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... Send *elpjayne a private message | | | *elpjayne's profile:i like to give advice to people
i'm far from being in any way perfect
i have been through quite a bit which i hope i can relate to people about.
i have kool boyfriend
i live in the u.k
and i really like this website because one comment off someone you don't even know can make you feel better about everything.
i don't believe anybody has the right to judge me
i make up my own mind and i do not follow the rules of what is and isn't socially acceptable. i don't believe anyone has the right to tell me how to live my life but i like it when people share similar experiences with me.
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He says I'm overreacting to his drug use...
Q. hi, i seem to be at a dead end with my new relationship and suppose i need feedback and a little advice on what exactly i should do. ive been in a relationship for 5 months now and he is great he is very affectionate, wonderful lover, interact...
A. 13 November 2008: ofcourse you have the right. you care about him and he should understand that, if he truly respects you he will listen to you and your concerns and if he makes you feel like you don't have the right then he's not worth it i mean it's not like your ... (read in full...)
He says I'm overreacting to his drug use...
Q. hi, i seem to be at a dead end with my new relationship and suppose i need feedback and a little advice on what exactly i should do. ive been in a relationship for 5 months now and he is great he is very affectionate, wonderful lover, interact...
A. 12 November 2008: sit down with him calmly and tell him you don't like the idea of him taking these drugs tell him he's a completely different person to you on the drugs and that you'd like it if he could stop taking them as much. it's not like he needs the drugs and ... (read in full...)
Christians waiting until marriage for sex, but how far should/can we go?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are both Christians and are waiting to have sex until we're married. I doubt we will end up marrying each other, but we are having a great relationship. I'm just concerned with how far we should go. We've made out a few times, a...
A. 12 November 2008: I had a christian friend and she believed that anything was ok as long as you are not as one before marriage, perhaps you could look further into your religious guidelines. ... (read in full...)
What should I do to make him say he loves me?
Q. My boyfriend does not tell me that he loves me, apparently because he believes love is a strong word and only exists for married couples. He tells me he likes me very much but I don't feel comfortable with it. We have been going out for a month now ...
A. 12 November 2008: Don't push him into telling him he loves you. if your having a great time with him your not wasting your time just some people find it hard to open up he might fear because you and him are not legally commited then if he tells you and lets his guard ... (read in full...)
My family keeps taking - stealing - the money that I've earned.
Q. Ok this isnt about any relationship but its about my mother. I'm really fed up with my mother wanting money from me because she wont get a job. i have a job and i get money. she owes me alot of money and my mother and father keep asking for more,...
A. 12 November 2008: they are not being very fair maybe instead of giving them money you could rent a flat or something or sit down with them and explain that your grateful for all they have done for you but you earn the money and your not going to be made to feel ... (read in full...)
I am having confusing urges for my father.
Q. I have recently been getting some rather foreign urges. I am a 23 year old female, who is going to school and living at home with my father. My mother passed away years ago and my father has never really gotten over it. I love my father with all ...
A. 12 November 2008: I think you feel you owe this to your father because it was so hard on him losing his wife and your mum but you're only getting these urges because you want to make your father happy. I think you could do with some time alone maybe go see a ... (read in full...)
Emotionally Abused
Q. I am with a guy that is emotionally abusive I guess. I don't feel like I can trust him at all. For some reason I just can't get myself to leave him. I love him so much, but he makes me hurt so bad. He broke up with me many times and says it is ...
A. 12 November 2008: Because he's made you feel so low about yourself that you think thats all your worth and your not tell him if you dont appreciate me as a woman then fine i'l go i really think you shud ditch this guy anyone deserves better than that im sure ur worth ... (read in full...)
I didn't like her until my friend started to date her.
Q. My friend is going out with this girl that i used to like. i didn't like her until my friend started dating her. What do i do?...
A. 12 November 2008: you can't like her that much otherwise you would have been intrested before your mayte started to date her it always goes you only want what you can't have. you only want this girl because now shes offlimits so the best thing to do is go out and ... (read in full...)
My wife wants a boob job... why does she think I don't find her attractive
Q. My wife wants a boob job because she doesn't think I don't find her attractive not sure where she got that idea. I told she doesn't need one and being a drama queen. I admit do look at other women and I do flirt with other women at work (she caught ...
A. 12 November 2008: It's pretty obvious she looks at them and thinks she's not good enough. Maybe her boob job is to grab your attention which is quite sad really, pay more attention to your wife and make her feel sexy and appreciated as a woman.... (read in full...)
Why do I have to be shallow- I want to be attracted to him!
Q. I have been dating this guy who is very charming, caring but physically less than average. I have never considered myself to be shallow and really don't want to be. I have always taken a lot of pride in my appearance and would be considered above ...
