Like what
she writes?
... Add *oHereKnowsWhen to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *oHereKnowsWhen a private message | | *oHereKnowsWhen's Ratings | |
| | *oHereKnowsWhen's profile:So here I am.
I have always been an 'Agony Aunt'. I don't even know why, so I suppose I am really an 'Accidental Agony Aunt'. I do like trying to give people sensible advice and hopefully make some difference to them. Sometimes I actually get this right.
I came across this website by accident and thought 'how wonderful'. I really wanted to be part of this.
I actually believe that I can take responsibility for how I see and feel about the various events in my life. It can get pretty difficult but I have learned that I can change things that make me feel not so good into something that doesn't make me feel quite so bad. This doesn't always work, but I try.
|
|
I was afraid my boyfriend was going to hit me last night. What do I do?
Q. Im still in my 8 year relationship and have hit a wall. i went to bed the other night quite late and because the cat normally sleeps at the foot of my side of the bed. i paid the cat some attention and laid down. normally when i do this he comes up ...
A. 28 April 2012: His idea that you have overreacted to this situation is absurd. You didn't overreact, he did. I think being handled like you were is a deal-breaker.
I am also curious about what was the real trigger of his outburst. If something else upset hi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is obsessed with my ex and is now asking me to compare her to my ex in every way, physically, mentally, sexually. Is this weird?
Q. girlfriend obsessed with exes, attacks me verbally. ive been with this girl for almost 11 monthes. some days she begins to think about my ex, she goes on her twitter page, facebook etc. . .then she brings her up at least 4 times a week telling m...
A. 11 April 2012: No, this is not weird. For some reason your girlfriend is feeling very insecure. She is looking for a lot of reassurance from you.
Don't compare her to your ex-girlfriend. You don't want to buy into her game. Buy her some flowers, take her out ... (read in full...)
Can anyone suggest some cute names for my triplets?
Q. 5 months pregnant, with triplets, all whom are believed to he precious baby boys :) any cute name ideas? My name is Heidi. Their father (who is out of the picture) name is Jon. We live in Texas. Trying to stick with a cute Southern theme :) I have a ...
A. 11 April 2012: How wonderful. You have an instant family. I don't have any idea about `southern' names, but I think they should have names that are in no way connected. Three wonderful, distinct boys names. From the names you have given, I would like Wesley, ... (read in full...)
Is it best just to stay away from my abusive mother?
Q. I am just writing this for some advice regarding my 68 yr old mother. I am a 46 mother of two and grandmother of one. -ever since i can remember my mother has always put me down - and is constantly nasty. If i ever question her ways she just replies ...
A. 10 April 2012: Definitely best to stay away and let things cool down a bit. You have enough on your hands with out a renegade mother biting at your ankles all the time.... (read in full...)
Should I just stop talking to him? Or am I being unfair that way?
Q. Hello! I need some suggestions... But I gotta tell my story first and I guess it's quite long. Well... First of all, my boyfriend and I met on the internet. We're from different countries and don't see each other too often, but if we meet then it's ...
A. 10 April 2012: Your boyfriend doesn't seem to know what he wants, and that makes it difficult for you to figure out if you want to remain in your relationship.
It's really very complicated with the long distance and boyfriend continuously changing his mind. Do... (read in full...)
Should I go after this girl who lives far away from me?
Q. right now I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I like this girl, I have a huge crush on her, we talked on tumblr (a social networking site) and I told her how I feel about her but she just politely told me that she only wanted to be friends as ...
A. 10 April 2012: You should follow your heart. You have been honest and straightforward with her and told her how you feel. I am sure she would appreciate that. If you can't do more than that and all she wants is friendship, there is nothing more you can do.
All t... (read in full...)
I slept with my husband's friend. I don't know what to do now
Q. I have been married for six years to my husband and we have had problems in our marriage, i was starting to feel unsecure because everytime we fought he would threaten to leave. I started to get to know my husbands friend and felt he was attractive, ...
A. 10 April 2012: You never cheat! But guess what... you have now. Let's get this straight. You have a fight, he threatens to leave, so you decide to solve it all by sleeping with his friend. Did you feel in any way better about your relationship (the one with your ... (read in full...)
