Break up or make up again?
Q. Well a four days ago I found out my boyfriend had a face book without telling me and so I wait to see if he tells me and he still doesn't so the next day I stayed home it was a friday night and I went to bed early because my mom is in the hospital ...
A. 19 October 2010: Okay, so he has a history of damaging the trust you have in him. You have been in this situation for years now. Do you feel so frustrated that you can't even tell what is going on in his head? Do you feel like you mistreat him because of how much ... (read in full...)
Friendship into more?
Q. I asked this question once before, but now, I'm asking again, with more details, so it's more understandable. How can I take a busy girl's friendship further into a potential relationship? ~~~~~~ In detail: She's the average, silent, "I ...
A. 18 October 2010: Be direct with her. Let her know you are attracted and that you want to take things to that next level.
... (read in full...)
He broke up saying I was too obsessive over him!
Q. me and my boyfriend have recently broken up. we were together for 2 years and 4 months. when he broke up with me he told me he still loves me and always will. he broke up with me because i was obsessive over him and my world just revolved around h...
A. 17 October 2010: Give him space. He wanted to split for some reason, even though he probably doesn't know exactly what it is. If it is in part because of how obsessive you are, be sure to give him space.
Instead, go focus on doing your own thing. Go try and run ... (read in full...)
Friend dilemma... what do I do, I don't want to lose him!
Q. Recently i met this guy i really really like and i was so into him but he had a girlfriend and i had a boyfriend so i never expected that there could be something between us. We both go to the same school and our significant others go to different ...
A. 17 October 2010: Be open and honest with him. Your whole situation doesn't seem too hard to swallow from his perspective. Just make you help him air things out with his friend, and deal with his ex.
And take your time. You may have been ready to bounce back aft... (read in full...)
Having second thoughts after breaking off our engagement....
Q. Ugh. I broke off my engagement but I am having second thoughts after seeing him again.? After a terrible month of really bad communication and him blowing up and disrespecting me and my family in anger, I broke off my engagement. I still loved hi...
A. 17 October 2010: He is all of the above. I would imagine that you are so emotionally frazzled that you may be in the same boat he is.
If you are going to try and spend time apart, be serious about it. Make it 2-3 months, cut all contact, and don't let friends ... (read in full...)
She's just not that type of girl at all...
Q. hello guys, i really need every single bit of advice and feedback from you guys. I've been with my LDR gf for 2 years, we knew each other for over 5 years but we just got back together after i went abroad for studies, so i never even had the ...
A. 17 October 2010: Sleeping and partying with other women certainly won't help you get over her.
Change the pace in your life. Change locations, or change jobs, or change hobbies. Get a different circle of friends that have different common interests. Take classes,... (read in full...)
The things girls do!!!
Q. Over the years I have either read or heard from some of my guy friends about little things girls do that they find sexy. One example is putting on lipstick or lip gloss in front of them. Are there any little things that we may or may not be aware...
A. 17 October 2010: I'm only going to answer that last sentence.
If a girl kept doing those things in front of me, I wouldn't take it as a sign of interest. Yes it may be sexy, but most of the "sexy" things women do they do without realizing they are being sexy. On... (read in full...)
Help! I feel I'm stuck in the middle...
Q. Ok, so my husband passed away about 2 years ago, and I have been seeing this guy now for over a year. We had our ups and downs. I think mainly because I wasn't ready at first. But he truly cared for me and stayed with me through my grieving process. ...
A. 17 October 2010: How old are your children?
You can take your time and give them all multiple opportunities to warm up to each other. If they don't, you have to decide how incompatible they are.
Your responsibility is to your children. If they can't live with ... (read in full...)
Is he playing hard to get and why hasn't he returned my call?
Q. okay my ex broke up with me over the summer and i was heartbroken but we've been talking to each other, in fact i know more about him in the last two months than in the last months months of his relationship. now i told him if he starts to see other ...
A. 17 October 2010: Get yourself moved on. He may come around in the future, but for right now you need to get yourself mentally and emotionally calmed enough to where you will be able to see if he changes or if he just wants to fall back into old relationships because ... (read in full...)
