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... Send *unty Honest a private message | | | *unty Honest's profile:I'm a young woman from England with a slight background in Psychology, Sociology and a whole lot of English! I have worked with the homeless, people with disabilities (mental and physical)and addiction. In terms of age I have worked with children to teenagers to the elderly in various fields. Having had many ups and downs in my personal and familial life, I hope that my experiences may make me able to relate and advise others in similar situations. As a result, I am not very judgemental, and (as my friends would attest) I'd like to think anyone could come to me about anything. I won't pretend that I'm an expert, and I've made many mistakes in my life! However if you want honest, respectful and understanding advice, give me a try.
I am currently in a relationship-though my lovelife has always been a ridiculous rollercoaster!
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I'm in love with my son's married teacher?
Q. I am in love with my sons married teacher. she is a very beautiful and kind person. she knows i am gay. i felt sparks between, we were getting closer by day, then when i asked her out for coffee, don't know what happened . she told me in a note that ...
A. 13 March 2011: You're welcome. Obviously it's much more difficult if he's young as you can't have him walk into school alone etc. Try and sit tight-the school year will be over soon! All the best! ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my son's married teacher?
Q. I am in love with my sons married teacher. she is a very beautiful and kind person. she knows i am gay. i felt sparks between, we were getting closer by day, then when i asked her out for coffee, don't know what happened . she told me in a note that ...
A. 13 March 2011: I understand you're trying to keep your distance, but (obviously I don't know age of your son/how much you HAVE to see her) I just meant as much as possible, so you can avoid even looking at her when possible! I didn't mean you weren't trying that ... (read in full...)
Penis is wider on its base than the main part. Is this normal?
Q. i am 18 and my penis girth on its base is less than the main part. I have no idea why. Anyone out there? Please help.....
A. 12 March 2011: It's completely normal, don't worry too much! I bet it's not even as noticiable as you think it is. I think most women don't really care about what a penis looks like as long as it's comfortable and the guy they're with is good with it! A change in ... (read in full...)
Do I keep waiting for a guy whose parents will never let him marry me?
Q. I love a guy madly over the past 3 years and I really can't live without him but he is not ready for marriage. He says that his parents will not agrree to that. What do I do?? ...
A. 12 March 2011: Unfortunately, there's not many options here. It sounds like you've spoken about the issue before, but perhaps you need to find out if he's EVER going to be ready to marry you. If the answer's no, then it sounds like you're going to have to walk ... (read in full...)
I'm so conflicted, I don't want to hurt or two-time anybody!
Q. Ok guys I'm in a world of problems at the moment. There has been this girl who I have liked and has liked me for about a month now but nothing has happened yet. My best girl friend and I have always been kinda close and joke around about goi...
A. 12 March 2011: The only thing you can do to hurt the fewest number of people is take time out and think about what/who you want. If you don't find that there's one particular girl you want more than anyone...then you probably don't like any of them enough to ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my son's married teacher?
Q. I am in love with my sons married teacher. she is a very beautiful and kind person. she knows i am gay. i felt sparks between, we were getting closer by day, then when i asked her out for coffee, don't know what happened . she told me in a note that ...
A. 12 March 2011: As hard as it is, you have to walk away from this one. She's asked you to step back because of her career. Proffessionally, she could be destroyed by being involved with a students teacher, and while it's painful, you have to respect that especially ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to reignite the spark?
Q. Soooo my i have been dating this girl for about 6 months or so. Its long distance due to my college. Im about 2 hours away but we see each other every weekend. Just here this past week she told me she is getting bored of doing the same old things ...
A. 12 March 2011: This is a tricky one. There are a whole load of things you can try, doing something new-even something cheap like a picnic, some kind of suprise for her...doesn't even have to be slushy just taking her for a mystery date, going for a walk etc. Often ... (read in full...)
My partner is abusive so I am going to cheat on him!
Q. Is it justified for me to cheat if my partner is abusive to me? I shouldn't say justified, but rather is it a good reason. I know I should just leave him, but i don't know how at this point. He hits me and threatens me and verbally abuses me. ...
