My fiance and I are considering become a throuple with her ex girlfriend
Q. I've been with my fiancee Becky for 8 years, we got engaged in 2018 and are getting married in 2022; it was planned for 2020 but got cancelled, first due to our work schedules from January to March, and now the coronavirus pandemic. I'm 38, my wif...
A. 20 March 2021: Don't go there, dude. 3-ways are only a good idea in porn films. You and your woman need to present a united front against this trespasser and get rid of her. That means your woman needs to stop being so soft and tell her ex to disappear. ... (read in full...)
How can I let her know she has my permission to see other men and that I find it a real turn on?...
Q. A stranger asked my wife for a date. When she told me about it I was aroused. How can I let her know she has my permission to see other men and that I find it a real turn on?...
A. 17 February 2021: Don't go there, dude, unless you are bored of your marriage and looking for a way out. ... (read in full...)
Why does my ex girlfriend still have a profile picture of both of us on Facebook?
Q. Hi. I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago. I have looked at her Facebook account recently and noticed that she still has several profile pictures up of both of us as a couple and friends commenting what a nice couple we are and how happy sh...
A. 17 February 2021: Why does it matter to you? You broke off your relationship. Move on. It's none of your business. Maybe it isn't important to her and she hasn't got round to it yet. Maybe she doesn't want all and sundry to know her business on social media. ... (read in full...)
She cheated on me to lose her virginity. Am I making a big deal out of it?
Q. My girlfriend and I got engaged in February this year(2020), we had been together officially since June 23, 2017. She is a flawless woman with a wonderful soul to match. I came to know her in December, 2016 on a church outing, and I was taken by her ...
A. 31 July 2020: The fact she lost her virginity (sort of) to another guy would worry me less than her cheating. Can you trust her again? If not you need to walk away.... (read in full...)
I love him but can't let him hold me back
Q. Well I’m not too sure how to start but here goes nothing.... I’ve been with my partner for coming on a year now, we’re both the same ages (24). We are exactly the same person in some ways, it’s great we’re like best friends but some days we do ...
A. 15 July 2020: Why not just do what you believe is best and take it from there? Sounds pretty silly to be wasting time and money driving all that way when you have a convenient option. Tell him you are going to try staying at your mum's 2 nights a week to see how ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from my boyfriend in over a month I'm worried
Q. Hi my boyfriend when out of the country last March due to his dad being in COVID-19 we agree to email each other while he is away the recent email I received from him is May 26 which he told he will let me know first when he is coming back and then ...
A. 15 July 2020: Have you no other way of contacting him? I find it strange you only communicate by email. Is he really your boyfriend? If so I would read into his silence that your relationship is in the past. Not impossible something has happened to him but far ... (read in full...)
My heart is breaking, time for me to move on?
Q. I need help to move on from a past love interest. I have known a man who is 48 years old for 6 years from my walking group. I am in my 30s, I'm shy but am still able to interact with him. He is also reserved but popular with people in the group the ...
A. 15 July 2020: Well, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You have all the "evidence" you need directly from him to know he is not interested in having a relationship with you. You have had advice on this site but you still harp on about this ... (read in full...)
We had a disagreement and now he's not texting me
Q. Hi I have a very new thing going on for 2 weeks to early to call it a relationship we had a little disagreement over something silly just over a week ago now he’s gone very strange on me not texting me hardly only if I have text him which has only ...
A. 13 July 2020: You really like him after 2 weeks and an argument and him acting strange? Honestly, you need to ask yourself whether you want to waste any more time on this guy. This is a taster of what life with him will be like. Is this the sort of relationship ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to spend every minute of every day together?
Q. Hello. I hope all is well. I’ve been dating this guy I met at school for five months and this is my first real relationship. I just have a question since I don’t have much relationship / dating / experience. Is it normal to spend every minute of ...
A. 13 July 2020: No, if course this is not normal. Being in a relationship should add to your life, not take away. This guy sounds needy and controlling. You sound unhappy. He will probably get worse with time until he stifles you completely. Huge red flag waving ... (read in full...)
I told him I would leave if I caught him doing drugs. Its happened again but I don't want to confront him
Q. When I first met this guy, I knew he did hardcore drugs, but he just up and gave it up for me. We've been together almost 7 years now, and yesterday was the 3rd time he accidentally left a syringe laying around in his stuff, I was not going through ...
A. 12 July 2020: Get out and save yourself. You cannot save him but you are free to live life according to your values.
If he showed by his actions he loved another woman over you, you would walk away. Am I right? He has shown you he loves drugs over you. Why... (read in full...)
