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... Send *r.Ed a private message | | | *r.Ed's profile:What qualifies me to help people is definately a great question to answer. I have been around the world, had several relationships, been married once, divorced, suffered from addictions, actively involved in church, experienced loss of loved one's, have children, in a current engagement and have a passion of love for people and their well-being. I know what hurt is and I know what love is. I have a strong opinion and am not biased towards sexual, racial, nor ethnic backgrounds. I am not suprised at any question and have alot of EMPATHY towards most people. Sympathy comes from thinking you understand; empathy comes from definately understanding.
I grew up and currently live in Kansas City, Missouri. I'm about as mid-west as they come without the accent. I developed a good self esteem over many years of hard work and know that I'm a good person.
What makes me tick is that I thrive on helping anyone who ask's for help and giving the shirt off my back to the friends I've made throughout the years. I'm very cool and layedback while still being a musician, songwriter, artist and a DADDY.
I am currently engaged to a wonderful woman who adores me as I adore her. We actively communicate each and everday to see if there is something that we are missing, wishing or needing to develop in our efforts to better our relationship. Any relationship is worth the hard effort and work you must put into it to get happiness out of it. I am working everyday to fullfill her dreams, goals, ambitions, fantasies and spirit toward love; all the while she works on mine. |
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Haven't seen my guy in 10 years, but I'm still in love with him...
Q. Almost 10 years ago, I met a man. Basically although I have had very bad relationships with other men, this relationship was only sex but we got along great, We would talk about friends and family and he would drop what he was doing if I called. B...
A. 21 December 2005: I believe in that type of love and I have a few friends that I would point out that are the same way. Let's just say for the sake of discussion you run into him again. Things have changed alot over 10 years. You may still love him and maybe he loves ... (read in full...)
I still can't stop the internet gay porn thing...why am i so weird and what should i do?
Q. Alright I am fucked up, From what I can remember I always seemed to be attracted to girls, but I never had much luck with them growing up. I seemed to always end up in the friend zone or for being to nice in jr high and high school, i figured it ...
A. 21 December 2005: Harshbutfair said most of what I was thinking. I think you should stop the porn and find a mental thought conducive to your sexual satisfaction. I don't think you should bridge the gay connection thing until your absolutely conviced that women are ... (read in full...)
My mum reckons I shouldn't go out with either boy!
Q. Hey well first off Merry Christmas! Well i talked to the boy in my last question but the day i did i found out some one else likes me and the one from my question boy 1 my mom says im not aloud to go out with and boy 2 my mom says it owuldn't be ...
A. 21 December 2005: P.S. Merry Christmas to you 2. ... (read in full...)
My mum reckons I shouldn't go out with either boy!
Q. Hey well first off Merry Christmas! Well i talked to the boy in my last question but the day i did i found out some one else likes me and the one from my question boy 1 my mom says im not aloud to go out with and boy 2 my mom says it owuldn't be ...
A. 21 December 2005: I think depending on your age maybe you should do whatever you think your heart tells you too. But, if your under 18 I would suggest you listen to your mother as she still needs to help guide you. Besides I listened to my mother on alot of issue ... (read in full...)
My friend let on about my secret relationship!
Q. Dear Cupid, This lad and I have kind of a secret relationship going on, we've not done anything but there have been talks that we would. So my best friend, who was telling me about her boy trouble so I told her what was going on. She said she woul...
A. 21 December 2005: Frienship is such an amusing thing. The one's you tell not to tell always tell. The one's you don't know will never tell because they don't care. My parents always told me and it still holds true to this day "If you don't want someone to know then ... (read in full...)
We have 4 kids together and I've never been with another man... but he treats me so badly!
Q. Hello, I really need advice to my problem. Pease aunties help me. I have been with a guy for 13 yrs now. We both met at age 14 (we both the same age) and my mom heard that I was with this boy and threw me out; however being so young his mom took me ...
A. 21 December 2005: Wow Auntie B and anonymous hit it right on the head with what I would have said. First of all let's get one thing totally clear here. NO MAN EVER HAS THE RIGHT TO HIT A WOMAN unless she's a man disguised as a women and he's being beaten up. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the father of my child won't stop his constant lies!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We are expecting our fisrt child. My boyfriend lies about things and I guess he doesn't think I know or I won't find out. It's just gotten to the point that I don't believe anything that he ...
