A
female
age
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*voryangel1
writes:I rented a bedrm to a man 2 1/2 yrs ago. We were just room mates, not lovers. I am 30 yrs older than him.But before he left to go to prison he ask me to marry him and I did. I sent him money and letters the entire time he was gone. And when he got out this (my home) is where he came back to. He has been home since Jan. and still sleeps on the couch, has not had sex with me, and when he was drinking one night told me He was never sexually attracted to me. But he loved me. He went to work for the same co. he was at before as the owner told him he would franchaise him when he got home. So now all the money he makes goes into the company, none into this house hold. I feel I am being used, then and again now. What should I do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2020): What you should do is wake up! you know you are been used and you know that he has told you some of the truth. You know you will never get what you really desire. You are letting him use you and he is doing it openly, you can, of course, settle for this existence that won't last long anyway, or you can act like an adult and start living your own life without the teenage dramas. Romance and drama is not what life is all about. Have you spent your money wisely and experienced the world? no, you senT your money to prison and waited in your own prison. He married you to keep his little nest egg safe from other predators, while he did his time.
You know the truth really but feel you are too old to start again. The good news is, you are never too old to love, you are never too old to do something adventurous, and make happen all those things in your life happen, that you have never done. Maybe you have done everything, I don't know, but waste not your time, as it is precious.
Why not join a Tango dance class or something, passion can be found in dancing and a good social support network of friends. it won't hurt you.
I hope the divorce does not break you financially as well. Wake up!!!!!
A
male
reader, Justryingtohelp  +, writes (2 June 2020):
A lodger who is 30 years younger than you asks you to marry him as he is about to go to prison and you didn't suspect he was using you in some way? Now he has come back and is using you for free lodging and you still don't know what to do? Are you unsure because he told you he loves you? He loves what you provide for him. As soon as he meets someone nearer his own age who he does feel sexually attracted to he will be off. Open your eyes and stop this user taking advantage of you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2020): What do you think you should do? Read your post as if it were written by somebody else.
You are 30 years older than this man. My dear, what were you thinking? It appears the manipulation goes both-ways. You did something very impulsive, now you have to ask for advice. I think you know the answer, perhaps you just need some encouragement and a little sympathy.
I am sorry how things worked-out; but I think you knew in the back of you mind that this is how they would.
Schedule yourself a consultation with a divorce attorney. You've never consummated your marriage. Perhaps you can get an annulment. The lawyer will tell you which is best in your situation, divorce or annulment. I only recommend that you do it as soon as possible.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (2 June 2020):
 Toss him.
First speak to a lawyer, quietly, and find out exactly what your rights and responsibilities are.
Consider getting a safe deposit box. I recommend this for anyone, anytime. You never know what can happen. Keep important, official, or even sentimental items there.
Secure your valuables, change passwords to every account you have an make sure the security questions are not things he already knows the answers to.
Build a support network.
The above suggestions are not meant to be punitive to him, but to safeguard you and your valuables.
You're his meal ticket, and he might not take too kindly to having that taken away from him. I don't know what he went to prison for, but apparently, respecting other people's boundaries is a problem for him.
When you've done all of the above, toss him.
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