| Latest articles: Why is LYING about porn and HIDING it even worse than the porn itself?
This question has 37 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 September 2010: So from all the porn questions and answers on here, it seems many women think a guy's lying about his porn use and hiding it are actually WORSE than the porn itself. They cannot understand why anyone would lie about something like that and go behind ...
|
Is it strange to not like pornography?
Q. I know this may seem odd for a lot of people to hear, but I'm a 16yo guy who is not at all into pornography. What I wanna know is, am I the only one? All my friends say I'm weird because I don't like it, but I personally don't understand why they do ...
A. 13 March 2011: I think the appeal is precisely that it IS fake and has no basis in reality. The same way that movies or World of Warcraft will always be more exciting than your real life. Would you criticize Star Wars for being fake? These things are total ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend genuinely cares about me, but has issues with porn and looking at other women
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. When we initially started dating he seemed flawless! After we began to get serious I started finding porn stashes in his room, and caught him staring at women. It really hurt me, to the extent of making ...
A. 11 March 2011: Your bf has a "roving eye". I won't say being 19 fully excuses it because my friends and I were 19 once and never behaved like that. Maturity isn't just a matter of age. There are middle-aged men who leer disrespectfully at others, and also teen ... (read in full...)
I am worried about my early morning erections while I am on school camp
Q. hi, i am 14 and always wake up with an erection. I hear that this is normal and naturally i can't help but masturbate, but i am going on a school trip and we will be in dorms. i dont want peopple to think that i am sick. so what can i do?...
A. 11 March 2011: Wear tight underwear (briefs) and don't sleep without blankets.... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend always smell like urine?
Q. Dear All, I have a big-big problem with my boyfriend. He is an Indian, 24, and for 3 months we are living together in Germany. I love him very much, he is perfect in every way for me, but I have a big problem. Everything he is wearing smell...
A. 5 March 2011: I'm afraid he needs to throw away all his clothes and get brand new ones. You said he is Indian. Does he eat a lot of traditional spicy foods? If so, a change of diet might be in order. Got this from AskMen.com: "Eating certain f... (read in full...)
Why would he suddenly go off porn?
Q. Ok guys, i am wondering if someone could tell me why a guy who would usually watch porn by himself maybe once or twice a wk would suddenly not want to? My hubby used to do stuff himself about once a wk, sometimes twice. Thats in the few years we've ...
A. 5 March 2011: Wow, girls will complain and worry about anything. If he's watching porn, it's an issue. If he suddenly stops, it's still an issue. Others would love to be in your place -- have their guy just lose all interest in porn without being asked. Peop... (read in full...)
Why doesn't sex mean anything anymore?
Q. Nobody seems to believe in waiting for that one special person anymore. As a society we have come to expect sex all the time, and people don't care if it's with someone they truly care about or not, all they really want is thrills and excitement. ...
A. 23 February 2011: You said it! Wish there were more young people who agreed with you. In the past, the ruling authorities may have made people overly ashamed and afraid of their sexuality. But now we've gone too far the other way and adopted an "if it feels good, do ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that I won't be around to grow old with him?
Q. I don't really know how to phrase this but I've come here for advice before and I'm really hoping someone can help me. I'm dying and have no idea how to tell my boyfriend. We're 18 and have been together for two years. I have been diagnosed with ...
A. 20 February 2011: Just tell him. It's definitely bad news but it's the truth and he needs to hear it, if only to truly value the time he has left with you. Write it in a note or e-mail if you prefer. Or ask your parents to break the news. Whichever way you choose to ... (read in full...)
Are there honestly guys who're immune to the media's crap and who honestly prefer A cups over DDs?
Q. I have small breasts and I'm sick of just having to put up with men prefering big. I've been teased my whole life, and I doubt they'll grow, I'm way past puberty. Even ex boyfriends have been jerks about it, but of course they all come up with "oh ...
A. 20 February 2011: Are you kidding? A-cups rule! I've always liked smaller ones way better. Not just saying that, I have said the same before in other online debates. It's just a much more elegant look. To me, the European standard of beauty (slim, elegant, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend likes to be held down during sex and pretend its rape?
