Ladies: How important are a man's looks in a relationship?
Q. Hello. This is not a "problem" as such, but i have a question for the ladies.... TRUTHFULLY, how important are a mans looks in a relationship? I ask this for 2 reasons. Firstly women always say that its personality, kindness, empathy, sense o...
A. 24 October 2011: Physical characteristics are important, but what makes women (or me) stick around is the personality and intangible qualities. There's been guys I've thought were average looking at first, but then after noticing some of their nonphysical qualities, ... (read in full...)
Why do I compare my personality to other people's?
Q. Hi I need some advise, I feel like there's something wrong with me?? I always compare my personality to other girls. When I over here girls talking sometimes I think to myself, 'She's so much funnier than I am, 'I would never think of saying ...
A. 21 October 2011: The best advice I can give is the old cliche, "be yourself." Realize your strengths and weaknesses and be confident in them - yes, even the weaknesses - because in the end, they're uniquely you. It's not bad to observe others, because in the proc... (read in full...)
I have this nasty habit of making fun of girlfriend's class. People, please help me get rid of this nasty habit?
Q. I am deeply in love with this gorgeous girl and we have been in a relationship for ten years. I was born in a rich family and hardly made myself sweat for anything I wanted my life whereas she’s middle class but with decent education background ...
A. 9 October 2011: You might not mean the insults offensively, but she takes them as such. It's obvious that you love her, and that she loves you, so you need to start showing more respect for her. She should accept shortcomings that you don't have control over, but ... (read in full...)
Getting close to my daughter's dad again and I'm so confused
Q. My ex bf Josh and I have a 5 yr old daughter together. We started dating when I was 16 yrs old and he was 18 yrs old. I got pregnant when I was 19 (she wasn't planned). We mutally decided to break up 2 yrs ago. I'm not really sure why we decided to, ...
A. 26 September 2011: Since he's been such a great dad, and it doesn't seem like he's been a bad person at all, why don't you two try being together again? It might be good for your daughter, and maybe you'll have a better relationship than before. Take it slow if you ... (read in full...)
UPDATE What can I say to get a conversation going?
Q. Hello again, everyone. I posted a question on here on the 5th July this year. Briefly, I was running into a woman on the journey to work every day and did I think she was the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen? Yes! The question I asked was, as ...
A. 6 September 2011: I didn't answer your original question but I'm happy for you! How exciting it is to read a great update to a question!!
I wish you all the best!... (read in full...)
Do women want guys to see everything?
Q. Why do so many women wear tops that, when they lean over, give everyone a full view of their boobs? I have been noticing this more and more, from women of seemingly all ages. It's not just seeing cleavage, but rather all of their chest and bra. Are ...
A. 3 September 2011: It's not always about showing off to the guys (or girls); women like to dress for themselves too. Sometimes women might want the guy they're interested in to notice, or it's just what worked with their outfit that day.
I don't think it's right to a... (read in full...)
How can I fake being a virgin?
Q. hi there, my name is nancy and i was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how i can fake being a virgin. because i'm gettin married soon and it's a crime in my culture to have sex before marrige....
A. 9 May 2011: A "crime"? Wow. Well, he should be a virgin too in this case so, he has no sure way to know how a virgin should be. If he gets on to you about "you didn't bleed" or other statements, just stay with your story that you're a virgin. He has no way to ... (read in full...)
What is "Masculine"? - A body language question
Q. Hello all, Allright guys. Amidst all the serious questions on relationships, dating, marriage, break-ups etc, I thought of giving you guys a breather. This is a sort of trivial question, but am sure it can make for a casual chat topic. I am a...
A. 9 May 2011: Yes, interesting question :)
I do feel that for a guy sitting with legs crossed is a bit feminine, but I wouldn't think he's gay just because of that. I've seen quite masculine men cross their legs before, and it didn't take away from their ma... (read in full...)