Despondent in love...
Q. Am so tired of all this, i feel like crying, i have never been lucky with guys and can't find any reason why. ok am 18, tall, slim and fair in complexion, people say am pretty so why do the guys i like not seem attracted to me and the two guys that ...
A. 17 October 2010: You need to do what makes you happy. At this point I think you should end things with your current man, and work on boosting your self esteem.
Exercise, join a club or a school or a community that you can grow mentally and emotionally in. Get your... (read in full...)
A choice!
Q. I have been in a long term relationship with John for 4 years. We have had a lot of ups and downs throughout this time and many guys have liked me and tried to get me to leave him, but i always stayed. I feel as if John and I have nothing in ...
A. 17 October 2010: Alright sweetheart, I really feel for you in this situation. And I'm sorry, but here comes the truth:
You are dating John. Period. Nothing else should matter. Now, if John makes you happy then stay with him and cut out the talking to hunks be... (read in full...)
Can a marriage sustained by a lie survive?
Q. If someone believes that their partner would leave them, if they knew a particular truth, can the marriage survive? Regardless of whether the truth comes out or not? It's hard to believe that a marriage can survive when it is being held together by ...
A. 17 October 2010: It's a tough question. The strict answer would be yes, it could survive on a lie, but I'm not sure to what capacity.
If I had cheated on my wife once, a long time ago, and I changed my ways and loved her and never cheated again, then yeah I could ... (read in full...)
I can see us being happy, but he has thought way too far into the future. What do I do?
Q. Me and a guy (lets call him 'guy') know each other through a friend (lets call her 'girl'), for around a month now. He found me attractive, and so did I. We met up twice afterwards by ourselves and last time we met, we kissed. The attraction between ...
A. 17 October 2010: Don't over think it. He says he doesn't want to lose you, be happy with that. The two of you haven't really had much time to get to know each other, so you don't know exactly how much he thinks that way or how much he trusts in his own thoughts.
... (read in full...)
Heck, she won't have sex with me!
Q. So iv'e been dating my girlfriend for 3 months now and we totally accept each other and we are totally open with each other, we really really like each other. The thing is it's been 3 months and she still is acting a bit strange about having sex ...
A. 17 October 2010: It's her body, it's her call. If she wants to save her first time for a special time, you either respect her and her decision or you leave because you can't deal with that.
But trying to force or coerce her into sex isn't something that someone ... (read in full...)
What he did hurt me now I don't know what to do and can't talk to my friends about it. Help!
Q. I'm really confused now. I just found out that my boyfriend has been talking to some men on the internet about wanted to experiencing being with another man. Okay i can say that i understand him a bit, because i have always been curious about how it ...
A. 17 October 2010: I'm so sorry for your situation.
If he had been online with women saying he wanted to experience sex with someone besides you, we would all call that cheating and you would kick him to the curb. Just because it's a guy doesn't make it okay. If... (read in full...)
I'm having some red flags about this relationship now. What do you guys think?
Q. I am in a relationship with a man for 5 months now, we were friends for 2 months before that, so weve known each other more like 7 months... we get along good, and when i met him I thought i not be with another man again, because my ex-fiancee ab...
A. 17 October 2010: It sounds to me like you aren't ready to trust him yet. That isn't your fault, and it isn't his. I think your best bet would be to just let these things go, and move slowly with him. Take your time getting to know who he is as a person, and don't ... (read in full...)
Guy actually got beter when I took him back
Q. Ok so ive been with my boyfriend almost a year now and its been up and down. When we first got together it seemed like i was chasing someone out of my leaugue but he did things for me that let me know he was interested. We moved 2 hours away to a ...
A. 17 October 2010: I don't have all the information, but from your post I would think he is either using you or suffers from severe mood swings. Either way, I recommend moving back home and telling him that he needs the time and space to get his life sorted out.
... (read in full...)
Long Distance has killed my relationship... help me get him back!!