Am I getting myself into an affair?
Q. Hi.. am 20 yrs old and I am in a relationship with a girl for about 2 yrs. Everything was very normal until another girl came into my life. I met her 6 months back and we became very close. My girlfriend kws about me and my friend. 2 days back my ...
A. 10 April 2012: You're easily fooled. Congratulations, you've been taken for a ride by a minx. The marriage proposal sure got you thinking `maybe I should be with her'. If you broke up with your girlfriend, would the offer still stand? The grass is always greener ... (read in full...)
Cross dressing has taken over his life
Q. This is my first time on here so, here goes, ive known a man for nearly 20 years infact i was a bridesmaid at his wedding he split up from his wife about 3 years ago - she was very unkind and decided to tell everybody that he was a cross dresser ...
A. 10 April 2012: Time for you to let go. There has been a sudden change in his needs, whatever they are and he is trying hard to set you loose so that he can get on with things he feels he has to do.... (read in full...)
I was afraid my boyfriend was going to hit me last night. What do I do?
Q. Im still in my 8 year relationship and have hit a wall. i went to bed the other night quite late and because the cat normally sleeps at the foot of my side of the bed. i paid the cat some attention and laid down. normally when i do this he comes up ...
A. 10 April 2012: There is surely much more to this than just the cat. You should be seriously be getting over a frustrated guy that reacts like that. I can't see an excuse for it.
... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend has a thing for his ex, who happens to be my best friend! What should I do?
Q. I think my boyfriend still has a thing for his ex, which is my best friend.. When ever I talk to him or text him he always mentions his ex! I try and change the subject but he just goes back to it. We have been together 4 day's but we have liked ...
A. 10 April 2012: Relax, it's only been four days. Depending on the circumstances under which he and his last girlfriend broke up, he may need some time to deal with it all. Don't expect too much just at the moment. The fact that he is talking to you about this means ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I can handle another break-up, should I stay or let him go?
Q. I need some help. So my "bf" and i were engaged but broke up because i sexted another man. I have appologized. I knew it was wrong. He just made me feel wanted because at the time my bf was not treating me all that well. Ive since gone to ...
A. 10 April 2012: It sounds like he is really trying but how many `off's and `on's can you deal with? This is not a very stable situation for you or your children. Before the next `off' perhaps he could be reminded about the effect this may have on his children ... (read in full...)
Married teacher is always staring at me....what should I think?
Q. OMG, I just can't figure what's going on? (my male teacher) He's married and he's 32-33 - ALWAYS stares ONLY at me in class for so long and sometimes I look back, but he doesn't turn away and stares deeper in my eyes, so I instinctively felt that he ...
A. 10 April 2012: I am going to assume that you (1) wear the correct school uniform, (2) you're paying attention in class, and (3) you always do all of your homework.
Perhaps he has a bit of a crush on you. However, keep in mind that he is a teacher and he should a... (read in full...)
How do I rise above this and accept my sister's boyfriend?
Q. Hi All. Okay so my problem is as follows: My sister and I are very close. I'm younger so I am or rather was given a lot of love and attention. (i'm 21) We have so much fun together; we fight, laugh, travel together etc...You get the pictu...
A. 10 April 2012: Ok, nothing drastic, you've got it. :) Just some thinking to do... You certainly have been the spoilt baby of the family over the years. Now the scene changes, big sis gets serious with a great guy, Mr A., who sounds rather nice and little si... (read in full...)
Telling your best friend you love her?
Q. Is it best to tell a girl you are in love with as soon as possible? Even if the girl is your best friend?...
A. 10 April 2012: If you are really in love with her why hold it back? Don't sit around waiting and trying to decide. What is it you're waiting for anyway? Tell her now.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my female friend that I have feelings for her?
Q. I have been friends with this girl since 2009 and I have feelings for her ,how do I tell her I love her with out ruining our friendship if she has no feelings for me...
A. 10 April 2012: Perhaps, instead of just blurting out how much you love her, you could let her know that you like her a lot. Give her some flowers. Tell her straight out. I would be surprised if she hasn't worked you out already.