A. 21 December 2005: I only agree with one statement Irish said. Seek some guidance from family and friends. The rest is not an option. First of all it took two of you to make this baby and secondly YOU will not be the deciding factor alone, in this babies future. Yes ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the father of my child won't stop his constant lies!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We are expecting our fisrt child. My boyfriend lies about things and I guess he doesn't think I know or I won't find out. It's just gotten to the point that I don't believe anything that he ...
A. 21 December 2005: I only agree with one statement Irish said. Seek some guidance from family and friends. The rest is not an option. First of all it took two of you to make this baby and secondly YOU will not be the deciding factor alone, in this babies future. Yes ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the father of my child won't stop his constant lies!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We are expecting our fisrt child. My boyfriend lies about things and I guess he doesn't think I know or I won't find out. It's just gotten to the point that I don't believe anything that he ...
A. 21 December 2005: I only agree with one statement Irish said. Seek some guidance from family and friends. The rest is not an option. First of all it took two of you to make this baby and secondly YOU will not be the deciding factor alone, in this babies future. Yes ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for a guy who is on a "break" from his girlfriend
Q. Hey, I like this guy who already has a girlfriend but the thing is he's on a break with his girlfriend. We spend a lot of time hangin out with eachother and we kissed after a long while. I don't know what to do, cuz i really like him and i know that ...
A. 21 December 2005: Friendship turning to love. Tough question kinda. Think of this did the friendship end because of the kiss. NO! so where do you go from here. I think talking to him about it and telling him that you really desire to go to the next level with him is ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about him being irresponsible?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. He says he does love me and can be gentle and thoughtful. There is another side to him. He is in his thirties but can be 'one of the boys' when he is out, looking at other women, making comments and ...
A. 21 December 2005: You should first tell us as readers your age and then we could assume that we could give advice. As for him he sounds normal but too much drinking would not be a good thing. Responsible men are for the most part. Irresponsible around friends ... (read in full...)
Can I love someone but date someone else?
Q. hi, i broke up with my boyfriend and planning to see someone else. but i can't forget my ex. our's was a mutual and a friendly break up. no hard feelings.i feel this new person is nice and don't want to hurt him. can i love some one and date som...
A. 21 December 2005: Dating is such a loose term these days. If you only want to date this guy then why would he get hurt. Explain to him your exact intentions with him and there should be no hurt feelings. Guys like to be very direct about if there is a possibility of ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she loves me as a friend but does she really like me?
Q. i am in a very complicated relationship. i dont know where its at or where its going, my girlfriend cant seem to make her mind up about me, our relation ship has been on and off for about the last 5 months.one week were going out the next were ...
A. 21 December 2005: Your not the one making all the mistakes different people take different amounts of time to get over relationships. Go slow and have fun with her. Treat it as though you love spending time with her but you have other things to do and she will come ... (read in full...)
Will highlights damage my hair as I've been told?
Q. hELLO, this is a really stupid question, dont even know if it will be posted. Will highlights damage your hair, I've got curly light brown hair, and want to put highlights but have been told that it will damage it, and never be the same? Is it b...
A. 21 December 2005: No if it's done no more than twice a year it won't damage your hair, however if done improperly it will damage your ego. If you need to have it done have it done professionaly and the I would recommend mayonaise as a conditioner for one time. It ... (read in full...)
Am I asking too much of my partner to give me more compliments... Is it right to ask him to change?
Q. Hi everyone, I have an otherwise good relationship with my partner. We have been together for two years and living together for 18 months of that. He says he loves me and I believe that he does, but he is not very good at articulating his...
A. 21 December 2005: Well this is going to be interesting because I've been waiting for this question. I in my current relationship, tell her everyday 3 things that helped me. One is that I love her Two is how special she is and Three how beautiful or pretty she is. I ... (read in full...)
A little thing like my phone being off causes an argument with my boyfriend...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for going on three years. He been accusing me of cheating and not trusting my every move. When we're together it's cool sometimes, but most of the times we argue about anything. It seems to me that he's not happy. W...
A. 21 December 2005: I agree with only a few of the statements from Susie Q. Maybe he is looking for an excuse to breakup with you. It sounds rediculous but the third year is the hardest. I oftened wondered why my relationships that were serious never went much past ... (read in full...)
