I'm paranoid that once he saw me naked he was turned off.
Q. I met a guy and last night he stayed over for the first time. We had a couple of glasses of wine and we began to get frisky. However, when we got down to business he had a semi erection and couldnt get a full erection all night. Does this mean he ...
A. 11 November 2011: My experience with this is having things move too fast. Girls can freight so much on intimacy -- that it means commitment, undying love, etc. -- and if he's thinking that's where you are, when he knows he's not, then his brain doesn't let it ... (read in full...)
I hate my girlfriend's new haircut
Q. My girlfriend got a new hairdo the other week and I hate it, but I don't have the guts to tell her. When she said she was going for a haircut I thought she meant just a light trim like she always had but little did I know she would be coming home ...
A. 11 November 2011: Oh man you're hooped. I completely get your problem with it -- a new hairstyle can completely change things, and a change so drastic takes an eternity to work itself out. I've been there. It's not like you're old and married -- when you're young ... (read in full...)
Married 10 years and I've never gotten a blow job!
Q. Im married for 10 years now , ans never gave me a bj how can I change that she said she never will because she's not an animal she only likes one poaittion. She hates doge style as we'll how can I change that because im locking around now and don't ...
A. 9 November 2011: OK, I'm going to give you advice from someone who's been married much longer. Not from someone who's done better, but from someone who might know better.
The word is communication. Communication is key, and it's also something that gets horribly... (read in full...)
18 in love with a man 30 years older than me
Q. basically i am in love with a man who is 30 years older than me. i am 18. we have been 'friends with benefits' exclusively for 2 years but have a stupid habit of calling each other bf or gf. i went to visit him about a week ago and we decided ...
A. 9 November 2011: Hun, you do what you want. If you feel like you're in love with him and you want to carry on, then go for it.
But let's just add a 'get real' thing here. There is no future here for you. He's old. You're not. You're 18. At some point yo... (read in full...)
Is 'dry humping' morally wrong?
Q. We were making out and it just happened, we're both Christians and we want to wait till marriage to have sex, but is it wrong that we dry humped and we both enjoyed it? ...
A. 8 November 2011: There are a couple of different ways to tackle this. If you're taking your cues about what's right and wrong from your church, then ask yourself what your pastor/priest would say if you asked him. Chances are that he would say it's wrong.
More ... (read in full...)
Hubby gettin porn in emails!
Q. I am a 60 year old women who has been blind sited by my husband's use of porn and emails. As both of us worked and I never saw his work computer I had no idea he received emails from his "buds" that contained naked women, porn video's,s and m, and ...
A. 4 November 2011: Thank you for that follow up. Clearly I'd missed the issue the first time around.
For what it's worth, for men of our generation fewer things were more deeply shameful than masturbation. The shame is practically hard-wired. Yes, it's dumb to ... (read in full...)
Hubby gettin porn in emails!
Q. I am a 60 year old women who has been blind sited by my husband's use of porn and emails. As both of us worked and I never saw his work computer I had no idea he received emails from his "buds" that contained naked women, porn video's,s and m, and ...
A. 4 November 2011: I'm sorry, but I'm missing the problem here. Guys share stuff by email -- jokes, pics, vids -- we have a laugh, share things that are worth drooling over, whatever.
Before the internet they were faxed or photocopied. It's been going on sinc... (read in full...)
What are the signs sex is good for a man
Q. Just curious to get some answers from men. If sex is good...I mean REALLY good with a woman,how can us women know it was good without the guy directly telling us? What are the signs? I've learned a lot of the time guys don't directly tell ...
A. 3 November 2011: If he's wiped out to the verge of catatonic, that's a pretty good sign that it was very good.... (read in full...)
I can't get over the emotional affair with a married man
Q. Hi everyone. I am having a really hard time getting over a married man. I am in an unhappy marriage and this is why I was vulnerable to him. He led me on and then disappeared from my life. I had true and deep feelings for him during our frien...
A. 25 October 2011: It's understandable to look for comfort when you're in a bad situation. But as you've found, a married man isn't going to be the source of that comfort. Rather than looking outside, wouldn't it be better to deal with what's causing the pain in the ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to say ILY?
Q. So im back..again. I know someone is going to tell me that if I have to ask, then I don't, or am not ready. But I have to ask because I want to know, mostly from the lady folk, what you think she wants, and what she thinks. So me and my g...
A. 25 October 2011: If it's coming from the heart, it's not too soon and she will want to hear it. I think after three months any girl would be very pleased to hear that her smile lights up your world!... (read in full...)
I've only ever been with her, and our sex life is boring
Q. A little back story, I recently turned 23, about 5 years ago I started talking with a woman I met long-distance, she had been coming to see me for about a year, and then I went to see her. I stayed at her house one night, and they kicked her out.. ...