Q. I have been dating a woman for six months. For the first 4, it was more or less normal. We both work in demanding jobs so it's taken a few months to spend enough time to become more emotionally intimate even though we've been sexually involved all ...
A. 20 February 2011: There's nothing wrong with fantasy and role-playing per se. But yours doesn't seem like a completely healthy fantasy. She is imagining herself being humiliated and violated, and you are going through the motions of subduing and forcing yourself on ... (read in full...)
Should I date a superficial woman who treated me like dirt?
Q. Hi, I'll get right to the point. I was for many years in love with a lady from my school. I told her i loved her many times but she thought of me as a geek and always dated the most popular guy in college, she took my love for granted. Well, 5 yrs ...
A. 20 February 2011: NO.... (read in full...)
How do I control my sexual urges?
Q. I have a bit of a problem... I am in my early twenties and well, I am a virgin, and have had next to zero experience with men... which I may add, is normal in my culture... in fact, more than acceptable, it's preferable... However, as far as I am ...
A. 20 February 2011: First off, I think it's great you aren't promiscuous like many others in their 20s and have no interest in casual sex.
That said, do you personally feel, or were you taught that, sex is something dirty, shameful and forbidden? I've heard that bei... (read in full...)
I absolutely refuse to get back into a relationship and want to be single for the rest of my life. Is that way of thinking abnormal?
Q. About a month ago, I dumped my boyfriend. Long story short, I simply wasn't happy. He wasn't necessarily abusive... it was because he had some emotional issues, manipulating, no motivation, and lack of direction and ambition in life. Plus he ...
A. 14 February 2011: Ok, you had a bad experience once and now you want to be single for the rest of your life? And you base this on ONE guy? If you're just venting, that's understandable. But if you're honestly and clearheadedly saying you're done with all men because ... (read in full...)
Are my standards too high to get a girlfriend?`
Q. Hello all, I'm a seventeen (Virgin) year old boy. I do want a girlfriend but I'm worried that my standards are too high. I don't believe in ANY sexual contact whatsoever, I wouldn't date a female if she had voluntarily given her virginity away o...
A. 14 February 2011: There's certainly nothing wrong with delaying sex until you're in a long-term, monogamous relationship, and holding out for a girl who shares the same values. And avoiding girls who make out with guys on a routine basis or who are smokers is ... (read in full...)
Are there good guys out there? The ones I've found so far aren't
Q. Recently I have started going to a counselor because of these “mini-depression episodes” that I have. This term “mini-depression episodes” is a term that I use to describe the times that I am uncontrollably sad, irritable, and hopeless. I feel that ...
A. 8 February 2011: It sounds like things were fine with the first guy for a long time. It certainly would be unusual for your "first kiss" whom you've known since sixth grade to become your permanent mate in adulthood. So don't feel too bad if it turns out the ... (read in full...)
Why can't I just trust him that he isn't looking at porn?
Q. I have been with my current boyfriend for almost a year now (anniversary is in a few days). It is in fact a long distance relationship, but we meet often. Anyway, I've always had this issue about him watching porn. Except this is a little differe...
A. 6 February 2011: It sounds like you may be creating your own problem here. Perhaps you've read too many porn horror stories on sites like this one. But that can give you a warped perspective on things because it's mostly the couples with problems who vent about it. ... (read in full...)
Married 5 years, still virgins, help!
Q. This year I will celebrate my 5 year wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, my wife and I are still virgins. I love her with all of my heart. People that know us think we have the most wonderful, romantic relationship. Love letters every morning before ...
A. 29 January 2011: Plenty of marriages end up sexless but very few start off that way. So this isn't normal!
Ask yourself, if the situation were reversed and you were the unemployed one who did almost none of the housework and made it clear to her that you'd ne... (read in full...)
I can't tolerate porn due to a horrible experience in my past!
Q. My problem is that I hate porn. It dates back to many years ago when I had an awful experience and I have explained this to my partner and how it reminds me of a horrible time in my life which I have sought profession help to overcome. I told him ...
