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... Send *ISAG a private message | | | *ISAG's profile:Hi I'm 34 years old and so much wiser, richer, happier and more successful than I could ever have imagined 5 years ago! And trust me I thought I knew it all then at 29yrs ! I have had several long loving relationships since I was 17 years old and one bad relationship. My last relationship lasted 6 years, we are still friends now and this relationship was a friendship for 2 years before it turned to romance. I highly recommend getting to know someone before you get sexual with them, unless you're just after sex that is. I am not yet married but I have been asked a few times, I was just too young back then, (I was 23 when last asked). You think you know what you want at this age but you are always growing, maturing and realising stuff! I am so glad I didn't accept and because I didn't my 2 1/2 year relationship ended, it just wasn't quite right in my heart. I live in the UK, I own two houses, I work hard, earn good money, have lots of friends and I drive a factory tuned Lotus Elise (I love cars). I'm lucky that I've had a very good start in life in that I come from a good supportive loving family, never a spoilt child and not from a rich background either. I'm very interested in psychology and have read lots about human behaviour. I have read numerous relationship self help books which are good at keeping you focused if you do get dumped! Getting dumped is no fun at all, even if he's not the greatest guy in the whole, it still hurts and you wonder why the hell ? I've only been dumped a couple of times so I have faith in how I conduct myself generally. Getting dumped does knock your confidence and self esteem, but this is when you keep listening to that positive voice in your head & ignore the negative one, (if you don't have a positive one, get one, you can learn positive thinking there are books about it) also your friends/family are there to comfort you and believe me usually you meet someone else next and you look back and wonder why the hell you were bothered about him! I am currently single but going on dates with men on a regular basis through a dating site. I joined one because of my working patterns being unsocialable. I do still go out most weekends pubbing & clubbing & live bands/festivals, but I tend to get chatted up by men who are just too young for me really (i.e 18-25). I do look young for my age which is a good thing and probably why ! I do think an age gap of plus 10 years is usually unsuitable. I have travelled and worked abroad in the past and I also highly recommend this, it builds character and there is so much in the world to get out and see, the more you see the more you want to travel. There is so much to life, and I know that I am just like most people, in that I am looking to meet someone to share life with. Not just anybody though, as you get older and you grow in confidence and learn more about yourself, then you are then in a much better position to make balanced judgements on people and decide what and who is really "right" for you. I am still learning to be completely comfortable out of a relationship, as I have been in them almost constantly since 17. I have learnt a great deal. I hope that I will find the time to answer as many questions as I can. I stumbled upon this site looking for an answer to a situation I am currently involved in with an ex boyfriend. I would guess from what I've read here already that this site is predominately a younger age group, but if I can put anyone's mind at rest in matters of love, life, friends and career then I am more than happy to offer my honest opinion - sometimes you won't like what I have to say and you might think differently, as with life you sometimes hear good advice but you don't act on it, later on you often realise that you should've taken the advice - that's life - sometimes you have to learn the hard way. A recent quote I read said something like "a clever person asks for advice, a wise person acts on advice". I look forward to helping anyone, especially anyone who has spent the time to read my blog !!! Lisa xxx |
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I'm just getting to know him but I think I love him and it gets me emotional. What should I do?
Q. i am 17 years old and there is a boy the same age as me at school and i really really like him. I am just starting to get to know him properly, by talking to him more face to face and on msn. I think he is really fit and he is really funny. I think ...
A. 19 December 2006: I would imagine that you are experiencing "lust" at this moment in time rather than "love". Take more time to get to know him. Do not tell him you think you love him ! Wait for him to reveal any feelings first or you could blow it. You don't ... (read in full...)
I like him and he said I'm special, but he got with my friend! I don't know what to do.
Q. I feel really upset at the moment, because this boy i really liked, got with my friend on saturday on her 15. me and him like muck around, he said he loved me. we've been quite far and i have given him head. but i want more with him, i want him ...
A. 13 December 2006: Sorry to say but if you were that special to him he wouldn't be off with another girl. Never confuse sex with love either, men want sex first and then think about whether they want a girlfriend. Be clever and withold sex, then you get to find out ... (read in full...)
We broke up, my best friend asked if she could have him, I said yes, now it's driving me insane!
Q. i just broke up with my boyfriend recently because he was way imature but 2 days after we broke up my best friend asked me if it would be ok if she asked him out so i told her yes. What was i thinking! Well,now its driving me insane! What should i ...
