I worry about divorce - even though I'm not married yet!
Q. Hi I'm 18 years old and going to uni, but i keep thinking of the future. Should I be thinking about divorce at this moment in time and trying to think of ways to prevent it from happening to me? Also I read a question on here about divore, would ...
A. 30 August 2006: Hey,
It's fine to be thinking about the future and to be cautious of the things which bother you, but don't dwell on it too much.
These days being in a long term relationship and not getting married is not so taboo - and there's no divor... (read in full...)
Help! My periods are very heavy!! What can I do to help it ?
Q. I Have a major Period problem. atleast thats what i think. I'm a teen and i started my period 2 and a half years ago, and i suffer so badly when they come they last for 5 days and i spend atleast 10 minutes in the toilet each time. When im ...
A. 30 August 2006: Hey,
I'm a little late to this one, but my additional 2p worth would be definitely visit a GP because if your periods are heavy you may also be anaemic (iron deficiency) and this makes you feel really really tired. Honestly, it's like nothing ... (read in full...)
I like my supervisor but he said he's in a relationship, but I can't help thinking he wants me!
Q. I really like the supervisor in my office and we have been flirting non-stop. I plucked up the courage to ask him out and he said 'for now I'm in a relationship, so at the moment anything other than a friendship would not be possible at this time.' ...
A. 26 August 2006: In addition to all this good advice, I wanted to add that I think you ought to be cautious about this man because of the work relationship you have. By that I mean, because he's your supervisor he could affect your career, or your pay rise or your ... (read in full...)
My ex was the biggest slob, we have a kid together - how do I act around her now? (long post)
Q. SOMEONE HELP. I KNOW IT IS LONG, BUT I NEED HELP FAST!!!! I was with a girl for three and half years, living together for 3. We have now split and i am heartbroken, although i am starting to think, "lucky escape". She lived like a slob, never c...
A. 25 August 2006: Hey,
Wow! You've got loads of stuff going down with you I'd say! Your post is a barrel of emotions many conflicting, no wonder you're having trouble about what to do!
I get a strong feeling from you of anger and disbelief about the whole ... (read in full...)
My fiancee wants to experiment with another girl!
Q. My fiancee wants to experiment with another girl, I see this as cheating, but also am quite turned on by the thought. She also wants a 3some with me and another girl, I just feel that seeing her being intimate with somebody else, end vice versa, c...
A. 24 August 2006: Hey anon,
I reckon if you're having concerns about this now, then allowing it to go ahead could spell trouble. Although the idea of two girls getting it on, and a 3some may be your fantasies come true, I wonder how you'll actually cope with it,... (read in full...)
Got drunk, slept with my best male friend. Now I have deeper feelings and am getting depressed about it...
Q. He's been my best friend for more than two years now, and I've been in love with him from the day we met. We recently had a brief fling that started as a night of drinking too much. I knew it was a bad idea because I knew he wasn't really interested ...
A. 23 August 2006: Ouch!
You sound like you already know it isn't going to work out. Is that really the case? You say he wasn't interested in you - and you may be right, but I just wanted to check it wasn't just his embarassment at having a fling with a close fr... (read in full...)
Does he want a casual relationship or a serious one? He keeps giving me mixed signals! What should I do?
Q. hi, im 18 and im seeing this guy who's 30 he has a daughter whos 8, he seems really caring but i dont know whether he wants a casual relationship or a serious relationship, and the thing is there is too much people that will get hurt if we are ...
A. 22 August 2006: Hey anonymous,
Is there any link to when he's serious and when he's trying it on? It could be that when other people are around he's too concerned about what they think to be playful, when when they're not around - he's more open? It could ju... (read in full...)
Can I make it easier for him to make a move?
Q. Hi peeps, I am really confused at the moment and could do with some advice so please help! :) I met someone at the beginning of July and had been chatting to him over MSN for a month or 2 before that, liked him then as a friend but also thought...
A. 22 August 2006: Hey lostinlove!
You sound like you need Flirting 101!
