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Did he or did he not? I am 16, why did my BF lie about losing his virginity and then change his story?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex, Teenage, Trust issues, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 May 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 May 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

So I have been with my boyfriend who I met at a concert for a month. We are both sixteen. We hadn't discussed sex at all until now. I was curious to know if he had sex before, but I wasn't bold enough to ask outright. So when we were finally talking about it, I asked will I be your first and he more or less dodged the question, asking well will he be mine. I replied honestly, saying no, I lost my virginity very young, and have slept with 4 people in total, I am not proud but what's done is done and I can't lie about it.

He was being really evasive, when I asked him questions, like who was the first girl you did it with etc, he just mumbled I don't know I was drunk and don't remember.

He later admitted when we were about to have sex yesterday that it would be his first time and he hadn't done it before.

I just don't get why he lied to me, and how can I believe that he really hasn't?

View related questions: drunk, lost my virginity

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (23 May 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntHe probably did not want you to think he was abnormal or that he was inexperienced. I am glad he finally told you the truth, but he did not lie to hurt you, it was just his pride getting in the way, no guy wants to admit that they are still a virgin.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (21 May 2016):

chigirl agony auntHe was a virgin. Men see this as something negative, something that makes them less attractive. Saying he is a virgin is the same to these men/boys as saying they have a small penis. They are embarrassed, and think it makes them less of a man. So he lied to save face.

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (21 May 2016):

Myau agony auntOK as an adult I feel I have to say this first.

Your both grounded.

Now as for your question, he was just scared that you wouldn't like him or worse laugh at him. The teen years are insanely awkward and it hard to get comfortable with another person.

He didn't mean to lie to you or make you angry.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (21 May 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntProbably wanted to come of Mr. Experience after hearing your 4 to his well...none. Think nothing more of it as he is probably a bit embarrassed. If I may offer you some advice in addition to your question that would be not to be to intrusive as to ask about a partners sexual past. Chances are you get two answers an embellished one or a toned down version of the truth. So what really is the point. If you ask about the 'who, the wheres and the whats' it can cause problems of jealousy and insecurities. Two of the biggest causes of relationship breakdown. My second piece of advice and the obvious - WEAR a CONDOM, ALWAYS, not sometimes, ALWAYS

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntMany boys (and men) don't like to admit that they are inexperienced because they *think* they will be judged for NOT having much of it. Just like MANY girls and women lie about the number of partners they have had out of fear of being judged.

Good for you for not lying.

Now this is advice from the MOM in me, since you say you regret having HAD 4 partners already, then maybe you need to SLOW down before having sex with this one. 1 month in, is VERY soon. And secondly.. PLEASE PLEASE be using birth-control BOTH pill & condom. The last thing YOU (and BF) need is a pregnancy.

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