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Do I stop all contact with my ex?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello, I need some adise on whether or not I should cut contact with my ex, who I left a couple of weeks ago. Her ex wanted to get back together and she still had feelings for him and didn't know who she wanted to be with, so I ended it because I didn't want to be messed around over christmas.

She is now back with her ex and is already having doubts about him. He messed her around in the past and seems to be starting where he left off. She has a very low self esteem and gets very paranoid about people leaving her, due to her first partner who she was with for 6 years, she even told me that she has issues and that I should just forget about her because she isn't anything special.

I really like her a lot and I want to still be around for her when she needs someone to cheer her up, but its killing me when she tells me how her boyfriend pampered her all weekend cos she was sick. I honestly don't think it will last long between them and I still have feelings for her.

Do I stick around talking to her on IM giving her support, or just vanish for a couple of months and see if they are still together? I would like to add that she always contacts me first on IM, i'm not some jealous stalker who won't let go.

View related questions: christmas, get back together, her ex, jealous, my ex, self esteem

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I meant didn't mention him sorry, heads a mess atm.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Cheers for the advice, but what should I do about when she talks about "him"? Should I just tell her I have feelings still and it would help me a lot if we did mention him?

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A female reader, TannedDoll Brazil +, writes (22 December 2008):

TannedDoll agony auntStick around talking to her on IM giving her support. You might get a chance and end up with her :)

TannedDoll 3

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A female reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (22 December 2008):

SoftlyCaress agony auntI am going to tell you this i am going through a divorce after 25 yrs of marraige well 26 in march and we are still friends and if we can do that im sure you can be friends with her .. give it a try you wont be sorry

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A male reader, StudentOfLife Canada +, writes (22 December 2008):

StudentOfLife agony auntThere's no reason why you shouldn't be friends with her if it doesn't bother you much.

I much prefer the "Let go" approach, i get to move on faster that way.

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