- Tell him you enjoy his company
- physical contact is good, touch his arm, link arms (even better at the cinema you can lean into him to talk to him during the movie - quiet cos you'll hav... (read in full...)
Attracted to my girlfriend's friend: she's hot, but she's got problems! I lie about the attraction and I hate it...
Q. It started as a crush, but my feelings grow. And I don't know why!! I love my girlfriend very much and have no intention of leaving. The other woman is one of her best friends if not her best- she also lives across the street, has a drinking ...
A. 22 August 2006: Hey Goodboybad!
I personally think that recognising you've got a crush on someone is the first step to dealing with it in a positive way. So knowing how you feel, if I were you, I'd take the other ladies advice and avoid the drumming lessons ... (read in full...)
I like my best male friend - should I tell him and risk our friendship?
Q. Hi my best friend is the guy that I like and I'm not sure whether I need to just tell him and see how he reacts, or whether I should keep it a secret incase he has different feelings for me and wants to stay friends. I am afraid that if i tell him ...
A. 22 August 2006: For me, this is the million dollar question!! :))
Part of me says tell him, be honest. The other (far more cautious part) says play it cool and see how things work out.
So here are my Pros and Cons:
Pros:
- He's already your best mate,... (read in full...)
I have 3 failed marriages behind me - should I tell my new love?
Q. I am a 49 yr old male, three failed marriages behind me, 1 my fault the others not. i have recently met the women of my life and not of my dreams, looks fade personality is forever. She does not know about my first two marriages and I am really ...
A. 22 August 2006: Hey Gary,
I wasn't sure about your statement, 'woman of my life, not of my dreams'. Something about it made me feel unsure about where you were coming from exactly..... but then you said she was awesome, so I guess you like her??
But anywa... (read in full...)
Married 9 years, had sex with another man, now he feels bad for it!
Q. I have been married 9 yrs. and recently had sex with another man. We had been flirting for months and I thought we really liked each other. I had only been with my husband sexually, so this was a huge leap of faith for me. My "friend" won't really ...
A. 21 August 2006: At face value he doesn't sound like a sincere guy - sorry!!
He was happy enough flirting with you and took it as far as having sex and now he says that he didn't want to get into the middle of your marriage???? Sadly, it sounds to me like he ... (read in full...)
It's too late to apply for journalism and withdraw from psychology-any ideas on what I can do to resolve this?
Q. I am about to start university next month, studying Psychology. However, i want to be a magazine journalist. The reason I didn't choose journalism in the first place was that my english teacher had little faith in me and would constantly tell ...
A. 21 August 2006: Hey,
As far as I know it's never too late to change your course at Uni, a friend of mine did it after her first term.....
I'd advise applying through clearing for your Journalism course and see if you can get a place that way - or ring your ad... (read in full...)
My best mate is annoying the hell outta me! Should I tell her?
Q. When somebody close to you annoys you, is it best to tell them and get it out in the open? I find it hard to talk about stuff like that and my best mate has been really annoying me lately. It frustrates me a lot and maybe this is made worse because ...
A. 21 August 2006: Hey, you're learning a valuable life lesson here - to say something or to keep it in????? If there was one simple answer to this I wish someone would tell me!!
Sometimes it is best to let things go. Other times it's best to confront them. M... (read in full...)
Ladies:- Being a toned guy would it be better to wear Briefs or boxers ?
Q. Lady's. im am an athletic build and my whole body is toned. would wearing briefs turn a girl off or would boxers be the best option?...
A. 16 August 2006: I think tight fitting boxers also, like those ones that Calvin Klein do. Briefs are sooo 1980's (and not in a cute retro way!) Remember that scene from Notting Hill with the welsh guy who answers the door in his briefs - not a good look..... (not ... (read in full...)
Now normal is it for dad to perve at his daughters?
Q. hi, i'm 15. almost fully grown. is it normal for your own dad to look at their daughters bums or legs or boobs? cos i go and get a drink and i turn round to where my dad is, on the sofa and hes looking at my bum. i saw my mates dad look at her bum ...