Q. So, I've been with my boyfriend, for about 11 months. He lives 70 miles away, about an hour and a half in up the motorway!! He has two jobs - a full time 8-5 weekday job, and does shifts in a bar over the weekend! We were going along quite nicely, ...
A. 17 October 2010: It may really just be the situation that has him frustrated. He sounds like he is so busy that trying to have a serious relationship with anyone tips his stress scales.
If that is the case, then you need to respect his decision and realize ... (read in full...)
I like him but I'm not sure whether I really love him.
Q. I like him but I'm not sure whether I really love him. maybe i do... but the fact that his family background aint that good that my mother will get me married to him makes me think again whether ive made the right choice. I've got plenty of time ...
A. 17 October 2010: Don't ever fall for the blackmail in a relationship. You will be miserable for years. If he wants to tell your secrets, it will only really cause you grief for a short period of time and then you can move on and focus on meeting someone truly ... (read in full...)
Break up or make up again?
Q. Well a four days ago I found out my boyfriend had a face book without telling me and so I wait to see if he tells me and he still doesn't so the next day I stayed home it was a friday night and I went to bed early because my mom is in the hospital ...
A. 17 October 2010: I don't know your entire situation, but breaking up with a man because he has a Facebook seems a bit harsh without a track record of previous behind-your-back incidents.
Whatever the case may be, you are definitely frustrated, so spending... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to meet his family???
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He is Italian. I am American. He does not have as close of a relationship with his family as I have with mine and given that he's going through a bought of unemployment (which is unacceptable to ...
A. 17 October 2010: No you aren't wrong. At the same time, if he really does have other worries it may be something he just doesn't want to deal with.
I would tell him you want it to happen, but not press for it immediately. Tell him you just want to meet them bef... (read in full...)
Same problem is rearing its ugly head again and I need your advice!
Q. I have been married for thirty years. About 20 years ago my husband had a three year relationship with another woman that caused me to have a breakdown. I have had trust issues ever since. He has since had what he says is a friendship with ...
A. 17 October 2010: In my book, a person loses all privileges when they cheat. After that, they have to do and not do whatever is needed to keep their partner's trust.
I would confront him and tell him he has no wiggle room. He can make those adjustments ... (read in full...)
I envy my ex boyfriend!
Q. I envy my ex boyfriend. I see him going out, having fun with his friends, like he's already over me, or maybe if he's not over me, at least he's happy and confident. I'm not. I feel ugly, uninteresting, boring, worthless. I have friends, we go o...
A. 17 October 2010: Back in the day, I was in a similar situation to yours. Eventually, I had to move out of the small town for a few months to get away from all the things that reminded me of her.
Recognize that how your ex feels has nothing to do with how you feel... (read in full...)
He said I'm way to young for him at the moment... what do I do?
Q. hey, im 14 and i met this boy, ive known him for around a year now, and everday i just become more and more in love with him, he likes me to and hes told me that im way to young at the moment. what do i do, the age difference is 5 years....
A. 17 October 2010: He is 19 and you are 14, so dating you can land him in serious legal trouble.
I'm afraid you just have to wait until you are older.... (read in full...)
I can't attract the right type of woman
Q. Hi, I am a 30-year old male who is single after a 4-year relationship that ended 6 months ago. I have been trying hard to get back on the dating scene with no success. I am not sure what the reasons are but I can't seem to attract women or shall I ...
A. 17 October 2010: You can't find a date let alone a relationship because you are looking in the wrong places. The reality is that you don't meet serious dates in bars or clubs. Maybe people get lucky and find someone once in a while, but it isn't a good place to ... (read in full...)
I lied about being sexually experienced, and now worry I will disappoint
Q. hello everyone, Ive got myself in this somewhat awkward situation. First of all im a 19 year old male, and still virgin. A few weeks ago I met this Girl and I really like her, we get along quite well. We went out for 2-3 dates and always had...
A. 17 October 2010: Tell her the truth.
You can lie to get sex with a woman you yourself are worried you can't please, or you can be honest with her and not have to worry about the outcome.... (read in full...)
