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... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
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| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
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My mother doesn't approve of the decisions I make. Should I cut off all contact?
Q. Since I was little, my mom was never good to me. She was wicked with me as a child and constantly put me down. She went through a lot of problems and I guess it was just easier for her to take her anger out on me than the real problems she had. ...
A. 6 August 2014: I think that perhaps you've kept her up to speed with all that is happening in your life a bit too much. If she doesn't know something then she won't feel the need to comment on it now will she? Cutting off all contact will do more harm than good to ... (read in full...)
My family won't support me because I didn't go to university!
Q. My family are stressing me out. I can never please them, no matter what I do. They are serioulsy struggling to accept the fact I didn't go to University. I really didn't want to go- it wasn't the route I wanted to take in life, it was what THEY...
A. 6 August 2014: You say you're happy . . . So what does it matter what they think of you (If they can't be happy for you that is). You're doing what you've always wanted to do despite not going to university so I think that perhaps they need time to come around and ... (read in full...)
How come he never thinks my 'look' is quite right?
Q. I'm confused. When I hadn't been with my boyfriend for long I overheard him say that I look ok but not as good as some other girls he knows. Fast forward a couple of years I've tried dressing normally, conservatively, flamboyantly,using full mak...
A. 5 August 2014: You need to realize that no matter what you do, you won't be quite right for him (attraction level wise). No matter what you do he has a comment. He admires the looks and styles of others which to me doesn't necessarily mean that you have to look ... (read in full...)
He won't sex chat with me!
Q. Hey guys I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 24 and we're in long destines relationship It's really hard to meet and i might meet him after 6 months or more I never had sex before but he did anyway before 2 days i was talking about chat sex and he re...
A. 5 August 2014: You can't make him do anything. If he doesn't want to have a sex chat session with you then perhaps you should leave it at that. Maybe he doesn't want to see you in a different light than he does now and maybe he has too much respect for you. I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 years has started to ignore me, and I don't know what to do!
Q. Hi, i'm a little lost right now and unsure of what to do. My boyfriend of 4 years has started to ignore me. its been a week now and at the beginning i sent him some horrible messages trying to get a response. which, of course i felt horrible fo...
A. 5 August 2014: I can't say for sure but I get the feeling that this relationship may be over. Until he gets in contact with you, you will form all sorts of scenarios which will seem to explain why he hasn't spoken to you over the past few days which may or may not ... (read in full...)
Are these signs my girlfriend is cheating?
Q. I really need outside insight on my relationship. All advice is appreciated. I'm a lesbian in a relationship with another woman. We just rekindled in June after not being together for a year. We had dated 3 years before I left in 2013. Anyways my ...
A. 5 August 2014: It seems like it's nothing to bother with. She's been talking to this woman and getting jealous at certain things while ranting on about how she basically hates that this happened and that happened . . . It seems a bit petty to me how your ... (read in full...)
Why do men prefer it shaved?
Q. My question might sound simple but why do so many men seem to like shaved vulva as opposed to a natural hairy one ? I found that the man I am with says he finds it much sexier and several men have said this before . I prefer to go natural as I get ...
A. 5 August 2014: Honestly, you should have it down there as you like it. Perhaps instead of growing it out, you can trim it (making it short) since entirely removing the hair leaves the skin feeling irritated. This way it will be short enough for you to feel it's ... (read in full...)
Are we crazy for moving in our son's girlfriend, to help keep her away from her abusive father?
Q. My wife and I and getting lots of grieve from family friends regarding a decision we made with our only son who ism20. He still lives at home during the summer and goes away ( 1.5hours from home) for school. He comes home most weekends. He has been ...
A. 5 August 2014: I think it's the right thing to do. Perhaps what needs to be done is that you guys shouldn't have 'the talk' with them, it may give them the sense that it's okay for them to have sex under your roof which it really isn't. You've laid down the law by ... (read in full...)
My anger is turning into depression - I want my husband to leave
Q. I have been married for four years. My husband has been emotionally abusive. He ignores me, wants me to plead for attention, for sex, calls me a whore, tells me he cant kiss me because am disgusting and all sorts of stuff. I have kids, and he does ...
A. 5 August 2014: You should take some legal action or at least look into it for now if money is tight. This is the only way your husband will leave, by force. You can look into seeing some divorce lawyers and find out about the entire process from a professional. ... (read in full...)
It's like he's given up on the relationship
Q. Where do I even begin.. My boyfriend and I used to be so happy together. We'd go out a lot, we'd have fun, we would do all sorts of things. And then one day, it just stopped all together. I feel like he's bored with me. Like I'm a bother to him mo...
A. 1 August 2014: Decide whether this relationship is worth fighting for and whether you have time and energy to fight for someone whom you probably won't be with anymore in a few years. Perhaps it's just time to move on because he has changed which in turn changes ... (read in full...)
