| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriends emotions seem very flip-flopped. When she has a very bad day, it's "impossible" for her to say "I love you" to me, even if I say "I love you" first. She claims that she does, but just can't say it... it's very confusing. Many other times, it's so clear that she's trying to make me happy and that she starts to become open about a subject, but then she stops being so open and doesn't explain what's going on... whether she can explain herself or not, it's really irritating and she upsets me greatly when she does this. She says I can't understand and that she doesn't expect me to unless I was in her position... but that makes absolutely no sense... I feel like she's trying to dodge her way around saying that she's having second-thoughts about us... it's just all so confusing! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe finally opened up to me... I had to push it out to her, but she said "ask question and I'll answer them," and she did! Then she said she feels much better after being honest and true to me and that she should have done it from the start. We're still working on it, of course... she held a lot in and there's a lot to talk about, but we're actually talking about it now. I'm just trying to find the right words to say without making my response so soft, it becomes meaningless... because some of the things that she started doing became direct attacks on me... and I couldn't tolerate that any further. I'm sure everyone understands that.
A
male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (1 December 2006):
 Lay off her if you want her to stick around.
I had the same 'problems' with my ex, and she told me that she would say it when she meant it. Now that doesn't mean she doesn't care for you it just means that she's being honest with you.
Why would it mean more to you if she said it when you prompted her?
Your insecurities are going to push her away! If you were less insecure and gave her some space she'd probably come into her own. I think she's either had a difficult childhood or hurtful relationships and you constantly needing reinforcement is definitely gonna push her away . Please just bear with her and be more comfortable in your skin/relationship.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster: happy some of the time, miserable some of the time, confused ALL the time!
However, I have confronted her directly about this... and she is going to talk to me about it... like... today.
I basically told her "explain, or I can't trust that you love me anymore."
I was blunt, but it got the point across.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): The most simple way to look at it is this:
If YOU were saying the things that she is saying - would it mean you were having second thoughts?
Also, in the end, it doesn't really matter if she is having second thoughts or not, if you feel that you can tolerate her actions, it is an alert for you to consider if you are even happy.
Hope this helps. I have sooooooo- been there.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI see what you mean now... I don't think age has a prevalence in this, but yes, we are both teenagers... both young adults.
...............................
A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (21 November 2006):
 Just because someone dosen't say they love you every day dosen't mean they don't ! Saying "I love you" every day can even take the importance of what it means away. It sounds like you might be smothering her a little. I would personally be worried if someone says the "it's me, not you". Give her some space, don't tell her you love her every day, women don't need that all the time ! It becomes boring and unspecial. Leave her to it if she dosent want to talk. Women talk when they need to, listen carefully then. Don't pressure her or you might just pressure her away. You don't say how old you both are, I'm guessing you're quite young ? Need more info really.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE: yesterday she kept going on about how she's second-guessing herself... about a lot of things... and she couldn't make herself say "I love you" to me... saying she had to "prove" something (then saying prove maybe wasn't the right word)... then I asked her if she was also second-guessing us as well, and she said "not 'us'...more of the 'me' part of that....."
Is she just confused about everything in her life all at once and I'm just a victim of this confusion, or should I "prepare" for the break-up?
...............................
|
