Is it just me of has anyone else noticed the same assumptions and consolations that people make when someone says that they've never had a girlfriend and are having difficulty finding one?
Q. Is it just me of has anyone else noticed the same assumptions and consolations that people make when someone says that they've never had a girlfriend and are having difficulty finding one? 1) You have to be happy alone before you can be with some...
A. 1 July 2013: I feel you, and your guess is as good as mine as far as how to find someone. I don't feel I'm deficient in anything, either, yet I've been single for two years. It is what it is. Just gotta enjoy your life as it is no matter the circumstance. ... (read in full...)
After 3 years he still introduces me as a friend?
Q. Three years dating and I'm still introduced as a "friend." Hurt like hell but I'm stupid. He's a sweet guy in other ways, we get along SO well, he cares for me and it's obvious in how he helps me and soothes me when I'm down. People say he's in love ...
A. 4 April 2013: After three years, you're not being "tricked". If you truly didn't like being introduced as the "friend" you would've stopped showing up as the "friend" a long time ago. He can't do more than what you let him. A man that loves you, CLAIMS YOU! Thi... (read in full...)
I don't want to be this man's toy and then he moves on!
Q. I'm currently dating a Saudi guy (we are both studying abroad): he is an awesome person and hanging out with him is fun (on a mental level). We hang out, been a little physical (foreplay) but haven't gone all the way yet. I'm afraid that once we ...
A. 4 April 2013: If you don't learn anything else in this life, learn to trust your gut. If he's not already married and trying to play the field, he might have an arranged situation already in the works. In some cultures they definitely sticks to their own ... (read in full...)
Could he be falling in love again with his ex? I am so afraid of being abandoned all over again
Q. So devastated I can't eat, or sleep, am an absolute mess. Suppose you're in a relationship with a divorced man... His ex-wife is aware of your relationship, and she harbors hatred and spite towards you... they get on well and see each other ...
A. 30 March 2013: Are you sure he's divorced? Not just by way of "taking his word for it" but having actually SEEN the legal divorce decree??? Men lie, as I've fallen for this one... If he's divorced he'll either have or be able to acquire the paperwork to prove ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my ex whom I dated for only about four months
Q. This is going to sound pathetic but I can't stop thinking about my ex whom i only dated for about four months. We broke up 8 months ago. He drug the relationship out for about a month before the split, and right after we broke up I cut contact with ...
A. 18 March 2013: You won't ALWAYS miss him, but you may miss him for a while. Sometimes there's certain people that get under our skin despite the brief time they might've actually been in our lives. Even if it takes a year or more, trust me: you WILL get over it as ... (read in full...)
I love him and can see him in my future but he can't?
Q. Those who aren't a Chrisitan please dont reply! I met my bf at a christmas party at church. We are both christian but he is a bit more christian then I am (which isnt an issue). His family did everything together at church and mine really didn...
A. 18 March 2013: I am a Christian, but the situation your describing isn't unique to Christians. It's just another case of the good ol' mismatch, or unrequited love. Trying to speculate/psychoanalyze why people do the things they do is usually an effort in futility. ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him in the hopes that he would realize he still loved me if he felt he was losing me, should I have been more patient?
Q. I'm unsure if I made a huge mistake or if it is just my mind playing games with me. I had been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. I moved to Florida a year ago so one out of those two years and a half were long distance. At first it wa...
A. 18 March 2013: I don't think your intention was to "play games". You were just looking for reassurance of his love, which unfortunately you weren't able to find. Sounds like he was pulling the "slow fade"; withdrawing contact in hopes that you would get the point ... (read in full...)
I posted an ad for no strings attached sex but now I've changed my mind
Q. I went on craigslist for a NSA encounter...but now I want to back out of it. The guy has my email address (my real one) so I worried he may find me... is this silly? I do have a FB account obviouly under my own name. He wants to meet up this wee...
A. 9 July 2012: Just because you post an ad doesn't mean you're obligated to do anything. You can continue to ignore him and eventually he'll get the hint. Or you can send him a brief email stating in so many words that you had a change of heart and then block him ... (read in full...)
Can happiness cover up the truth?
Q. When your hubby is having an affair can you make it go away by letting everyone know that your happy and everything is perfect?...
A. 28 March 2012: True happiness comes from facing the truth of any situation, appreciating what's good, and rectifying what's wrong. You cannot achieve true happiness by deluding yourself with blatant falsehoods. You might be able to subsist for a period of time, ... (read in full...)
Will all the men I meet be damaged goods?
Q. Is 43 too old to find a partner capable of a mature but fun and equal relationship? Does it help that I look younger, even though I don't want a younger partner? I am recently out of a relationship that lasted almost two decades and can see where ...
