Like what
he writes?
... Add *r.Ed to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *r.Ed a private message | | | *r.Ed's profile:What qualifies me to help people is definately a great question to answer. I have been around the world, had several relationships, been married once, divorced, suffered from addictions, actively involved in church, experienced loss of loved one's, have children, in a current engagement and have a passion of love for people and their well-being. I know what hurt is and I know what love is. I have a strong opinion and am not biased towards sexual, racial, nor ethnic backgrounds. I am not suprised at any question and have alot of EMPATHY towards most people. Sympathy comes from thinking you understand; empathy comes from definately understanding.
I grew up and currently live in Kansas City, Missouri. I'm about as mid-west as they come without the accent. I developed a good self esteem over many years of hard work and know that I'm a good person.
What makes me tick is that I thrive on helping anyone who ask's for help and giving the shirt off my back to the friends I've made throughout the years. I'm very cool and layedback while still being a musician, songwriter, artist and a DADDY.
I am currently engaged to a wonderful woman who adores me as I adore her. We actively communicate each and everday to see if there is something that we are missing, wishing or needing to develop in our efforts to better our relationship. Any relationship is worth the hard effort and work you must put into it to get happiness out of it. I am working everyday to fullfill her dreams, goals, ambitions, fantasies and spirit toward love; all the while she works on mine. |
|
How can I resist the temptation of an affair?
Q. Hi, I could really do with some advice. I'm in a happy long term relationship , My partner is older than me and has a strong personality . We have the odd disagreements about things but nothing out of the ordinary. Our sex life could be better b...
A. 17 January 2006: Try talking to your current partner about what it is that is lacking in your sexual agenda. Tell her honestly what your want; what you desire, and see if maybe she could find a way to accomodate you. If (and I suspect she does) trully love you; your ... (read in full...)
Is cheating contagious?
Q. Hi... If a boyfriend constantly has friends that are either cheaters or way younger than he is, is this a warning of what our relationship will be like in the future?...
A. 17 January 2006: Absolutely NOT, and I hope you don't ever think that just because his STUPID friend will jump off a bridge; he will. I value your question, but your boyfriend better know the difference between stupid is as stupid does or find a new one.
Since... (read in full...)
I hate the anxiety and paranoias I feel about my relationship..can anyone advise me?
Q. I am 27 and have been together with my girlfriend for 5 years. We are very much in love and care for each other dearly and often talk about getting married. Recently I have been getting paronoid attacks about her. That she might be losing interest ...
A. 17 January 2006: I used to have the sort of attacks and they don't get easier. So later in my relationships; I dove into self assertion and healing. I joined a gym and started reading books. I took a good hard look at what I was doing. The bottom line to my problem ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right think by breaking up with this "kissing" guy... Or not?
Q. Two days ago, exactly, I broke up with my boyfriend after finding out that he had cheated on me. Yesterday I went to his house to get my shoes and sweater. While I was there he was crying, and telling me how much in love with me he was. He said that ...
A. 17 January 2006: I know when I read your letter the other day I was considering all your options. I know that it must have hurt alot. I know that when I caught my first fiancee' in bed with my friend I was devestated. Through the years I've come to grips with the ... (read in full...)
Why don't the men who use porn...ever think about the pain and hurt they can cause their partners?
Q. Why is it that a lot of men dont seem to even think about the hurt they can cause their partners by using porn. Dont they stop to think how it would feel to them if we used pictures of young hunks to get off especially as they are changing and ...
A. 17 January 2006: I personally don't look at porn often, but jayhva has brought up and interesting point. My fiancee' loves to sleep and she hates to be bothered while she sleeps. I like to stay up and watch a few movies or whatever. I have asked her several times if ... (read in full...)
Is this a creepy infatuation I have... Or is it for real?
Q. Ok, I know have known this girl since as long as I can remember. We grew up in the same church. Anyway, we hung out on occasion, but never that much until I joined the Marines. Then it seemes like every time I would come home on leave, we would hang ...
A. 15 January 2006: Flipdrew, it's never easy in a long distance relationship no matter what the circumstances are. Is it possible for you to just be patient and have a good time with her whenever you can? I know that I would try to just remain friends with her and ... (read in full...)
