A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am an arab man (but also a christian). the rules and traditions in my country told men to treat women except their wives as sisters (with no sexual feelings) and told women not to wear sexy clothes. of course man and woman can do whatever they want but when they have sexual relationship without getting married or when woman wear too sexy clothes people start to think about her (or maybe treat her) as a slut. so to be a respectable woman you shouldn't wear sexy clothes and protect you virginity until you get married and to be respectable man you should treat women like your sisters and when you fell in love with girl you should marry her to have a sexual relationship with her in these conditions i grow up. but of course in modern life things is changed somehow, so a lot of women wear sexy clothes in streets, work, college and also there is the internet where you can see whatever you want, so it isn't a big deal for me to see women body. actually it became a normal thing to guy like me who is 25 years old. when i went to a college five years ago i met a girl and i liked her but our program or classes wasn't the same, so we could only meet at the end of the day, so we start talking and laughing and having fun. In the second year i told her that i loved her then she told me that she loved me too but she can't marry me because of some reasons (one of them was because she belong to a rich family and her parents will not accept our marriage) and for other reasons, although she and i felt so sad but we continued to treat each other as lovers so i was the only close friend of hers and she's still the only close friend of mine. We had just a romantic relationship for three years. but during all that three years i wasn't thinking about her body and when she wore some sexy clothes i always tried to ignore that and focus on her face but at the fourth year of college we must choose a department (or section) in college to continue studying at so we choose the same one and here started my problem.We started to study together and do our project together and i started to notice her body more and more, she is little fat but she has big boobs (too big) and great cleavage. I started to look at her body in a different way and here's some examples. One day i was studying at the library then she came in and bended over in front of my table to talk with me and showed her sexy cleavage… (if she was another girl i would simply stare at her cleavage just for a moment and then look at her face and continue normally ) but when she showed her cleavage i felt horny and i looked at her boobs for a long time but from time to another i look at her face to show that is normal, that lasted for ten minutes one day we were at the lab and there was a machine we have to work on and it has a display monitor laying on the floor, she wanted to read its readings and told me to write what she reads, so she crouched in front of the monitor and i sat behind her then something bushed me to go and stand beside her. she was wearing a little lowcut t-shirt, so i started to stare at her boobs and i feel a strange feeling. suddenly she looked at me smiled then continued working (i don't know why) and i continued looking at her cleavage (sometimes i was pretending that i was writing some notes on my notebook to don’t let her notice that i was looking at her boobs)… in the evening that day we talked on phone and it was really romantic call so i felt so sorry about what i have done because first it was wrong to look at girls body(as i grew up) and second because it was the girl who i love and she was very kind of me. that feeling lasts for some days that i could ignore my sexual feeling about her but later the problem continued i would like to say that most of my examples is about her boobs because she didn't wear skirts in the college and the most part i like in a woman's body is her boobs and my friend has very sexy and big boobs.after the class she asked me to stay with her and i accepted that and told her that i can help her with cleaning but she refused that and told me just to stay with her so i stayed and just watched her cleaning. When she started to clean she bends over all the time and her boobs were completely showing because she wasn't wearing bra. it was my first time to see her nipples and they was so beautiful and her boobs was moving up and down in vey sexy way… it was also my first time that i wanted to touch her boobs and lick her nipples.. in other words i wanted to have a sex with her.after that day my feeling started to change so start to focus more and more on her body but that is confusing me i love her but i also want to see her body …. her face is so angelic and her boobs are irresistable.now even i see a naked woman it will not be a matter comparing with it when i see her boobsi think that other girls now mean no thing to me and these kind of situations that i explained repeated and repeats times and times so what should i do? of course i can't ask her to have a sex or even to see her boobs because that is forbidden in our traditions and rules and i didn't know if she knows about my feelingsmaybe she don't know that i see her boobs when she bends over (sometimes i think that she do it intentionally because this situation is repeated so many times) she still so kind of me and we still talk and live as a lover as it was former but my feeling about her body has changed in a way i can't resist it what should i do for me and for her i really love her and i really want her boobs. Can you tell me your opinion about those examples i have just explained and please give me some advice to how act in these situations.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionplease give me more answers or more explanation to my situation please
A
female
reader, Miss.Me  +, writes (8 November 2010):
 It sounds like this girl likes the attention she's getting from you and it boosts her confidence. Girls dont always wear lowcut tops for guys, we sometimes just wear them cause WE like them. But, all this bending over she's doing and not wearing bras is because she knows you're looking. She might be waiting for you to say or do something.
I dont know where you stand about sex before marriage or just sex in general, but here's how I think you should act:
1. You can ignore her advances and pretend (and really try) not to look at her breasts. I believe she will get tired of "showing off" after a few days.