A. 12 March 2011: I'm so sorry to hear of your problem. This is a really awful situation for you to be in and you need to get some help. There are plenty of places you can get the support you need in a way that suits you (helplines, refuges, councilling etc.) Look ... (read in full...)
How do people move on so quickly after experiencing a lost love?
Q. I have been healing for a long time from a severed relationship. I look at people around me who seem to just get up and start dating the next week. I look at Hollywood celebrities who after losing love just seem to move on to the next one so soon ...
A. 7 March 2011: I think grief manifests itself in different ways in different people, and just because someone's out dating again, it certainly doesn't mean they're "over it." Someone might be devastated but have to start dating to help them move on. Others rent ... (read in full...)
Friendships never die.....................or do they?
Q. Hi, im not sure how to write about this. My best friend and I have been friends since we were 18 years old. We have now been friends for 20 years. We have shared many highs and many lows. We are completely different in terms of taste for guys, ...
A. 7 March 2011: This must have been incredibly painful for you and I'm sorry to read about it! I think you made the right decision. I think you went above and beyond the call of duty for your friend which is admirable but perhaps she was a little out of re... (read in full...)
What if he forgets about me?
Q. So I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months. I'm 19 and he's 34. We have had a lot of problems in our relationship, however, one of the things I'm completly sure about is that I love him and that he means everything to me. But he never has time ...
A. 7 March 2011: I do understand that fear of everything falling apart, but people don't stop caring about someone because of a phone call. Especially when he'd done the same to you a day before! Also, when we care about someone we don't forget about them in a few ... (read in full...)
Should I be patient with my wife as we try to work things out?
Q. My and my wife have been together 11 years, married 5 have 3 awesomw kids, About a year ago my wife told me she didn't think she was in love with me anymore, she ended up moving out,then I found out she was seeing someone who said he was my best ...
A. 7 March 2011: I'm so sorry to hear about this siuation. It must be so hard for you, and the kids. However I think that she's being incredibly unfair to you. It can't all be on her terms. She hurt you, she should be trying to win you over, not the other way ... (read in full...)
Would you ever want your ex to apologize to you after a breakup?
Q. would you ever want your ex to apologize to you after a breakup? me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago. and we haven't talked in about a 1 month now. so we had a really bad break up and she's not responding to anything im saying. so i deci...
A. 7 March 2011: I'd say go for it, but don't expect any response. I had an apology once, and at the time I was just so furious about everything it was pointless, but when I thought about it later, after I'd moved on, it was nice he'd cared enough to feel badly ... (read in full...)
How do I prove my husband is impotent?
Q. Dear Cupid Please read the entire post I am basically from India married for 6 years. I never had any sexual exp before marriage, i.e. i was virgin when i got married, never had a bf too. I was scared of sex when i got married, since i di...
A. 6 March 2011: I'm sorry to hear that you're in such a difficult position. It sounds like you're husband might have some impotency problems, though clearly he can get hard and ejaculate. Perhaps his problem isn't physical but psychological? If what you're saying i... (read in full...)
I'm very happy with my man, but his contribution to our sex life is insufficient...
Q. ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half. im a 24yr old man and he is 26. i work 9-5 and he works and studies. we love each other immensely. unlike a number of gay men i have met, ive never been someone who puts sex before ...
A. 6 March 2011: This is a common problem in relationships and unfortunately, a very tricky one. The upside is you sound like you have a great relationship otherwise! Have you tried having a serious conversation with him about it? Tell him that you love him but... (read in full...)
Am I losing my faith in love because of my boyfriend's ways?
Q. my boyfriend and i live together, been together three years. in this time ive dealt with his lack of honesty, his flirting, lying about his whereabouts, and one birthday and this valentines he made no effort to express anything towards me not even a ...
A. 6 March 2011: No, I don't think you're losing your faith in love-I think you're (quite rightly) losing your faith in him! Painful as it is, it sounds like you're not going to get what you need from this man. That doesn't make you bad or selfish or cynic... (read in full...)
