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male
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*oodboybad
writes: It started as a crush, but my feelings grow. And I don't know why!! I love my girlfriend very much and have no intention of leaving. The other woman is one of her best friends if not her best- she also lives across the street, has a drinking problem, tends to be rude and self righteous.. and I think I love her, but man do I absolutely hate her sometimes!I've only recently had to deal with this because until a few months ago she had a boyfriend- and that was a very volatile relationship. She'll talk openly to my Girl and tells her when she's horny... oh gawd! And she's pretty hot.It gets worse. She's taking drumming lessons from me and we are together (twice a month or so) sometimes alone when my girl isn't home. My girlfriend tends to be jealous and is constantly drilling me "you don't have a crush on" or more bluntly "don't have sex with * today k?". So I'm constantly lying to her! I think this may pass but the lies.. I hate having to lie but I must continue for fear of losing her. Does this make me an aweful person? Ughhh!!!
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female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Hey Goodboybad!
I personally think that recognising you've got a crush on someone is the first step to dealing with it in a positive way. So knowing how you feel, if I were you, I'd take the other ladies advice and avoid the drumming lessons - or make them so that other people are around - say a group of your friends or your girlfriend?
Something about the whole situation makes me wonder if she's coming onto you a bit, knowing that you have a crush?? If she's a bit unstable as you say - keep your guard up - you'll be tempted, but it sounds like she'd tell her best mate (your gf) and then things would turn ugly.
The other thing about her ex-relationship makes me think she's looking for some fun or some attention, so maybe introducing her to some other people might help - get your gf to take her out - or have some dinner parties where she can meet other people and you can make it clear your focus is on your girlfriend.
They say there's a fine line between love and hate and it sounds to me like you're walking it. I think you'd find if anything happened you'd quickly end up on the side of hate rather than love - so take care!
Good luck,
Anon2907
A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Stop giving her drum lessons and don't be alone with her. Also, you say you love your girlfriend? Then stop thinking about her best friend. How dare you criticise her for "drilling" you with questions when she's bloody well right! She has good reason to be jealous if her boyfriend is fantasising about her friend. I hope she reads this and dumps you. Pfffft.
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