2. Tell her that you know what she's doing. You can tell her in a joking manner, like "you sure do bend over alot" or "your shirts come in small sizes, dont they?" She will get the idea that you notice her after that.
I dont suggest that you keep looking and oogling at her. Girls like attention, but she shouldnt keep exposing her breasts for that. Let it be a lesson for her: girls should know that displaying their big breasts or nice legs or whatever is not the only way to attract attention, their personality, intelligence, etc. is worth even more attention.
Her saying she just wants to be friends, yet intentionally showing off makes her feel powerful. She is saying you cant have her sexually but she knows the effect her body has on you. In such a culture as Arab culture, a woman being in control of a man may only come by using her body, so that's what your friend might be doing as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you Miss.Me you were very helpful so I will ask you somthing : you are a girls and you can understand the conditions of my culture as you saig so can you please explain her (my friend) behaviours: she asked me to be just a friends and then she shows me her body intentionlly (as you said) and can you tell me how to act in these situaioins (look.. don't look...resist my sexual feelings or give myself some free side) should I stand or sit in a way let me have better view of her cleavage or boobs when she try on purpus lo let me see
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 You don't say if you are studying in your own (Arab) country, or in a more liberal country?
If you are at home, then your only choice is to keep your hands off her and ask her to marry you. You might have to wait some time, and you might get her.
If you are in another country, and she is not of your same culture, then you can either forget your own cultural upbringing and just have a full sexual relationship with her, or you can, again, not touch her and ask to marry her.
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A
female
reader, Miss.Me +, writes (7 November 2010):
I hope I will be of some help because I come from the same culture (altho diff religion).
It sounds like this girl knows the effect her breasts have on you. What girl would go out with no bra on, especially if she has big breasts like you've stated?! I bet she knows you're interested in her breasts. Now I know how the culture is there. It probably wont be a good thing if you two have sex and the news gets around (especially if her family/male relatives find out) depending on how conservative/traditional her family is. So I suggest that you either strictly remain friends or you ask her hand in marriage. I know people nowdays, in whatever strict culture, have "forbidden" relationships. It sounds like there is huge sexual tension between you two; you can choose to act upon it, or try to lessen it. As a human being it is normal to have sexual feelings, so don't excuse yourself for that (IT IS NORMAL).
You two are in a relationship together, as in boyfriend and girlfriend? If you are, talk to her about how your feelings changed - that your sexual attraction to her has increased. Tell her what she thinks should happen between you two now: act upon it, or for you & her to limit how much you see/talk to each other. So like I said before, if her family is traditional you might not want to pursue a sexual relationship with her. But in the end its you and her choice.
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A
female
reader, we-are-nowhere  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 oh you poor thing - or simply weird- ... arab countries lmao well my guess is that u're from Egypt ... people there have sex all the time 7abeby it is totally normal .. and if a girl knows u're looking at her boobs and intentionalyy shows u her boobs ... she wants you to look and all that .. dont feel guilty .. god it is so sad how the traditions crap made you believe that wanting to have sex with someone you love is a bad thing .. it is totally a normal thing that u're attracted to someone when u love them .. 3ady gedan ...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): she knows u can see her boobs shes doing it on purpose...a girl knows what kind of blouse she wears she just loves the attencion u give her....just go for it let her know u want her.....u'll be surprised at her answer....thats my opinion,im a 30 yr old female...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 You have an Arab and Christian background. Although nowadays people are liberal it's not going to change a mind with thousand years of conditioning, that wives are sexy only to their husbands. You know you can't have her so that makes her more delicious. You tempt each other and awaiting for the moment when you can't control yourself while you don't have to worry about marrying her. Isn't that the best? You have mentioned about her boobs only and you say you love her. You don't know this girl's intentions. One day she might rebel against her parents and say to herself her individuality is more important than comforming to her tradition. The possibility is still low. Her provocative appearance is contradictory to her upbrining. So she wants to be modern when her parents can't see her, but she meets her rich dream man she wants to cover those boobs up.
I don't know how helpful it is to remain her friend. She knows what she is doing to you and that feeds her ego. A cock teaser.
You haven't seen enough boobs in your life. Welcome to your world where everybody gets desensitized from over exposure.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Hi well you are a red blooded male so it is only normal to have these feelings and these urges that you want to have sex you are 25 so you are well ready to have sex, but as you no there is more to a woman than her boobs and if you cant marry this girl then am afraid you are at a lose because you cant have sex with her, so if she refuses to marry you i think you need to get her out of your life and look for someone who is willing to marry you and give you the life that you deserve.
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