I set him a trap, he failed my trap. Was what he did cheating? How can I stop him cheating?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship together for more than four years now. He has never done anything to cheat on me but when i checked his emails, i saw one of his emails saved in drafts saying "I am a single male of 24, what you wan...
A. 8 April 2011: You did what you had to do. You had reason to test his commitment when you saw that unsent draft from a year ago saying he's single when you had already been together for three years. Now, I don't think everyone should go tricking their partners but ... (read in full...)
Saw her naked for the first time and was kinda freaked out
Q. okay, i need help, i am 21, my gf is 19.. she is really sweet n caring, we re both the first one for each other.. we ve been in relationship for abt a year now. we decided to take things slow, but last evening we were making out and she removed ...
A. 19 March 2011: You were wrong to think that the normal vagina is the one seen in porn. Trust that how her body looks is rightly how it should look like. Don't be freaked out. The extra skin isn't going to attack you, it's just skin. From all the billions of ... (read in full...)
Is it his culture or is he just not for real?
Q. Hello..read on, Im starting from the beginning.. I have met an Arab guy. He was in awe when we met.1 week after meeting we slept together. It was going to happen from the start.There was serious attraction. Before we even slept together everyth...
A. 19 March 2011: I don't know where Bernard got his info, but Arabs don't take offense to being called "Arab." You can call them "Egyptian/Syrian/Jordanian," or simply "Arab" and no one will think it's rude. I've lived in a Middle Eastern country and lived between ... (read in full...)
Girls: why do you get emotional about sex???
Q. Why do girls act like they hate all boys, when they themselves know that the guys they are choosing to be with are known to only use girls for their bodies? This is a question i've been wondering for a while. Girls want sex more than guys. Period. ...
A. 18 March 2011: My view is this: Girls want to be with the "bad boy" type because most of them want the strong, confident guy. They believe that while they're with them they won't get hurt, that the guys will look the part of the bad boy but treat them as a good ... (read in full...)
Token Penis Size Question
Q. No serious insecurities here, and I know this gets asked constantly but seriously A good, caring guy with a great personality and good career who totes your average 6 inch 5 around penis or A good caring guy with a great personality and goo...
A. 18 March 2011: My honest answer is that the decision wouldn't at all rest on the size of a guy's penis. Between two guys with the listed characteristics, I wouldn't take into consideration their size. Instead, I would choose the guy who I felt more in connection ... (read in full...)
What is he doing on facebook?
Q. Help. My boyfriend of 5 months is constantly adding 'random young girls' on facebook. Since January he has added 100 girls. As soon as he adds them he removes them from his wall, so it looks like he never uses facebook. He never writes on his wall ...
A. 16 March 2011: I had a similar experience where the guy hadn't even wanted to add me. He added not only "tarty" looking girls but some low key porn stars as well. I believe guys add these girls to have something to look at and have a little fun in the background. ... (read in full...)
Any way to naturally enhance breasts by next month?
Q. My boyfriend of five months will be visiting me next week for the first time and am desperately in need of breast enhancement. . .i have a very small breast and i don't want him to see me this way. Pls can you guys give me any tips that will enlarge ...
A. 8 March 2011: So you want bigger breasts - implants or herbs aren't allowed, but you want to make them bigger naturally... I'm sorry but there's nothing you can do. If there was a way women would do that and skip getting surgeries. You can gain weight and risk ... (read in full...)
Smoking, drinking, sex, parties, the wrong crowd, failing in my class ...My life is a nightmare. HELP!!
Q. My Life is on the border of disaster.! I'm a 15yr old sophomore and i need serious help. since my mom had her 2nd child, I've been getting away with a lot of stuff lately, sneaking out to go have sex, drinking at parties and smoking with guy...
A. 25 February 2011: I'm really happy and glad that you want to stop this bad cycle of drugs, sex, sneaking out. Not many people realize how much they're ruining their lives with such behaviors.
First question, how come you haven't went to one of your parents to talk... (read in full...)
My small boobs are killing my relationships!
