A
female
age
41-50,
*oraatuha
writes:I am confused, i am in a good relationship with a great guy, who loves me and the sex is great. however he's in a relationship with the mother of his daughter.(they stay in the same house, she doesn't have anywhere else to go, plus he loves the daughter,)Though he wants us be serious, build a house and later wed me,he's not yet told the mother of his child that he loves me.(However am sure she knows he's seeing someone, because he stays with me from friday to monday.)i think he's still confused on how he will make the bold step of telling everyone.He drinks so much too and he's not good looking either.so am sure from his life style, you are not surprised that all my family members don't like him for me.However i love him and he has good manners too.Now another guy is coming in the picture, his drama free, good looking(better than the first one)and as serious. everyone would love him., not sure if i will get to love him....but i will try...and i will get therei dont know who to be with? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): Man, you're getting played. I watch Cheaters all the time and some of the women are literally like "He's home all the time, how do you even have time to cheat?"... guys with children, wives, whole other families. I don't know about the second guy, but I know you SHOULD NOT be with the first guy. What's worse is you "thinking she knows". He LIVES with this woman, he has a child with her. She's more than likely oblivious, and so are you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Guy number one “the great guy”
Lives with another woman
Has a child
Does not tell anyone about you
Drinks to excess
Is not good looking in your eyes…
You say you love him and he has good manners… really? Good manners… he gives you the LINE that he lives with his baby’s mama because she doesn’t have anywhere to go and he loves the daughter… CROCK of POO honey… Manners means he has ONE relationship with a woman at a time… living with his “ex” makes her NOT an ex.
Guy number two:
Drama free (that’s good but for someone who thrives on drama it could be construed as BORING)
Good looking (not important as looks fade in time dear one)
You will TRY to love him….?
How about NEITHER guy…. How about you figure out what YOU want for YOU and you spend some alone time detoxing from the first relationship that you need to get out of.
Truthfully, if you HAVE to make a choice and YOU can’t be ALONE, then go for door (and guy) number two…
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 October 2012):
 The second guy. What is the point in trying to have a relationship with a man who lives with someone else? You are just his bit on the side, good sex and someone to have fun with, then he can go back and play happy families whenever he wants.
He is using you, and you are letting him. And I cant believe you are falling for the 'I'll leave her and marry you' line, all men who cheat say this and it is a great big LIE. He has no intentions of leaving his family, as he has said he loves his daughter and doesnt want to leave. HE IS NEVER LEAVING HIS PARTNER FOR YOU. End of story.
So stop wasting your time with a man who is in a relationship and find a single man. You have even said yourself you dont find this guy attractive, and he drinks a lot - he is just a bad choice all round.
End the affair now, stop allowing yourself to be used and find a single guy who can give you what you want. You are just wasting your time if you think this guy is ever going to marry you. You will be waiting for the rest of your life if you want that to happen!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Seriously, how likely are you ever to be with the first guy in a serious committed relationship? He is having his cake and eating it...sleeping with two women, stringing you along. If he was really serious about you would he really be having sex with someone else???
Of course he is Mr nice guy...that's how he keeps you on the hook, but good manners??? COME ON...SERIOUSLY???
Now another guy has come along!!! Are you sleeping with him??? Sleeping with both guys?
You talk about love...but what you are both doing is most definitely NOT love. If you loved eachother do you really think either of you would be in this messy situation?
Maybe you should all live together, sleep with whoever, whenever, wherever, but god help the poor child caught up in the sham that your 'relationship' is.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Maybe you may be better not being with anyone. Sit back and reflect on everything first. You cannot get to love people by trying to love. it will fail.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): At this moment I don't think you should be with any of them. I think you should learn to love and respect yourself first. You have allowed yourself to be treated bad and will likely treat the nice guy the same way you have enjoyed being treated.
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