A. 29 January 2011: If your views on porn are that black-and-white and you absolutely can't tolerate it, then your decision will be an easy one. You don't need our help to make it.
I'll go against some of the extremist views on here and say that you CAN find a guy wh... (read in full...)
Why are man always so concerned about there performance and not about what porn actually can do to their brains and judgement?
Q. Porn is a big topic in a lot of relationships. For my own opinion, it is quite sad to see so many guys using porn to get satisfaction,despite having willing and loving partners. The argument is often just to have a quick gratification and not to ...
A. 29 January 2011: "As an experienced woman let me tell you guys out there "just forget about performance". We woman don't jugde you by how long, how big, how juicy, how romantic etc. you can do it."
Yeah... reminds me of women who say guys don't need to learn al... (read in full...)
How wet is too wet? My arousal is turning into a nightmare for me!
Q. I find myself getting really wet several times each day. Most of the time it happens if I’m day-dreaming about having sex or being intimate with a guy. At first I enjoyed feeling aroused and wet all the time but now it’s turned into a nightmare. ...
A. 25 January 2011: Thongs won't give you much protection at all. Try something like boyshorts. And don't let your mind wander when you're outside somewhere. Direct your attention outward instead of inward. You'll learn a lot more in class that way, too. lol.
You'l... (read in full...)
I stumbled upon a video of my husband masturbating, on our computer!! I don't know how to deal with this..
Q. Hi, I am 19 years old. I am married. I have been married for 9 months. my husband is in the military. We have been together for 3 years. We recently moved to Germany, for his job. He is at work. I stumbled upon a video of him masturbati...
A. 25 January 2011: I can see how it would be jarring to find something like that.
But it doesn't necessarily mean he shared it with anyone else. Some people just like to see what they look like on camera. It's kind of a curiosity or spectacle, seeing how you'd lo... (read in full...)
Boyfriend prefers cyber sex to me, Emotionally detatched
Q. So I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I am 22, he is 29 and this is his first real relationship, I am basically his first real love. When we first got together I was going through some medical issues and couldn't have sex for the ...
A. 18 January 2011: I guess there's a reason why he never had a relationship until 29.
It's true some people just aren't spontaneous at all and need a lot of space. I'm kind of similar and have often thought that living in separate but adjacent houses/a... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be my age and not have any interest in getting married?
Q. I am a single and very intelligent 29 year old woman and I am happy with my marital status. I like being independent and free I also like my quiet time. I am the adventurous type of woman though, I like to travel, I would like to go parachuting, ...
A. 11 January 2011: I liked reading your question. It's reassuring that there are others out there who think critically about marriage before blindly rushing into it just because it's what everyone else is doing. I too have friends who seem miserable and stressed from ... (read in full...)
Are guys losing respect for girls today than in the past?
Q. I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? ...
A. 10 January 2011: Back in the age of chivalry, men would stand up when a woman entered the room, throw their cloak down over muddy ground for her to walk on, pull out chairs and open doors for her, refrain from profanity in her presence, etc. Many look at that and ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy masturbating!
Q. I am a 16 year old girl and I do not enjoy masturbating. I have masturbated before, I've tried different techniques, I've watched porn, and I cannot enjoy it. All it does is frustrate me. Is there anything I can do or any suggestions on how to enjoy ...
A. 10 January 2011: If you don't enjoy it, then don't do it. Same as if you don't like peanut butter cookies, then don't eat them.
As a society, we've gone from demonizing masturbation to the total opposite -- thinking everyone does it and SHOULD do it, and if they ... (read in full...)
Men: If your woman is satisfying you, why do you need porn?
Q. Ok first off, I’m not married, but I keep having this fear of my future husband watching porn. I understand that most men watch porn but why? If your woman is satisfying you why do you need it? Many men say they need variety, but is that fair? Women ...
A. 3 January 2011: Guys and girls really need to try and understand the other's point-of-view on this. If a woman isn't crazy about pornos, men should not be telling her she's completely wrong, insecure and unreasonable to feel that way. I can totally understand the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend deleted his porn collection. Is he serious about it or just pretending?