A. 13 December 2006: You didn't want him so it's fair enough that your friend can try him. You're just feeling a bit possessive and a little jealous but remember as you said he's immature anyway. She'll probably work this one out and get rid of him too ! Never worth ... (read in full...)
How do you know if someone is going behind your back?
Q. how do you know if someone is going behind your back?...
A. 13 December 2006: Something has happened to make you ask this question. What is it that makes you wonder ? I can offer more advice if you give more detail.... (read in full...)
I don't want a heart anymore
Q. i fell in love almost four years ago, it was the first, i had never been in a long term relationship before and it hit me like rain on a window pain. i needed teaching every way to act, i found myself in situations that i know know were disrespec...
A. 13 December 2006: Well many of us have been exactly where you are, you are not alone ! Time will make things better and there's no use regretting things and dwelling on what might have been. Your question sounds like a romantic poem, I think you have some great ... (read in full...)
This is the last chance I''ll ever have at love with someone I adore immensly!
Q. Greetings to everyone at dearcupid. ive just literally found this site and im glad i did. for about two years i have had enormous social problems and other things that drove me to severe depression, anxiety but have pushed myself forward cos i dont ...
A. 13 December 2006: Oh dear I think you are without doubt simply "in lust" - you are certainly NOT in love with this girl ! You hardly know her so you cannot be in love with her. Yes lust can feel amazingly strong and will make you think about someone 24/7. I think ... (read in full...)
Two months ago he was talking of marriage, but now says he can't see me in his future! How do I cope?
Q. Having a hard time coping. My boyfriend of almost a year broke it off with me. This came as a shock. At first he said that we may get back together. He just couldn't picture spending the rest of his life with me, and he needed time to think. ...
A. 12 December 2006: Well what did happen then between 2 months ago and now ? Any change in your behaviour or his ? Did he intitiate the conversation about marriage ? I tend to think you put pressure on him, 3 weeks is no time at all to "think things over" for a man. ... (read in full...)
In the 3 weeks since we split, she's been with 3 guys! Was I a fool-was she waiting for someone better?
Q. I got with this girl 2 years ago. It was both our first relationship. Now I'm 25 and she is 17. She lied about her age and told me she was 16 and working when we first got together. I took it bad and she was lying to her parents as well, and when ...
A. 12 December 2006: I think she's too young and still wanting to play the field. She is also a confirmed liar - you'll never believe another word that comes out of her mouth. You are not a fool, you are just acting a "human nature" response, we all do it and learn ... (read in full...)
He says he sort of has a girlfriend, but he gets nervous talking to me!
Q. dear agony aunt a boy who lives accross the road from me, looks as if he likes me alot! but yesterday i sent him an e-mail saying that i liked him and when he e-mailed back he said he used to fancy me, but he doesn't anymore and he sort of has a gi...
A. 11 December 2006: If he has clearly stated that he "used" to fancy you and "dosen't anymore" says it all quite clearly.. I'm very sorry this is probably not what you want to hear, but I think his "sort of" girlfriend is where his attention is now. You are young and ... (read in full...)
I love him so much I have considered 'stalking' him!
Q. im so in love with this bloke i have consided stalking him! is this back im still considering it?...
A. 23 November 2006: Please don't be ridiculous enough to stalk anyone ! I think it is quite natural to have the silly thought of stalking someone but actually doing it is a waste of time, against the law and will not get you anywhere ! Is it an ex boyfriend ? If so, ... (read in full...)
He's going away for christmas and I don't want him to go! Any suggestions?
Q. ok guys... i am so in love with this guy right?! and ive been looknig forward to spending time with him this christmas, only to find out that he is goin overseas for the holidays... i am so heart-broken... he didn't tell me but someone else told ...
A. 21 November 2006: Do nothing ! Just tell him you were looking forward to seeing him at xmas but don't mope about it, you can spend the next lifetime of xmas's together in the future hopefully ! If he says he feels deeply for you then he does, I guess this is a ... (read in full...)
He accidentally called my by his ex gf's name a few times. I am hurt...what can I do?
Q. I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years now, when we first got together he called me by the name of his ex girlfriend, this was a mistake and ok. He was with her for 4 years and she was his first real love...However we mentioned her na...
A. 21 November 2006: Nothing to worry about at all ! I still do this occassionally with men too, it means nothing - nothing at all ! Also my ex calls me by his current girlfriends name by mistake every now and then too ! It's purely a slip of the tongue !... (read in full...)
Not sure if he'll say yes or no...so should I still ask him out?
Q. i like a guy but i dunno whether i should ask him out because i dont know whether he will say yes or no, he's cute but i dont know him really well i only know him slightly but i know he is really sweet...