A. 16 August 2006: Hey,
I just saw Malyce's answer to you and it kinda freaked me that there's the suggestion from your few words that your Dad hasn't been brought up right and invariably uses porn to dictate his sexual fantasies. It seems like an overreac... (read in full...)
My daughter, her father and me
Q. well in a few weeks my daughter will be legal 18 that is iam feeling that,that will be the end of my relationship what ever distant with her father. i know that this is my issue and not hers how do i deal with this as she will always be his daug...
A. 12 August 2006: Hey,
you don't say why you're upset about this arrangement coming to an end - do you still hold a candle for your daughter's father?
Even though she's 18, she's still going to need stuff from her parents, help through college, first place to l... (read in full...)
Getting my girl back!
Q. me and my girlfriend hav broken up.it s been a few weeks now.it ended because i kissed another girl.i ve been desperately trying to get her back but to no avail.we still talk every day and let each other know of our movements.ireally want to be with ...
A. 12 August 2006: If you've got *ANY* chance of getting her back (and it might take some serious work on your side) you're gonna have to stop playing it cool and tell her how you really feel.
The fact that she's speaking to you at all after what happened is a goo... (read in full...)
We were friends-with-benefits for 3 days before she admitted she's decided to become a dominatrix! Now she won't return my calls...
Q. I had a big crush on a woman about ten years ago. We had a good friendship and she contacted me intermittently over the passing years while we went our separate ways. She contacted me most recently and we started hanging out again. Things went ...
A. 10 August 2006: hey,
this sounds to me like she confessed stuff to you which in retrospect she wishes she hadn't. This hasn't necessarily got anything to do with you personally. You said that she likes her privacy a lot, so the fact that she confessed these th... (read in full...)
We're friends and I want more. So does he, I think, but it's so awkward!
Q. I've known this boy, *James*, for nearly three years now and we've been very flirty in the past but nothing serious. But for the past year I've really fancied James and I dont know how he feels about me because he's always giving me mixed messages. ...
A. 10 August 2006: Hey,
can you be sure he's not on holiday somewhere - or just run out of credit on his phone?
Have you texted him? You could ask him if he wants to meet up sometime??? Or just be coy and ask him how his holidays are going???
Just cos he's not tex... (read in full...)
Any suggestions to use my IT skills to get a job?
Q. THE GOVERNMENT SAYS RETRAIN I am almost 50 and I am a dyslexic despite this I have obtained a 2:1 homers degree in computer studies and a Teaching degree in ICT also 4 grade C GCEs including Maths and English and at the moment I am studying...
A. 9 August 2006: You didn't say what kind of job you actually wanted - I have assumed you want to be an IT trainer??
You can do this freelance, but it could be tough without experience. But have you thought about VSO? They often need IT experts. You also don... (read in full...)
We're friends and I want more. So does he, I think, but it's so awkward!
Q. I've known this boy, *James*, for nearly three years now and we've been very flirty in the past but nothing serious. But for the past year I've really fancied James and I dont know how he feels about me because he's always giving me mixed messages. ...
A. 9 August 2006: hey,
Well, first of all, I think if he didn't like you one way or another (either as a friends or more) then he wouldn't have come back to being friends with you, so that's a good start!
I think the other poster who said don't fess up your fee... (read in full...)
Has she really got a boyfriend or did she lie because she was scared ?
Q. Hi i'm 20 and I have a problem, about 2 months ago a friend of mine told me that her little sister (who is 16) fancyed me and wouldn't go down to the pub that night if I didn't go with her, so I gave her a call and asked her if this was true and she ...
A. 9 August 2006: Hmmm, sounds to me like she was lying - sorry!!
It could be that she did already have a boyfriend, but then why would she go on these 'dates' with you and kiss you? If she has a boyfriend then she's been cheating on him, so that makes her a bi... (read in full...)
Are sex stories just as bad as looking at porn ?
Q. I know that a lot of women are uncomfortable about their partner looking at porn, but is men reading sex stories just as bad?...
A. 9 August 2006: Do you mean erotic stories?!?
Ummm, personally I'm don't mind porn per-se (although I would mind if he was looking at it in secret.)
