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male
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anonymous
writes: I have recently met a lady who I like a lot. Unfortunately she earns about three times as much as me and I am in debt. I just don't know how to tell her as the relationship is going so well. We are planning to go on holiday soon and to be honest, I can't afford it. Should I get further in debt on my credit card to go through with this? She says she loves me but I am scared of losing her also I am worried that she might think I am going out with her only because she is wealthy, which I am most certainly not.Any thoughts would be appreciated!
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female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (2 August 2006):
 Whatever happens don't get into more debt. It's REALLY important.
Talk to her. Be honest. Don't come across like you're looking to her to bail you out. (I'm not saying you are!)
No one (decent) would want to see someone they love get into debt to match their spending in a relationship. You don't have to cancel the holiday entirely, why not go away somewhere close by? Or take time off work together and spend it on days out etc.
If you explain your reluctance to bring it up because of the financial differences between you then I'm sure she'll understand. And be aware that longer term this is something you'll need to talk about openly and honestly on a regular basis - so many relationships hit rocks over money so it's important to keep your cards on the table, especially where you're coming from different financial states.
Good Luck, hope it all goes OK.
Anon2907
A
female
reader, sim sam 2013 +, writes (2 August 2006):
Well that tells me you love her unconditionaly and that is very good you can tell her that your in debt and if she understood she would help you dont be afraid to tell the women you love your debt problems you guys could always share the money together and if you tell her you love and will always love her no matter what rich or poor i think she will understand.
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