I know I shouldn't have but I read the mails where he was flirty to other girls. What should I do about this?
Q. My boyfriend left his FaceBook logged in on my laptop and asked me to reply to his mate on chat! But in doing so I had seen he had a few girls who he had recently spoken to and I know I shouldn't have but I read the mails and he was speaking...
A. 1 August 2014: His behavior was inappropriate and deserves no defense. A confrontation is what is needed. So I suggest that you bring to his attention that you are aware of what he occasionally does. If you want to stay and work on things and possibly be back here ... (read in full...)
Should I flirt more or leave it alone?
Q. I have been having private violin lessons for just over a year and i really like my tutor. His always impressed by how much i have learnt since the last session (think it helps that i like him, so willing to do more)and has text me once or twice af...
A. 1 August 2014: I think if it's what he wanted it would have happened. Perhaps all the extra emails and stuff show that he wants you to get certain material that will help with the classes and also all the touches and stuff are just that, normal contact. Nothing ... (read in full...)
I am suspicious of this married guy and don't trust him. He's hinted he'd like a relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I am feeling really down about an issue to do with a guy who 'came on' to me about a year or so ago. When I first got to know him he was a friend of my (now ex) partner, who I was with for 17 years. My gut instinct when I met this person was ...
A. 1 August 2014: He is married. That's all anyone needs to know. Just stay away from this guy. That's something that even all of your analyzing and realizing can't change. So nothing should be enter into with this man relationship wise but I think you already know ... (read in full...)
Had a moment of weakness. So how do I regain my confidence, self esteem and sense of power over myself?
Q. ok so i was seeing someone last year and i really liked them. He ended things with me and i got really hurt. I have spent the last 6 months trying to get over him and it has been really hard as i am so heartbroken. I had started getting better a...
A. 1 August 2014: I'd like for you to see this not as a moment of weakness but as a lesson. This guy still has a hold on you. No matter how strong you think you are, he can penetrate through all of that and pierce right into your soul. You're strong, yes, but you're ... (read in full...)
How should I handle the fact that private information about me was revealed to others by a ''friend''?
Q. Ok, so, I have had this crush on one of my female friends,who i will refer 2 as SN, for months now, and i had only told 1 person im a bi female, my best friend. SN is one of my best friends 2 other best friends. So anyway, i got sick of keeping it f...
A. 1 August 2014: First of all you should realize that the person who spread the information can't be trusted with anything in future. I think it's best that you try not to be around your friend whom you have the crush on as much as before. Your crush will do nothing ... (read in full...)
Was it a joke? I haven't met him yet. We talk online.
Q. So yesterday I was just having a normal online chat/convo with a friend I haven't yet met but no off and talk to a bit and the convo turned to sex - with watch others for money, as a joke. But then soon turned into details of what we would do and ...
A. 1 August 2014: Yeah this guy sounds odd. Conversation like that is a red flag. I also think that meeting this person would be a huge mistake as he doesn't seem to be who he is pretending to be. Take that conversation as a slip up of a possibly dangerous predator. ... (read in full...)
Feel sick to my stomach. Love my wife, and know it's wrong to text another woman. Need guidance on how to deal with all this, please?
Q. I am a married man and I have been texting another woman for about 1 year, she does not know I am married. I love my wife very much and I can't be without her, I don't know why I began texting the other woman but I have become good friends with her ...
A. 1 August 2014: You say that texting her makes you feel sick well, do you like that sick feeling? I ask because you continue to do it. She doesn't even know you're married. Why is that? I'm just curious as to why you haven't told her. It's quite clear that you've ... (read in full...)
Why did she get to move on so easily?
Q. My girlfriend and I were together for 6 years. Her kids became my kids and I their dad. We split up suddenly without any kind of hint of things going awry. One day she just packed up and moved to her mom's. She's had a lot of medical issues and mood ...
A. 31 July 2014: You shouldn't just rush into another relationship just for the company. That wouldn't be fair on the other person. Do you see what I mean by the entire situation not being good for the children. They know you as dad and from what I can tell, it's ... (read in full...)
Do guys always stop intercourse after they cum?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles! So I just have a pretty straightforward question, do guys always stop intercourse after they cum? Every guy I've been with has. But I've heard before that not everyone does (i don't know if they're lying or not) th...
A. 31 July 2014: It's your business whether you use condoms or not but regardless of whether you trust your partner or not, you two should probably start using condoms as you would not only prevent pregnancy (you can still get pregnant on the pill or injection) but ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant from dry humping?
Q. My boyfriend and I dry humped. I have like cheer shorts on, they are short and thin plus underwear. He had underwear and like guys athletic shorts. Well we were humping and I felt something wet down there. Im scared I could be pregant please help!...