Q. My boyfriend deleted his porn collection from his P.C. I never asked him to. Earlier on we was watching a program, with asian girls on it. I called him a hypocrite for defending them, when he calls so many types people. So in our arguementhe deleted ...
A. 29 December 2010: Ok, he deleted his porn collection to show he loved you... and this is a problem??
I'd say he didn't value his stash very much in the first place to so casually get rid of it without you even suggesting it. Or perhaps he honestly felt bad about ha... (read in full...)
Can't stop looking at porn and masturbating. Is this healthy for a 14-year-old girl?
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl. I recently looked up porn and started to masturbate. I know I'm young but since the first time I can't stop. I feel bad or dirty after. I do but i can't stop... Is this healthy?? Does it mean I'm a sex addict?? Even if...
A. 29 December 2010: I think it's just a little destructive to tell a young teen that this is perfectly healthy and harmless behaviour. Porn used to be sold only in adult stores to those 21 and over, and even today most porn websites still make some halfhearted attempt ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to use prostitutes?
Q. Is it normal for men to use prostitutes? Does paying for it make it any different? Basically i found out my bf had slept with a couple of prostitutes in the past before i met him. He says there is nothing wrong with it nd its just like meetin...
A. 21 December 2010: Ok, so he wants sex without any spiritual or emotional attachments and is willing to pay complete strangers for it. That speaks to his values. And in a hotel known for prostitutes, he won't have to lift a finger to meet them. They'll approach him, ... (read in full...)
While dancing with another woman, my boyfriend got an erection. Is this normal?
Q. My boyfriend needed to attend a formal dinner/dance event. Though I was the partner of choice, I could not get out of work on time to make it to the benefit. Instead, My boyfriend invited a friend to be his partner. Later that night, he told me that ...
A. 16 December 2010: Yes, it is somewhat normal and he can't be blamed for it. But it's not quite normal to talk about it. So I have to wonder why he would deliberately point it out. There's no way you would have found out otherwise. Was that his way of trying to make ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a pervert? How do I deal with ex-girlfriend syndrome?
Q. So there's two major questions in my relationship. Is my boyfriend a pervert? And is he not over his ex girlfriend? Me and my boyfriend have been together now for 7 months and we have a happy relationship so far. Prior to him I've steered ...
A. 8 December 2010: When did he receive these gifts? Probably back when they were still together. Books, shirts and mugs are kind of generic anyway. It's not like he's keeping a scrapbook of her pictures or a custom CD of love songs she made for him. What you're ... (read in full...)
Why do women play hard to get?
Q. I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I get extremely angry when a woman is interested in me but she plays hard to get. Why do women do that? Why can't they just throw themselves at you if they are genuinely interested. It w...
A. 8 December 2010: I agree, it's a dumb, manipulative, and counterproductive game. "We do it because if we play hard to get and you still come after us it proves how much you want to be with us." Umm, that's not gonna work on some shyer nice guys. They could in fact ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband need so much porn?
Q. Ok, here is my question. I have been married to my husband for five years and we have a 4 year old daughter and a 6 month old son. For about a year no matter when I tried to initiate sex he didn't want to. We were having sex for about 1, 2 times a ...
A. 8 December 2010: Wow. I'm with you, I can't understand why he would be doing this, unless he were at least somewhat addicted. He should consider himself lucky to have a wife so flexible and understanding. You allow some porn in the house, have made your own, and are ... (read in full...)
Is getting turned on by people touching my ears normal?
Q. I feel really weird, I have this strange attractions to ears, i love it when my boyfriend touches or kisses my ears, i even make him bite my ears, I just love it.. But it makes me feel weird because it a ears and surely it shouldn't turn me on if ...
A. 8 December 2010: Are you a Ferengi by any chance? lol, JK. I've heard girls talk this way before about being touched on the neck or behind the knee, things like that. Guess everyone has their own individual erogenous zones. Being aroused by ears is rather unusual ... (read in full...)
Why would he want me to smoke when I clearly don't want to???
Q. hey, im 16 and my boyfriend is 19. so he smokes pot and something else called buddha bud a lot. he says he doesnt do it that much but ive noticed that its a lot. he knows i dont like it. so last night we were texting and here is our ...