Trying to win the heart of the girl I want. Should I go all-out on New Years Eve?
Q. There's a girl I'm crazy about and was told by her friends that she likes me. We get on like a house on fire. But when I asked her out she said it was too soon, cause she had just broke up with someone. But she wishes she was ready. Then we kissed ...
A. 21 December 2005: I don't think you really have to go all out for the event. I do think that if you really truly want this girl then maybe you should try this one. She doesn't want to wreck your friendship (so obviously your funny). Use your friendship to your ... (read in full...)
I think he's my soulmate, but he says he doesn't have feeling for me anymore!
Q. Hi! I'm in a serious relationship for almost 5 years. Just a few months ago we broke up. He said he's fed up with my attitude, that I'm a nagger and other stuff. Later on I found out that he's involved with another girl and that girl was the pers...
A. 21 December 2005: In short the real answer to you unfortunately is NO! It is not worth the amount of effort you would have to put in to go to the phillipines to win back his love. I'm sorry for your loss but there are millions of guy's in this world that would be ... (read in full...)
Can't deal with the thought that my wife cheated and had unprotected sex with someone else!
Q. My wife had an affair and I am struggling to get the graphic images out of my mind. We have worked through most of the problems in our relationship that lead to an affair and continue to communicate better than in the past. The biggest part tha...
A. 21 December 2005: Infidelity, is at it's finest the one thing that will seperate most relationships. It's a cruel way to punish the person who is wronged you or ignored you in some form or another. However what exactly is your responsibility now? You did say you want ... (read in full...)
My guy has to get permission from Mum before he can see me. Is this a deal-breaker?
Q. I am 18 and have been dating a guy of 19 for seven months. I believe he is my one true love. His mother is possessive and controlling, and he has to ask her for permission to see me. She often says no. He lives around the corner and this is killing ...
A. 20 December 2005: No you shouldn't let him go. If you love him then help him understand that he needs to start SLOWLY breaking the bond between a mother and a son. She is probably jealous of you and or threatened by you because you may take away the love of her life. ... (read in full...)
When my girlfriend is more horny than I am, she guilts me into sex, then says "forget it!"
Q. Hi, basically my girlfriend is horny 24/7 and always wants sex any given moment. I like sex, but I'm not as horny as her! Whenever I'm not in the mood and I'd much rather sleep, I just say "I don't feel like having sex tonight babe", or somethin...
A. 20 December 2005: Age does play an important factor in a persons sex drive. Whenever your a teenager your harmones are in mass production and your level peaks. Alcohol and drugs also can change a person's sex drive i.e. ectasy. As a woman turns somewhere around mid ... (read in full...)
How can I forget about my wife's past?
Q. My wife has had vaginal intercourse (about 48 times with three guys, 6+12+30), anal intercourse (one time each with two guys), and/or oral sex (about twenty five times from four guys) with six men other than me. She has given manual and/or oral sex ...
A. 20 December 2005: This actually happened to me and I had a hard time getting over it until I finally relized one day that I was no saint either. Specifics can haunt you but only if you let them. First don't dwell on those things they were all done before you entered ... (read in full...)
Any help for my girlfriend's sore vagina?
Q. my girlfriend's vagina is always sore the morning after us having sex, despite using lubricant. this in turn is leading to a decrease in our sex life. is there anything that can be done for this?...
A. 20 December 2005: Seriously if it that sore maybe you should slow down and try making love not tear her up. My girlfriend say's she's sore and I believe her so I go slow and let her rest up. Give her time to get healed. Here's another great tip. Try using oral sex ... (read in full...)
Is there really such a thing as "Love At First Sight"?
Q. I'm 32 and divorced and in a relationship but.....a guy I met a few weeks into my new relationship keeps popping up in my life. I'm sad to say that I have cheated with this guy twice in the last few months and then we called it off. However in the ...
A. 20 December 2005: Think about this young lady if you really think that you two will ever really trust each other when both of you have cheated on your current FLINGS then you are sad. Once a cheater always a cheater. So as for love at first sight sure I believe in it ... (read in full...)
So many little suspicions... I think my girlfriend is cheating on me!