A. 12 November 2008: Take it slow and don't rush into it if you and him have a really good connection he could be the ugliest guy in the world and you'd still find him drop dead gorgeous even them huge moles will be attractive to you! Just take time out to get to know ... (read in full...)
Ready for our first kiss but not sure when or how?
Q. ok,im 11 and i have a girlfriend and we really are into each other. But, we both know we are ready to have our first kiss. But, i dont know when to do it and how to approach her. plz help me!...
A. 12 November 2008: you could try hugging and holding hands and then kiss her cheek to let her know that you want to kiss her then wen your ready give her a quick kiss and you can go from there first kiss is nothing to worri about you'l be fine. it will all come nat... (read in full...)
I asked him out and now everyone is mad at me!
Q. I need some advice, help, ok this really cute, nice, ect. guy in my class has a girlfriend, but i like him and he said he likes me but for some reason everyone thinks i asked him out but i didnt really. I just said if you and your gir...
A. 12 November 2008: get him to back you up on this and explain to the girl and your friends that you would never in a million years ask someone out that was already with someone, or you could tell a little white lie and say you liked this other guy and you were just ... (read in full...)
She doesn't appreciate anything I do, should I keep her?
Q. ok so i have been with my girlfriend for about 1yr and 6 mon. she has been living with me for 6 mon. this whole time i have been the only one working and i pay for everything food, if we go out, cigs, everything. i mean she does housework like ...
A. 12 November 2008: sit down with her calmly and tell her how hard you work to buy the things you like and that sometimes you just need to take it easy instead of having her bitch down your ear about things as soon as your home. perhaps she just needs reminding cause ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my boyfriend's best friend... any advice?
Q. i have been in a relationship for 4 years now and i love my boyfriend very much and im sure he loves me but a for a very long there has been another man i like, i have liked him before i meet my boyfriend when i was in school. but lately for the ...
A. 12 November 2008: perhaps this is just lust. your boyfriend has loved you for 4 yrs you've lusted after this other guy for a while but who ultimatly do u wana share all the fun experiences with? ... (read in full...)
He got meningitis and it made me realize I have feelings for him.
Q. Last week one of my good friends got meningitis :( he was in intensive care on a ventilator and no joke i just couldnt stop cryin :( i was so worried about him an visited him in intensive care and on the ward! i sent him wee msgs everyday for him to ...
A. 12 November 2008: have fun with him go places with him you could have almost lost him so now it's time for you to let your hair down don't worri about that right now if he likes you he will make it known one way or another show him the type of person you are and ... (read in full...)
She didn't say she missed me. Should I be alarmed by this?
Q. I have been dating this girl for about 3 weeks now, we get along great. we are on our fifth date now, we have kissed quite a bit, but nothing more than that. She has been very busy studying for her exam, so I haven't seen her in about a week. ...
A. 12 November 2008: she is probably thinking aww thats so cute but maybe she's unable to tell you she misses you cause she wants to play it kool. ur in for a lot of fun so maybe she means she's guna show you how much she missed you.... (read in full...)
I lied to get out of work and it's coming back to bite me in the butt!
Q. Hi...ok this is going to sound really messed up...and most of you are going to say somthing like "you should be ashamed of yourself!" But I felt desperate. So here is goes: I didn't feel like going to work and but I really don't have a good enou...
A. 12 November 2008: come clean to your family, their your family they have to love you no matter what right. they'l understand or you could tell your boss that you would consider it an insult if she sent you flowers as youd rather pay for them yourself instead tell her ... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant and my boyfriend won't quit lying or seeing girls.
Q. I am almost 8 months pregnant with my first child. I have only been with the father for 10 months. I know it happened fast.. but I wanted to keep the baby and I couldn't be happier. It's a girl. :) Since i've been with Richie he has done nothing but ...
A. 12 November 2008: you owe it to yourself and your baby to leave him. do you really want you little girl growing up thinking that it's ok to treat women that way. being a single mum will be hard but you'l be much happier on your own if thats the way he treats you. ... (read in full...)
Should I teach my roommates a lesson?
Q. I live with 5 other girls and they drive me insane!! They are so immature, loud and gossip non stop. They keep me up all night even when I nicely asked them to keep down. They are so interested in my personal life, since we share a wall, they listen ...
A. 12 November 2008: i think you should atleast have a say on this maybe you could all agree on a time it's not fair on you. tell them you have put up with enough of there immature behaviour and if that party goes over the time that you've all agreed on then you will do ... (read in full...)
Why can't I just move on from the past?
Q. everyone moved on with their lives. i want to do the same. im sick of crying all those nights and listening to music all day. why am i living in my past? why cant i just move on? btw im not 10 im 15 ...
