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*ustryingtohelp

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< Prev123Next > [3 pages, 66 answers]

Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.

Q.   My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...

A.   22 May 2020: Someone who could lie to you about losing their own daughter and granddaughter is either evil, manipulative or has severe mental issues. Maybe all 3 as they are not mutually exclusive. Dude, stay well away. You cannot fix this. ... (read in full...)

Where did I mess up with the LDR who faded on me?

Q.   This girl and I first met a couple of years ago, casually hanged out a couple of times, then went back to our own countries on the opposite sides of the world. A few months later, we briefly met one more time when I travelled to her country; we had ...

A.   21 May 2020: I suspect the something else that happened in her life was a "someone else" so she's had to sideline you. LDRs are difficult enough if you already have a steady relationship to build on but usually pointless if that is all you have. You were a ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.

Q.   My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...

A.   21 May 2020: How badly does she need to dis you for you to grow a pair and give her her marching orders bro? She went out with her mate, picked up a guy and ended up naked in bed with him. She messages other guys and ends with kisses. She is behaving like she is ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with the incredibly annoying and somewhat creepy flatmate that I'm stuck with during lockdown?

Q.   I'm currently living away from home in the UK, sharing a flat with three others. Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus lockdown two of them have gone to live with their friends nearby a couple of months ago, so it's just me and a male flatmate whom ...

A.   19 May 2020: Although it's not your problem, it might help to keep at the back of your mind that your flatmate is probably feeling lonely and isolated at the moment. Also he is probably living a fantasy "trapped" in a house with a female he sees as his "type". ... (read in full...)

How do I move on from the fixation on my crush

Q.   So I have a crush on a guy. We were meant to meet for a walk a two weeks ago but a misunderstanding/miscommunication happened and we didn't end up meeting. He asked if I could meet the following day but I said i was busy with clients. He has...

A.   14 May 2020: Why do some women - I include you in this group - think the guy has to do all the running? After your "misunderstanding" he asked you out again but you gave him what many guys - myself included - might see as a brush-off. Guys can be sensitive and ... (read in full...)

He only wanted friendship before now it appears he wants more but his ex is pregnant

Q.   My heart is really hurt and I don't know what to do. Maybe I know what to do but I don't like having to do it. Any suggestions? My qualifier (call him Ted) and I are both AA members to the same group and I have known him several years. When we f...

A.   12 May 2020: He may be kind and you may feel you have a lot in common but he sounds irresponsible and immature. Assuming he's of a similar age to you, he should know how not to impregnate females he's not in a steady relationship with. It's not rocket science to ... (read in full...)

Should I ask him if he still wants to bother

Q.   Hi! So I have been speaking to this guy for a few weeks now - met on tinder but have talked on the phone and everything. He’s after a relationship as he said he’s had enough of one night stands or whatever (this isn’t the point of the question ...

A.   11 May 2020: In an ideal world people would treat others in a decent manner. We don't live in a perfect world though and some people don't care how their actions affect others. Sounds like he either doesn't have the manners or maybe the balls to tell you he's no ... (read in full...)

I feel devastated at his betrayal. Do I move on?

Q.   Hi. just wanna ask some advices. so i have this LDR bf for a year and 4 months now.bwe met in person January 2020. things went well and planned future together. as we continue being in a LDR, its not easy to keep the relationship strong and healthy. ...

A.   9 May 2020: Sorry but it always makes me smile when people (males and females alike) say "it's over" and are then surprised the other person just says "ok". Lesson for the future: don't expect anyone to chase you. If I understand your post correctl... (read in full...)

I want to help my boyfriend deal with his past sexual abuse

Q.   Hi all. I wasn't sure where else to ask this, but I am not sure what my best actions can be. While drunk, my boyfriend recently divulged some information to me about his past. Basically when he was 14 (he's 28 now), an older woman (early-mid ...

A.   8 May 2020: He says he is ok. Why do you not believe him? I understand you are angry but it is still new and raw to you. He's had years to get his head round it. This is HIS trauma, not yours. Don't get involved unless he requests it. He shared the information ... (read in full...)