Why is his ex still hanging around him?
Q. Agony aunts and uncles, I just don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together about three months now and are very much in love. We were both out of extremely long relationships (mine lasting six years and his lasting four) before we ...
A. 17 October 2010: I am a firm believer that an ex as a friend just doesn't work. That being said, it definitely won't work if your man doesn't put you first in everything.
Sit down and write out how you feel about this ex. From there, write out the limits you want... (read in full...)
Very insecure girlfriend, inexperienced me.
Q. Hi, I'm new to the site, but have found this site several times in the past while looking for answers to problems. First, a bit of background. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 months now, and things have progressed very fast since then. We'r...
A. 17 October 2010: Counseling. Regular couples counseling would be very good for both of you. You said that the problems come and go, and in order for you both to find and rise above the underlying problems, you need to hash them out as they are happening.
I'm s... (read in full...)
Hmmm... Does my ex still have feelings for me?
Q. my ex and me broke up i left him and he moved out so i went back home with the kids he i never spoke to him in a month and now hes doing things i dont understand like he still might like me? or dont? i cant tell pls help... For starters my question...
A. 17 October 2010: My initial response based on your post is that he is searching for argumentative ammo, for any number of reasons. I would consider you wise to simply ignore those kinds of questions that bring to the foreground your broken relationship.
If yo... (read in full...)
I am insecure and it's eating away at my relationship with my BF...how do I fix stuff?
Q. Hi all. So, my boyfriend is 22 and I am 20. We have dated for about 4 months. No problems were found until back in late June of this year when he was sitting down and said my ears were big--but then that he liked them. Okay, before I continu...
A. 17 October 2010: So basically you only worry because you think you are not beautiful?
The truth is that you are being perfectly normal. While I don't think it is good to be hiding things from your mate, I think you can make the insecurity go away.
The simple so... (read in full...)
I'm so confused..what should I do? It's so stressful..why can't it be easy??
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up September 17. Its been a while since then. We still talk and hang out at school. I still have feelings for him, and he knows. My feelings for him are slowly going away. See before we were dating we were great friends,...
A. 17 October 2010: And you did a wonderful job of writing that out for us. I hope we can help you.
I want you to read the following sentence that you wrote:
"I wan't to be with my ex, and I want to be with the other guy I like."
My question is, how serious... (read in full...)
Does my mate really care about our friendship or not?
Q. I feel out with a mate a while back and have only just got the courage to talk to him again after wieghing up the pros n cons of the options. We basically fell out because he treated me different from the rest and hardly spoke to me and then i ...
A. 17 October 2010: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Okay, got that warning scream out there.
You sound like a very mature person for your age. I am sure you are smart enough to realize that you don't want to get caught up trying to read too much into text messages, p... (read in full...)
Friend asked me to homecoming but he has a girlfriend
Q. Ok, so i have this guy friend who i will have known 4 a year now this nov. i never really liked him until just resently. i found out he has liked me ever since he met me. im 15 and a sophmore he is 17 and a senor. the only thing is he has a girl ...
A. 17 October 2010: Oh Lovergirl,
You can go to homecoming (assuming he hasn't decided to take his now girlfriend). Realize that, if he goes with her instead, that he was into you as a plan B. If that happens you need to move on because he is only going to hurt you... (read in full...)
His sister wants to come stay with us and I don't feel comfortable with her
Q. I am living with my boy friend since last 4 years. We got engaged 2 years ago. Before getting engaged we both had our insecurities of whether our parents will approve this relationship (since arrange marriage is still quite big in our culture). We ...
A. 17 October 2010: It comes down to two things:
First, can you live with this sister and her child? If he said it was happening no matter what, would you stay or go?
If you wouldn't stay, that means you simply cannot live with them. At that point, you need to t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is hiding his new vices from me!
Q. Why does he keep things from me? We have been going on and off for a couple years now. im 16 years old, and right now, for the third time we are dating, trying to make it work. the reason we broke up was becasue i went to japan for a ye...