A. 25 October 2011: It sounds like you didn't plan to move in together, it just sort of happened. At 18 you probably didn't set out to get into a long-term relationship. It sounds like you're wanting to sow some wild oats, which isn't unreasonable. But pressuring ... (read in full...)
B/f wants to give me oral sex but I feel insecure about it
Q. Hi :) So just wanted to talk about a problem im having and hope you guys can offer some reassurance.. Iv been dating a guy for about 3 months now and its all going great. we've been sleeping together for about a month now and really care about ...
A. 19 October 2011: No need to be insecure about it. It's a tremendously erotic experience -- I suspect I get far more out of it than my wife does. Be it pheremones or whatever, the taste, the smell, and the closeness of it -- it's simply marvelous.
The others a... (read in full...)
Worried about visiting my mother without my b/f?
Q. Hi there! I need a little bit of help! Im a 21 yr old female at uni. I live with my boyfriend who I met at uni 2 years ago and we have lived together from practically the first time we met! I'm very attached to him and I know I love him lots, an...
A. 19 October 2011: You do sound conflicted. If you're worried that the comfort of hearth and home will keep you from going back to school and your b/f then you can't be as attached to him as you say. You might want to ponder that.... (read in full...)
How much did you regret not losing your virginity to your husband/wife?
Q. Did you regret not losing your virginity to the person you're married to? How much? I'm torn between waiting until marriage (for religious and mostly nonreligious reasons) and just going for it with whoever I feel like. But I don't want to one day ...
A. 17 October 2011: There were three others before my wife for actual intercourse, and another that was 'everything but'. I don't regret those experiences, although some were certainly better than others. But I've been monogamous for 28 years now, and the Freudian ... (read in full...)
What should I wear for my first time?
Q. right then, I suppose this is a question mostly for the guys, but I think some girls' opinions would help too; basically, my boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time, I'm a virgin and he's not. I trust him implicitly (which i...
A. 9 October 2011: Every guy is different, and honestly there's no one here who can tell you what your guy wants. As much as you're uncertain about how to go about this, you probably know better than anyone just what will work for him.
That said, costumes have nev... (read in full...)
Sex doesn't feel good -- is there something I can do to fix it?
Q. Ok so im 18 i have been sexually active since i was 15 but sex has never once felt good. I have never had an orgasm from penetration. Its kinda like im not feeling anything at all when im having sex. when I was younger i did what i think every child ...
A. 4 October 2011: I doubt there's anything wrong with you. More likely it's the guys you're with, and perhaps the nature of your relationships.
Satisfying sex is about so much more than penetration. Most guys have to be taught what works for their girl, because ... (read in full...)
I understand not being in the mood, but for 8 months??
Q. I feel that I've become unattractive to my girlfriend. We've been going out for two-years. At the start of our relationship, we were all over each other all the time. We would have sex basically everyday, sometimes two or three times (or more) ...
A. 4 October 2011: Something's definitely up, whether she's fallen out of love with you or something else. At your age a sexless relationship is very, very unusal. You're not happy about it, and rightly so. You're hardly being unreasonable -- on the contrary, ... (read in full...)
If your son/daughter came home and told you they were pregnant or got someone pregnant, how would you respond?
Q. How would you respond if your son/daughter came home and told you they either got or is pregnant? And I mean out of wedlock, at a young age. Around 16-18 years old. Last week, my mom told me she would be dissapointed in me, but supportive. It got me ...
A. 29 September 2011: I would try to keep in mind that there are worse things that can happen. Death, serious illness or injury --- those are way worse problems.
Yes I'd be disappointed. And if she were under 16, I wouldn't offer the option of keeping it, because ... (read in full...)
I can't get hard when we try to have sex for the fourth time in a night. Should I be worried?
Q. me and my girlfriend have been together about a month now and we have had sex multible times and it was amazing. ive never had a problem getting hard for her even after having sex with her to go again. but my question is after the 3rd time of ...
A. 29 September 2011: My first thought was to ask if you're bragging -- but then I remembered what it was like to have the opportunity/desire for a fourth round. You're not a machine. Even guys in their 20s eventually hit a point where they need to recharge. The t... (read in full...)
I'm always horny and don't want to have sex again!
Q. lost my v at 14 now im always horny.... i dont wana have sex again... wha can i do?? i dont have a vibrator?? help ...
A. 28 September 2011: Quite a few girls have posted on how they masturbate without vibrators. Search the site. And I think you're very smart to want to hold off on sex.... (read in full...)
How to deal with post sex mess?
Q. So this isn't really a question more a query!! I've just started having un-protected sex with partner (all checks done and accounted for!) I just wondered, how do other people deal with that post-sex-mess - lol I find it funny it goes f...