A. 4 October 2011: The opinion you have of yourself is the one that other's will adopt, so ALWAYS If you go around thinking and behaving as though you're "damaged goods", then that's how you'll be training other's to perceive you and treat you as well. You're not ... (read in full...)
I applied the 'no contact' rule, but last night I caved in and texted him
Q. Recently I wrote about the affair that I had ended I've been working really hard on keeping busy etc but last night I broke 'no contact' and text him. What should I do if he replies? Should I just ignore it and carry on with NC? I've tried d...
A. 25 September 2011: The NC rule. It's necessary to kickstart the process of moving on, but it doesn't do anything to mend our souls and purge our hearts of these "men". If at all possible, stick with it. I've had my fair share of engaging and later breaking the NC ... (read in full...)
I want to send my ex a 'hello' message but I don't want him to get the wrong idea
Q. Hey, my ex and I broke up like 6 months ago. I told him that he had to let me go and I had to let go of him too, that we needed not to contact each other (he started seeing another girl, but still kinda would text me and reach out to me). I know ...
A. 25 September 2011: Happy or not happy, he still made the choice to choose her over you. Let him live with his decision. By now he's probably thinking you're happily living life without him. He probably wonders about you occasionally, or perhaps more than just ... (read in full...)
The old "love of my life" wants to catch up and talk, do I tell my BF?
Q. The old "love of my life" wants to catch up and talk, do I tell my BF? I know I'd want to know if my BF was meeting his ex. But I'm thinking guys don't care that much. What's the proper way to deal with this?...
A. 21 September 2011: Love this quote, and we should always keep it in mind regarding the past:
"When the past calls, send it to voicemail. It doesn't have anything new to say."
I doubt your ex is any different, otherwise he wouldn't be an EX.... (read in full...)
He gets out of jail soon. Should I leave my abusive boyfriend now or stay and try again with him?
Q. Hi I'm new here and this is my first time using a site like this. I just hope to get the best out of it. Anyways, so, I have a boyfriend who's incarcerated at the present moment and he's very verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive. I'm in love...
A. 12 September 2011: Why is this even a question??? He's lying. He will abuse you again. He's already threatened your life. He's 35 and seems to have nothing better going for himself then being on the run and locked up. Seriously??? What are you losing by leavin... (read in full...)
She has torn my family apart but will not speak to her family about our relationship!
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-left-my-wife-for-her-and-now.html this is my previous post.... now to update a little... i have received 3 phone calls this week from ELF and she has finally told me her reasons for ending it: She d...
A. 1 July 2011: She's giving you excuses, just like anybody does when they truly DO NOT want to be with a person. If she truly wanted you, nothing would keep her from you, not even her parents. Kids rebelling against their parents in the name of love is never an ... (read in full...)
My lover said its none of my business if she's cheating on me!
Q. Have been dating my lover for the past 11mnths and i discovered about 2 weeks ago that she is having afair with another guy. I accused her for this yesterday night and she said it is non of my business if she is cheating on me then she slapped me. ...
A. 23 May 2011: If that's how she really feels, then your relationship is already over. She feels no accountability or responsibility with regards to this relationship, and she'll keep doing whatever she's been doing as long as you're willing to take it. Don't. ... (read in full...)
I need to find a way to break up with him!
Q. I keep giving my boyfriend chances and he is clearly not changing .I need to find a way to break up with him ,but the thing is he is a controling person ,and I gave him to much power .He is expecting me to stay with him .To be honnest I read an ...
A. 6 May 2011: I'm glad you own your portion of the responsibility in this situation, as people can only treat you how you allow them to. That said, if you really are done and don't want to deal with him anymore, TELL HIM. Then block his calls, texts, and emails. ... (read in full...)
Insecure with our b/f g/f relationship
Q. I'm in a confusing situation. My bf and I have lived together for 3. 1/2 years out of our 4 and a half year relationship. I've been upset lately because our talks about getting married are discouraging. I know u aren't supposed to compare your ...
A. 27 April 2011: You don't get married because "everybody's doing it". You get married when the two of you want to and the time is right. With the divorce rate being where it is these days, I hope you realize there is no hurry. Those who got married despite not ... (read in full...)
Is this his way of telling me he loves me?
Q. Recently I asked the man who i am currently seeing (it's been more than a year)if he loved me and his response was "I always have". Is this his way of saying that he does love me without saying those ohhhh so hard three little words most guys ...
A. 25 April 2011: Men mean what they say. Why must everything be completely dissected? Just take him at his word and stop splitting hairs about how he phrased it. He's not going to say things the way you would because he's not you. He gave you an honest answer, and ... (read in full...)
Why did he let me get away with this? (FwB question)
Q. Long story short, I've got a friend with benefits and I made a huge mistake. He took to long to respond to a text, and then told me he was busy. And I got pissy at him and told him to talk to me when he decided I was worth talking to. I pre...