Why does it take so long for my answers to appear
Q. Why do my replies not appear for days sometimes? Does this site monitor everyone's replies? I read a post, write a reply then watch as loads of others pop up before mine eventually appears days later when everyone has moved on. Feeling despondent. ...
A. 9 July 2020: Thank you for your response. I didn't expect the question to be made public but couldn't see any other way of contacting the mods. ... (read in full...)
I thought it was a golden rule, so why do so many people break it?
Q. I’ve always heard that one of the golden rules of first dates is to never talk about exes. But often on first dates (or during online dating app pre-date talking), I'm asked about past relationships like how long did it last? why did it end? etc. ...
A. 8 July 2020: You can choose to answer or not any questions asked. You are an adult and can set your own standards. If you are not comfortable talking about exes, simply say so, politely but firmly. You can give as much or as little information as you want. You ... (read in full...)
I have issues I need to discuss with my boyfriend, please help me clarify them.
Q. I've been known my "boyfriend" (we're not official, at least he hasn't communicated that to me, but we act as if we are) since December of last year and finally met in person for the first time this June since COVID-19 sent me back home as I go to ...
A. 8 July 2020: You sound desperate to have a boyfriend. Any boyfriend no matter how immature and disrespectful. Even so far as calling him your boyfriend before you've even met. He's interested in having a phone/online buddy, not a girlfriend. Find yourself ... (read in full...)
I'd like to know if something is going on between my husband and his male friend, or am I just plain crazy?
Q. Hi everyone. I've got an issue at hand I could use some advice on. I don't know if I'm just crazy or what? I've been married for 8 years and although I love and trust my husband I have recently become weary of his friendship with his former lawyer. ...
A. 25 June 2020: I suspect you are overthinking this to the hilt. Certainly the emoji thing. Sending kissy emojis sounds like lighthearted banter to me. It's just a way of saying thank you. It doesn't mean the people exchanging the emoji want to exchange bodily ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that sometimes my boyfriend likes to use a ball gag on me during sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a healthy, regular sex life. My only concern is that sometimes he likes to gently use a blindfold, tie ups and a ball gag. I like the blindfold and being tied up, but I don’t love the gag. Is it a red flag that he even wants ...
A. 22 June 2020: I think your main issue is you are afraid of not being viewed as a "sport". This relationship is about both of you. If you don't like the gag, be honest and tell him. If you silently agree to it, he will assume you like it. He's not a mind reader. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for my girlfriends male colleague to stay over at her house?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship where my girlfriend lives in England and I'm in Wales. I haven't seen her since the end of March due to lockdown and even though things are now easing slightly regarding lockdown, the rules/guidance a...
A. 20 June 2020: She likes her younger men, doesn't she? Not surprised you are not comfortable with this. In your position I wouldn't like it either.
Difficult because you can't dictate who she sees as friends and she could tell you to sling your hook if you push... (read in full...)
We fought my husband has not forgiven me and is now talking about separating
Q. Hi! I really need your help to get out of this mess. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. Both of us are in medical profession. Two days ago we had a huge row regarding a business he recently started with one of his friends. We ended up ...
A. 20 June 2020: Rather than trying to win him round by apologising over and over, or just having this huge white elephant in the room, I think you both need to sit down and discuss this calmly and rationally. You need to make the best decision for both of you.
... (read in full...)
Snapchat causing issues
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for around 10 months. We’ve known each other off and on since we were kids and we’re surprised when we both realised we’d liked each other for so long. Unfortunately when we met he had a girlfriend and I don’t ne...
A. 18 June 2020: Hear that sound? It's the sound of your chickens coming home to roost. Admitting you "did wrong" doesn't make everything ok. Get them by cheating, lose them by cheating. There's a first time for everything but never a last time. You are both ... (read in full...)
I want to move on from a relationship that left me broken.
Q. This relationship has left me broken and I really don't know how to move forward. I was with him on and off for the past year and it was the best time of my life. We have so much in common, got along beautifully and never fought. He has a young son ...
A. 17 June 2020: Stop checking on him on social media. You are just prolonging your pain. He has moved on and it's none of your business what he's doing. You are just hurting yourself by checking on him.
You have only been with him for less than a year. He and t... (read in full...)
I found a lipgloss in my boyfriends car now what ?!
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now we have a baby together he’s 2 we also live together . So I would say this relationship is serious right?! Wrong !! So about two months ago I snoop though his phone and went through his Facebook I found a ...
A. 16 June 2020: You got pregnant by someone you had only been dating a short while so you never got to know him before having a child with him. You are now finding out all the stuff you should have found out before having a child with him. It takes two to have a ... (read in full...)
How do I help my friend who is in love with a woman who is wrong for him?