A. 28 September 2011: I think it's marvelous and to be revelled in. I'm happy to sleep in the spot -- if I wake up sticking to the sheets I know I've had a great night.... (read in full...)
Everybody loves my husband except me!
Q. Hi Cupids. My husband of 16 years is perfect by everybody else's standards. He is well liked by my family and friends, a good husband, a good father and best friend. I know that logically he is a good choice for me. He has stood by me during goo...
A. 28 September 2011: What do you want from life? That's a big question, and the answer is different depending upon your upbringing, your generation, your ethnicity ... I've had the opportunity to know people who were born between say 1915-30, who had expectation... (read in full...)
What would cause a man to lose all interest in sex?
Q. We are married 25 years ago. Our children are not living with us anymore, we have all the time, to have great sex. But instead of that, we have none. How a man can complete lose his sexual interest,like that? My husband says, he never thinks o...
A. 28 September 2011: I certainly don't know what's going on with him, or in your relationship. So take what I say in that context. My exclusive relationship with my wife, including the dating before marriage, is now coming up on 29 years, so I perhaps have som... (read in full...)
He likes me but I don't want it to be a rebound
Q. About 2 months ago now my boyfriend of two years decided he needed freedom. It wasn't a bad break up so we have stayed friends, and if anything have been little too close at times. i've stayed over his house quite a few times since the break up and ...
A. 16 September 2011: Well hun you've really got to choose. It really sounds like your ex is moving on, but is using you for a bit on the side. That leaves you in a truly ghastly position so long as you agree to cuddles and what not with him. Prevents you from ... (read in full...)
I cum too fast and its hurting my relationship!
Q. i use to be able to go 4 are 5 mins now all i hav to do is just puyt it in my girlfriend and i cum,use to not b like this ,what can i do its starting to hurt our relationship...
A. 16 September 2011: Is it new? A guy with a new girl is going to shoot too quickly. Give it time, it works itself out.... (read in full...)
I have concerns about my son dating a Turkish girl
Q. I've got two children, a 17-year-old son and a 22-year-old daughter. We went on a family holiday to Turkey last month for 2 weeks, and it was pretty much great - Mediterranean sun, beach, breeze, cool air, etc. However, you normally hear abo...
A. 16 September 2011: Turkey isn't in the EU, so presumably if the girl has ulterior motives it's to get a EU passport. But honestly if your son is asking you to go back and meet her family, it might really be love. Don't alienate your son by shutting down the idea ... (read in full...)
Whenever we hug boyfriend gets hard!
Q. Ok, so here's the deal. When me and my boyfriend hug, he gets a boner. I find it hilarious, but I never acknowledge it properly. More often than not, I'll just rest my hip against it and move slightly. Just wondering if there's anything els...
A. 16 September 2011: Ignoring it is "acknowledging it properly". A lady accepts the compliment (which his boner is, in spades) demurely. In public she pretends it hasn't happened, and doesn't embarrass him.
If things are private, and if your relationship has moved to... (read in full...)
Spots on my vagina after shaving?
Q. i'm not sexually active, but whenever i seem to shave my vagina its all fine then couple of days later i get like spots on my vagina and i dont know what they are or how o get rid of them any ideas?!...
A. 16 September 2011: OK, I probably have no right to say this, but why on earth are you removing your pubic hair if you've not in a relationship? Why are you bothering?
I know that hairlessness seems to be the thing for young people these days, though god knows wh... (read in full...)
I fantasize a lot about my gf kissing and having sex with other men, anything wrong with me?
Q. I'm 26 and she's 23. We've been together for almost 2 years now. Our relationship is great, we love each other and are serious. In fact I think she's the one. Thing is that early in our sex life I found out that imagining her having sex with other ...
A. 16 September 2011: OK, let's start by getting real about a fantasy. Fantasies are what work in your head and help to get you off. They have no necessary connection to the real world in any way. Get that straight in your head soon and forever.
There's a whole ge... (read in full...)
How can I tell my straight friend that I love him?
Q. Why is it hard to tell that person you love him? I'm a gay and he is straight! And of now he never answers my txtmsgs or my chat msgs. But I never tried to tell him that I care for him, because I don't want to risk our friendship and a...
A. 16 September 2011: Not everyone is cool with the same-sex thing. He may have figured out that you feel more than friendship and can't deal with it. You'll know better than us where he stands on that.... (read in full...)
Can masturbation cause health issues?
Q. Hi everyone my question is short. If you masterbate years and years, is there any disease you may catch or effects to body or genitals? My back aches hard. I dont no whether its my bed not comfortable when i sleep or its because of me masturbating. ...
A. 13 September 2011: If masturbation led to health issues, I'd be dead. Seriously. I've been doing it for about 40 years. Sometimes several times a day. I'm still alive, and still doing it. There are lots of risky sexual things you can do, but your hand isn't among ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend I cheated 2 years later?