My recently-"out" boyfriend had sex with a female friend twice in one night! Would he do it again?
Q. I'm gay and my boyfriend and I have been together now for almost three months. He was in the closet until a little over a year ago and in high school he dated girls to keep appearances up and had sex with one or two of them. He grew up in a chu...
A. 14 January 2006: I'm sorry your feelings are hurt but you seem to have forgotten one thing. He's bi-sexual! Your right in the assumption that the majority of gay men do not get turned on by women. Physically, they are the same as the rest but not built the same as ... (read in full...)
Does this mean there is a chance?
Q. i have posted a couple of questions on here with some great advice coming back. so thanks to everyone who has helped. just wanted to ask the females really(but the males are quite welcome) that if you say to your ex that you still love them alot and ...
A. 14 January 2006: The one thing that is certain in this life is "Never say Never". You pose a great question! Is it over or do you need time to regroup. Lot's of couple's have gotten back together later in life and had extremely successful relationships. They say ... (read in full...)
He never told me that he was married, so I never suspected a thing! He just says he didn't want to hurt me...
Q. About a few months ago, I found out that my boyfriend is married. He doesn't live with this woman, so I never suspected anything. I was under the impression that they just had a child together. He tries to justify lying to me by saying that he ...
A. 14 January 2006: I'm sorry that you found out the way you did; that I am sorry for. You also stated that you got the "impression", leading me to believe you knew about some "other" person in his life. Your question to be accurately answered needs alot more details. ... (read in full...)
Online, we can talk for hours, but there are too many silences when we talk on the phone...
Q. I'm really really interested in this guy who is around my age. (turning 16 this year) We've been talking since New Years Eve and he's been soooo great! I've confessed that I liked him, and he did the same. It's come as far as not even eating b...
A. 14 January 2006: Hiding behind a computer screen where no particular person can get to you; if you don't let them; is the easiest form or communication. There's ton's of things to just talk about while your on the net. When your in person now that's where the fun ... (read in full...)
Happily married for 11 year with two beautiful kids... But I am stir-crazy about the guy at work! Should I tell him?
Q. I am attracted to this guy at work. i have dreams about him and when i see him i can not help but look him over.his arms, chest,fingers,tight wranglers.and just imagine what it must be like to have him. He drives me crazy. why can i not stop ...
A. 14 January 2006: You know most of these letters that come in are about the one's who got cheated on. You on the other hand is all about your wanting to. I hope for your sake you don't do it because it's not worth it. For a peice of a$$ you could potentially throw ... (read in full...)
If a husband has cheats more then once, will he do it again?
Q. Dear cupid,if a husband has cheated on me more then once, will he do it again?...
A. 14 January 2006: Even if he doesn't, the pain that you have endured should tell you that you can't trust him again. So where do you go from here? To a new guy that appreciates what your giving him. Obviously, your husband doesn't have any respect for you if he did ... (read in full...)
Did he drink a love potion, or what?! I never thought he'd fall for me this hard!
Q. Is it common for a guy to fall in love with a girl who he initially wanted a no-strings-attached relationship with? I’m referring to a relationship in which they are the male and female version of each other, so they never fight. They agree about ...
A. 14 January 2006: I think it's very common to fall in love and get sappy. Initially, he came in with a "got nothing to lose approach" and when that happens your eyes usually are open. You tend to focus on the others better points; there are no expectations and you ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are separated. I'm seeing my ex-boyfriend, who is engaged. I love my ex...what should I do?
Q. hello. i need help. my husband and i separated in march (10 months ago), because he was talking to other females and lying to me about it. we argued all the time, finally i left. in april i started seeing an ex boyfriend, but the problem is he is ...
A. 14 January 2006: Honestly, I'm happy that your happy as long as your with him, however one does begin to wonder just how many fires you've started and how many you'll put out. This guy has to see the other girl right; or what? She'll leave him? That would be great ... (read in full...)
What's the difference between him "loving" me and being "in love with" me?
Q. I found out recently that my husband was having a relationship with a girl on the internet. Although he says it was just for fun, he has now said that he loves me but is not "in love with" me like before. What does this mean?...
A. 13 January 2006: Being a male; I think I'm more than qualified to answer this question. Particularly since I have used this one before on more than one occasion. Whenever you first fall in love, is the best description that should help. The other person seems to ... (read in full...)