A. 17 October 2010: Talk to him. You don't need to be confrontational, but let him know that him not smoking or drinking are nowhere near as important to you as him being honest with you.
Tell him you love him. It works on guys way more than we let on...... (read in full...)
Will it work if we take it slowly this time?
Q. i had my first seious relationship when i was 15 till i was 22 and had my son, i have been single since which now is 5 years, i have had interest from males and had funtimes but never wanted to committ to them, i then on a unexpected night not ...
A. 17 October 2010: It already sounds like you have a good plan going this time. Take it slow, keep your head up and focused on how the relationship is working, not how happy or frustrated you feel.
Best of luck to you.... (read in full...)
My mother favors my niece over me!
Q. Why does my mom keep doing this to me? Ever since I was little she's always cared most about work. It's a family business, where shes an owner. My niece, my brothers daughter was born spoiled. I'm not saying I'm not, but she lives in a fantasy and ...
A. 17 October 2010: What is your situation? Do you work? Do you pay rent? I don't mean to throw this back on you, but if you are over 18 you are able to provide for yourself for the most part.
I am sorry that you feel your mother abandons you for work, and spoils h... (read in full...)
Will my parents ever move on?
Q. i married against my parents will and they have not accepted me till date. even after 4 years they are depressed about my marrige and their health is depleating.i have tried all the things to make them accept me but in vain. What should i do to m...
A. 17 October 2010: I am not terribly familiar with familial customs in your country, but I believe the advice here is going to be effective.
You need to settle in to your marriage and your relationship with your parents. You have to move past the hostility even if ... (read in full...)
How can I fix things with my boyfriend?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a 1 and 1/2 years. He's the longest relationship I've ever been in (the second longest only being 2 months). We're young (he's 22; I just turned 20), so I don't expect us to be super serious or talking about ...
A. 17 October 2010: You're in a tough spot. There are several things that are going on, including stuff that you may not be aware of.
- It is hard for a guy (or woman for that matter) to be in a serious relationship where they feel like they bring less to the tabl... (read in full...)
Is it possible to revert a break up after two failed trials?
Q. This is my story: I met him at job. Our relation started as good friends. After 9 months we got together. I never thought our relation may work due to the fact I have a daugther (5 years) and I am separated. I did not want to get hurt any longer but ...
A. 17 October 2010: I am sorry for how blunt this will sound, but the truth in your statement is that he has been trying for some time to end things with you. I don't have all the information so I don't know what it was exactly that made him turn cold on you, and I ... (read in full...)
Need info on divorce and bankruptcy in the UK
Q. I have a friend in the UK who is married, has a lot of debt, owns a house out right (jointly) who wants to leave her husband. She thinks that if she leaves her husband she will end up with all the debt (as it's in her name). Is this true? Here in ...
A. 17 October 2010: In the UK, debt belongs to the individual even in divorce. If their are joint assets, the debt can be weighed against those in bankruptcy.
In other words, she will lose her half of the house if she files for bankruptcy. The debt with her nam... (read in full...)
Girlfriend Troubles!
Q. Q: 1 i need help. i love my girlfriend so damn much, and yes i will admit i have fucked up a few times for example during the beginning of the relationship i had looked at a few girls and made some comments, it has now been 6 months since Ive done...
A. 17 October 2010: 2: She isn't sexually frustrated, she is frustrated period. Sex is a part of your relationship that ties into the rest of it. It is easy for a woman to be pleased when she wants to be.
If she is mentally/spiritually/emotionally satisfied by you, ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend Troubles!
Q. Q: 1 i need help. i love my girlfriend so damn much, and yes i will admit i have fucked up a few times for example during the beginning of the relationship i had looked at a few girls and made some comments, it has now been 6 months since Ive done...
A. 17 October 2010: 1: She sounds like she needs a break from you. Nothing permanent, and nothing that requires blame to be thrown around. I think both of you would benefit from a period where you weren't contacting each other, to help put both of your feelings and ... (read in full...)
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