Q. Okay I have really big problems with my relationships.. I have very small boobs between size AA and A (not very sure). When I meet a guys who I like, Im scared to let them get close to me. Often guys asking me out and saying that im nice person.....
A. 25 February 2011: I don't think your breast-size killed your relationships, you making this an issue to the point of causing depression did. It seems no matter what size breasts girls have they are not happy with them. "They're too small", "they're too big" - the ... (read in full...)
How should I read all of this complimenting?
Q. OK so I am 16 years old (and please excuse the english of mine, it's not best) i can't say i'm strikingly beautiful, but i'm not too ugly either so, my best friend is an amazing guy. he is smart, kind, sweet, athletical, and he's really hot! (app...
A. 23 February 2011: Based on what you wrote, it sounds to me like he's just complimenting you. That he only compliments on your body could mean he's sexually attracted to you, or that he doesn't think anything of it (that the compliments don't have hidden meanings) so ... (read in full...)
Who is this mysterious pen writer?
Q. A few days ago someone started mysteriously signing my name in on the attendance sheet for a lecture at college before it reaches me. I'm also 100% sure it's a girl because the handwriting is girly and my name is followed by a love heart. It's...
A. 9 February 2011: Yeah I would assume it's that girl you're referring to.
Let us know what happens. I'm interested in knowing what will come of this :)... (read in full...)
Broken family, broken spirit
Q. I'm nearly 16, am British but live in an Arabian country. Looking back, I remember my childhood as happy and stable, but behind the scenes my dad would cheat repeatedly. The final straw came for my mum when he slept with our in-house cleaner who was ...
A. 18 January 2011: It's so nice of you to write back! And you're welcome :)
I have another piece of advice since now we know what country you're in. If you ever need to, make use of the women's shelters in Dubai. There are a few of them there (thankfully) so that... (read in full...)
Is it possible to decide which is more important: personality? Or who the person really is?
Q. I was just wondering, if you ever had to choose between personality and who the person is, what is more important in a relationship? Like what I mean by who the person is: -They play sports, can bake / cook, is very artistic, like the same animals ...
A. 18 January 2011: Wow, this is different than the usual "looks or personality" question :)
I think ultimately who the person is and her/his personality is one. But if I had to choose it would be personality. A person can be a cook, but if he doesn't enjoy cook... (read in full...)
Broken family, broken spirit
Q. I'm nearly 16, am British but live in an Arabian country. Looking back, I remember my childhood as happy and stable, but behind the scenes my dad would cheat repeatedly. The final straw came for my mum when he slept with our in-house cleaner who was ...
A. 17 January 2011: I'm not sure where you live. Are you and your mom living in Pakistan rather than an Arabic country? Or are you still in the UK? I could cater my answer to your situation more if I knew. Still, here's my advice to you. Your mom's husband doesn't ... (read in full...)
She already knew I had kids but got upset when she found a video of their birth of my computer!
Q. I met a girl 2 month ago, we heard so much fun in a very short period of time, I have 3 kids one 5, and twins 2, with different women, at first I told her I have 1 child, later on as we where getting serious, I knew I really like her, so i told her ...
A. 17 January 2011: Isn't it implied that the father of the child being born will be at the hospital during the birth?? Isn't it normal for the grandmother to hold and know her grandkids?? Unless you made her understand differently, like explicitly lied, the girl had ... (read in full...)
Girls, what turns you off?
Q. Girls what is a major turn off about a guy? Is it appearance? Smell? What?...
A. 30 November 2010: In no particular order:
1. If a guy is a smoker
2. Has girly hands
3. Has femine facial features. They may be pretty but I wouldnt get with them.
4. Puts others down to make himself feel better
5. Has unsightly feet
6. Not educated
7. S... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend disappeared on me, and I can't get over it
Q. I'm still heart broken, after 4 months. I was seeing my ex boyfriend for 1 year, even though it was a long distance relationship , he lived an hour and half away by train. I was very much in love with him. He last came to visit me for a week in ...
