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Other boys are attracted to my girlfriend, because she's so pretty and friendly. What can I do?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 July 2005) 11 Answers - (Newest, 30 April 2008)
A male , *ishbringer writes:

I and my girlfriend have known each other for a year. She is very friendly and pretty so she has many friends. I love her very much and she also love me so much too. Everything should well but I have some problems about her.

Due to her friendly character,she can talk and make friends to everybody easily including boys so much. I don't like her to have many boys as her friends. What should I do?

thank you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

hey man, you just have to go with it, cuz if she really loves you (and if you talk to her enough) then talking to other guys will not take her mind off you, as long as you keep letting her know how much you love her. and in the words of john lennon, let it be!

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A male reader, paintsprayer98 United States +, writes (30 March 2008):

im going through the same problem. everybody i talk to says that i should trust her. i want to trust her, but you have to build trust first. it takes forever to build trust strong enough to be able to sit back comfterably and watch your gf talk to other guys. thats is something that i have not been able to feel good about. i dont want her to talk to other guys, but on the flipside i feel like i can talk to friends that are girls again. i had stopped because i love my gf and i didnt want her to get mad at me for talking to my friends that are girls. but i guess if its meant to be, then it will be. i just love her so much and dont want to lose her. i think im just afraid that she will start to like these guy friends she meets online. i know its not much help but im going through the same problem man. good luck to you and ill pray for you and your situation.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2007):

You both chose to be with one another. Now you both have to make a few changes to make each other feel comfortable

in every situation that arises. Tell her that you don't

care for her having all these males friends and see were

that leads you. I was in the exact same situation and my GF started telling her male-friends about me. They immediately stopped being so friendly with her..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2005):

Ok man... DO NOT listen to these girls. They're immature, and they'll figure out how many men like it when their gf or wife talk to other men.

But go ahead and stick with her and let her break your heart so you know how women really are. You'll have to go through it sooner or later to understand womens ways. Its just a game to them. "I love you, I want to marry you" one month "I don't know" the next. They don't know what they want. Figure out what you want. Tell them. If they can't give that, they aren't worth it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2005):

My advice. Cut your losses and dump her right now. I know these types of girls and it is habitual for them. You will grow to feel worse and worse and your self esteem will crumble. She says she loves you. Does she really? I doubt it. The guys she is seeing in your absence can't be trusted. They are gutless and will do and say all kinds of things behind your back. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't put yourself through it. It will never get any easier.

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A female reader, ferraro-lisa +, writes (18 July 2005):

well i think you have no need to worry about your girlfriend, like you said you love eachother and she is very friendly which means she would not do anything to hurt you or jepridise your relationship. If you have a problem about her being close to guys its easier for you to talk it out with her to clear the air. honesty is always the answer.

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A reader, kt United Kingdom +, writes (18 July 2005):

kt agony auntwell there is nothing you can do, she is going to have friends that are boys, as long as they stay friends while you are going out with her, you have to trust her and if you cant do that then maybe you will have too rethink the relationship.

good luck!!

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A reader, becky05 +, writes (13 July 2005):

Let her be friends with who she likes, unfortunately, you cant control her.

Theres no harm in a woman having male friends.

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A reader, lucy +, writes (13 July 2005):

If she loves you sweety then she won't go off with these other guys. Talk to her how you are feeling and I am sure that she will tell you herself that she has no intention of going off with anyone else. She chose you over everyone else, so that must mean you have very special qualities so my advice to you is to not let it wrorry you and just trust her that she will not go off with anyone else. xxx

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A reader, pops +, writes (13 July 2005):

She is obviously way to young to make a commitment to just one " boy ", even you, so you will have to bide your time. Jealousy is simply an expression of self doubt. You say she loves you too, but then say you are jealous of her talking to other boys. If she loves you, what does it matter that she talks to other boys. What do you have to apologize about? Why the self doubt? Is she telling other boys she loves them, or is she simply trying to experience a lot of new people before she settles for just one man. Many couple meet early in life, and have to wait for years before both of them realize that there is no one better suited to them than each other. But people keep looking, if for no other reason than to assure themselves that they got that lucky that early in life. If you want to lose her, act possessive and jealous. If you want to keep her, encourage her to meet and talk to other boys. If you know the kinds of boys that she is attracted to, point them out to her when you are with her. Maybe she will reciprocate and point out the pretty girls to you, too. When a couple reaches the stage when they can do this, they have no worries about each other's fidelity. I was married for a short time to a woman where we share this kind of relationship. The marriage ended for other reasons, and we remained friends. A couple of years after the divorce, we talked about this, and we both acknowledged to each other that neither of us had been unfaithful to the other, nor felt any need to do so. There is a certain amount of grace here, and I hope you have this with your gf. Grace is not an easy thing to find. Pops

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A female reader, missbunbury United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2005):

missbunbury agony auntWhat you need to realise here is that your girlfriend has chosen to be with you, regardless of how many male friends she has. If you try and stop her from being friends with other guys, you'll drive her away because she'll think you don't trust her, and I think this is something you need do think about - how much do you trust her? If you truly believe she loves you, then it doesn't matter what happens, she'll be with you. Having boys as friends is very normal, and it's probably because she is in tune with men in general that she makes such a great girlfriend, so try and think of her male friends in a positive way.

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