His ex gf stays at his place off and on! How should I deal with this?
Q. I am an intelligent 27 year old (never married) female. I've been spending a lot of time with a man (31, never married, has a 7 year old daughter) lately. He has been wonderful. Last night he told me that one reason we haven't gone to his house (in ...
A. 13 January 2006: Dear anonymous(if that's your real name :-),
Reality sinks in and one does start to question the validity of the ex staying there. However, you are extremely right in saying that he was HONEST. Let's face it; we should all be so luck to fall int... (read in full...)
He always cheats so I left him. Am I right to leave or are his relationships acceptable? Am I insecure?
Q. 2½yrs ago I found e mails between my husband and a female friend declaring their love etc. Also lots of calls in the middle of the night to his cell phone. He denied any sexual relationship and said it was a silly fantasy world he was in at the ...
A. 13 January 2006: Well honey, from a male point of view I can honestly say that I have alot of female friends and I don't tell them I love them nor declare any amount of love for them; except brotherly. If I respected (and I do) my fiancee' then I should have ... (read in full...)
He always cheats so I left him. Am I right to leave or are his relationships acceptable? Am I insecure?
Q. 2½yrs ago I found e mails between my husband and a female friend declaring their love etc. Also lots of calls in the middle of the night to his cell phone. He denied any sexual relationship and said it was a silly fantasy world he was in at the ...
A. 13 January 2006: Well honey, from a male point of view I can honestly say that I have alot of female friends and I don't tell them I love them nor declare any amount of love for them; except brotherly. If I respected (and I do) my fiancee' then I should have ... (read in full...)
He always cheats so I left him. Am I right to leave or are his relationships acceptable? Am I insecure?
Q. 2½yrs ago I found e mails between my husband and a female friend declaring their love etc. Also lots of calls in the middle of the night to his cell phone. He denied any sexual relationship and said it was a silly fantasy world he was in at the ...
A. 13 January 2006: Well honey, from a male point of view I can honestly say that I have alot of female friends and I don't tell them I love them nor declare any amount of love for them; except brotherly. If I respected (and I do) my fiancee' then I should have ... (read in full...)
Any tips on mending a broken heart?
Q. hi, need a bit of advice.... just come out of a 4 year relationship,not by my choice, and i hurt like mad. all i want to do is shut my self away from friends,work,everything. dont quite know how to deal with this. please can anyone tell me wots the ...
A. 13 January 2006: Well it's happened to me alot. I do mean alot; so here goes the Ed's heartbreak mending kit. Drink till you get drunk, call everyone you ever knew, make a complete ass of yourself, cry some more, try and get her back (for the 15th time) cry some ... (read in full...)
Could it be second time lucky?
Q. i think i'm in love with this girl but she turned me down the last time i asked her out, we have so much in common so how should i talk to her about it or ask her out again?...
A. 13 January 2006: I once worked for this company, I asked after 90 days,for a raise and was denied, I didn't ask again for 2 years. When I finally asked after 2 years they said of course and gave me the maximum+. When I asked them why I got so much they said you have ... (read in full...)
I broke up because I could find someone better than him. But I couldn't...
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago after dating for almost 5 years, because I thought I could find something better. After numerous dates and seeing whats out there, I realized I love him. I wanted him back after 3 months apart, he didn't want ...
A. 13 January 2006: Sometimes LUV is extremely complicated and yours is no different. Doesn't him actually being with you count for anything anymore? I think you said it best when you said "I am insecure". Does he give you reason to be insecure or are you by nature ... (read in full...)
I beat myself up so badly after I was nasty to my last girl... I'm now scared to take things further with the new one!
Q. Hi, i broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years about 10 months ago now, and it hurt very badley i lost her, but this was due to me being not a very nice guy, id never been physically violent to her, but i had a horrible temper and shouting was all i ...
A. 13 January 2006: Well being upset with yourself is 1/2 the battle; cause at least you identified the problem. The second 1/2 of your battle will come when you do commit to this new relationship. Maintaining your temper is crucial for you, because otherwise you WILL ... (read in full...)
My mom, 50, told me she's having an affair with a guy, 25... How do I help her?