A. 28 November 2010: What a piece of turd this guy! You dont deserve this at all so just set your mind on moving on and never giving this guy a second thought. Delete him from your Facebook. He blocked you, so what? YOU delete him.
I know it's hard when a guy does this... (read in full...)
Muslim accepting me with 2 kids...
Q. My situation is this. I have fell in love with a girl. she is 22 years old, i am 26, she is muslim and i am 'well' Nothing lol. so thats us. Now the problems. Because im not muslim, does this matter? my brother married a muslim girl and he conv...
A. 27 November 2010: She may be born and raised in England, but her parents' culture can still be the dominant one. For example, if she's from the southeast Asia area, there could be an arranged marriage that might happen; if from Turkey/any Arabic country, there is a ... (read in full...)
Muslim accepting me with 2 kids...
Q. My situation is this. I have fell in love with a girl. she is 22 years old, i am 26, she is muslim and i am 'well' Nothing lol. so thats us. Now the problems. Because im not muslim, does this matter? my brother married a muslim girl and he conv...
A. 27 November 2010: I don't think her mother will oppose you for having kids. A lot of marriages happen between Muslim or non-Muslim people who already have kids. Now, her family could think you slept around a bit promiscuously, but show that you changed and that their ... (read in full...)
Muslim accepting me with 2 kids...
Q. My situation is this. I have fell in love with a girl. she is 22 years old, i am 26, she is muslim and i am 'well' Nothing lol. so thats us. Now the problems. Because im not muslim, does this matter? my brother married a muslim girl and he conv...
A. 26 November 2010: That you have kids won't phase the family as much as the fact that you're not Muslim. In the Islamic faith, Muslim women and non-Muslim men can't marry (I won't get into the reasoning here), therefore they shouldn't enter to relationships together. ... (read in full...)
What can I do about boyfriend not calling me or contacting me?
Q. I wrote here a few days ago about my boyfriend not calling or showing up when he said he would (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/its-been-24-hours-and-he-hasnt-called.html). So it's been a few days now and I still haven't heard from him. I don'...
A. 25 November 2010: I just read your other question too right now. Youre right, what he's doing is cruel. I've had a guy do this to me as well so I know how you're feeling. It didnt sound like you guys had a fight or anything like that, so I wonder why he disappea... (read in full...)
He kicked me and I'm scared now I have to be in class with him every day
Q. im 14 and the other day me and my boyfriend (who is also 14) were walkin to school and he was with all his mates and he whistled at my freind and calle her a slag and i said he was a pr*ick and walked off but he grabbed my arm and pushed me over but ...
A. 25 November 2010: You love him too much?!! Well he loves HURTING YOU!!! Who pushes someone then kicks them, until they bleed?? They are monsters who do that! You being afraid of him is definitely a sign that you should NOT love this guy. Being young you might li... (read in full...)
How do I stay strong for my family and friends?
Q. I went to the Doctor on Friday to find out about a lump on my back. The doctor told me that i was to have surgery to take it out. He said it could be one of three things, 1. Cancer 2. Tumor 3. Cyst. We are hoping for a Cyst but im scared. I try ...
A. 23 November 2010: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time. Your question shows what a sweetheart you are. I hope the lump will be nothing serious. About your question being strong for your family - it helps when you and the people around y... (read in full...)
Feeling insecure because my partner gets so many compliments
Q. Ok, here’s the problem - hope some people feel they can offer a little insight: First, to avoid confusion, I’m gay. I’m in a relationship, which appears to be showing signs of being serious. My boyfriend and I have an age gap - I am 33 and he...
A. 14 November 2010: Who's your boyfriend with? YOU!
Although getting compliments and attention from others can be flattering, they dont mean anything when you're happy with your SO. Your boyfriend chose to be with you so focus on that. Don't let insecurities stop you ... (read in full...)
My gf wants to go to a winter ball with another guy and I don't know what to say!