How can I get the most out of life when I don't feel comfortable?
Q. The only time when I feel comfortable and I can truly be myself (whoever that is) is when I am with my family or 2 of my friends whom I have known for years. Other than that, I find it so hard to interact with people. I always get the impression ...
A. 6 March 2011: I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, though I definately think Fishdish has some good advice! Also, try thinking of it this way, you're at uni, no-one knows who you are and how uncomfortable you can be in social situations. You're a "pro at... (read in full...)
I'm trying to time my leaving of the abusive relationship to have the least impact on my kids
Q. I have been with my fiancee for just over 6 years, 5 of which have been abusive. No, he does not hit me or physically harm me in any way, but he is controlling, degrading, insecure, jealous and a host of other things. My two children (ages 9 and ...
A. 6 March 2011: I'm so sorry to hear of what an awful time you're having and I think it's admirable you want to put your children first. I think first of all, listen to your friends and therapist, because they know the situation better than anyone, and whil... (read in full...)
What are some ways to tighten your vagina, aside from kegels??
Q. Blegh..Look: I'm sure I'm just "asking" to be mocked here, but the thing is..I was with a guy for a good while (the only guy I've ever been with). We've been broken up for a long while (about two years)and I've started dating a really good friend. ...
A. 3 March 2011: I'd have to agree with Tiger, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. And not having sex for 2 years will have definately done the trick! However, if you are still concered you can do kegel excercises without that sinister looking tool! All you ... (read in full...)
Sometimes when I masturbate I think of other woman!
Q. Hey everybody, I'm kind of confused. Sometimes when I'm masturbating I think of having sex with other women. I'm straight, and the thought of other women sexually repulses me, so I don't get why this would happen. Most of the time in the fantasies...
A. 3 March 2011: Honestly there's no need to freak out about this. Fantasies allow us to explore our sexuality in ways we never would in real life, and give us a safe place to push boundaries. There's no need to feel ashamed or disgusted! Maybe it's something you'll ... (read in full...)
Female input needed!
Q. For women only. How would you feel if a guy that you are interested in had 9 inch long penis?...
A. 3 March 2011: I'd be a bit intimidated. It is designed to fit so as long as he's gentle you should be ok! You might even love it!... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my fear of sexual-intimacy?
Q. I am seventeen and have been in a relationship for 4 months or so, and it's getting to that point where we need to move on to the sexual side of the relationship... I've had previous relationships, but they haven't worked out because I just wasn't p...
A. 3 March 2011: At the risk of sounding cheesy here, maybe you're just not ready? Or haven't felt that way about someone yet? 4 months can feel like a long time, but there's only so close you can get to someone in that time. Do you really really fancy him?
I thi... (read in full...)
I cheated on him when drunk but I suspect he cheated too!
Q. Okay, I'll probably get judged for this post but what the hell my head is FRIED!! I could seriously do with some non-judgmental advice, oh and by the way, don't tell me to break up with my bf cos it ain't gonna happen. Okay... Me and my bf have bee...
A. 3 March 2011: Dear Anonymous,
Unfortunately there's only so many fronts you can fight on and what's important right now is you. It sounds like your alcoholism is leading down a very self-destructive path and if you don't take care of it soon, everythi... (read in full...)
I keep cancelling dates but I don't want to be lonely!
Q. I split from my daughter's father/my partner 3 and a half years ago, I haven't slept with a single person since. I've never been in a rush to move on as I haven't wanted to introduce anyone in to my daughter's life. I have had many dates but never ...
A. 2 March 2011: Dear Anonymous,
I think it's really admirable that you're so considerate of your daughters feeling and understandable that after a big seperation you are having trouble consumating any new relationships.
I'd say keep spending time with him, i... (read in full...)
He criticizes me and sends mixed signals, should I stay with him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a year now... I am in love with him and feel so low when im not with him.. but I feel as though he is mentally torturing me. He doesnt liek me wearing make up and the other day he gave me an ultimatum betwee...
A. 2 March 2011: As painful as it is, I think you need to walk away from this guy, who will only cause you more pain the longer you stay with him.