A. 21 November 2006: Well why not ? What have you got to lose ?... (read in full...)
I'm going through a real hard time in my life right now...I need some advice!
Q. I am going through a hard time in my life at the moment and I really need some advice - really on how to deal with everything. I am having several health problems, nothing life threatening - as far as i know anyway but i'm having to see doctors ...
A. 21 November 2006: It's human nature to not like change with regard to many situations. But time will ease your "change sickness". Also very well done for giving up smoking and being determined to stick to it, I'm a smoker and gave up for 6 mths earlier this year ... (read in full...)
We broke up but.. we both can't afford to move out from the same place! What now??
Q. Hi I dont know if anyone can offer me any advice or not but here goes. I split up with my boyfriend a couple of days ago basically because of my insecurity/jealousy/mis-trust. It's bizarre but I dont actually think he has cheated on me or if...
A. 21 November 2006: Well if your situation has to stay as it is then you'll have to make the best of it. Treat him like you would a friend, but yes I think laying down some house rules is a good idea - but you both have to do this together and agree. Ideally it would ... (read in full...)
He won't open up w/ me because he thinks I'll kick him out - but I won't! What do I do?
Q. Hello... I've been in a relationship for about 3 years, and have lived with my fiance for about a year. Things are usually good, except for these fights we have. It will start out a stupid small argument, and end up on something completely off t...
A. 21 November 2006: Sounds like living somewhere else would be a much better option. Why not rent the condo out and move to neutral ground where you both have equal say? Although you do not say in what way you are disabled ? As I was wondering if your condo might be ... (read in full...)
CArried all my doubts and worries from the past relationship into the new one...what should I do?
Q. Hello, My problem is more to do with myself. I was very involved with someone for three years, and had my heart broken as well as my esteem. I had let my boyfriend of three years walk all over me. I learned, however a year later I am now I'm dat...
A. 21 November 2006: You need to build up your self esteem and you must trust your new boyfriend otherwise you will destroy this relationship like you fear. Force negative thoughts out and concentrate on what is real and good. You say you have no reason for it so keep ... (read in full...)
I feel like she's having second thoughts... Is she?
Q. My girlfriends emotions seem very flip-flopped. When she has a very bad day, it's "impossible" for her to say "I love you" to me, even if I say "I love you" first. She claims that she does, but just can't say it... it's very confusing. Many other ...
A. 21 November 2006: Just because someone dosen't say they love you every day dosen't mean they don't ! Saying "I love you" every day can even take the importance of what it means away. It sounds like you might be smothering her a little. I would personally be ... (read in full...)
I need to prove to my bf that nothing happened between me and this other guy! What can I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend on and off for a few years now and he recently moved into the same city as me. At one point in time when we were split up I started hanging out with another guy...nothing happened. However he has run into people who ...
A. 21 November 2006: Why do you have to prove yourself ? Even if something did happen whilst you two were split, you were split so there was nothing wrong with hanging with another guy ! Trying to go out of your way to prove it could even make you look guilty of it. ... (read in full...)
I trust her but I don't trust her ex bf! He sends her texts so what can I do about him?
Q. My Girlfriend 11 month's ago told me her ex boyfriend txted her saying " y don't u come to my house " she txted back " y would i? " he txt her saying " so i can f**k you " (she let me read the txt's) now i got mad at this and he was lucky i didn't ...
A. 21 November 2006: I would just carry on trusting her. Get confident, she's with you now. Forget him. She will start to resent you if you do not trust her. Don't talk about him, don't let him bother you. Also beware that accusing people of behaviour often invites ... (read in full...)
He hasn't texted me today and this is unusual! Should I worry?
Q. hey people My bf is away at the moment and although i find that hard to cope with whats killing me at the min is that i havent heard from him today I know what your thinking One day big deal but i always usually hear from him and its te...
A. 21 November 2006: Sounds like this guy is your entire life - bit of a worry if anyone revolves their entire life around one other person. That in itself is a strain for the other person. Sounds a bit over dramatic that you're feeling like having a panic attack ... (read in full...)
Engaged and together a year..but we've lost that spark! How do we get it back??
Q. I've been with my fiance for about 1 year and 3 months. We've been having some problems. I don't feel the connection we once had that mad me feel like I was walking on air. We argue a lot. I think mainly because we're together a lot but, I need to ...
A. 21 November 2006: Time apart from each other does work, you get to miss one another. I don't mean to split, I mean to make time for yourself on your own and he will have to too. See more of your friends, hobbies etc. Living in each others pockets is a strain for ... (read in full...)