Q. My 50 year old mother is having an affair with a man who is 25. I am the only person she trusts enough to tell and I don't know what to say to her. The problem is, that she loves her husband (My stepdad) very much but she is young at heart, she acts ...
A. 13 January 2006: It is definately possible that there are circumstances that you and I don't understand. If he is really 60 he may not be able to sexually satisfy her anymore. Understandably, he will be very upset, unless they have an agreement; usually they don't. ... (read in full...)
I have cunning plan to get back with my ex-girlfriend... Tell me: Will it work?
Q. I submitted an inquiry about my girlfriend of 2 and a half years breaking up with me. She said "I don't think I can rekindle the feelings I once had for you, no matter how much you change." But I am determined to prove her wrong. I have thought very ...
A. 13 January 2006: The last thing anyone want's to hear is I need space, but in fact we all need some space. The question is what to do with your space not hers. Concentrate your efforts on learning more about yourself and what your good at. Find a new hobby, girl, ... (read in full...)
We broke up a year ago. Now I found out he is in a new relationship and it has killed me... Why!?
Q. Well me and my ex went out for about 4 months. It's been a year since our breakup. In that year, I was totally over him...Until now. All of the sudden, I like him all over again. I found out that he's in a relationship and it kills me. It's been a ...
A. 13 January 2006: Stop and think for just a second.....................50 states, 7 continents, tons of countries and your hung up on ONE guy? Have you looked at another man since him? Hunny, you really need too. It's been a year and what have you done? Get out there ... (read in full...)
I love a married woman...
Q. "am in love with a married woman and she show me that she also loves me what can l do to bring her more close to me ??...
A. 13 January 2006: Let her go; there are hundreds of women out there.... (read in full...)
After heartbreak I thought finally this was the man of my dreams... Until I walked in on him snorting cocaine.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 36 year old single woman. I have not been able to find happiness since I split from my long term partner due to his alcoholism. I have been dumped twice by commitment phobic men and just as I was getting disillusioned met someone ...
A. 13 January 2006: Well, this is a tricky situation unless your ready to be single again. First, he seems like he's really cool and conducts himself accordingly. I guess you should give him bonus points for at least having his affairs in order. Secondly, yes you ... (read in full...)
He wants me to stay but I could go to university...what do I do?
Q. Please help, my boyfriend and I have been planning to go to University together for over a year, we're now accepted to the same university and looking for houses, and yesterday he told me he's not going and wants me to stay with him, I know I will ...
A. 13 January 2006: Let me make this perfectly clear to you in bold letters. EDUCATION: NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO TAKE AWAY FROM YOU! A MAN (and WOMAN) CAN BE TAKEN AWAY (unfortunately). There are many reasons a relationship can end but it will end. Maybe 80 years ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in the relationship with the cute "sex-girl" who had an affair?
Q. My Girlfriend of 7 years confessed to me she was in love with another man and was in a relationship with him for 6 months. She said she was not getting all that she needed from me. That I was all physical, but not spiritual and intelectual enough! ...
A. 13 January 2006: Dear cleancut,
Well that's a really tough one. I suppose you have to look at whether or not you have actually changed. I mean, did you really change and now she is seeing the side of you that you weren't. Probably not! You are probably old enou... (read in full...)
She had sex with my ex best friend...what do I do?
Q. I met my girl friend through my Xbest friend and he told me before hand he had sex with her. I was ok with it and we started a relationship. After 1 1/2 years together my girlfriend she left me for him. during the time he was seeing her It was unkn...
A. 23 December 2005: This is very sticky and uncomfortable for you I'm sure of that. This actually happened to me I wish I could tell you it gets better. I don't think it has for me. My Best friend had this girl and they used to mess around then he dumped her and moved ... (read in full...)
She cheated on me...do we stand a chance now?
Q. Hi, About two years ago I was in a lesbian relationship, but we split up because she cheated on me. It was a drunken one night stand that ended up going further because she thought I wouldn't forgive her. We were together for nearly 2 years. ...
A. 23 December 2005: Well it's always been said to me; Once a cheater always a cheater. I'm sorry for your troubles you have endured. It also bothers me emotionally that it's long distance. If you don't really see the person everyday or at least get your hugs then how ... (read in full...)
In the military and my husband has had an affair!