Q. I urgently need to help a friend of mine who is freshly,but blindly in love with a lady that do not match him. Hi there! A long time friend of mine is in a crash with a lady that it is very sudden and down right incompatible.let me rais...
A. 16 June 2020: Sounds like he is in lust (as opposed to love) with this lady. If he has little previous experience of relationships, he is probably overwhelmed by her and ecstatic that he is getting sex.
I understand you want to look out for your friend but he i... (read in full...)
I don't know how to deal with the angry man my partner has become.
Q. Hello everyone, i just need your opinion guys. Im with my partner for 5 years now. For First 3 years we are fine.. but slowly is changing. He used to be a good hard working man, but then suddenly it changes. Last year he stop working, he said he ...
A. 11 June 2020: Sorry if this sounds brutal but it doesn't sound like he has any wish or intentions to change so you basically have 2 choices: take it or leave it. You cannot force him to behave decently. That is all down to him. Surely it would be better to live ... (read in full...)
A long term friendship has become exhausting!
Q. Me and my friend have been friends for about 8 years. But lately I’m finding being her friend exhausting. She gets herself into silly situations that I have to help her through or to get her out of it. We lived together for 3 years at one sta...
A. 11 June 2020: She's very lucky to have a friend like you and I understand why you look after her.
Yes, she should definitely be getting professional help. You have been looking after her for years and not "saved" her despite your best efforts. She is simply s... (read in full...)
I'm sick of babysitting an immature co worker
Q. How do I tell my coworker that I am not here to babysit her sadness for her or to control the capacity she has for emotions. Everyone in the office literally caters to her when she pouts and screams. She’s laid on the floor at one point to get ...
A. 10 June 2020: Keep looking for another job and get out of there as quickly as you can. This sounds like a no-win situation for you. ... (read in full...)
The lease has been signed but I am now paying more than previously agreed to.
Q. Hello everyone, I am currently living with 4 roommates in a large city on the East coast. Needless to say, rent is extremely expensive and it's hard to find an apartment that isn't super small and has everything we want in a place. One of...
A. 10 June 2020: Unless you can get your landlord to accept less rent (unlikely) or get someone with more money to take over the lease on one of the other rooms (would need agreement of incoming and outgoing tenants and landlord), then yes, you are stuck for the ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of babysitting an immature co worker
Q. How do I tell my coworker that I am not here to babysit her sadness for her or to control the capacity she has for emotions. Everyone in the office literally caters to her when she pouts and screams. She’s laid on the floor at one point to get ...
A. 9 June 2020: I would treat her like any other petulant child by ignoring bad behaviour (how silly will she feel lying on the floor with everyone ignoring her) and praising professional behaviour. She is getting the attention she craves by behaving badly so has ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my neighbor about noise even though we've never met?
Q. Hello, I live in a students residence. I was trying to sleep, but I heard some noises coming from my neighbor's room. We don't know each other, never met. I am not sure if he is having sex with someone, or his bed is just very squeaky someho...
A. 7 June 2020: Was this a solitary one off or is it a regular thing? I would let the occasional noise pass but say something if it becomes a regular occurrence. Keep it friendly and light as falling out with neighbours who live in close proximity rarely ends well. ... (read in full...)
Is there a way out without destroying several lives?
Q. My former college girlfriend, who I have never stopped loving, contacted me at the end of August. Said she had left her husband of five years and planned to divorce him. We spent Labor Day weekend together at my house. After the holiday, she decided ...
A. 7 June 2020: Am I missing something here? Is the child's mother not fit or willing to care for her child?... (read in full...)
Why is this married coworker trying to come in between 2 single coworkers?
Q. So there is this colleague at work who used to be quite friendly. We both hail from the same city and had a good rapport with one another. We are both single. And we have been quite attracted to one another. I have been plannin to ask him out. But a ...
A. 3 June 2020: My guess would be she is doing her job and trying to get you to do yours. Whether it is allowed or not dating in the workplace is never a good idea. What is also not a good idea is carrying on your courtship in work time. You get paid to work. If ... (read in full...)
I feel I am being used and am unsure what to do.
Q. I rented a bedrm to a man 2 1/2 yrs ago. We were just room mates, not lovers. I am 30 yrs older than him.But before he left to go to prison he ask me to marry him and I did. I sent him money and letters the entire time he was gone. And when he got ...
A. 2 June 2020: A lodger who is 30 years younger than you asks you to marry him as he is about to go to prison and you didn't suspect he was using you in some way? Now he has come back and is using you for free lodging and you still don't know what to do? Are you ... (read in full...)
I'm confused by what this man said.