I'm 18..he's 43--How do I tell him "You're too old for me I'm not attracted to you, sorry!" He's really persistant!
Q. I wrote a question a while ago this is a sort of follow up but different... I met his guy at the club (2 months ago), he wasn't my type I'm not attracted to him but I gave him my number to be polite. Big mistake. I let him come round my house. We ...
A. 21 November 2006: Forget tactful niceties, be assertive, say what you mean, be mean - it won't kill him will it !! Or you could tell him you've met someone else and you're sorry and don't want him to contact you and leave it at that. It's more hurtful to be ... (read in full...)
He can't make me orgasm and his self esteem is suffering..what can we do?
Q. I feel frustrated, his self esteem suffering... For some reason, I can't orgasm when his fingers go south. I know the big reason is because we both aren't very experienced. Any advice? We are very comfortable with each other, so it's not that; m...
A. 21 November 2006: I don't think the reason is that you aren't very experienced. It should make you feel better to know that I also have never had anyone's fingers be able to get pressure consistent enough for me to come either and I'm very experienced in the ... (read in full...)
I was doing all the chasing so I eased back. Now he hasn't contacted me at all! What's going on?
Q. hiyaa iv been speaking to this boy on msn for 2 years now, we just clicked and we both really like each other, we meet up regulary now and we always talked everyday, txting, msn, phone but i got the feeling that i was the one doing all the chasing! ...
A. 21 November 2006: I second the above - 4 days is nothing. He'll be in touch, just you wait and see... well I'm pretty almost dead certain he will.
He'll be wondering what you've been up to !... (read in full...)
He gets to flirt with other people... I don't. What's really going on in his head?
Q. Does he still love me? My bf says he loves me, but lately it just seems like he says it to keep me around rather than actually meaning it :( he meets up with girls and constantly flirts, but says i cant meet up with my guy friends and h...
A. 21 November 2006: Well flirting often comes from feeling totally insecure, but I do have to err on the side of being negative here. I don't reckon you'll bring yourself to finish it, the only other thing you can do is turn this round on him. I can't believe you say ... (read in full...)
My friends ex really want to be with me and won't stop trying even though I told him I don't want to hurt my friend!
Q. One of my friends ex boyfriends has asked if I would like to start seeing him. She is very upset about the split still and seeing him would be very hurtful to her. I would also be likely to lose her as a friend and in likelihood another two friends ...
A. 21 November 2006: So this guy is threatening to go against your wishes and stir up between you and your friends ? He has no respect for you wishes and I reckon he thinks he's going to win you round someway. Make it crystal clear to him that all this will do is ... (read in full...)
I'm 41, he is 57 - is the age gap too much?
Q. Looking for a man's answer as well. I am 41 years old and my boyfriend is 57 - this age difference has never been a problem for me, but it rears it's ugly head from time to time, like now, and it causes him to have concerns...
A. 21 November 2006: Funny one this, in fact my sister and her husband have 13 years between them, she's 43, he's 56. They have been married for over 19 years now (3 kids) and seem quite happy, BUT recently my mum told me that my sister is now starting to notice the ... (read in full...)
She got a DUI, I was supportive, then she broke it off with me!
Q. Met this woman a few months ago, things were going great until she got arrested for DUI...That shattered her world, she has never been the same since...I've been very supportive but the next day of her court date, she broke off with me saying she ...
A. 16 November 2006: Lost feelings usually mean, sorry to say, lost feelings. Don't bother with her unless she bothers with you. Let her contact you, she's not confused is she? She just got done for drink driving or drug driving whichever or both a DUI stands for. ... (read in full...)
He keeps bumping up against me in the canteen line at school...do you think he likes me?
Q. im 16 and i fancy this boy at school. in the canteen when we were queuing up 2 get into the food bar its always quite crowded in there. we were tlking and he always pushes in 2 me gently but this time he pushed into me gently and we just stayed t...
A. 16 November 2006: I think he likes you.... (read in full...)
what do girls look for in guys?
Q. i really like this girl. i'm 16, she's 14. we only met once before. we had a nice chat. now were meeting again with mates for evening out. what do girls look for in guys? any tips? i want to leave with her number. what qualities do girls look for? ...
A. 15 November 2006: Confidence is very attractive, don't be "over nice" or "over keen" to start with, be cool but friendly enough and ask for her number, she should respond by asking for yours too. Take it from there.... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my partners brother!
