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He wants me to do a strip tease for him. I feel so self conscious about it. How can I please him and deal with my feelings about my body issues?

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, *aliMoore writes:

My boyfriend and I are going away for a weekend, and he wants me to dress up, and give him a strip tease. I've dressed up for him before, but it makes me feel self conscious, but not overly so, because I pick outfits that cover up the bits I'm mostly self conscious about.

My boyfriend thinks I'm gorgeous and says I shouldn't be self conscious of my body, but I am.

I'm slim but have stretch marks on my hips, legs that I'm very conscious of them, from when I was bigger.

I know that if he likes my body. So I shouldn't have anything to worry about.

But the thought of awkwardly dancing and stripping in a sexy way, under pressure, whilst being looked at is embarassing.

Any ideas on what I could do? I'm mostly very self conscious of my stomach and thighs.

Has anyone been through a similar experience? Please help, we're going away this easter weekend!!

Thanks in advance! Xoxox

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A male reader, serenity80 United Kingdom +, writes (19 April 2011):

Put your insecurities aside and do it. Your boyfriend loves every bit of your body or he wouldn't want you to do this. By not doing it you are just making him feel like there must be something wrong with the way he sees you. Do it.. you'll find it fun and kinky, I'm sure.

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A female reader, feelingsputtogether United States +, writes (19 April 2011):

feelingsputtogether agony auntI guess all women feel this way when it comes down to our body. I know I felt self conscious of my body after I had my first child especially becuase I have a c-section scar. But I learned that no matter what the person you are with will love you no matter what. If your BF says he loves you just the way you are and that you look good then you've got nothing to worry about it. There are classes wehre you can learn to do strip tease and it helps you not feel so self conscious. Another thing you can do if you like to try is instead of a light being turned on why don't you put candles, that helps too. Then you will have candle light to show and hide those points you're not so comfortable with. Plus it adds a little romance mood. Next time you should ask him for the stip tease. Good Luck and focus on having fun and a romantic get away with your boyfriend.

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A female reader, ToHereKnowsWhen Australia +, writes (19 April 2011):

ToHereKnowsWhen agony auntYou don't have to put yourself in a position where you feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, your boyfriend finds you attractive so you don't need to feel so insecure.

You could tell him that you feel very awkward about performing the strip tease or you could just dress up for him and see what happens. Why not test yourself in the privacy of your bedroom in front of a mirror. You may surprise yourself.

Remind yourself that you're beautiful.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (19 April 2011):

dirtball agony auntSometimes it's ok to say you're not comfortable with something. Really, you just dance around a little while taking off your cloths, then you tease the heck out of him while he isn't allowed to touch you. YOU control this kind of situation, and it can be very empowering if you let it be.

Relax, and do what you're comfortable with. Perhaps looking on the internet for ideas wouldn't be bad either.

Also, when he tells you that you're beautiful, it means you are.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

Hi hun. I know exactly how you feel my boyfriend is the same with me, says he loves my body and doesnt care.. Im very self conscious about my body, I never used to be because I was slimmer, a better shape and felt confident. But since I started going out with my boyfriend things have went a bit down hill in terms of my body image as we eat out alot etc. I mean im not fat iv just gained some extra weight and its so noticeable to me but he says that its not to him and im fine the way i am. I have stretch marks on my hips and on my thighs aswell and im self concious about them too. My boyfriend has asked me on a few ocassions for a strip tease and i just couldnt do it and he does understand that i dont feel comfortable doing it. Tell your boyfriend how you feel about the strip tease and why you feel under pressure, im sure he would understand. MY boyfriend understood when i told him i didnt feel comfortable doing it. why not buy sexy lingerie that maybe covers your marks and stomach but not fully, like a sexy chemise? Something that will make you feel a bit more comfortable.

Hope this helps!

xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

If your boyfriend likes your body then you shouldn't worry about it, I know it's embarrassing but if he likes you the way you are then you should learn to like yourself too. Just look in the mirror and target the points of your body that you hate and then tell yourself you look good. Boys tend to be honest and if they don't like something about someone they will say so, so you've really got nothing to worry about. He wouldn't ask to see you do a strip tease if he didn't like what he was seeing, so just have fun and ignore the parts of your body you don't like. Just think to yourself 'he likes my body'.

Good luck and have a great time on your weekend away.

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