How can my ex be so cold about the ending of our relationship?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend coming up three years, but we split up three weeks ago. A few days ago he said it's not when he will miss me because he missed me already. He wouldn't outreach tell me the relationship was over but despite asking him to ...

A.   7 May 2020: You are still at the start of this breakup but he probably came to the decision a while back and the physical separation was just the end piece of the manoeuvre. He won't have woken up one morning and out of the blue decided the relationship was ... (read in full...)

It feels like a slap in the face to provide everything for this relationship and not even get the respect of an adult conversation.

Q.   Hello! I have been in a relationship for over two years. My SO hasn’t worked most of our relationship. I have an apartment that he pretty much stays at unless he goes home after a fight. I am constantly stressed about bills and responsibilities ...

A.   7 May 2020: He's right when he says your feelings don't matter because to him they don't. Doesn't sound like he has any intention of changing anything about the current situation because why should he? He's living free with you (if not free then certainly not ... (read in full...)

Am I still a virgin if we didn't actually have sex

Q.   Me and this guy were just hanging out and we start making out he tells me if I’ve ever had sex and I say no so he says he’s just going to put the tip in he try’s and I told him to stop he tries again and it hurt even more so I said no he said he got ...

A.   6 May 2020: Really? That's your biggest worry? Not pregnancy? Not STD? Just whether you are still technically a virgin? ... (read in full...)

I hate my husband for putting me down

Q.   I hate my husband! I'm am clumsy person and makes unintentionally tiny mistakes. He always calls me stupid, retard, etc. I have a master's degree and I come from a good family. I don't call people's names even if I am mad. My husband said I'm weak ...

A.   6 May 2020: Doesn't sound like there is much hope of him changing so guess what? It's down to you to force change. Walk away and start a new life. The longer you leave it, the more time you waste. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Start ... (read in full...)

Why does the Guy I’m seeing ask me insecure type questions ?

Q.   Met this guy a month ago and he’s been pursuing me for awhile. First night we met up he cooked and baked cookies for us. he begged me to come over again and i did. But the second time i ended up spending the night and we had sex. I stayed again this ...

A.   6 May 2020: Whatever the ins and outs of this situation, why don't you just admit this guy is not right for you and walk away? You are wasting your own time and his by pretending you are into him by having sex with him. ... (read in full...)

Is it time for me to finally move on?

Q.   A few years ago I fell for a friend. We spent a lot of time together and all of his words and actions signalled he had romantic interest. I did not know where I stood with him so I asked him and he started panicking and said “he might have been ...

A.   1 May 2020: If you can't handle seeing him, then surely that is where you start. It's time to find a new interest so you can stay away from the walking groups. Or find groups where he is not a member. ... (read in full...)

Since getting a job my boyfriend's behaviour has changed.

Q.   I've been dating this guy for a year now. He's good and wonderful but one thing I don't like about him is when it comes to money. For example, during valentine's Day he couldn't even get a chocolate or even a cup of water. It wasn't that he w...

A.   1 May 2020: I do wonder why you are so worried about hurting his feelings, given he seems oblivious to yours. It seems he was happy to put in the effort when he was trying to impress you but, now that he feels he is secure in the relationship, he doesn't ... (read in full...)

I recognise the man on the dating site, and he is MARRIED!

Q.   Dear Cupid. I'm on a dating site and have had a man message me saying "Hey how are you going :)" and "Your super cute, love to know more about yourself!? Feel free to ask me anything" Anyway, I Looked this guy up on facebook because I recogni...

A.   30 April 2020: Unless his wife is a friend, which doesn't look like the case here, it is really none of your business, although I do understand the temptation. Why not just message him back asking how his wife is and if she knows he's trying to pick up women on... (read in full...)

Can anybody help me work out what is going on in this guy's head?

Q.   I met a guy in college and we were really good friends, we got on well with each other and it felt as if we had known each other for years. A few months into the friendship this guy was always looking for excuses to text me like asking for a book ...

A.   29 April 2020: The guy's a jerk. Even he admits that. He picks you up and drops you as it suits him. He is not going to change. Why are you wasting time on this loser? You may want clarifications, explanations and closures all you like but he owes you none of ... (read in full...)