How would you feel if she foun... (read in full...)
Why did he leave me when things were going so well?
Q. My ex boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for over 2 months but still saw each other every weekend and talked lots during the day by txt, phone, facebook and were really close and happy. He treated me like a princess and I treated ...
A. 10 April 2012: Antidepressants and alcohol are a bad mix. It seems like this guy has some tough matters to sort out on his own. With everything else going on in his life, a long distance relationship was perhaps just a little too much for him. He thought he could ... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have sex with another man, but he doesn't want to watch, he just wants me to tell him about it. What is this called?
Q. Can someone please tell me... " my husband wants me to have sex with another man, he does not want to watch but he wants me to tell him about it" What is this called? ...
A. 10 April 2012: In a word, it's called strange. Why not get him to do it with the same man and you can compare notes?
Is he feeling guilty for some reason?
... (read in full...)
Tight foreskin?
Q. So I have had the experience my whole life of a tight foreskin that won't retract over the head of my penis and it never really bothered me that much. Recently though I lost my virginity (with a condom) and during penetration the foreskin was forced ...
A. 10 April 2012: Without a doubt, this is a conversation you should be having with your doctor.... (read in full...)
She was a virgin when she met me but had dated a guy before me, I get so jealous because of this! Am I wrong? What should I do?
Q. I'm 5 years of marriage and i am my wife's first man, she was virgin before me i wasn't. The fact is she used to date a guy by distance and we have a lovely friend who is this guy parent! I get jealous everytime we have to go to a child party or to ...
A. 10 April 2012: You're becoming overwhelmed by jealousy. You could consider being in her place... she chose YOU! Her relationship (the little that there was) is over. It's just bad luck that you two still have a connection with this guy. But that's all it is... bad ... (read in full...)
He wants me to do a strip tease for him. I feel so self conscious about it. How can I please him and deal with my feelings about my body issues?
Q. My boyfriend and I are going away for a weekend, and he wants me to dress up, and give him a strip tease. I've dressed up for him before, but it makes me feel self conscious, but not overly so, because I pick outfits that cover up the bits I'm ...
A. 19 April 2011: You don't have to put yourself in a position where you feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, your boyfriend finds you attractive so you don't need to feel so insecure. You could tell him that you feel very awkward about performing the s... (read in full...)
Can I really trust him? Does he have a sneaky side? I found a message on his phone that has seriously upset me.
Q. i realy need someone's advice. i have been dating my bf for 2 years known him for 3. we were best friends before we start dating, and when we did, i felt as though i was the one who was more into the ralationship for about a year. after the firs...
A. 19 April 2011: That phone message is a deal breaker. So what if he was drunk. Does he think he has an excuse for treating you less than you deserve because he was drunk? Is that any form of respect? Can you trust him anymore? Leave him to his phone woman and ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that I've lost it all in my marriage!
Q. Hi Everybody I am in a delima, I am married and have two beautiful chidren. I am financially sucessful and give my family all they need and want (may even spoil them too much). My relationship with my wife for 8 years has always been up and dow...
A. 19 April 2011: This is a hard way to learn a lesson. Being able to talk is a good sign but if she is feeling emotionally spent then she will need a lot of space to repair herself. Give it to her. None of this necessarily means that your relationship is ... (read in full...)
I feel useless!
Q. Everytime my boyfriend is sad or depressed like....I feel bad or even useless when I ask him if he wants to tlk about it and he says no or i ask if i can help and he says "no". Of course i respect him,i dont try to pry into his buisness nor do i ...
A. 19 April 2011: You are doing a good thing to leave him plenty of space to repair himself. Let him know you care, but use that time to do some things for yourself. Don't let your life revolve around his moods. You are young and have a lot more life ahead of you. ... (read in full...)
I cannot have an orgasm with boyfriend, should I break up with him?
Q. Hi All, I hope I can get some advise on this. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. The relationship is fine but I have never once had an orgasm with him, I can by myself but not with him. The sex is just awful and always leaves me...