Q. Hi, I was wondering if someone could give me some advice as i think my girlfriend is cheating on me. First of all she won't let me see what she is talking about in msn to one of her friends - girly talk! If I try, then she flips out. Also...
A. 19 December 2005: I think the way you describe it she is cheating. There are rare instances that one would not cheat and have condoms on hand. Hmmmm. oh yeah, if they were teaching sex education. When is the last time you had sex in the sleeping bag? Not for weeks ... (read in full...)
My bf's looking at my attractive friend is just a coincidence. That's what he says, anyway...
Q. Dear anyone: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for quite a while now. We love each other so much, and it's as if we understand each others' emotions. This is the thing: When we are together, and we are in public, or with ...
A. 19 December 2005: I don't just happen to coincidentally look at women. Either I do or I don't. I might once in awhile look at another just for the sake of admiring her beauty however I am very devoted towards my fiancee and spend my time looking at her. Calling ... (read in full...)
She says she still loves me but can't move back in because I'll "never change"!
Q. I have been with my g/f for over 2 years, we argue a lot, but I feel that we do love one another. The other day we got in an arguemnt over the phone. She didn't come home, and went to her dad's house. On the phone she keeps saying "You won't change. ...
A. 19 December 2005: I agree again with KellyO. give it time. Maybe you did make some mistakes and rushing back in will only draw out those mistakes and add to them. You care O.K. we figured that out with the letter now ponder what went wrong and ask her for her help. ... (read in full...)
Can't feel good about my post-childbirth body, even though my boyfriend still says I'm sexy. I just don't feel sexy!
Q. I recently had a baby about 4 months ago. I appreciate what my body has done to bring my baby into the world but I just feel really unsexy now that I droop and hang and have all the stretch marks. My bf says he still finds me sexy but he looks at...
A. 19 December 2005: Right on KellyO, even us men joined Gym because our bodies need to look better for someone else. Problem is that shouldn't we all be the one's our bodies are good enough for?. Fitness is another issue. Good luck. Ed ... (read in full...)
He does look at porn, and he lies to me about it. Should this be the end of things?
Q. Been with my bf for over 3 years. Anyways I feel really insecure in the relationship. He looks at porn and always perves at other women when we are out in the public. I have told him about how this makes me feel yet he still does it. I was just won...
A. 19 December 2005: I think rebecca is right you should try her suggestion but honestly he needs to come clean with HIS problem. I watch porn once in awhile and I don't lie nor hide this with her. Once a month we watch it together to just add flavor to our ... (read in full...)
Falling for him quickly- so do I tell him I want more than a friendship?
Q. Hi, i'm a 21 year old gay guy and am so confused with regard to someone i'm falling for... He's a friend, but a new one who i met a month ago. He's recently out of a very long term relationship, and the break up was very messy as he found out he w...
A. 19 December 2005: If you really love yourself then you would want honesty to be a priority in your life right? Then how honest are you when the two of you don't tell each other how you really feel. Start the relationship off right and be honest. You two all ready ... (read in full...)
Help! I've never experienced sex with a man, so what's it really like?
Q. hi im 16 going on 17 and i am with this guy. i am very close to him and i think its time for us to get a little more sexual. i have never really expierienced a lads body before and i dont really know my way arround. my main question is wha...
A. 19 December 2005: Hmmm.... Ok let's just say this first and foremost. Sex is the best thing ever IF AND ONLY IF 20 conditions are met. So maybe you had better think 3 or 4 more times before commiting to it. Experience doesn't make you a good lover. Trusting your ... (read in full...)
Part 2- Can we be more than friends or has she gone off me?.
Q. Hi again, this is the second time I have posted the first is under "Can we be more than friends or has she gone off me?". Anyway I took the advice I was given to give her space and let her decide for herself and it sort of worked so thanks. We were ...
A. 19 December 2005: Well you made it this far; why in the hell would you give up now. Look things in this world don't happen on your time nor your terms. You write the movie and someone messes up the script. Boy meets girl, boy get's girl then what are you going to do. ... (read in full...)
Dating one of his good friends..but I am crazy about HIM!
Q. During the summer i met this guy dara* and from the moment i saw him i was crazy about him..we drifted apart and now im going out with one of his friends mark* im not happy with him. im friends with one of dara's cousins and she told me that he ...
