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... Send *oftlyCaress a private message | | | *oftlyCaress's profile:I am a 53 yr old woman who has 3 grown daughters and 7 grand kids . I work full time and very distant from my family seems like no matter what i try i cant please any of my girls which are all grown . I try to not let this bother me and not sure if it is just me or letting anyone get close to me or vise versa but I can tell you I feel alone I like going camping and kayaking and there are times I wish i had someone who enjoyed the same things I do but no luck . I am Married but it has fallen apart because we are so very different filing for a divorce asap . I have lost both my parents and on 1/1/2019 a still born grand daughter not sure how to deal with that or anything else right now I guess Im just grasping at straws I feel as though the past 2 yrs my whole world has been a nightmare and keep wanting to wake up. I know I am not the most beautiful or perfect person but at this time I am so very very lost mentally and emotionally .. Just grasping for my happiness back again ! I WANT TO LIVE LAUGH And LOVE AGAIN !!! |
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And oh, the kids and all the crappy divorce war, I just don't know how to go on...
Q. How long can a marriage hold on? Do most marriages fail? I keep reading over and over again too many miserable stories and mine is on the rocks too, after 25 years. I have an unloving, gloomy husband... No affection. I'm so scared, I feel I should ...
A. 14 January 2009: Sorry about you being unhappy. I am going through the much dreaded Divorce after now 26 years and it is a very scary thing to do when you are used to depending on someone else for finances and everything else but I can tell you if it is as bad as ... (read in full...)
Living in the past...
Q. How can i move on in my relationship, when i still think of an ex all the time, i feel like im living in the past.. ive been with my current partner for 4 years, everything is good..but every so on i will go back and think of an ex of my nea...
A. 14 January 2009: You just have to let go !! I was doing pretty much the same thing with my ex husband of 26 years. I started seeing a man but it was so hard because I would continue thinking about my ex and one day I was sitting and started thinking HOW CAN I DO ... (read in full...)
Why am I always falling for "taken" guys?
Q. Why is it that the guys I like either already have girlfriends or get them as soon as I realise I like them? Is there something wrong with me?...
A. 14 January 2009: Nothing wrong with you at all you are a teenager and have crushes it happens all the time but what you need to do is back up and take a breath and one will come to you . Always protect your heart and shield your feelings from falling to fast and so ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this mystery caller?
Q. Hallo, i think u can help. I am a single guy of 19. Um so shy n introvert. Had never been in a relationship before. Well da thing is for last two weeks i ve been getting friendship texts n miss calls from an unknown number. I did never reply cause ...
A. 14 January 2009: well kinda hard to be interested in her if you dont really know her and be very careful as to not give out your personal information to someone you dont know there are som real weirdos out there but at the same time you could chat back and forth on ... (read in full...)
What do I do?
Q. I have been "just friends" with this guy for almost a year. We do everything together. And he at my house every night. We are really just friends nothing romatic at all. Although I want there to be more, he refuses. He says why can't we just grow ...
A. 14 January 2009: It might be that he has a problem with getting a erection and is ashamed of it .Or might be that he isnt sexually attracted to you or any woman but isnt willing to step out about it .Dont however think bad of him because he doesnt want sex just ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he just invite me?
Q. My guy invited me and my daughter to come over and hang at the pool. I told him my little one was in school he just said "ok"...why didn't he just invite me at that point? Weird? ...
A. 14 January 2009: Not really weird Maybe He thought that it would be nice for her to come and swim while you 2 hung out and chatted .Maybe He Likes kids not in a bad way just as in a fatherly way and likes spending time you both as a family there are many ... (read in full...)
My husband is very irresponsible
Q. Hi, I have been married for a year now. Our marriage was against my husband's parents wishes. We fought even while we were dating but after our marriage its gotten worse. My husband is a very irresponsible man. I literally run the house. He always...
A. 14 January 2009: Well seems to me he needs to buck up and be a man !I have also been through a relationship where I had to do everything and had no help .it wont work if he doesnt put something into it you will always struggle and never get anywheres However if he ... (read in full...)