Q. My husband has had an affair with his boss in the military which is highly inappropriate. I am also in the military and have threatened with formal action due to my anger. He was on course for 8 weeks with his boss and rang me and told me my ...
A. 23 December 2005: I think you have every right to be upset. Affairs in the military seem to be somewhat common nowdays. I spent 15 years in the military and I know. Maybe it's all the hurry up and wait (do nothing) approach. However, one thing I do know is that one ... (read in full...)
Dating someone older???
Q. hi i was wonderin what everyone thought about datin older ppl??? im 14 and datin a 28 year old man. what u fink??...
A. 23 December 2005: I'm sorry but in my opinion until you are at minimum 17 you should NOT date anyone older than 17 period. The difference in age around this time frame is too hard to handle and their is a maturity level that cannot be broken. I'm sorry that you are ... (read in full...)
I love him but he wants to know one minute and then not the next
Q. i'm hopelessly inlove with a boy in school !!! one day i told him i'm inlove with him and he replied to me that it's just okey. and then few days later i offered him a snack after school he gladly received it then the second time i gave him food he ...
A. 23 December 2005: Just keep being his friend and it should work out in the end. Good luck. Ed ... (read in full...)
Is he just a good friend, a potential boyfriend... or gay?
Q. I think I'm in love with my best guy friend. I have had feelings on and off for him since the 5th grade and I am currently a 12th grader. I have never liked him as greatly as I do now though. My dilemma is that when I go to college next year I d...
A. 23 December 2005: I think absolutely you should tell him how you feel. I think that his response will not only satisfy your curiosity about him loving you but you can answer the question about being gay. Either way the coolest thing I've ever heard is "Better to have ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get over all the hurt and bad feelings caused by my ex-boyfriend. Even though my new bf is great!
Q. Hi--I was looking for advice: I am seeing a great guy, but I can't stop memories of my ex from popping up and I keep on thinking of the past when I was with my manipulative ex and how much he hurt me. I lost my virginity to him and even though I am ...
A. 23 December 2005: Ok here we go young lady. First your not stupid, damaged, or especially dirty. Let's just say that because if you are for loosing your virginity to someone else then what does that really say about the whole world. We all lose it sometime unless we ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend avoid talking about our future?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We both say we love each other, yet he never will bring up the future. Whenever I try to, he always says he does not know if we will be dating. We are both in our twenties and I just want to ...
A. 21 December 2005: Communicatrix said it best. Back off sister and re-evaluate yourself and your situation. Pressing is not desirable from either partner. Communication is the foremost in a commitement. I know that whenever my fiancee presses for something I do desire ... (read in full...)
He's a christian and I have had sexual fantasies about him! I'm embarrassed.
Q. I've told my bf (because I want to be honest with him) that sometimes I have sexual fantasies about him which was really maybe a bad thing to do on my part because he he reacted calmly and was actually a little surprised and then he told me he never ...
A. 21 December 2005: So the cat's out of the bag. Good! At least your on the right track to an honest relationship. It's always been my experience to hope that the opposite sex could find me in a sexual fantasy with them. The fact that she would tell me is even better ... (read in full...)
Just come out of a long term relationship... What are the dating rules nowadays?!
Q. I came out of a long term relationship the beginning of the year and have started to date again recently, but i am worried in case i am expecting too much too early, what is the dating rules? I have been seeing a guy for 3 weeks, once or twice a ...
A. 21 December 2005: I personally don't see anything wrong with only contacting you 2 times a week if it's only our 3rd week. I realize that this is a new time and age where e-mail is relevant. So I don't discount Suzie's opinion on technological advances; however maybe ... (read in full...)
Haven't seen my guy in 10 years, but I'm still in love with him...
Q. Almost 10 years ago, I met a man. Basically although I have had very bad relationships with other men, this relationship was only sex but we got along great, We would talk about friends and family and he would drop what he was doing if I called. B...
A. 21 December 2005: I believe in that type of love and I have a few friends that I would point out that are the same way. Let's just say for the sake of discussion you run into him again. Things have changed alot over 10 years. You may still love him and maybe he loves ... (read in full...)
| *r.Ed's friends
These are mutual friends, so *r.Ed has
added them and they have added *r.Ed!
|
