A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just wanna get your feedback on how you feel about Porn in relationships. tell me as much as you can please! answers from both sexs is appreciated!i feel as if him watching porn is affecting my sex drive with him and im not wanting to have as much sex with him anymore. please help!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): hey i think the same thing i get disguested at the thought of porn... why does he want to see them but not me??? but i also think it may be a way to find new stuff to do and keep your sex life intersting. i dont know im only 21 but cant get wet untill it is in.. so i need halp also but good luck hope yall can work it out..
A
female
reader, helpjayne  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 i think porn is ok if niether of you mind it. maybe you could try watching it with him. or asking him about his fantasies most men watch porn because they are too ashamed to ask their gfs what they want sexually.i think it makes alot of women insecure that their partners want fake perfection. the best thing to do is ask him why he needs to watch porn when he's got someone real that is willing to experiment with him. or if you really feel strongly about it whynot try making your own? unless your not ready to take it that far.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've watched porn quite a few times, but I'm just not interested in it. I didn't get aroused by it, neither did it entertain me :( and my man and I both have tried watching it together before but it felt akward for me but I'm sure he enjoyed it. We've tried having sex with porn on but I had to stop him because I wanted to turn it off. Is it me or is this normal for some women? I'm just not into that stuff, porn, strippers, I guess I just really enjoy the actual thing, I don't know. Someone please explain this to me!
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (6 November 2008):
 Porn can be healthy in relationships it just depends on the two people in it. It can definitely be taken to an unhealthy level (like anything in life).
If sex becauses noticeably less frequent then I would say there's a problem.
There is NO way that it should be acceptable for him to look and not you.
If you're both comfortable with it watching it together can be a huge turn on. And I really think you should watch it by yourself at least if you haven't already.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe didn't tell me about it, i walked in on him twice and it just was really akward, sorry? well i also just found out he doesn't want me looking at porn sites as well but that he still wants to...hmm, thanks beery but i'll just stick to what the women had said.
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A
male
reader, Beery +, writes (4 November 2008):
 Look, guys like porn. You should be happy he tells you about it. If you make him stop two things will happen:1. He won't stop, and he'll probably start lying to you about it.2. Your sex life will suffer because he'll feel manipulated.For goodness sake (and for the sake of your relationship) stop being a prude, and let the guy have his toys. Masturbation (even in a relationship) is normal. Disallowing masturbation is not normal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): How we feel about pornography in a relationship is not really the issue, it's about how you feel. Many men like pornography and it doesn't spoil their sex life, and it doesn't make them love you any less. Many women also like pornography, and find that it gives them many ideas to make their sex lives better. I always say, that if he is still having loving sex with you, and he loves you and treats you good, then what is the problem. Women like fashion magazines, romance books, and men like to look at people having sex. If it bothers you, ask him not to do it when you are around, to keep his pornographic usage private because it is something you don't like.
I don't understand why him looking at pornography, makes you want to have less sex. If you watch "Brad Pitt", "George Clooney" or any number of sexy Hollywood stars, or music guys dose he stop having sex with you.
Most men (not all) but many men like pornography, it is a form of stress relief and education. Many women like it too, and in countries like Sweden, Denmark and Germany it is a perfectly natural thing for couples to look at together. Maybe you need to talk to him, and find out why his "hobby" threatens you and makes your sex drive go down. What he is doing is not abnormal, and if he is the same age as you, it is very normal for him to want to look at sexual things...
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A
female
reader, Kuroneko  +, writes (3 November 2008):
I feel porn in relationships is not a healthy thing. To me, he/the other is in essence cheating on you by having sex to something else that is not you. You are being replaced in his sex life, and it is perfectly understandable that you don't like it. Try finding a way to discuss this and your feelings about it with him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): Why not buy how to improve and Kama Sutra video's to your loving? That way you can both enjoy the video's together. I have no problem with movies as long as they invite me to play along I am all for it!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 November 2008):
 If you review the site, you will find that most women are against porn, for several reasons. Some don't care. What's important, I believe is how you feel about it. You don't like it and you don't feel it's ruining your relationship. Have you tried telling him? Can you elaborate?
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