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female
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*onfusedirishgirl
writes: Hello, I met my bf on the internet. We chatted for a year and then texted for ages and then we met about 4 times a week. Each time I'd go over to Ireland or he'd go over to England, where I was living. I moved over in May 2005 and still in Ireland now, but the problem is we are 2 different people, have different interests, different view and we seem to be stuck in a rut of arguing every 5 weeks. It gets very nasty verbally. I'm at the stage where it doesn't feel right to me. It feels like we are just stuck waiting for the other one to say it's over. Do you think I should just cut my losses and break it off now and move back? Or what should I do? He won't talk; he seems happy to think that we are fine and buying me things is the answer, and ignoring everything. Can anyone help me? confused irish girl.
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male
reader, Uncle Steve +, writes (25 February 2006):
I think you have the answer already,you just have to pluck up the courage to say bye bye.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2006): It seems you're having serious issues here. Completely different lifestyles or interests are okay, especially when you have the fun of teaching each other things. But if you aren't doing that, it might be that your infatuation has died off. I say infatuation, because love kinda keeps this fire going. You share stuff. You don't feel threatened by the other person's interests, even if they're not your interests. And most importantly, you share your interests with each other. Show each other what gets you excited. And you don't always have to like it. It's just the want to share that's importantHow did you feel about him when you met him in person the first time? If you feel you shouldn't be sticking it out, but you are, can you pinpoint why you might be doing that? Guilt? A sense of obligation? Fear of loneliness? Try to figure out what's keeping you back. This business of him buying you things to keep you sounds familiar. Try to break off that dependence. Get a clean slate, so that you can tell exactly what it is that keeps you going back and what it is that may be keeping you from breaking it off, if you need to.
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A
female
reader, missbunbury  +, writes (22 February 2006):
 Here's an idea - you say that you are arguing "every five weeks" - could this have anything to do with your menstrual cycle? I'm not trying to say you're a hysterical woman or anything, but I know from my own experience that I get very snappy and easily irritated during a certain part of my cycle - it took me a while to figure out what was going on because I wasn't having it happen during the week before my period, like most women, but during the week before that. Try keeping a mood diary for three months, and see if you can identify a pattern. It's just one possible suggestion, but I hope it will help you to feel like you're making a positive effort to make things better. It might also help your boyfriend to realise that you're serious about sorting these problems out.
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