A. 19 April 2011: I can't blame you for being left frustrated. The bottom line seems to be that he gets his satisfaction but isn't at all concerned about you. I think you should break up, not because you cannot have an orgasm with him, but because he is complacent... (read in full...)
Partner wants to get married but I'm afraid of taking that step
Q. My partner wants to get married and I am afraid of taking that step because I’m so worried about the emotional and financial consequences of being married to someone who is divorced with 2 daughters and loads of responsibilities as far as that is ...
A. 19 April 2011: As far as divorces with children are involved, this situation probably won't get better for a very long time. I can understand the `young and in love' thing but you haven't said anything positive about your relationship with this man. Search deep... ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my BF, because although he's a great guy, the sex is awful. Is it my fault?
Q. I've cheated on my boyfriend and i feel really guilty. he is a great guy. he knows what i like, he treaats me to things all of the time, and he loves me and i love him. but when we have sex, he is awful. he just cant please me. he always comes no...
A. 19 April 2011: Yes it's your fault. There. Have you talked to him about the awful sex? You said `he knows what i like', but do you really think so? It sounds like the poor guy is totally clueless. That's where you should have educated him. Instead, you've ... (read in full...)
Pieces of skin growing underneath clitoris!
Q. Hi. For the past couple of months starting around December time I have noticed that underneath my clitoris/near the uthereal there are these 3 pieces of skin growing. And at the end of them they are white but the rest of it is skin colour. I have ...
A. 19 April 2011: They may be just skin tags which are common and wouldn't be anything to worry about, but you must go to your Doctor and find out for sure.... (read in full...)
What am I supposed to do, if his sexual dysfunction remains a mystery?
Q. What should I do, if my husband doesn't know, why he has no sexual desire for me? Also, why he is always losing his erection ,when we have finally sex.He says sex is wiped out from his mind... Where I'm confused, that he went to the doctor,and h...
A. 19 April 2011: I have seen so many adverts on TV about this lately that I don't think this problem is uncommon for men. I don't understand what he can possibly mean when after sex he says `sex is wiped out from his mind'. The one thing I know about this is th... (read in full...)
Does he like me or not?
Q. I've recently met this guy who I'm starting to fall for I can't stop thinking about him .. Hes even giving me butterflys and I get really nervous when I see him .. I haven't felt like this before , not even with my exs, having him around gives me ...
A. 19 April 2011: Wow, what a wonderful way to feel. I think he's just trying to get your attention and teasing you a bit to work you out. You won't be a `d#*k' if you go with the flow. Sounds promising.... (read in full...)
She is very quiet when she has an orgasm, is this because I am not very good?
Q. hi i was just wondering. I have been with my partner 7 years. And well she is so quiet when she cums. Is this normal or am i just not giving her good enough ones? I always please her before penertration as she says she cant cum through this method ...
A. 19 April 2011: Why aren't the two of you talking about this? Despite what you think, not every girl screams when she orgasms. Sex is much more than just a quest to get her to make noise. Her reaction is not normal or abnormal, it's just her. If you really want to ... (read in full...)
I feel like the world's worst mother. I feel as if I'm losing my sons. How can I address this situation and make things better?
Q. My marriage fell apart 8 months ago and I couldn't afford to take care of my 4 kids alone, so my husband has our 3 sons. Our 2 daughters are with me living with my parents. I'm not handling it very well, because I miss my boys and the guilt is doin...
A. 19 April 2011: Don't be silly, you are not the world's worst mother. It's perfectly understandable that you feel upset and guilty for not being able to have your sons with you. You feel responsible for the situation you are in. Your sons haven't spent enough time ... (read in full...)
Messy breakup is making me question myself, what is happening to me and how can I make it stop?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend with the intention letting her roam about for a while before I went off to college, to let her see if she really loved me enough to stay with me despite the fact that I was away. (As an ulterior motive though, there was ...
A. 19 April 2011: I don't like your hidden motive for letting this girl `roam' and I wonder if this created a bad karma for you with what has come to pass since. The girl seems to have had it tough as well. Anyway, that's all in the past.
There is a lot of hurt hap... (read in full...)