A. 31 July 2014: Next time before you do anything sexual please do your research on sex, reproduction and everything else related. You won't get pregnant from what you two done but it's always good to know everything before being sexually active so that you can be ... (read in full...)
Question on BDSM: What things could I do or use sexually to drive my B/f wild?
Q. Hi cupids, this is a question in hope of gathering all of the BDSM style members. My partner is into BDSM and loves anything considered dirty/experimental. In the past we have used hot candle wax, being tied up etc but what I'm here to ask is, how ...
A. 31 July 2014: Read books or search the internet for idea's but bare in mind that each person is different as chigirl said. There's not just one way of doing things. You can do a lot of different things and watch how your partner responds to the things that you ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with a man who is watching the 'teen' category in porn?
Q. As a woman I have no problem with consentually adult material ie porn however I often notice when seeing the categories that teen is always one of them Personally it makes me feel sick and I steer well away from that but maybe I'm overreac...
A. 31 July 2014: These girls aren't underage. Some men just like the youthful look of these young women and enjoy fantasizing while watching this porn as maybe these women are dressed as school girls etc. It's often a fantasy that will never be acted upon so I guess ... (read in full...)
How do I get my BF to take the next step?
Q. I am caught in limbo and need help. My boyfriend of a year and a half has been stalling for months now about the "next step". When I first brought it up at 8 months, he said he needed a year before he could consider things. At a year and 3 months, ...
A. 31 July 2014: You can't FORCE this on him. Like seriously. Would you want someone to give you that half hearted proposal that you're forcing for and will probably get because of all your nagging? He'll propose in his own time but if that doesn't suit you then ... (read in full...)
Do I do anything about my feelings for my brother in law?
Q. I like my sisters husbands brother alot. Should I do anything? ...
A. 31 July 2014: If there is nothing preventing it from happening then why not give it a try? You never know what might happen. Be careful though. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Does he love me if he wants a threesome?
Q. Does he love me. Wants threesome other women ...
A. 31 July 2014: He wants a threesome because it may be fantasy of his and its something he wants to experience. Like already mentioned a few times here, if he hasn't convinced you of his love to the point where you're actually here asking this question then perhaps ... (read in full...)
What do I do about this tiff between me and my roommates?
Q. Right so Agony people.I need some help. A few months ago I moved into a house with some friends for college. A tiff occured between me and two of my housemates. They claimed I said something bad which I didn't. Anyways I fel out with one of them but ...
A. 31 July 2014: So it's like they all turned on you just like that. They picked their side and now I think its time for you to accept that these people that you called your friends aren't really your friends if they won't listen to your side of the story. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he just not that into me?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I feel like he’s just not that into me. He’s been in florida for over 2 weeks now, but I’m always the one calling/texting him. This isn’t the first time that this has happened. He goes down to Florida to ...
A. 31 July 2014: I think you should give him his space. I'm also the type of person who likes space in a relationship. I don't particularly have to talk to or see you everyday . . . I like my alone time. With me the old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" ... (read in full...)
Can people get back together?
Q. Dear cupid Can people get back together ? I am embarrass to be writing on here about my predicament but I am driving myself insane. I went out for 2 months with a man older than me (I’m 26 he’s 41) I did not realize my guard was down an...
A. 31 July 2014: I think that you should move on. He needs his space and admitted that he can't give you want you want, a relationship. Moving on doesn't mean getting into new relationship. It means taking time for you, focus on yourself, other aspects of your life ... (read in full...)
My fiancé keeps trying to take nude photos of me without my consent!
Q. Okay, so we were on vacation and hot at it and my significant other (my fiancé) got up from the bed, then all of a sudden I saw a flash in the dark room and he took a picture of me nude and then he wanted to take closer pictures of my body parts. I ...
A. 31 July 2014: This is so weird. Reading through all of the info you gave us, it really is a serious problem and I don't think (if I were you) that I'd want to be with someone like that. Taking pictures of you without your consent and then his boss!? My gosh I'd ... (read in full...)
Do a lot of people misinterpret politeness as flirting?
Q. Do a lot of people misinterpret politeness as flirting? I hate it when I'm friendly to people only to have them act cold. I smile at people passing by while out in public. Sometimes I'll get a scowl in return, usually from women. Men just look aw...
A. 31 July 2014: I'd smile back. No harm in that. However, to answer the other question you asked, Yes, a lot of people do misinterpret politeness as flirting. I suspect that this is because especially these days, there are so many self centered people around who ... (read in full...)
Why did she get to move on so easily?
Q. My girlfriend and I were together for 6 years. Her kids became my kids and I their dad. We split up suddenly without any kind of hint of things going awry. One day she just packed up and moved to her mom's. She's had a lot of medical issues and mood ...