Q. Since I am in college and my girlfriend is still in high school she asked me if she could go the winter ball at another high school. I told her yes and why she even had to ask me. She then tells me since the ball is at another school she can't go ...
A. 14 November 2010: I dont think you'll have anything to worry about. Your girlfriend did ask for your permission, so I dont think she'll allow anything to happen (let the guy "make a move on her"). Im not sure exactly how all school dances function, but couldnt she go ... (read in full...)
I'm a Christian, he's a Muslim and I don't think this is going to work!
Q. Someone please help me! I've just found out that my Internet romance, who I have fancied for about 4 months now and think he's amazing, is a Muslim! I'm a strong Christian in a very strong Christian family. I don't know what to to I love him to b...
A. 14 November 2010: A Muslim man can marry a Christian woman. He can't force her to convert or do anything she doesnt like (same goes for whether she's Muslim, Christian, Jewish). All that's needed of the woman is that she's a good person; and it sounds like you, as a ... (read in full...)
Her boobs are amazing!!!
Q. I am an arab man (but also a christian). the rules and traditions in my country told men to treat women except their wives as sisters (with no sexual feelings) and told women not to wear sexy clothes. of course man and woman can do whatever...
A. 8 November 2010: It sounds like this girl likes the attention she's getting from you and it boosts her confidence. Girls dont always wear lowcut tops for guys, we sometimes just wear them cause WE like them. But, all this bending over she's doing and not wearing ... (read in full...)
Should my g/f wearing a ex's jacket bother me this much?
Q. Should my g/f wearing a ex's jacket bother me this much? I asked my g/f to drop something off at my place while she was running around and she hops out and is wearing a old b/f's biker jacket when I asked her why she says cause she only has 3 other ...
A. 7 November 2010: I understand why and how it would bother you, but logically it shouldn't. Her ex is out of the picture now and she's with you. Plus it's just a jacket, a piece of cloth. I have an ex's shirt, and while I think of him whenever I grab to put it on, ... (read in full...)
Her boobs are amazing!!!
Q. I am an arab man (but also a christian). the rules and traditions in my country told men to treat women except their wives as sisters (with no sexual feelings) and told women not to wear sexy clothes. of course man and woman can do whatever...
A. 7 November 2010: I hope I will be of some help because I come from the same culture (altho diff religion).
It sounds like this girl knows the effect her breasts have on you. What girl would go out with no bra on, especially if she has big breasts like you've stat... (read in full...)
If your boyfriend was blind, would you stay or would you go?
Q. Dear Cupid, My name is Alexis and I'm 18 years old. I met the man of my dreams of 21, four years ago and we have been together ever since. When we first started dating, I knew I could picture myself getting married to him, and having a family ...
A. 2 November 2010: You are such a good-hearted person. I commend you for staying with your boyfriend as he went through this ordeal. I want to share with you a short film I think you will appreciate. The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flkFW5E0XcM. If links ar... (read in full...)
How do I get my girlfriend to realize this guy isn't backing off?
Q. Hi all, My girlfriend (18 y.o.) and I (19 y.o.) have been dating for 4 years. It is a long distance relationship (about 3.5 hours distance), but I drive down to see her every weekend. I grew up with her (I've known her for 7 years), so I sho...
A. 1 November 2010: It sounds like there is definitely something between them, or it's going to be soon. Your girl likes the attention, I dont believe she is oblivious to all the signals the other guy is giving.
You sound like a good guy, I dont want you to get play... (read in full...)
I thought he liked me but he talks to so many other girls. Is he just a player?
Q. Hi there.. I think I just need a little bit of help with this one. Hope I don't tire you all out while reading this. I met a guy in our accounting class about two months ago, and he took the effort to come up to one of my girlfriends sugg...
A. 29 October 2010: This guy is either too good to be true, or he's really good at acting it.
Because you're taking it slow and there's "no pressure," do contact him. I know he was the one who cancelled your date, but just send him a text or FB message asking how he's... (read in full...)
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