourage him to seek out the support above.
And mean what you are saying. No drifting back occasionally, by him to, nor by you or to him.
Remind him that some relationship grow and some falter.
Wish him well for the future and hope that he does seek (from others) the emotional support (that it seems he does need) which will get him over this hurdle.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 August 2015):
 You know the relationship is OVER, you don't OWE him constant contact.
In order for you (and him) to move on, NOT having contact makes so much more sense. You even said that you FEEL uncomfortable with the contact, so stop being a people-pleaser for 5 minutes and tell him. "I don't feel keeping in contact is working for me, I wish you the best and I'm going to cut the contact 100%"
NO need to feel bad. HE need to let you go as well.
You wouldn't have sex with him either, would you? If he told you he missed it and you not wanting it any more makes him feel "bad"?
Him not liking that you cut the contact is quite honestly TOO bad for him. HE will get over it.
Cut the contact ( I would tell him, because no amount of subtle hints is going to make him realize YOU no longer want contact) then BLOCK him on the phone, the FB, etc.
Do it for you. And remember IT DOES not make you a "bad" or "mean" person to want to distance yourself from him.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (2 August 2015):
 My first thought on reading your post was, why are you still in frequent touch with him when you've broken up? What sense does that make? A break-up means that you're not interested in carrying on with the relationship and talking to him daily shows that you are either not serious about the break-up or that there is still a hope for the two of you to get back.
If you don't want to talk to him then just tell him that. Tell him that you want to be civil with him regarding the break-up and wish him well but make it very clear that you want no contact because that is important for you to be able to move on. Its absolutely acceptable to tell him straight up to stop contacting you. Be firm with him. Tell him that you've been very nice to him but enough is enough . Block his number if he continues to call. Unfriend him on facebook.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (2 August 2015):
 Reason he keeps in contact is that he desperately wants to hang onto you, either get back or just have possessive control of you. I don't know which but if you have decided to be free of him, I see no reason why you should not tell him to go away. Instead of feeling bad for him, feel bad for yourself that you are dabbling into a failed relationship with no prospects. To move on in life, it's important to firmly place certain things in the past and not allow them to bother you. You need to do that with this guy.
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