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Controlling & jealous boyfriend and the man I fancy at my local hangout

Tagged as: Crushes, Flirting, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2023) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 November 2023)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a boyfriend for 6 years now and while we have a great relationship, his very jealousy and controlling …A few months back I broke it off because of his constant jealousy tantrums…I was also going through some personal family issues (my only parent is becoming a jerk ) …though all that stress , I started drinking abit more and frequenting my local hangout …where I made out with a waiter …We (me and the waiter ) realized it was a big mistake …his married and I was acting out of stress ..two months have passed …I still visit the hung out …we crush but we are waiting for the crush to fade away naturally…I have been very polite and I am also back with my boyfriend (the crush still thinks I am s single ) and I have tried not to visit the hangout with my boyfriend out of respect for my crush …The crush however has been kind of introducing me to his wife every time she comes around …i usually remain cool headed and respectful however it’s beginning to irritate me because his making it a habit …I don’t know if he doesn’t realize it’s inconsiderate and insensitive …

When his working …we avoid any kind of flirting ,save for the occasional eye contact

My boyfriend has no idea , his been actually quizzing me why I haven’t wanted to go the hung out ….Should I go there with my boyfriend and give him the taste of his own medicine ?

View related questions: crush, flirt, jealous

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (27 November 2023):

Ciar agony auntYep. What Honeypie said.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 November 2023):

Honeypie agony auntSo your solution to your OWN bad behavior is to act like your BF who has "constant jealousy tantrums"?

I mean, really?!

It doesn't make any sense!

You are a GROWN up not a tween! ACT like a grown up!

Stop going to the bar. The waiter introduced you to his wife to MAKE sure you KNOW he is married, and this "sloppy drunk kiss" cannot EVER happen again.

"I don’t know if he doesn’t realize it’s inconsiderate and insensitive …"

To whom? You? Or his wife? Because I think you got things messed up here. The one he is "inconsiderate and insensitive" towards is his wife - not you. YOU were a mistake. (just as HE was a mistake for you).

JUST stay away. And stop drinking. It doesn't help squat.

Figure out if you really WANT to be with your jealous tantrums throwing BF or not. If you do, you two need to figure out how to make things work without adding alcohol or other people.

If you are OVER this relationship (which I think most women would be) then END it. MOVE on. But still STAY away from married men. And alcohol.

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