A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my wife and i are at the end of our marriage, I think.I made mistakes. When I was dating her i was also dating another.I proposed to her with hickies from another woman on me. While married i felt feelings for her sister for 2 weeks and just recently i told another woman i loved her, but realized i didnt. My wife has has her fair share of mistakes.When we were engaged i told her i wasnt sure i wanted to amd she ended up sleeping with 2 different partners.Just recently a week before she moved out she slept with another and the condom broke and she believed she was pregnant as a result.I was still there for her and found out today she is not pregnant. She still doesn't want to fix our marraige even though i forgave her.I want to be with her but she says no, because she ia not in love with me anymore and that she doeant want to answer to anyone and is not sure she could stay faithful to me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2012): No this marriage is over. It actually never was real to begin with and you should not have got married.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 December 2012):
 Perhaps the two of you could just take a casual "break" for a couple of years... and, during those years, perhaps ONE OF YOU will grow in to adulthood...
If that happens, then the new adult can be put in-charge of your "relationship/marriage" and decide if the two of you could and should go on with it....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 December 2012):
 Sounds like your marriage is so full of holes that if you could fix it, you'd both be 80 years old, I think it best you move on and go your separate ways. Learn from your mistakes when you both find someone you are actually compatible with.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (8 December 2012):
Sounds like the both of you rushed in to marriage when you were clearly not ready to settle down. What’s more, she doesn’t want to fix the marriage and you, whilst claiming to want to be with her, say you’ve had feelings for her sister and tell another woman you love her, then apparently change your mind. Clearly you are either not meant to be together or are just far too immature for marriage and commitment. One would have thought the depressingly unromantic circumstances of your proposal should have been a bit of a clue. Why did you go ahead if you weren’t sure? As shambolic marriage disasters go, yours really does take the biscuit. Go your separate ways and accept it’s over, learn from your mistakes. Better that than run in to the arms of, or jump in to the bed of, some-one else every time things get a bit tough. Ridiculous!
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 December 2012):
 I think your wife is making the right decision when she says "no". Neither of you have demonstrated the capacity for a loving monogamous relationship.
The fact you developed feelings for her sister for two weeks and then told another woman you loved her shows you have no staying power, men committed to their wives and marriage just don't go around falling in love with other women willy nilly.
And as you say your wife is no better, having sex with another man while still in a marriage with you. At least she appears mature enough to recognise the marriage is a dead end street and there is nothing there for either of you.
Time to admit the marriage is over, and try to grow up and develop some maturity before you consider trying to settle down again, its just lucky there are no children involved here, consider the example you would have been setting. Not good believe me, not good at all.
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