I'm struggling with waiting to see what happens with this guy after lockdown ends.

Q.   Before Corona virus hit I had been on a few dates with a front line doctor. We’ve known each other very loosely for a few years. I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink back in February then we had a great three dates before this hit, includ...

A.   28 April 2020: Two things come to mind. Firstly, you are not in a real relationship after 3 dates and a sex session. You can't reasonably demand regular contact from someone who is essentially a casual date at best. Secondly, what is stopping you (either of you) ... (read in full...)

I don't think I should be his go to person every time he needs something

Q.   My story is as old as world. Here it goes: I am in my 40s, moderately comfortable financially , love to travel . One day decided to go to Africa and met a guy. My age, divorced , bringing up his small son. And taking care of couple relative...

A.   28 April 2020: Sounds to me like you didn't mind giving this guy money when you were spending a couple of months at a time with him but now feel aggrieved because you are not (to put it in the simplest terms) getting your money's worth out of him. Nothi... (read in full...)

Living at home again and sister is driving me crazy

Q.   My sister is 8 years younger than I, unfortunately due to financial issues I'm back living at home, and during this lockdown I don't think I can cope with her. She has aspergers which has gotten milder with age, but she has a tendancy to use it more ...

A.   27 April 2020: You are in your 30s. You are back under your parents' roof for financial reasons. You are back in what your sister sees as "her territory". Can you really not just be grateful your family have taken you in and act the adult in this situatio... (read in full...)

Is there a such thing as an obsessed partner?

Q.   Me and my fiancé have been together for almost 4 years lately I feel myself being more and more unhappy because I feel that I can’t balance time between him and my kids and myself. My fiancé seems to be very needy for my attention and when I can ...

A.   27 April 2020: Assuming he's always been like this, why have you stayed with him and even got engaged? You are sending him the message that his behaviour is not only acceptable but actually good. ... (read in full...)

Lockdown is keeping me away from my mistress. Wife is boring but don't want to lose her while going after mistress

Q.   My wife is wonderful. Good at saving money and gets me everything I need. But my mistress is kinky and she will do anything for me. She will wear kinky clothes and let's me do anything to her. She cries when I have to go home. Now it's lockdown an...

A.   27 April 2020: Is this a joke? Are you a troll with too much time on your hands? ... (read in full...)

He treats me like a queen but we are incompatible sexually! Should I stay with him?

Q.   I met my current bf a few years after my divorce( with my hs sweetheart and first) and after a rebound relationship. I found him to be the sweetest guy( very polite, helpful, responsible and very attentive) After dating for a couple of years( and ...

A.   3 April 2020: So you've told him what YOU want and he's told you what HE wants but nothing has changed from either party, not because either of you is right or wrong but because you want very different things when it comes to intimacy. The ball is in your court. ... (read in full...)

I want my ex back but not if he's been with someone else

Q.   I split with my bf of 3 years last autumn. We have both joined the same dating site and I can't seem to focus on dating as he's always on there. I've now deleted it as its causing me anxiety. I was thinking of getting back with him as love him but ...

A.   4 March 2020: If HE left YOU, is he even interested in getting back with you? Is a reconciliation even an option? Why would it matter who he had dated while you two were not in a relationship? After all, you were on a dating site as well. ... (read in full...)

We've broken up but he talks as though we're still together

Q.   Hi I’ve recently broken up with my partner due to a few reasons we split up nearly 2 weeks ago but he is acting as though we are still together he won’t talk to me about any problems we have this is one of the reasons I ended it but now he’s talking ...

A.   15 August 2019: Cut contact with him. Block his number so he can't phone you. Walk away from him if he talks about stuff you don't want to hear. What's so difficult?... (read in full...)

My husband wants us to stays friends with the woman he cheated with!

Q.   My husband cheated on me years ago. He hid it and never told me. When I found out he lied and said it was before we met and I should have asked him about her. But it wasn't. So he lied about his lie. He kept her as part of our friendship circle, but ...

A.   7 April 2017: Seriously? Do you think you don't deserve better? Of course you do. Give him his marching orders. ... (read in full...)

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