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Flirting with me while all the time having a girlfriend!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 September 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 September 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I can not get this man out of my head! I met this man at a fitness class, we got on great had lots of chemistry, and would always chat for hours. He always singled me out in this class and would smile all the time at me. He then asked me to go to different classes with him etc and gave me lifts home. He would remeber little things I had told him. We were like this for months, then one day I made friends with him on the dreaded fb and realised he had a girlfriend the whole time, he took ages to accept me! Couldn't quite believe it, he had never once mentioned her. So anyway I really like this guy and know it can not progress as he has a girlfriend. He seemed like he liked me a lot too. So do I stop seeing this guy completely, ie stop going to his classes. I know it sounds silly but If they ever did break up I dont want him to have forgotton about me If he doesn't see me but I think it is too hard to see him and know nothing can happen.

Any opinions wouls be great.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 September 2011):

Honeypie agony auntSeems to me that he is a overly friendly guy and that he likes to get attention from the ladies.

I would (if I had feelings for the guy) walk away, remove myself from his FB and life. I wouldn't want to pine after a guy who is "taken", nor would I want to date a guy who hits on others girls and "forget" about mentioning me. IF this dude just wanted to be friends... He would have told you about the GF a long time ago.

Find yourself a single fella.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 September 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntYou are friends... he never made a pass at you or tried to be romantic... he was just a friend.. nothing more...

You are reading into this as attention in a more romantic sense... at least that's my take on why ask this question...

after all, if you had no interest in him as a dating partner you would not be questioning this action.

why stop seeing a friend? would you stop seeing a platonic girlfriend socially because she had a boyfriend? so why can't you be friends with a man?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2011):

Never underestimate a man's ego. Sometimes it can be bigger than the man.

This guy obviously liked you, maybe fancied you and wanted your attention. He no doubt saw that you were somewhat attracted to him, so he went right ahead and built up his ego.

Thing is, you've now read far, far too much into his actions. You've gotten to the point where you're actually thinking that he might break up with his girlfriend so you're hanging around hoping he'd then come to you. But he won't. If he felt anything more for you, he'd have dumped her aged ago and you'd be dating. That hasn't happened.

I think it probably would be best for you if you changed classes and moved on. Being around him is only good for that ego of his. It's no good for you and in the end you'll be missing on single guys who can be more exciting than him.

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