A. 25 April 2011: What "help" are you looking for? He doesn't have to answer you or do anything at all if he doesn't want to because you're not his girlfriend! You are a no obligation sexual toy (and yes, oral sex is sex). You're just who he goes to for sexual ... (read in full...)
Husband left me for another woman even though he knows shes no good!
Q. This is an SOS call, I feel like my heart has been smashed into a thousand pieces. My husband has left me and now I feel I have lost my best friend, my sole mate and my lover :o( We've been together 6 years and married 2 years on 3rd May! Sum...
A. 24 April 2011: Each party needs to own their portion of the relationship and the reasons for why it failed. You'd like to be perceived as the "victim wife", and by no means is he absolved of cheating, but you obviously haven't been giving your husband whatever it ... (read in full...)
Why did he let me get away with this? (FwB question)
Q. Long story short, I've got a friend with benefits and I made a huge mistake. He took to long to respond to a text, and then told me he was busy. And I got pissy at him and told him to talk to me when he decided I was worth talking to. I pre...
A. 24 April 2011: If you're not sleeping with him, then what "benefits" are you providing or receiving with this friendship? I doubt it's entirely platonic since whatever's going on has got you throwing tantrums. If you're on this site asking about this kind of ... (read in full...)
How do you know when your bf is cheating?
Q. How do you know when your bf is cheating on you? Everyone says you can tell. Im just not sure, or if I am just being too suspicious. My bf keeps telling a few white lies about where he is at but I have found out where he is at and who with and I kn...
A. 24 April 2011: If he's up to no good he won't be able to hide it forever. You can either wait until he busts himself (because eventually he will), or just end the relationship amicably because "it's not working for you". I don't recommend becoming a private ... (read in full...)
He has cheated on me at least 6 times but still I am with him!
Q. Im so stuck. I feel lost and heartbroken. And im really uncertain of what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now. I have always been faithful to him. Completely stopped talking to other boys infact to make him feel better. Although ...
A. 24 April 2011: You love him more than you love yourself. Never a good position to put yourself in. If you have to choose between loving yourself and loving somebody else, ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU!!! A relationship that's worth being in compliments your life and en... (read in full...)
Why did he let me get away with this? (FwB question)
Q. Long story short, I've got a friend with benefits and I made a huge mistake. He took to long to respond to a text, and then told me he was busy. And I got pissy at him and told him to talk to me when he decided I was worth talking to. I pre...
A. 24 April 2011: FWB in the 13-15 year old category? What the hell is this world coming to??? These situations are tricky enough for seasoned adults to manage, so I can only imagine just how ridiculous this situation is for somebody in your age bracket. Anyways, ... (read in full...)
I'm not happy in this relationship, and it's getting worse and worse every day.
Q. i'm not getting what i need out of the relationship i'm in. i feel like i'm putting in full time effort, and only receiving part time at best in return. my girlfriend works hard and long hours, and has a son from a previous relationship to worry ...
A. 21 April 2011: You have the right to want what you want, and what you're asking for really isn't unreasonable, especially given the circumstances. Some relationships can function off of very little time spent together. It doesn't sound to me like that is the kind ... (read in full...)
Is my married friend just telling me what I want to hear?
Q. I ran into an old friend and we have been seeing each other. for the past three weeks. but the problem is that he is married and wants to leave his wife because she has cheated on him more then once. however he wont tell her that he wants to leave. ...
A. 11 April 2011: If he wanted to leave her he would've after the first or even the second time she supposedly cheated (no way of even verifying whether or not that's true). It seems like he does his own thing on the side, so maybe the situation works for both of ... (read in full...)
How can a boy like a girl and suddenly change their mind?
Q. how can a boy like a girl and suddenly cnage their mind for no reason?...
A. 11 April 2011: There's always a reason for the behavior. Whether or not they'll clue you in on what that reason is is another story...... (read in full...)
We aren't technically dating yet but I slept with someone else. Should I feel guilty?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for the past two months, but we are not dating yet. We talk every day and we hang out once or twice a week but we have talked about where the relationship is going and we both know that we will probably start dating in ...
A. 10 April 2011: Until you're OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL, everything's fair game. If he wanted 100% commitment he wouldn't beat around the bush about it. Never assume, especially the role of girlfriend when you're not even certain if he's behaving like a boyfriend when ... (read in full...)
What should I make of this conversation between my boyfriend and his ex?
Q. What should I make of this conversation between my bf and his ex who I feel he still has feelings for. BOYFRIEND - god i fucken add u for 2 minutes and she went off at me fucken sick of it and i am pissed of at u for not showing up u doit to muc...
A. 10 April 2011: Leave Him.... (read in full...)
I just want people's views please on what they think of my bf who is married to his job
Q. I really need to know what people, other than friends and family, think about my issue. I have been in this relationship for almost a year and I love him more than anything, and I know he loves me a lot too, he has told me this. Our relation...