A. 12 November 2008: iv been there my parents seperated having there own relationships and my siblings living away and not having many friends because they changed into people you don't like it's really hard you must be feeling really lonely maybe you could try talkin ... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex but he won't leave me alone!
Q. i met this guy only like 3 weeks ago. he is 15 and i am 13. he's already had sex before and wants to do it with me. he's not even my boyfriend. he keeps asking me to come to his house and tell him i don't want to. every time he asks me to come over, ...
A. 12 November 2008: he sounds like a user and i bet he hasn't had sex he probably only told you that to make him seem kool. don't be pressured into anything he's obviously not very respectful towards you. if he really won't leave you alone tell him you have a ... (read in full...)
Lying about my life just so he is interested in me!
Q. i am gonna sound so strange but here we go. Well recently i have made friends with this boy, and we have become really close, but i have been telling him lies, just so he is interested in me :( i told him i have 8 sisters 5 cars and my hair colou...
A. 12 November 2008: you could make out all innocent and say i was only messing about all them things unless you've gone into detail about them all then maybe it's a good idea to tell him the truth if hes a true mayte and he likes you he'l stick around if not atleast ur ... (read in full...)
Is it my fault that he can't be on the internet, text or call?
Q. I dont know if its my fault or not, but im in a internet relationship with a boy who i really do love, and his mum has now disconnected his internet and blocked his phone so he cant send texts, and i think its my fault... if it is what should i...
A. 12 November 2008: firstly you can live without him!!
and he can't send texts but you can send them to him right? maybe you could text him telling him to go to his friends house or use a computer at school to check his hotmail. or send him an email in the hope his ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with her, but she's dating my friend... what do I do?
Q. hey i'm in love with this girl, but she doesn't know it. but now she is going out with my friend but i cannot tell anyone that i love her what should i do?...
A. 12 November 2008: Be patient, it would be unfair to tell her that you love her whilst shes dating your friend just be there for her when she's sad and be happy for her when she's happy. unless you feel you have to tell her then do but i suggest waiting until there ... (read in full...)
How do I make my wife agree to sleep with other men?
Q. How do I make my wife agree to sleep with other men? This is my deepest fantasy and will give me immense pleasure in seeing her having sex with others....
A. 12 November 2008: how about suggest a 3sum
or tell your wife about ur fantasy but don't pressure her into it.
maybe you and her could both come up with a list of what you wana try.... (read in full...)
How to I get rid of shyness to kiss my boyfriend?
Q. ok i asked a while ago how 2 kiss for the first time but now i know how i dont have the courage 2 do it can someone plz help me? does anyone know how to get rid of my shyness???????????? (it would really help my relationship my boyfriend is really ...
A. 12 November 2008: try kissing him on the cheek first then if he turns his head yay you've kissed him. i did that with my first byfriend but it will all come naturally or try resting your head on his shoulder then if he makes the first move you know what to do.
d... (read in full...)
I lied to her about my smoking and now she can't trust me.
Q. my girlfriend has finished with me for smoking i gave up shortly after meeting her. but started again and was to embarrassed to tell her so lied to her. shes not finished it for smoking. its or lying. she said she cant trust me anymore. can anyone ...
A. 12 November 2008: explain to her that you got back into it and you will quit if she has a problem with it, tell her it wasnt anything that serious you lied to her about and just explain that you like her so much you didnt want to put her off you. she probably is just ... (read in full...)
Porn in relationships? Healthy or not?
Q. I just wanna get your feedback on how you feel about Porn in relationships. tell me as much as you can please! answers from both sexs is appreciated!i feel as if him watching porn is affecting my sex drive with him and im not wanting to have as much ...
A. 12 November 2008: i think porn is ok if niether of you mind it. maybe you could try watching it with him. or asking him about his fantasies most men watch porn because they are too ashamed to ask their gfs what they want sexually. i think it makes alot of women in... (read in full...)
I think my friend is suffering from bulimia...
Q. Please help me. I am in year 10 at school and he is in year 11. We have never been the closest of friends but since yesterday we have become very close and he told me that he thinks he has an eating problem. I am fairly sure it is bulimia nervosa. ...
A. 11 November 2008: I had this guy friend who also suffered from bulimia and he wanted to have a relationship with me. so before having a relationship with him i told him that i wanted to get his problem sorted out first. perhaps you could do what i did and set a ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to tell my friends about my "older" boyfriend.
Q. I'm 17 and I'm dating a man 20 years older than me. Although when I first met this man he thought I was 18. I don't think that it's immoral as I am mature for my age and it is never an issue between us, I enjoy our mature conversations and he makes ...
A. 11 November 2008: thanks for the advice. i dont think he ever takes advantage as he has given me plenty of opertunities to walk away from him. i hope it lasts forever but if it ends one day i hope i can atleast say that we had great times. he's so young at heart ... (read in full...)
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