But turning your question on it's head, I imagine that reading sex stories could be quite an erotic thing to ... (read in full...)
I realise hes now not the one, but how do I break it gently!?
Q. I have been living with my boyfriend for a year and a half. After a lot of soul searching, I realize that he is not "the one" for me. In fact, I have been hanging onto the relationship, thinking that it's okay for now, but not what I want ...
A. 9 August 2006: Well you're right, he'll be hurt......
Be straightfoward about it, tell him plainly and try to avoid the cliches (cos they always cause rows). Be honest but without being cruel. If you've found someone else, tell him if he asks because it'd be ... (read in full...)
I need advice for a memorable 16th birthday party
Q. Hey, My situation isn't as serious as others however it is getting to me a little bit. My sweet sixteenth birthday is coming up soon and I'm in a dilema as what I should do. I wanna do something that people will remember but I dont want it to be to ...
A. 8 August 2006: It doesn't matter what age you're at, the thing that people will remember most is having a good time.
So what's you're idea of a good time? Party? going out? a club??? (too young? hassle getting in?) something like bowling or cinema??... (read in full...)
She is the dominant one in our marriage!
Q. I never thought one day I come here and write this, so please help me if you can: I married just 6 months ago, we knew each other for over a year before get married. The problem is she wants to be so dominant in everything, she is earning much mor...
A. 7 August 2006: Money and marriage......
If you don't/can't talk about money up front and honestly, then you're going to have a rocky road.
On the other hand if you can work it out, you're going to come out the other side a lot stronger.
But maybe I can... (read in full...)
Do I risk giving my guy a third chance, or give his cousin a whirl instead?
Q. Hi I really like this guy that I broke up with at the beginning of the year and I thaught that he liked me too, but he just turned around and lied to me and I really like his cousin too. I dont know whether I should wait and give him a third chance ...
A. 7 August 2006: Hey,
You make it sound like an either/or question. EITHER the guy from before OR the cousin.
Firstly the first guy...... he doesn't sound like a good guy. He lied to you and ignored you for two months. What's that about? And a third chan... (read in full...)
My fella is not divorced and we love each other to bits
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, I have currently been with my fella for 9 years and am as happy as a sandboy. One problem at moment. He's already been parted ready for divorce before I came along as I don't believe in interferring in this side of things. ...
A. 7 August 2006: Hey,
You've been together a long time and you're happy together. But she's pressurising for cash to sign the divorce papers.
If you think she's being unreasonable and basically don't want to pay her to go away, then see a solicitor and th... (read in full...)
I feel awful about our friendship
Q. Oh god i have no idea how to word this. but ill try my best. ioneof my previouse questions wasa bout a lad showing his sister some of the texts i sent him. well recently i found out he didnt show her she took his fone but thats another story. Theres ...
A. 7 August 2006: Ouch!
I think all things considered you did pretty OK - I mean when you showed her the texts, you only showed her the ones which were complimentary about her - and nothing else.
Not only that but you're right, he was insensitive to a... (read in full...)
where is this relationship heading?
Q. I have a hideously long backstory with this boy I've known for almost two years. We met completely by chance, and we became extremely close friends straight away. We've always been very cuddly and content to be in each other's company (people were ...
A. 4 August 2006: Yes I think he's after you 'romantically' ;-)
And you do want to be with him, so this is a good start!!
But if you're concerned about what it all means, have the conversation. What about over email or IM? I've recently had the exact conver... (read in full...)
My co-worker seems to like me on and off - Is there anything I can do?
Q. There is this guy that works for the same organization as I do, and i really think something could happen relationship wise with him. I asked him to go out to the bar with my friends and we had a great time. We all came bake to my apt and watched ...
A. 4 August 2006: I guess from partner you mean work partner not relationship partner?
Sounds to me like he likes you and is shy - hence taking his buddy along as wingman.
Maybe another lunch - you've done it once, why not again. If it goes OK, then say som... (read in full...)
I don't want to be near her, help!