A. 10 April 2011: Clearly you and this relationship is not his priority. That may not be how he would like for things to be, but unfortunately these are the circumstances he faces at this time. If this isn't working for you, then make a move already. Either stay with ... (read in full...)
If I can't get my act together and trust him, is he saying we have no future together?
Q. when he told me he was buying a house we almost broke up, we decided to try and work things out instead. so after a month of not seeing him and talking just a few times he finally came over for a visit. we had a great night, dinner, a movie and we m...
A. 10 April 2011: He is not your ex. If he hasn't cheated on your or given you any other valid reason to mistrust him, then you need to do as he said and get it together! How would you like being accused and interrogated day in and day out without cause? Imagine how ... (read in full...)
Does he want a committed relationship? How long before a guy should propose?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2years now. He is really an amazing guy most of the time but I feel he really may not be ready to take our relationship to the next level. For e.g, I wanted to use him as my contact in case of an ...
A. 10 April 2011: Instead of hanging around "waiting for him to propose", why not try simply enjoying the relationship you're in? He'll propose when he's ready and in the meanwhile use this time to determine if this is REALLY a man that you could envision yourself ... (read in full...)
Lost my my girlfriend and our 3 month old baby girl in a car accident...How can I get through this?
Q. So on January 10th of this year, I lost my girlfriend and our 3 month old baby girl in a car accident. At first it wasn't really effecting me that much, a few weeks went by and it finally hit. All I can think about is them. Today I saw this little ...
A. 4 April 2011: No, I've never experienced a loss as devastating as the one you described, but I do want to offer you my sincerest condolences. It'll take time, so rely on the support from your family and close friends. Cry if you need to. Pray if you're into that. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want to date me anymore because his family won't accept me
Q. i had relationship with one guy about 6month, he used to call me, pick me from my working place, bt today he used to said that our relation will nt b accepted by my family so we need to do break up, he said me that i have to take decision either ...
A. 1 April 2011: You've already lost him, in fact you don't have him. You can either start the process of moving on now, or delay the inevitable by investing more of yourself just to lose him once he marries the woman his family chooses for him, which just sets you ... (read in full...)
We broke up and he hasn't even tried to get me back. I need closure!
Q. I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago and I am finding it really difficult.We were in a LDR but he hardly ever got in contact which really hurt me. We'd been together 2 years and he wasn't really treating me like a girlfriend, i always came ...
A. 26 March 2011: You're playing games. He didn't treat you like a girlfriend before, so what would make you think he's gonna go out of his way after you dumped him? Don't "act" like you've moved on, just move on. He's not worth the time or the trouble.... (read in full...)
Should I stay or go. Don't want to be 'second' in his life. I think I am about to break up with my boyfriend.
Q. I am about to break up with my boyfriend.. The reason is because I found out sweet messages between some chick who he met years ago.. I checked the messages and sent time, was the time where we went through the darkest time together as a co...
A. 25 March 2011: I think more important than love in a relationship is trust. Without trust you have no peace of mind, no foundation, and any "love" you may feel now will just erode to nothing. You may feel he's the one for you, but you're just one of many for him. ... (read in full...)
If he's married how do I let him go?
Q. Need help. I have dated a guy for two years. Since i was 16 and he was 19. He always told me he loved me, that he wanted to marry me and he treated me well. We have been through a lot but i can honestly say i love him. A few months ago he went ...
A. 24 March 2011: You "let go" by honoring what he asked and not calling anymore. Don't show up on his doorstep, either. It's over. Stay moving on. All you can possibly be from here if you do get back in touch with him is "the other woman" and that's a painfully ... (read in full...)
He's gone back to his country. I am pregnant. Should I tell off my abusive ex or stay a lady ?
Q. Hi I am a 27 year old female. My abusive boyfriend has just ended our relationship. I don't know why he left me I guess I blame myself because I was jealous, but he lied about the computer and talking to other women on porn sites. He hurt me, then...
A. 23 March 2011: "Telling him off" isn't going to accomplish anything, at least nothing that'd be helpful now that you're pregnant. It seems you're on your own with this one, unless your family's there to support you since obviously he and his family could care ... (read in full...)
B/f breaks up with me, says I'm not his type but calls me every day?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had been best friends for 1 year and then we started dating.After 5 months he dumped me via sms saying that he thinks he made a mistake.we didn't have any contact for 8 months.I was devastated and sad because I lost an important ...
A. 23 March 2011: You're a mistake, you're not his type, etc. but you're good enough to talk to and possibly more, just as long as you're NOT in a relationship?
If the only thing that's really holding him back from you is your weight, then he's shallow and you ... (read in full...)
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