A. 19 December 2005: The only thing in life worth living for is your heart. Follow your heart and know that it will not be all roses but if you stay with someone your not happy with it will be all thornes. I would at minimum break up with Mark because your not happy. ... (read in full...)
We have a long distance relationship...I feel as tho I am going into deep water that I do not know--I'm a bit scared and not confident. Help me
Q. Dear Cupid---I am 77 and a friend--male on the internet is also 77--we have talked every day on the net for 3 years -and I suppose -even tho we have not met we are fond of each other--he is beginning to talk in an amourous way about loving me and ...
A. 19 December 2005: Dear lovely woman. You had a wonderful marraige and it sounds as though your starting to fall in love again. Really? some of us could only hope to fall in love again. I finally did after 11 years of being divorced. I hope you do too! I don't think ... (read in full...)
I'm shy and quiet-am I ever going to get a boyfriend?
Q. Help! my twin sister has recently started going out with her first boyfriend. Before we have both been single and not had a relationship. This has got me down a lot as although I fancy a guy I am really shy and quiet and too scared to ask him out ...
A. 19 December 2005: I agree with Irish but I will add that once I did try this. I knew this girl would never ever say no to me. So I practiced in the mirror what she would say over and over and over. I knew exactly what I was going to say as soon as she said NO, NO, ... (read in full...)
He loves me and his ex gf.. but now he's confused and he's not sure what he wants.
Q. I'm in love with a man that's in love with me and another woman from his past. He says that he's confused and he's not sure what he wants. He loves me but he loves her to. This has been going on for about 2 months. About 2wks ago he told me that he ...
A. 19 December 2005: First of all YOUR friends are there for a reason, so you made a mistake; we all have. Do you think they would throw a victory party if you dumped him. NO! so talking to them is your ego getting in the way. They should not be judgemental as they have ... (read in full...)
About my depressed ex-do I wait for him to come to me, is there anything I can do?
Q. I need to get in touch with Mr.Ed he gave me alot of insight into my problem with my depressed ex. What do i do now, wait for him to come to me, is there anything i can do?...
A. 19 December 2005: Dear just as depressed as her X. First of all think of your letter as HE IS YOUR X. Next the question is do YOU want him to be your X or do you want him to be back? Depression for him is probably perminent. Wanting someone in your life is not ... (read in full...)
I want to date a guy that has a gf-why am I leading on this other guy then?
Q. i am writin back 2 my question that i hav just posted(why am i datin my bf of 3 months..)it isnt about sex i do actually want to be in a real relationship i just dont know how 2 end it. i admit that when i cheat on him i don't feel guilty until i ...
A. 19 December 2005: As I have stated before You are still a player in the game. Personally you should give up all dating and leading on until you decide to be honest with yourself. If you cannot love yourself how will you love anyone else let alone taking another ... (read in full...)
My confidence is gone-I can't seem to talk to boys anymore..help!
Q. hi x x i just cant talk to boys anymore and im 14! i used to be a real hit with all the boys in my village, until i had a fight with this other girl for some stupid reason and i lost. i was too embarresed to ever show my face in that area again ...
A. 19 December 2005: So you lost a fight and now your self confidence is gone. Well let's see First this is a great question although I really don't think this has to do with boys. If you don't feel like violence solves anything your probably smarter than you think. All ... (read in full...)
I hurt his feelings..is there anything more I can do, or will I just make things worse?
Q. About two weeks ago I broke up with my fience of 3 years. I am 21 and he is 22 and we are both in college. Seven months ago I had moved across country for school. Just before I left he proposed and I accepted. When I was away he would call or te...
A. 19 December 2005: If you really want to let things be better then just let him go on about his ranting and raving about this. He's acting this way because he is not getting his way about this. He'll definately change his tune in a little while of missing you. You ... (read in full...)
Do I just let him go and hope that he gets his head sorted and come running back?
Q. My bf of 3 years recently kissed another girl, we broke up! We hadn't eally been getting on for the past 6 months, well not not getting on its just we were both too busy for a relationship! Anyway I love this guy, I really really really adore him...
A. 19 December 2005: Did you see them kissing or did he tell you they kissed? The reason I say this is MEN do stupid things but if you caught him it's definately over. If he told you about it then maybe he is really sorry and won't do it again, however telling the one ... (read in full...)
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