Q. There is this 17 year-old girl in my karate class, who I absolutely don't want to be friends with. She is way more girly and acts much more grown-up than me, and I feel uncomfortable talking to and being around her. I understand that she is trying ...
A. 4 August 2006: It's odd to feel so strongly about someone that you *don't* want to know, even as much as to post about it here.
Why should you feel like you have to talk to her or be friends? You can be polite without having to be her next best friend. ... (read in full...)
I have an odd relationship!
Q. I have known this guy for several years, and we've had the oddest relationship. The only real time we see eachother is at crucial/difficult points in our life when we need soemone there for support. We come together instintcually, and during these ...
A. 4 August 2006: I don't mean this to sound harsh, but the times you have come together as you descibe during difficult times, has that been mainly when *he's* going through a difficult time or an even split of you and him?
Reason I ask is because it sounds a... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to ask my husband to go out so I can have the house to myself?
Q. Married for thirty years. Is it wrong of me to ask my husband to go out so I can have the house to myself sometimes? He is refusing, so I go out instead. Would like the house to myself sometimes. Need my own space. Any advice?...
A. 4 August 2006: I think everyone needs their own space, so I can totally relate.
It's a shame that it's come to you having to ask your husband to go out though to get that space, it's a pity he's not more sensitive to it.
But if he won't give you the time in ... (read in full...)
Do women prefer a hairy chest or shaved chest?
Q. what do women prefer, a hairy chest or a shaved chest?...
A. 4 August 2006: phwwwooooorraaaah, god! I love a man's hairy chest
And when they have their shirts unbuttoned just enough to show a glimpse of it........ phew! I'm getting all distracted just thinking about!!... (read in full...)
Why are women such idiots!
Q. Last Wednesday I had a teeney tiny argument with my girlfriend, I later on apologised (even though it wasn't my fault). On Friday I asked her did she want to do something or go somewhere and got no reply.....fine. On Sunday still no word so I rang ...
A. 4 August 2006: Hey!
It's not idiocy, it's immaturity and being a touch naive. And that's not necessarily always a bad thing - although it has been annoying for you. (understandably)
Your gf was only reacting to the criticism of her gay-friend. But ... (read in full...)
The relationship's going well, and I don't know how to broach the subject of my difficult finances!
Q. I have recently met a lady who I like a lot. Unfortunately she earns about three times as much as me and I am in debt. I just don't know how to tell her as the relationship is going so well. We are planning to go on holiday soon and to be honest, I ...
A. 2 August 2006: Whatever happens don't get into more debt. It's REALLY important.
Talk to her. Be honest. Don't come across like you're looking to her to bail you out. (I'm not saying you are!)
No one (decent) would want to see someone they love get in... (read in full...)
I think he cares about his "sex buddy", but I love him, what should I do ?
Q. i have a guy friend who has a sex buddy. he claims thats all they are, but the way he acts makes it seem he likes her. he wants to know pretty much everything about her, and he says how funny she is, etc. i know shes not interested in that way, but ...
A. 2 August 2006: Hey,
At face value this sounds like:
- He really does like her.
- She's more to him than a sex buddy.
- By not admitting to you that he likes her he can avoid the situation - perhaps just with you, maybe he's avoiding dealing with it himself.... (read in full...)
I haven't seen him in 25 years. Am I crazy for wanting to see him?
Q. i'm humilated but here goes. was in a relationship with someone including a brief marriage for 5-6 years, we divorced i have not seen him in 25 years. now i feel i must talk to him. called once ask to see him to clear the air, he said he had a ...
A. 2 August 2006: Oooooh, this smacks of unfinished business!
Why not call to meet up again, and say he can bring his wife along as well. He might feel uncomfortable otherwise. You'll get a feel for things whether she's there or not. And if you really think yo... (read in full...)
I think I love him. What do I do?
Q. i am confussed with my love life. i have known this lad for a year and i think i have fell in love with him what can i do?...
A. 2 August 2006: tell us more to start with!
How you know him, your ages, how he behaves around you, stuff you've done together, likelihood he feels the same?
Why do you think you've fallen in love? How you feel about it and what you want to happen ultimately..... (read in full...)
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