A. 5 December 2010: It may be exactly as he explained. Since he's clearly devoted to smoking these drugs as his hobby or even his lifestyle, then if you joined in, you'd be sharing the same lifestyle and it would bring you closer together, at least in his eyes.
But t... (read in full...)
After 10 years of faithfullness he evicted me and divorced me
Q. At 34 i became divorced form my husband (MAJOR ISSUES and we had a friendly divorce) I had two children age 5 and 7. A year later I met the MAN OF MY DREAMS..a gift rom God. Although the man was divorced and 18 years older. He acted young and fu...
A. 3 December 2010: Ah, rich people and their problems. You got to live like a millionaire for a decade, happily being this guy's "arm candy". But women can only be trophy wives for so long until they are traded in for a younger model. For sure, he acted reprehensibly ... (read in full...)
Do guys like girls way more than girls like guys?
Q. That's what it seems like. How come if a girl joins a dating site, within a couple of days she'll be flooded with more e-mails than she could ever reply to... but if a guy joins, he could send out two dozen e-mails and still get no replies? How come ...
A. 3 December 2010: Thanks. But for once, being told I'm right is not what I wanted to hear!
Just wish real romance was like movie romance. Things seem more equal in movies, and even a character who looks like Anne Hathaway can be lonely, unlucky in love and just loo... (read in full...)
I guess I'm not very good at playing hard to get?
Q. Boys, would you like it if a girl u were interested in told you she liked talking to you? Or would you lose interest in her b/c u'd think she was easy to get? I told a guy i liked talking to him, hes a shy guy and i wanted to reassure him that...
A. 3 December 2010: I have to agree with everything Jmtmj said.
The guy actually has been initiating way more than you, calling you every few days and saying nice things to show he cares about you. Then you give out one tiny, platonic compliment and expect some big... (read in full...)
I guess I'm not very good at playing hard to get?
Q. Boys, would you like it if a girl u were interested in told you she liked talking to you? Or would you lose interest in her b/c u'd think she was easy to get? I told a guy i liked talking to him, hes a shy guy and i wanted to reassure him that...
A. 2 December 2010: Ok, I'm not really a "typical" guy but for me it would be great if a girl was that direct. Especially since I'm quiet too and tend to assume girls aren't interested even if they seem to be doing other subtle, nonverbal flirting. If the girl didn't ... (read in full...)
Adoption? Abortion? Or keeping the baby from an unplanned pregnancy?
Q. This isn't a relationship question really. But out of blatant curiosity I was wondering if people out there would share their opinion on whether they think adoption, abortion or keeping an unplanned baby is the best option and why they feel that ...
A. 2 December 2010: You can't arbitrarily draw a line and say before this many weeks it's not a human being, but after that many weeks it is. It's either human at conception or not human. Saying it's not really alive, or calling it pro-choice, a medical procedure, a ... (read in full...)
B/f wants a room he can fill with pictures of naked women!
Q. Girls (or boys can answer too i guess to give your side) How do you feel about the fact your bf/fiance/husband has or wants a room to be his (like a games room) and have it filled with pictures of naked women??? I was just talkin to my bf and...
A. 29 November 2010: A "guy room" (or Man Cave) with like a sexy calendar or one or two pinups on the wall doesn't seem like a big a deal. But a room "filled" with porn pictures? That seems crass and a bit imbalanced, and I'd be saying the same if it were pictures of ... (read in full...)
He's browsing women's sexy clothing websites!
Q. Hi everyone, I'm the girl that had the boyfriend who wanted a break. Well things haven't gone as far as that but I have found that he has been checking out girls wearing sexy clothes online. He is no way looking at pornography, just girls weari...
A. 17 November 2010: What kind of sites were they? Online stores? Fetish sites?
Sites like Victoria's Secret are just fun to look around, and not ONLY to look at the models but to see what kinds of things are available, what looks good, what's "in", what you might li... (read in full...)
| *upid Boy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *upid Boy has
added them and they have added *upid Boy!
|