I am having terrible trust issues in my head, I know he is the one in my heart but my head and heart can't seem to agree.
Q. ok so here is my story. I have known my boyfriend (SK) since 1993. I met him when my son was a few months old. The first time I met him I knew he was the one for me, however I thought i was doing the right thing marrying my baby's daddy. we all ...
A. 13 January 2009: Im sorry you are having trouble and its hard to try and figure it out but the chances are he still has feelings for this person and wont end it completely with her so there for you are going to be the third wheel or she is one I would let him know ... (read in full...)
Trust him... or trust him not?
Q. Hey. Well, Story goes my current boyfriend and I have been dating for a real long time and I still don't trust him. He cheated on me once. He was a real player. But that was years ago. A few years later we got back together. (now dating for a yea...
A. 13 January 2009: Well i know after one cheats it is so very hard to trust .I can tell you this if you dont let go and give him a chance your relationship wont work at all . I know it is scary But give him a chance to prove himself and see where it goes if you see ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy gets so protective of his phone..??
Q. When he gets a phone call he goes out of the room... even though I can hear that it's his friend's voice, a male's voice... he looks at me to see if I am listening and then goes out of the room.. What is up with that? I don't question him about ...
A. 13 January 2009: Well said most the time when a guy keeps his phone with him all the time and gets secretive about his conversations on it there is something going on maybe not another woman but could also be he and his friends are up to no good . I would ask ... (read in full...)
I troubled her and didn't realize it!
Q. my girlfriend is not talking to me for last 12 days...... she asks about my well being from our common friends...... she says she is fedup of living her life driven by me......... she has even stopped sending me messages ...total cutoff from me...
A. 9 January 2009: If you havent called her to check on her during the 12 days she probably thinks you dont give a dang about her But yeah you should try to call and comfort her but to be honest If I was her and you knew I was hurting and I hadnt heard from you ... (read in full...)
We've broken up and I'm hurt
Q. i have just ended things with my boyfriend, we had been together almost three years, and in that time he has cheated on twice. I am very upset about the breakup even though i am the one who made the choice, when i told him, he accepted it and did ...
A. 9 January 2009: Sorry about the hurt you are feeling it will get easier you just have to take it one day at a time and find something you enjoy doing and go to it because it does help.While you think he isnt hurting if he cared for you any at all he is hurting ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a BBW, how should I have sex with her?
Q. So i need a little help. I have a girlfriend who i love and adore. We have been together for about 3 months We went to have sex soon, but im not sure how to go about it. My girlfriend is BBW. I need some advice on how to go about having sex with ...
A. 9 January 2009: The same way you would if she wasnt a bbw she has the same thing just a little more to love your blanket in the winter your shade in the summer size has nothing to do with how you have sex with your girlfriend .She is still a woman .Just let her ... (read in full...)
He says its not cheating when he sees a prostitute!
Q. my husband of 17 years at the time told me two years ago that he had been with a few prostitutes, he estimated about 20. We went to counseling and he went to sex addiction anonymous. This past fall I found a diary that noted two more sexual ...
A. 7 January 2009: Yes it is Cheating Very Much So!!! You are married and when that is so you should be with just each other not someone you pay for not someone who gives it free not someone you take it from and if he is doing that then yes he Is Cheating ! Sit ... (read in full...)
My b/f can't say I love you
Q. Dear readers, I have a question but first let me clarify, I am happy and love my boyfriend. I have no intentions of leaving him. That said, here we go! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a bit over a year and the only problem (in my head...
A. 7 January 2009: Mine Is The other way around He says he loves me and there are lots of times where he isnt very good at showing it . I think you are right for wanting to be told he loves you if you never hear it then how are you to know . So easy to show so hard ... (read in full...)
Do men experience a sore penis after or during sex?
Q. Do guys experience a sore penis after a couple of sexual exercises as well? I've had that a couple of times before and my bf's thing would be fine but this time he told me his penis was sore when we had to continue sex! I was also feeling some pain, ...