He is controlling and manipulative, but I think really you already know that. He's a bully and sadly he will onl... (read in full...)
Will we last if we get together??
Q. So this guy and I both know we fancy each other and have been friends for just over a year. We used to talk for hours, and get along ridiculously well and flirt every now and then. But it wasn't until recently that we both admitted that we liked ...
A. 2 March 2011: In answer to your question...there is only one way to find out. But if you can just try and take things slowly and see what happens. Maybe it'll get to a point where you realise you can't bare to be "just friends" and then you'll know for sure. ... (read in full...)
Her interferring mother has called off the wedding. What advice can I offer, when asked, and not make this fiasco worse?
Q. I was due to attend a wedding next week of two very dear friends. One (him) a relative of mine and she a great friend. It seemed a marriage made in heaven. They both have great jobs. Though she is a tiny bit more qualified than him. That was of...
A. 1 March 2011: I'd have to a agree with Blonde30. Staying out of it is probably easier but offer your friend and relative lots of love and support. Unfortunately that's all you can do to ease such a sad situation.
As an aside, has anyone actually spoken to the ... (read in full...)
If a girl touches a guy, does it mean she likes him? I'm not sure if this girl likes me or not.
Q. Last year we had a uni meeting at a beach and it had been drizzling. I was cold and didn't expect the weather to be that bad, so I had only worn a t shirt and shorts. While we were walking in a group a girl who hangs around me sometimes threw her ...
A. 25 February 2011: It sounds like she is flirting with you. What exactly she means by the flirting is another matter. Perhaps she just enjoys a flirtation, or perhaps she really likes you. I'm sure she at least has a soft spot, or why would she bother flirting at all? ... (read in full...)
How do I let go of the married man I care about?
Q. How do I let go of someone I really care about? We never had an affair but we had feelings for each other. He is married and so am I but it will never be....
A. 25 February 2011: There's no easy way around this problem. What a horrible situation to be in! An important thing to remember is that perhaps if he had tried to take things that extra mile, you would have seen him differently straight away, and he wouldn't be the man ... (read in full...)
I'm concerned! Am I butting into my boyfriend's life?
Q. okay so now my boyfriend isn't really talking to me and when we do talk it's for like 1 minute and most of the time we're just standing there until one of us says k got to go bye! and i also want to know if i'll seem untrustworthy if i ask him why ...
A. 25 February 2011: Dear Baseball, It sounds like your boyfriend has some real family issues, and don't internalise them. He's not being the way he is because you've done something wrong. All you can do is show you're concerned and be supportive. Perhaps just let him ... (read in full...)
Please help - past experience of rape prevents me from enjoying sex!
Q. im a 27 year old women that has a boy friend that is the man of my dreams but when it comes to sex i am so insecure of myself do to past issues of rape. he is a gorgeous man and is 44 years of age he has been popular with many women in porn and yes ...
A. 25 February 2011: I'm so sorry to hear about your awful situation. It sounds to me like you really need to talk to a therapist of some description to help you deal with your feelings about your past and the impact they are having on your sex life. Look for someone ... (read in full...)
Birds of a feather flock together?
Q. if someone has horrible friends, does this mean that they are horrible too? this guy i am sort of interested in has told me that his mates are really bad trouble makers and womanisers, he says he does not 'identify with them any more' but the fact ...
A. 25 February 2011: I understand your reasons for feeling the way you do and you shouldn't feel guilty for experiencing some trepidation-you can't help that! Personally speaking I would say that friends are not always similar. Some of my friends are "wild" while ot... (read in full...)
My small boobs are killing my relationships!
Q. Okay I have really big problems with my relationships.. I have very small boobs between size AA and A (not very sure). When I meet a guys who I like, Im scared to let them get close to me. Often guys asking me out and saying that im nice person.....
A. 24 February 2011: It's such a shame you feel this way as men like all kinds of different women! Many of my male friends have said (charmingly) to me that "more than a handful is too much." And while this may be quite crude, it's absolutely their opinion. Often women ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if she feels the same...