Q. ok here goes!!! My partner and I are very happy but recently have been getting feeling for my partner's brother :( We flirt all the time and have such laughs. He has also admitted his feelings and this is just an awful space to be in. What can I ...
A. 15 November 2006: I'm not sure quite how to advise as this is a very difficult one. I personally would go with my feelings, but only if they are really that strong. Or realise that maybe you're not as happy with your current partner as you think. Probably the best ... (read in full...)
Should I have disregarded my friends and family's advice on dumping my BF?
Q. I always thought that my relationship with my man was a bad one because it wasn't perfect. Since then I've looked at other people's relationships of people my age, and I've realised that every relationship has it's faults. My man lied and exadurat...
A. 15 November 2006: First of all most important things ever is that YOU are number ONE, no one else. It's your life NO ONE ELSE's. Take this relationship as a part of a learning curve, listen to your family and friends, they love you - he dosen't, otherwise he'd be ... (read in full...)
we hung out and had sex, should I get in contact with him?
Q. So really lilke this guy but am aware that our arangement is only gona be casual and i'm good with that im 21 don't want a serial relationship at the mo... But am wondering if i should get in touch with him, i flirted with him then invited him to a ...
A. 15 November 2006: I take the view that if a guy wants to know, he will let you know i.e. text you first. Let him chase you, at least then you will not feel embarrassed for texting him if he ignores you... when people like you they don't forget you easily - I mean ... (read in full...)
Been together 3 years and he has never made me cum!
Q. I have been with this guy for 3 years. We have been having sex since we were 5 months into our relationship. I have not had an orgasim and he can not make me cum while hes on top. I have to fake it and finish the job later on myself. Is their ...
A. 15 November 2006: Nothing wrong at all. Penatrative sex alone does not make your average female cum - it's fairly rare! Women fake orgasm to save men's feelings usually, when really women should show men how to make them come. What you do when you finish yourself ... (read in full...)
I really want a vibrator, does that mean Im weird?
Q. Okay, so, I really want to get a vibrator...but I am only 16 so I cant go into a sex store to buy one...what should I do? How should I get one? Am I weird for wanting one? Or is it kind of normal? I feel weird about it and dont want to tell any...
A. 15 November 2006: Not at all ! Order online, companies online will send to your address in plain packaging (in case you're worried about your parents). I have two, they are brilliant fun! Get one, you're not weird - you're normal !... (read in full...)
I lost my virginity to him, should I go out with him?
Q. Hi i recently lost my virginity to a good male friend of a 18 mnths we are really close and last week he disappeared and i was so worried, when he turned up we spent the eve together and snuggling in to watch the tv developed further. The problem is ...
A. 15 November 2006: If you're worried you used him, maybe you did, just to explore your sexually, quite usual really. You say you feel less for him than he does for you, good relationships I believe are based on equality in all sorts of ways, meaning you should both ... (read in full...)
Will sperm rot teeth?
Q. my question is; my girlfriend thinks that my sperm will rot her teeth. is this true? ...
A. 14 November 2006: No entirely untrue !!!!... (read in full...)
My ex said she needs space - then I saw her with a good friend of mine!
Q. Ok i've never done anything like this before, but here goes......... I just recently(1 month and 8 days) had a (what I thougth was great) 5 1/2 yr relationship end.(Not by my choice obviously) Everything was going good. I was planning to be engag...
A. 14 November 2006: Give her the space she needs, if she really loves you and wants to be with you she will come and find you in time. I would err on the side of the fact that it maybe over. Her friends will obviously be biased and protecting her. If she sounded ... (read in full...)
He makes excuses so I can't go to his place - do you think he still lives with his son's mother?
Q. Hello, I would like to ask if my man is being secretive about his living situation? We have been together six years and my boyfriend comes to my house at least five times a week. But there are at least two days that he doesn't come by or call. He ...
A. 14 November 2006: Sounds suspicious to me, you need answers to why you are not allowed to his house. Don't put up with excuses, you deserve to know what's going on !!! I mean what is the big secret ???? It's not normal behaviour if you ask me !... (read in full...)
My bf is in jail and my ex keeps trying to get back with me! How do I tell my bf what's going on?
Q. i am currently in a relationship and it is was goin really well i am really happy but last month my partner got sent to jail and ever since my ex has been hassling me to get back with him i have insisted i am happy where i am even tho he is inside ...
A. 14 November 2006: Tell your ex to back off and that he's wasting his time. I wouldn't worry my b/f in prison by mentioning it. I had a b/f in prison for a year so I have an idea what men go through and the time they have to think over everything. You don't want ... (read in full...)
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