A. 3 January 2009: Well my guess would be use lubrication as you might not Have been wet enough .Or take it a little easy on it he also might want to go to the dr and have the ole boy checked out might be a infection or something like that .... (read in full...)
Am I doing something wrong dating him I'm 17, he's 27
Q. Well I am a 17 year old girl soon turning into 18 and the guy whom I am in a relation is 27 year old. And only thing that strikes in my mind is that am I doing anything wrong? As the matter of fact love is blind. But still I think there is too long ...
A. 3 January 2009: I dont think there is anything wrong with the age gap you have if you are fixing to turn 18 . dont worry about what others think and if you Love him go ahead do so freely and dont feel guilty .... (read in full...)
Ok to cum inside doing anal?
Q. Hi friends, I have very nice experience with my GF ,I just tried anal with my GF it was going good I always released outside but last time when I has I was not able to take it out I don’t y? can any one tell is there any problem if I cummed insi...
A. 3 January 2009: it wont hurt her to cum inside during anal sex .It probably is more fulfilling to both when you dont take it out because it takes away from the orgasm dont worry everything is ok ..... (read in full...)
Spice up the sex life?
Q. How can i spice up our sex life if he won't even touch me, it seems i'm the one doing all the touching. How do i get him to do more foreplay...
A. 2 January 2009: God sounds like my situation I am just giving up myself Im saying screw it . Men Who needs them . Im over it Good Luck with yours God knows you will need it ....... (read in full...)
Cousin chasing her and he molested her years ago
Q. Hello, i need some advice.um 16, Well i m wid dis gal for 18months,she s 15.she was molested by her cousin when she was 11.that cousin apologized to her after some day. Now da boy is back.i hate him like anything.now he s doing things to impress my ...
A. 2 January 2009: She does need help dealing with it but if she is willing to forgive him and he is after nothing more then friendship and family wise then you need to back up and let them be . Now if it was more then just friends or family and he wanted more then ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and really want a baby, I'm just nervous about the pregnancy part.
Q. Hey, im 14 and my boyfriend is 15. We both are really ready for a baby and actually have been wanting one ever since summer of 2008. I know for fact i am ready for the taking care part of it, but not so sure about the pregnancy part. I love kids and ...
A. 2 January 2009: a_decent_1 i think when he wast telling her to go for it he was being sarcastic not really telling her to go for it ..... (read in full...)
Says he loves me but won't break up with his girlfriend
Q. Im 16 and he is 21. That isn't the problem though. He has a girlfriend. I have spoken to him about it and the only thing he says is you know how i feel about the situation. He claims to love me but then he doesnt want to break up with his girlfriend ...
A. 2 January 2009: Do you want to be just the other woman ?? It isnt very good feeling . Is he going to just lay you down and pick you up at his choosing ?? I dont think I would live like that you are young and there are plenty of men or guys out there and if you ... (read in full...)
I feel ignored by my friends, should I leave them and find new mates?
Q. recently my so called mates don't ask me if im coming out, or want to stay and they are always together that doesn't bother me it just annoys me that they don't ask me anymore, and because im being excluded. also recently i asked one of them if ...
A. 2 January 2009: Well you spend time with your man give them time if they are true friends they will come around and start missing you . Just dont get yourself down keep your head up and let them see you are living no matter what .Sometimes people are jealous and ... (read in full...)
Should a married person hug their ex?
Q. i feel really annoyed with my husband because he hugged his exgirlfriend and did'nt come over and say this is my wife her name is**** but turned and hugged her back just like they're old friends. Question should a married person go up and hug their ...
A. 2 January 2009: Well im going through divorce and my hubby has a new g/f and whenever we see each other he always hugs me bye and we always say I love yall to each other .We was married almost 26 yrs .He g/f doesnt mind and The man I am seeing doesnt mind either ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and really want a baby, I'm just nervous about the pregnancy part.