Q. Me and my bf had been together nearly 2 years when i cheated. I was away on a school trip i was 18. On the last night things got out of control, loads of drinking from the students and teachers. I was really drunk ,I know its not an excuse. ...
A. 13 September 2011: I'm sorry, but I really think your guilt is out of hand. I understand that your values make you feel like you've transgressed terribly. But the fact is, you haven't. Not in any way. You received an advance from someone from whom you might care ... (read in full...)
Could someone please explain men's choice of porn? Is who they watch the 'look' that really truly turns them on?
Q. So, I really want to understand how a man chooses what porn to watch... my bf watches videos featuring MILFs and latina women, but I am a young (same age as him), Swedish (same nationality as him) girl! Does it mean he prefers older and Latina ...
A. 11 September 2011: He watches whatever scratches his itch. I don't know that it tells you anything more than that. There is a wide variety of things that turn most guys on, and you're not going to get all of those things in one woman. That your guy watches MILFs ... (read in full...)
My horrible first time experience haunts me!
Q. So me and my gf has been dating for 9 months now...we have intercourse a while back...it was my first time but not hers...when we did it we didn't use a condom i came in 3 seconds...yes i have a horrible premature ejaculation...luckily i pulled ...
A. 11 September 2011: One way of thinking about it is that it's a real compliment to the girl. You only shoot that fast if you're insanely turned on, right? So obviously you found her super hot.
You'll move on once you've had enough better experiences. I doubt th... (read in full...)
I hate being fingered!
Q. I absolutely hate being fingered. I do not know whether my bf is doing it wrong or whether I just don't like it. I've never heard of anyone disliking it, and it's all over porn. I don't like doing it myself to experiment, so I can't even guide my bf ...
A. 10 September 2011: First, porn is a terrible guide. There's precious little that's "normal" depicted in porn.
Even if it were unusual to not like being fingered (and I'm not sure it really is -- my wife doesn't care for it either), what matters is what you like and... (read in full...)
Morality Issue? To tell my partner, or not, that I received an unwanted, and rejected, advance on line?
Q. Here's a question for everyone, just curious: Let's say you get a personal message from an online community member (like you're on a forum with hobbies you enjoy, or whatever, not Facebook.) This message is from a person of the opposite sex and...
A. 10 September 2011: It's just spam. If we told our partners about all the spam we get, we'd never have time to talk about anything important. Ignore it.... (read in full...)
Is it strange that I get a hard on knowing she's with another guy?
Q. I am a Junior in college and have been dating this hot chic a couple of times. Her roommate doesn't care for me and has introduced "Jean" to another guy and they have started dating also. Every thing up till now is casual dating but I get a "hard ...
A. 2 September 2011: It's hardly unheard of. I wouldn't have reacted that way at your age, but there's a whole genre of erotica based on 'cuckhold', and there are countless people who find the whole threesome thing a serious turn-on. Sounds like you're OK with where ... (read in full...)
I don't want to end my 11 year marriage but my wife is not sure. She cheated
Q. i have been married for 11 years to the same women, i have never cheated on her. two months ago our fighting got really bad and i was ask to move out the house. then one night she ask to talk to me, i went over to the house where she told me she ...
A. 30 August 2011: I suppose the first question is do you think the marriage is over? You say you don't want to end it, so you're prepared to get past the fact that she cheated? Fair enough.
The next question is whether she wants to work at the marriage. If her h... (read in full...)
Help me convince my parents to let me visit him for the summer?
Q. I am currently in a long distance relationship with a guy I love with all my heart. I live in Maryland and he is in California, we have been dating for almost a year now and it really bothers me that we are so far away, but since i love him so ...
A. 26 August 2011: If you were my daughter, I'd insist on meeting his parents (and him, of course). I would want to know their attitudes about premarital sex. I would want to know just how closely you were going to be supervised.
I suppose it would be remotely... (read in full...)
Am I right to be uneasy about his request that I strip on cam for him? .
Q. well. i have know this guy as a good friends more than 2 years. he always compliment me on my hair and says you look good plus he keep saying don't cut them off. he lives far from me so finally i asked him to catch up soon on cam. I was surpr...
A. 26 August 2011: There are websites devoted to videos of 'ex' girlfriends who have stripped on camera. That's where your images are destined to be if you agree to this. No quality guy would ever ask you to do this.... (read in full...)
He truly doesn't turn me on sexually anymore. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and it feels like I've lost my interest in him sexually. We went hard and heavy the first 2 years but it went downhill from there. We have been going through problems which I think has some...
A. 26 August 2011: Right, you haven't made a committment, he's a boyfriend not a husband. You chose to live together, not to make a permanent commitment. So it was on a trial basis, and the trial hasn't worked out. So move on.... (read in full...)
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