Q. My Gf and I have been dating for just over 2 and a half years.We both work, and she also has a 3 year old daughter which I love to bits,although she is not mine. I love my Gf,but not sure if she feels the same way about me.We only see each ...
A. 24 February 2011: Dear Anonymous,
Sounds like your girlfriend is sending you some very mixed messages. Perhaps she has become so comfortable with you she has become a bit complacent. I can understand your confusion.
The only way to deal with this is communic... (read in full...)
I am gay and still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend. Also, I told a crush that I liked him, but he is straight. HELP!
Q. Hello everyone, Let's say my name is WD. I'm in high school at a small, preppy academy, and I'm gay, but I didn't fully come to this realization until the day before Halloween of last year. A guy, let's call him FC, came out to me; we had been fli...
A. 24 February 2011: Dear WD,
It does sound like a rather confusing situation! I would first of all suggest that you leave FC space to think and give yourself some as well. If you were so happy with him, would you have been looking at other guys? Maybe you would, e... (read in full...)
How can I heighten my sexual experience with my mate?
Q. I'm interested in heightening my sexual experience with my mate. I've done the porn thing with him and while that satisfies my immediate need and his, it doesn't take me where I want to go. I want to be so high on the orgasm that nothing else ...
A. 24 February 2011: I'd agree with CaringGuy, you'll have to get there together. However the best way to get to know your body and what pleases you is a bit of DIY. If you find out which parts get you soaring, it'll be far easier to guide him there!
The way you'll g... (read in full...)
I'm down and depressed over problems that aren't even mine!
Q. So i don't know how to start this really :/ basically, i feel seriously so down and depressed over someone elses problems ... i actually asked a question about this subject a while ago, so please look at that because i go into alot of detail a...
A. 24 February 2011: Dear Claire, This is a tricky situation. First of all I would suggest that perhaps seeing this man so upset affects you so deeply because you have feelings for him, and it's hard to watch someone you care about suffer. I know it's hard but I think... (read in full...)
I cant see a way out of this fog so would really appreciate if someone, somewhere can pull me out of it!
Q. Hello Cupids :) This is complicated so thank you in advance to those who get to the end! I've been with my boyfriend just over a year now, I am 24, he is 31 and I really should feel lucky to be with him, but instead I am ruining this relationshi...
A. 24 February 2011: Dear Noodleness,
It's clear to both of us (and your current boyfriend!) that your last relationship has left you quite damaged. However, it sounds like you went straight from one boyfriend to the other, using your current boyfriend to fix unre... (read in full...)
Secrets...???
Q. Alright so, i'm asking on behalf of my best friend, she has a boyfriend and they're very close. They were friends beforehand and they've been going out for just over a month. Anyway the issue is that he has told her some of his secrets and he's...
A. 24 February 2011: Dear Anonymous,
In a word no. While it's nice that this guy felt he could open up to your friend quite quickly it doesn't mean she's obligated to do the same. Confiding in people comes easier to some than others and being pressurized to do so is... (read in full...)
Does he care more than he is letting on or does he not?
Q. Hi,I'm hoping out there some of you can help me understand this man i'm seeing better,as he is giving me so many differant signals that i'm not sure what to make of him. we have been having a relationship for many yrs, and he has told me many tim...
A. 24 February 2011: Dear Anonymous,
It sounds like this man is being really rather selfish. While I know it's hard because you still care about him, I think you deserve someone who reciprocates your feelings for them. Also, the premise for any relationship shouldn'... (read in full...)
I have just had a miscarriage and he told me he cant deal with this right now, and wants a break! Should I fight for him?
Q. I've been with the same guy on and off for two and a half years. Its' a long distance relationship, we live at opposite ends of the country, but we see each other as often as we can. I recently (in the last week) had a miscarraige we didnt know I ...
A. 24 February 2011: Dear anonymous,
I'm very sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. I think you do yourself an injustice, most people don't realise how strong they can be until they have to be.
It's awful to be let down at a time when you are suf... (read in full...)
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