A. 31 July 2014: OP, this woman has issues that she's dealing with and perhaps not in the right way if I may add. Maybe that has something to do with why she's moved on so quick and finds herself in love. Maybe she is just attaching herself to whoever comes along as ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on this girl? She's come up with all kinds of excuses for why we can't get together.
Q. I am very close to giving up on this girl and I just want to see if I should or if there is still hope. I met her a couple months ago at Wondercon, we connected well and I got her number. After a couple text exchanges (with very delayed response...
A. 31 July 2014: So she keeps sending you back messages which all basically mean that "I can't because . . .", perhaps she is done with you already. She did like you, especially if she was the one suggesting where to go and when etc. Maybe she truly likes you and ... (read in full...)
He won't commit! We are stuck in a cycle of breaking up and making up!
Q. I met a guy 4 years ago. At the time I was 25 and he was 38. We soon started seeing each other and after 4 months I had met his family. Everything seemed to be going well other than the fact that he started working longer hours and going out salsa ...
A. 31 July 2014: The two of you want very different things. He just wants to screw around while you want commitment. It's been 4 years already so if he hasn't committed by now (he hasn't even made a move towards it), then he won't commit to you possibly ever. Now ... (read in full...)
He wants to hang out with me but I know he has a girlfriend. What should I do?
Q. I'll be starting uni in the fall as an international student, and, as I'm sure most incoming freshmen do, I did a little facebook research on the current students at this university. Of course, I didn't contact any of the guys, and was left just ...
A. 30 July 2014: You already speak of a chemistry that exists between the two of you which to me already poses a problem. For now it may be all fun and games, until you start expecting more out of a situation that you can't get more out of. I doubt that with this ... (read in full...)
Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child?
Q. Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child? I know it may seem harmless but it's actually rather hurt me. I was 17 when I had my son, who is now...
A. 30 July 2014: It's like an old wedding tradition to be married in a color other than white when you're not a virgin as you'd be considered impure while white symbolizes purity. I think maybe she's just so old school and was pretty serious with the joke she made ... (read in full...)
What interesting things can I do with a guy at a boring mall?
Q. I'm going on a date with a 23 year old I met online tomorrow afternoon. Now, at 19, this is my first date. I havn't even told him that because I find it so embarrassing. We've planned on meeting at a mall. I'd like some ideas on fun, flirty, ...
A. 30 July 2014: I think you shouldn't worry about it too much. When the date arrives you two will find something to do. It will all happen in the moment. Just remember to have fun and make sure (as another aunt mentioned) that you notify someone of your whereabouts ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? My husband bought his female colleague perfume!
Q. My husband told me that he really appreciates his female colleague and bought her perfume for her birthday gift. Should I be worried? ...
A. 30 July 2014: He could have told you because he has nothing to hide or because he has everything to hide but wanted to throw you off by telling you. We don't know what's going on just like you don't however, if your hubby has done anything in the past that raised ... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship but it's not feeling like one!
Q. When we first went out 3 years ago, everything was perfect. He tried his best to do what ever he can just to make me happy but because I don't mind anything and he kind of stopped doing because he said I don't really mind anything he does and I'm ...
A. 29 July 2014: This certainly isn't a normal relationship and I suggest that you end it. He doesn't pay you much mind and just pushes you aside while telling you that you're not his priority and that he easily forgets about you. This relationship isn't a very good ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of missing my ex but I don't like his temper!
Q. I'm sick of missing him so much :( Had a relationship with a man for 5 years during which time 99.9% of the time he was a perfect gentleman and the most amazing kind of man who I thought I was so lucky to find but now and then maybe once every...
A. 29 July 2014: OP, his 99.9% of the time behavior matters 0%! Are you waiting for that 0.1% of the time to result in you being seriously hurt? It only takes one temper tantrum of his to put you in hospital or worse, a grave yard. Things could actually get to that ... (read in full...)
I don't love him any more .....
Q. I want a divorce but my husband doesnt agree, what can i do i dont love him anymore but we have a child. The fact that i dont love him anymore and everytime he asks me to have sex with him and if i disagree he gets mad and always doubted that i dont ...
A. 29 July 2014: I remember reading your previous question but without replying as all that I had to say was in one way or another already said by everyone else who replied. I agree with Anonymous on this one. Have a lawyer present when communicating with your hubby ... (read in full...)
Can this relationship be saved?
Q. This page has been so helpful to me before so thought id ask again. Do you think this relationship is salvageable? We started off as friends, friends for 2 years, then got together. Bexause we had been friends we knew so much about each other al...
A. 29 July 2014: You know what you guys mistake was?: Getting family and friends involved and up to speed with every step of the relationship. You must never tell parents and friends of all your problems in your relationships because obviously, them knowing you ... (read in full...)
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