Q. I recently started talking to someone in a friendly way , he lives in another city to me and asked me, if I am I going to keep him up an night if he stays at mine as I said id like to spend the night with him, im just wondering if he will have ...
A. 1 June 2020: Pretty sure that's what he meant but then would have guessed it was what you meant too when you said you wanted to spend the night with him. To save embarrassment, crossed lines and subsequent bad feelings, always say what you mean. Don't be vague. ... (read in full...)
My wife says my vest is embarrassing.
Q. There's a TV show about a motorcycle club called Sons of anarchy. I bought a vest like the ones worn on the show by the actors. I have a motorcycle and I'm such a fan of that TV show. My wife says it would be embarrassing to wear it as people w...
A. 31 May 2020: Wear it with confidence. Draw other people's attention to it. Be proud of it. Most people don't even notice what others are wearing. If they don't like it? Fine, you are not asking them to wear it. Your wife worries too much about other people's ... (read in full...)
Is this guy trying to make me pregnant?
Q. Hi everyone This is my first time posting on this, and my friend told me its very helpfull, im not sure how much details to go into but this has really confused me and have asked a few people but not really had a answer lol, So a guy im seeing af...
A. 31 May 2020: Are you taking precautions? Babies need more commitment than "a guy I'm seeing". As for your question, nobody knows but him. Maybe it's something that turns him on. Maybe he thinks it turns YOU on. If you are considering having a baby together, ... (read in full...)
I need tips for dealing with the mother of my ex!
Q. My ex boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me almost two months ago, and his mom keeps contacting me. Why would she do it? I always had the feeling she didn't like me during the first years we were together as we have very different views ...
A. 29 May 2020: If you truly don't want contact but don't want to be rude either I would take longer and longer to reply and make your answers shorter and shorter. "Glad you are all well. All good here. Stay safe."
Keep that up for a while and she should e... (read in full...)
I have an enormous crush on my doctor. What do I do now?
Q. So here's my situation. I met my new GP a few months ago and she's been amazing. She's a great doctor. She gives me prescriptions for my current health issue. She sends me to specialists when I need them. She's always available for appointments. She ...
A. 28 May 2020: You are making a much bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. So you've got a crush on her. So what? People develop crushes all the time on all sorts of people - actors, footballers, teachers, even doctors. As long as you understand it's just a ... (read in full...)
I'm mourning a friendship that may have dissolved.
Q. I used to have very regular contact with a female friend whom I will name as "A" who attended the same church as me and we coordinated a youth ministry together with other team members. I was close to A and so were the other team members and ...
A. 26 May 2020: You say A hasn't initiated contact with anyone from the church but can you blame her? Sounds like she was judged by the church members because she chose not to marry another church member but rather to pursue a relationship outside the church.
... (read in full...)
Is she smitten with me?
Q. I am confused and more unsure than I have ever been. I have always been a good guy who is confident and I always know what to do. But with this lovely woman I am unsure. We work together, and she is in a relationship she is dissatisfied wit...
A. 25 May 2020: Not sure how you think you are respecting her relationship. You are most certainly not respecting her fella, messing with her in this way. If you were to go out with her, would you be able to trust her? Would you be ok with her having the sort of ... (read in full...)
Blocked, I'm angry at how all the blame is on me, should I send a letter and a gift?
Q. I was seeing a girl and she has a boyfriend, who she got just a few weeks after we met. Turns out she wanted to see both of us. But recently finally, the boyfriend found out her secret. She was out with me, and he got security to bget into her room ...
A. 25 May 2020: Come on bro. She has made it plain you are not her priority. Telling you she prefers sex with you was her way of keeping you hooked. Grow a pair and move on. ... (read in full...)
Why did he ghost me after acting so insecure ?
Q. For the past 4 weeks I have been going on dates with a guy I met in a grocery store in March. At first i was a little skeptical because he’s a tad bit older but not by much. On our first date we met up at Dairy Queen. We talked for three hours , ...
A. 22 May 2020: You've already written in once about this guy and completely ignored all the advice. I'm assuming that was because you didn't agree with it which is absolutely fine but why repeat the post a couple of weeks later? ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.
Q. My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...
A. 22 May 2020: Someone who could lie to you about losing their own daughter and granddaughter is either evil, manipulative or has severe mental issues. Maybe all 3 as they are not mutually exclusive. Dude, stay well away. You cannot fix this. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.
Q. My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...
A. 21 May 2020: How badly does she need to dis you for you to grow a pair and give her her marching orders bro? She went out with her mate, picked up a guy and ended up naked in bed with him. She messages other guys and ends with kisses. She is behaving like she is ... (read in full...)
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