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He truly doesn't turn me on sexually anymore. What should I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Health, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, *uvLost writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and it feels like I've lost my interest in him sexually. We went hard and heavy the first 2 years but it went downhill from there.

We have been going through problems which I think has something to do with it. When I come home, I intend to have sex with him but soon after taking a shower and getting ready, i get in the bed and for some reason i'm completely turned off.

I end up jacking him off at night but I'm never satisfied. I even find myself not liking him to touch me intimately. He's an extremely attractive guy but the thrill seems to be gone.

Should I try to get it back or should I just move on? If you think I should work on it then please give me some suggestions. Thanks!

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A female reader, beenybaby United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2011):

I'm like that with my fella who I've been with for 11 yrs, its hard, he always is up for sex and I'm not, but that is due to the way he is treating me.

He is drinking alot and coming home drunk as hell then talking to me like pants. Then expects me to sleep with him... So what I'm getring at is sit bk and think is there any problems in the relationship ? If yes then sort them out then start a fresh. This.might help xx

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia +, writes (26 August 2011):

Aunty Susie agony auntPossibly you've just got yourself in a rut, become lazy in the bedroom. When you don't like him touching you, could be you just don't want to become aroused, because you can't be bothered. Or, it could be over, and there's nothing there anymore. Try a romantic weekend away to see if there is any spark left, push yourself to try, so that you can know for sure whether there is any hope. Best wishes. xx

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A male reader, unknown2u United States +, writes (26 August 2011):

Right, you haven't made a committment, he's a boyfriend not a husband. You chose to live together, not to make a permanent commitment. So it was on a trial basis, and the trial hasn't worked out. So move on.

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A female reader, Veronika_R Czech Republic +, writes (26 August 2011):

You have to try hard to make things work.. perhaps change something in ned, spice things up, and talk to him about it. We all eventually get bored of a partner in bed, but if we leave each time we get bored of someone..we would never settle down. I am in relationship for 4 yrs now, and just like you the first 2 yrs were, extreme good sex, but I then the third year I wasn't so thrilled, and many times I wanted to cheat or have someone else, like a brunett guy with brown eyes instead of blond hair and blue eyes like my bf, or a different energy ..because sex is different with everybody, u feel a different energy and smell etc..but I also knew that if I leave my boyfriend, I will never find someone better than him..he is so good, so loyal to me and treat me the right way..I know one day he will make a good father for our future children and I am not ready to throw that away, not even for the best looking brunet guy out there. If the guy you are in relation has a good personality and he makes you happy outside the bed, by all means try to work things out..if he is not good in neither department..then maybe you should find someone else.. you have to think deep about this - 6 yrs is a long term relationship.. and I can tell you getting out of a long term relationship is not easy

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