Do I masturbate too much?
Q. Is once a day too much to masturbate for a 15 year old girl? ...
A. 19 April 2011: Is once a day enough? Just relax and enjoy yourself, you've nothing to worry about.... (read in full...)
Is it good or bad that my friends are so protective of me?
Q. Heyy my friends have recently become very protective of me because i was used by this guy which really upset me. The other day the guy who used me came and talked to me and they were very quick to be stop him, one of them was being nasty to him ...
A. 19 April 2011: You are lucky to have such good friends to look after you. What your friends were doing is called `saving you from yourself'. He's used you once and they are making sure it dosen't happen a second time. Your friends are wonderful, they need a big ... (read in full...)
It takes so little to get me horny!
Q. This is not so much a help issue, but more of a why. I keep getting horny and turned on over the slitest of things. I only have to think of porn or sex, or even less than that and i'm in the mood. I was with someone for 5 years, and i had no sex...
A. 19 April 2011: Perhaps your sex drive has increased because you are happy now that you are out of the relationship that wasn't doing you any good. I don't think there is anything wrong with you or your desires. It sounds like you are living well and looking after ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to talk to a guy everyday that you just met?
Q. I just met this guy two weeks ago via an online dating site and he seems like a good catch. We share a lot of the same interests and characteristics, and we plan on meeting for the first time this week. Hence the question above, we communicate ...
A. 19 April 2011: Of course it's normal. You've both just met and it seems obvious that you like each other. Don't play games with him, go with the flow. But when you decide to meet, it's good sense to make sure it is in a safe place like a coffee shop or whatever.... (read in full...)
For the girls: What is the best approach for a guy who wants to dance with you in a club?
Q. Hey everyone. i really need some tips about how to get a girl dancing with you in a club? that would be cool if all the girls in DEARCUPID would answer this question since i guess they would know better what works with them :D im kinda a good loo...
A. 19 April 2011: Wow, what a question. People have written entire books on this subject. As you have realised, you are playing a statistics game: sometimes you get rejected and sometimes you don't, and all of this can depend on a lot of things that may well be out ... (read in full...)
Should I take the initiative with a woman I like?
Q. There's a woman I like and we have gone out together a couple of times. I make a point of keeping in touch with this woman through e-mail and phone calls. She seems responsive to me and even encourages me to stay in touch, and she seems happy to ...
A. 19 April 2011: Stop dreaming, forget about looking for ``signs'', get out there and be straight forward with her. You can't know what she is thinking. There is no other way I can think of to know if she really likes you as you would like her to. All the best.... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity? And are birth control pills effective?
Q. how can i get to know whether i have lost my virginity??/is there any symptoms??? 3 days ago me and my boyfriend was engaged sexually and few drops of blood came out from me. im not sure whether i was really went through an intercourse? as the ...
A. 19 April 2011: It sounds to me like you have had intercourse. Birth control pills are effective but you have to remember to take them. The side-effects, if any, can vary from woman to woman, so talk to your Doctor if you are concerned.... (read in full...)
How do I stop him doing this without hurting his ego?
Q. Basically, I love the guy I'm seeing, he's funny, charming and just lovely. But I have a problem, when it comes to 'getting to it' he is like really forceful, like when he plays with my breasts he squeezes them really tightly and if I'm honest i...
A. 19 April 2011: Just explain to him, straight out, that he is hurting you and offer him some suggestions on how to `get it right'. Make him feel like he is in control. You shouldn't feel that you can't talk to him about this and if you don't talk to him, you will ... (read in full...)
I want to build on my friendship with her, how do I do this despite the problems in the past?
Q. i really really really like this girl a lot!!! she knew that i liked her and since then she changed her attitude towards me. She didnt talk to me as much, she hesitated to sit next to me in class and lots of other things, i basically didnt get her ...
A. 19 April 2011: Be honest and don't mess her around. It won't put you in a very good position. Forget about the prom and other things from the past and get on with the future. It's important to tell her what you are thinking.... (read in full...)
| *oHereKnowsWhen's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oHereKnowsWhen has
added them and they have added *oHereKnowsWhen!
|
