A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Do guys care as much about weight as girls imagine them to? Or do girls simply create this belief that most guys like slim girls?I'm in a fairly new relationship and i'm really happy with my boyfriend but i'm extremely insecure and am completely unsure why he is going out with me. He's the sorta guy that has been known to be a bit of a player and able to get heaps of girls. I'm apparently the most committed relationship he has been in... He is really sporty and and is well built with no fat on him. Me on the otherhand, I'm not fat, I play sports and all, but i'm not skinny. I feel like i'm so much larger than him... I've met his family and his sisters are all so tiny and it makes me feel more insecure and more confused on why he'd go out with me... I hadn't known him well before we started going out, plus i'm shy, so he didn't really have a good indication on my personality to make myself more appealing in any way... I know i sound really superficial and stupid, but this is really troubling me. It affects my relationship especially the phsyical side of it as I'm worried how he'll react to my body...
View related questions:
insecure, player, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, i.love.you  +, writes (21 July 2010):
 I'd just like to point out to the first guy on this list that I am 83kg and 5,6 - you do the math into lbs.
150 lbs is NOT a big girl. I am admired by my boyfriend and he's skinny so it really is down to personal preference.
Thank you.
A
male
reader, HarryFlashman  +, writes (11 February 2010):
They care -- guys are exposed to the same ideals as everyone else -- but not as much as most women think. Women who are 10 or even 20 lbs over weight generally still look fine to the guys who love them. 150lbs is another story...
Personal confidence/manner also counts for a lot. A woman who acts confidently and believes she is sexy _will_ be sexy to many men, even if she is a bit overweight.
Don't beat yourself up over this.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Not Really. Girls these days are obsessed with their weight. Why though - this is a bigger question. Celebrities are competing in who's the skinniest and that makes teenage girls and older women to feel less special. Less beautiful. Wrong. When really, guys have always liked curves. Don't starve yourself. Don't eat yourself to death. Be sensible and careful what you eat- without being paranoid.
Thanks for reading :) x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): SWEETIE YOU ARE SET! I'm in my late 20's and felt the way you did at your age, I was also athletic but was never considered skinny...and ALWAYS wanted to be....now I know the secret...GUYS DONT CARE ABOUT SKINNY!.....keep up your sports and you are going to LOVE your body and make guys drool...I love my body (and so do guys thank you very much) Skinny is for runways and thats it...guys love your smile, your eyes, your laugh and that you like yourself and can have fun (and meat adds more to the TnA which they dont mind either) oh, and PS if his sisters are skinny chances are he likes the opposite - trust me!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): I LOVE bigger girls. I love the curves. I love their round faces. I love nice big thighs. Big asses. I love the little curve they have under their tummy but above their pubes that skinny girls don't even have! I love the curve from the elbow to the shoulder and from the shoulder to the neck. I love it all!Skinny girls have too many bones showing and that's not attractive (to me).Guys like different things. Some like tall girls, other like short. Some like blonde, some like redheads.He was attracted to you in the first place, so he probably likes girls who look something like you, and wouldn't want you to change.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): Quick answer to the title: no way. I know really some gorgeus girls who worry about their weight when they really shouldn't be. Not saying they shouldn't be healthy and keep in shape just that they don't need to be skinny like some models are as that can be unhealthy and isn't really attractive to most guys (presuming their doing to be attractive to men). I'm pretty sure most men prefer curves, but also to be able to hold the girl properly. Skinny isn't good usually it freaks me out a bit, but so does obese to be honest. Hope that helped.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2007): Guys definitely do care about looks in general, but at the same time weight is only one aspect of looks. It matters but keep it in perspective.And guys also tend to like women to be at least a little bit heavier than women themselves think is "perfect." Look at porno chicks: Most porn is made for men, and the average female weight in that industry is definitely a notch heavier than the fashion magazines that women look at.
...............................
A
male
reader, air show +, writes (4 September 2007):
 i have been in a few relationships, the best one i had was a girl who had a bit of "meat on they're bones"
...............................
A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (4 September 2007):
 Great question Anon Female!Ive had two serious relationships with women who "have a little meat on theyre bones" as it were. Both stressed it occasionally and thought I was WAY more concerned with appearance than I am. I hope I dont hurt you by saying this. The biggest turn off about theyre weight was how they dealt with it, not that it was there. They wernt even overweight, just well built and like you had an athletic backround. It became a little offensive to have them assume I was judging theyre weight. I TOTALLY wasnt. I rather like a curvy well built woman thank you very much! Even then I dont judge a woman by appearance alone. She could be skinny too and I would still like her if she was fun and secure with her body. Insecurity is a far bigger problem than weight in my experience.Try to lighten up my dear! Hes probably like me and alot of other very very normal guys out there.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Obviously he likes you the way you are, It's a new reslationship and he was very attracted you so what's to worry? Enjoy yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff sweetheart.
...............................
A
female
reader, pink_fairy22 +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Hey! Dont worry! To be honest guys dont always go for skinny girls. A lot of guys like girls with curves. Everyone looks for different things in people :). He probably loves your figure and so should you, its not always healthy or good looking to be model skinny. To be honest i never thought i would ever be able to get guys but once you believe in yourself and become more confident and like who you are you can get any good looking guy. Trust me liking who you are solves a lot of problems :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 September 2007):
 I'm fully with Sandman.
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (2 September 2007):
 I think you need to work at building your confidence & self esteem up here. If you are thinking that you are not good enough for him all the time, or you body is not right, or his sisters are all so thin, this is dwelling on negative things, which in time will just bring you down.
Try to focus on positive things, be happy with your body, and realise that if he did not like you he would not be dating you. Try some relaxation tecniques, lay somewhere on your own for about half hour concentrating on your breathing while in your mind placing your self in your favourite place. Tell yourself good things, really praise yourself, you can do or have anything, you are a beautiful person inside and out. Maybe do this two or three times a week. Also Paul Mckenna does some great hypnosis CDs for this sort of thing, and after you feel relaxed refreshed and confident.
Take care xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): Sounds like my sister and her b/f. My sister b/f is a goodlooking guy and he's skinny, my sister is slim but she's not model slim and has a bit of fat on her. Her b/f perfectly happy with her. She's also the shy reserved one and he's the loud one. Seems to work for them, he properly loves your curves!
...............................
A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (2 September 2007):
 Well, the reality is that a guy likes what he likes - just like a girl likes what she likes. You're playing yourself short by believing most (or even all) men like girls to be slim. So what you're "not skinny" - he might like that! Furthermore, the more a girl shows that she is comfortable with her looks and feels like she's looking good, then most (or even all) men will like that quality. They might not actually like what they're looking at, but the fact that the girl carries herself in a positive manner and has high self esteem is a quality that is attractive. So stop beating yourself and thinking that you can't get a "well built" guy! You CAN get a good looking guy if you believe that you're worth getting one! So do me a favor, go look in a mirror and take a good look at what you're looking at. Then I want you to say "Guys like THIS! ALL of this this!" Believe it, because it's true. There are men who will kill to have a woman like you - you just need to feel it in your heart.Hope this helps.
...............................
|