Q. Hey, im 14 and my boyfriend is 15. We both are really ready for a baby and actually have been wanting one ever since summer of 2008. I know for fact i am ready for the taking care part of it, but not so sure about the pregnancy part. I love kids and ...
A. 2 January 2009: There is plenty of time in life to have a baby right now your still one you need to enjoy your life first of all get a education also ..If you was going to have a baby now who would take care of it the state? Your parents ?? I mean come on ... (read in full...)
I see how my lying has pushed my wife away- is it too late?
Q. please help. I am about to loose my wife of nine years due to my constant lying. the lying wasn't malicious . we have 3 kids and i want to to get this fixed she has not made up her mind. i have hurt her and she says she does not know if she can ...
A. 2 January 2009: You are doing the right thing going to therapy but most of all you need to prove to her that you can change . Its easy to say your going to but doing it is hard and making her believe it is even harder . Just start being honest dont hide anything ... (read in full...)
Having an affair with a married man, what do I do?
Q. i've been married for 20 years and fell out of love with my husband and now having an affair with a married man which i know he loves his wife and probably will never leave her.I've know him for a couple of months but whenever were together there's ...
A. 2 January 2009: Well first of all if he truly loved his wife he wouldnt do it! And 2nd of all to mess with another womans hubby is a no no ! Ive been there with my hubby and can tell you we are now going through a divorce it is a very hurtful thing to find out ... (read in full...)
Wife cheated while wearing her wedding dress
Q. My wife cheated on me. The guy she did it with wanted her to wear her wedding dress while she sucked him off and while he fucked her. She did this for him, and let him cum all over her dress. I'm not sure what i should be feeling here, but its not ...
A. 2 January 2009: That would be my First Questions Also How Do you Know this? Did she tell you or what? And if she did this then she has no respect for your marraige. I would ask her why she did it and also I would let her knot that it isnt something you will just ... (read in full...)
How do I let go of the ex?
Q. Well after a messy end to my 4 yr relationship, I started seeing a lovely guy I'd met through friends. He treated me great, we got on well, and things were looking good. The my ex came back on the scene causing mayhem. And the guy just couldn't ...
A. 1 January 2009: No Matter what it is hard you have a past together I am going through the same thing and it is hard as heck but what I have found to help is to busy myself doing thing and to not sit around and dwell on him or the past take up a hobby meet new ... (read in full...)
I think he's a player but he's so nice!! All confused!
Q. I'm 42 and was dating a 39yr man for about 6-7 weeks. I fell for him really hard - and he knows it. The problem...he moved to my state from another about 7 months ago and legally still married however to a woman in another state, supposabily they ...
A. 27 December 2008: Yes in deed a player in need is a player in deed he doesnt know what he wants almost like he wants his cake and to eat it too... I think I would ask him what he does want and why if he didnt want a relationship did he make you feel as if he did. ... (read in full...)
How do I break the news of a divorce to my kids?
Q. How do I tell my kids ages 8 and 3 that I am divorcing their father?...
A. 27 December 2008: Its Not easy to tell them but i am going through it also and the thing we did was tell our 3 girls 24 / 21 /11 that we was getting a divorce because we wasnt in love no more that we loved each other but only as friends.. That no matter what we was ... (read in full...)
Did he pop my cherry? Or am I still a virgin... please reply!!
Q. okay so last night (christmas) i went over my bestfriends house...(its a boy) and we were kissing.....so it led to touching then it led to clothes coming off...next thing i know he's on top of me....i'm still a virgin (i think) so when he puts it in ...
A. 26 December 2008: Sorry Babe He took your virginity so no more a virgin once you let someone invade your vagina its all over . You are way young to be having sex you really need to think this out .. Life has just begun for you and you would be just in a heap ... (read in full...)
Christmas eve, hav girlfriend but alone with the cat...
Q. help, ok, now it's year three in the relationship and we still don't live together mainly because I would have to let her 26 year old daughter live with us, which I won't do. She's old enough and has a boyfriend who still lives at home too. Here it ...
A. 25 December 2008: I dont blame you I wouldnt have her daughter in the house either she is a grown woman and needs to do for herself .And As for you and her spending Christmas together there shouldnt be any reason you cant spend it with the family and her . you ... (read in full...)
My marriage isn't working... Help!
Q. hi Cupid, I am 36 years of age, asian and have been unhappily married for 6 years. I married at the age of 30 out of conveniency and desperation as I had never fallen in love with anyone. I never thought I would meet my soul mate. My parent...
A. 25 December 2008: IM Sorry for your unhappiness but I think if you are unhappy then your parents should want what is best for you..Everyone deserves happiness and if you arent happy then you need to get out of the marriage .Its only going to get worse and ... (read in full...)
Is my husband on the down low?
Q. I have been married for 2.5 years and have not had sex for 17 months. I am trying to determine if my husband is on the down low. Does anyone have any signs I can look for? Or help me understand why we have not had sex for 17 months since I have ...
A. 25 December 2008: Well there is a few signs you can look for like not leaving his celphone lay around and deleting numbers. coming home and going straight to the shower without stopping to say hey or keeping his distance even if he does .Coming in and going ... (read in full...)
Mother in law from hell
Q. Can anyone give advise? My mother-in-law has been nasty, spiteful and spread rumors about me since before my husband and I were even married. The last argument has spiraled out of control and I am now painted as the family-splitter. This is because ...
A. 24 December 2008: Wow Sounds Like My Ex Husbands Mom God Rest Her Soul. But she was evil and always wanted to bully me and because I stood up to her she hated me. I want to tell you stand your ground, don't let someone run over you, mom or no mom. I think it is a ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to open his heart and really love me?
Q. I have been with this guy for 3 months it is like we have known each other in a past life. He told me he loves me but how do I know he means it from his heart? He was with this person for 9 years, she passed away about 9 months ago.. before me there ...
A. 23 December 2008: I Can tell you you cant make someone love you either they do or they dont and you really cant make them open up.. its something that just happens..You will drive yourself crazy trying ..And if its only been 9 months that she passed away its ... (read in full...)
WHY doesn't he want to have sex with me?
Q. Soooo I got this boyfriend who last year went to Arizona for three weeks. When he left we had no idea of how long he would be gone. Here's the kicker we DID NOT have sex before he left and we had super quick morning sex the morning after he got ...
A. 23 December 2008: Well you might try asking him again what the deal is if there is someone else or if he prefers the same sex partner or something else see if he will open up to you if not and he still doesnt have sex with you its not good there is going to ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with my brother and need to tell my family.
Q. My brother is really cute and I have been havng sex with him. One time, we had too much to drink and we kinda forgot the condom. Now I am pregnant and my brother and family don't know. I am really scared and don't know how I'm gonna tell my family I ...
A. 23 December 2008: You Need To Talk to someone in Mental Health this isnt natural no matter how cute or sexy your brother is incest is a horrible thing .. And to bring a baby into the world who was from a relationship of incest is even worse they baby could ... (read in full...)
Do I stop all contact with my ex?
Q. Hello, I need some adise on whether or not I should cut contact with my ex, who I left a couple of weeks ago. Her ex wanted to get back together and she still had feelings for him and didn't know who she wanted to be with, so I ended it because I ...
A. 22 December 2008: I am going to tell you this i am going through a divorce after 25 yrs of marraige well 26 in march and we are still friends and if we can do that im sure you can be friends with her .. give it a try you wont be sorry ... (read in full...)
In love with a man who is already married
Q. Dear friend i need some good advise from you all... I had make up my mind to leave a married man that i fall in love with.. Let me tell you this story. I met someone a year and a half and we get alone so well... After half year dating ,he conf...
A. 22 December 2008: Trust me you need to let him go if he hasnt left her by now he wont I went through this with a man did me the same way and made promises and never kept them. In the end I moved on and he lost her ... (read in full...)
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