I've been a mistress for a long time and am starting to get bored with it all.
Q. Hi guys. I've been a mistress for a long time. I can't really talk to people about this. But I'd like to know if it's normal to grow tired of being in a "relationship" which never grows or evolves? I am feeling tired of being a sex toy. Tired of ...
A. 9 May 2019: You sound like a fairly grounded sensible person, so you must realize that his acceptance of you is TOTALLY conditional on you behaving yourself, putting out whenever and however he wants, and not making waves for him in the life which is important ... (read in full...)
I know I should just walk away .... but I love him.
Q. Hi I wonder if anyone can help me.. So I have been with my boyfriend for just over 3years and also he's an overthinker and recently he was feeling a little depressed. I supported him and was going out of my way to be there all the time .. he was m...
A. 9 May 2019: Loving someone is fine, but you have to love YOURSELF first and foremost. This man CANNOT love YOU if he treats you the way he does. Don't allow him to guilt-trip you just because HE is feeling low.
In your shoes I would send him one last mes... (read in full...)
Does she deserve to know what happened during the break up?
Q. So my partner of five years broke up with me four months ago. She totally broke my heart but we stayed friends and I knew that she wasn't sure if the break up was the right decision but that she needed time to figure things out. She knew that I ...
A. 8 May 2019: Absolutely not. If you are on a break, then you are effectively single. ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of dogs and now I'm in love with a person who has a dog
Q. I'm 33 years old male and as silly as it might sound, I've been terrified of dogs my whole life. When I was 8 years old I was attacked by pack of dogs and I was bitten so severely I had to spend weeks in hospital. I still have scars and ever since ...
A. 8 May 2019: Why should this lady think any less of you because you are afraid of dogs? Now if you HATED dogs, then yes, I could see that being a deal-breaker if she is a dog lover. (I have always had dogs and could never be with someone who hated them.)
Tell ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just stood and watched while I was struggling rather than help me. Was this mean? Selfish?
Q. I went shopping with my boyfriend and I was struggling to carry the bags so one of the bags fell on the floor and I was struggling to pick it up meanwhile my boyfriend just stood there and watched me struggle. I said thanks for helping me and he ...
A. 8 May 2019: Ivyblue hit the nail on the head. He is not a decent person if he can watch ANYBODY struggle and not feel drawn to help, ESPECIALLY if that person is someone known to him and someone he knows has physical issues.
He's an arsehole. Why are you ... (read in full...)
Why would a married man who I barely know tell me that he's in love with me?
Q. Around 5 years ago, I was selected to attend an academic programme in another country. Upon reaching there, I met a guy from my country who was also a participant and we hit it off. There was nothing even remotely romantic... He was married and I ...
A. 8 May 2019: Because his marriage is in a rut (for which he must be at least partly to blame) and because he only spent a short bit of quality time with you and built up a fantasy around that short time. Now, based on that time he shared with you, he thinks you ... (read in full...)
Why does married man come on to me do I look like I date married men?
Q. Dear Cupid I am single and been single for a very long time. Today at work I ran into a guy friend I use to work with at the one company and he always tells me how beautiful I am but he is a married man Im thinking to myself nope I will never stoop ...
A. 7 May 2019: Society conditions us to fit into boxes. We are expected to find a partner, settle down, get married, have kids, stay happily married. If we deviate from "the norm", some people feel a need/right to ask questions.
I CHOSE not to get married ... (read in full...)
My friend lead me on, flirted a lot with me.. then ditched me for another girl forgetting that I existed. I feel hurt and embarrassed, help?
Q. So I'm 25 and I've been friends with this guy for about a year, he's in my friendship group and he previously had a girlfriend, nothing ever happened between us and previously i always just saw him as a friend. Anyway he broke up with his girlfriend ...
A. 4 May 2019: Ask yourself, in the grander scheme of things, will this "incident" really matter? A few months (or even weeks) down the line, you will hardly remember it (although you will probably remember the way you felt, as that is harder to forget).
You a... (read in full...)
He says his affair was my fault. I am emotionally exhausted!
Q. My husband and I have been married for nearly 7 years. I got married young (21) and he was 25. I knew at the time that he was a bit insecure but I guess I was young and naïve. The insecurity is getting worse and worse. A couple of years ago, I h...
A. 3 May 2019: It is strange but true that cheaters very often make accusations against others about cheating. Whether this stems from a guilty conscience, a belief in "what goes round comes round" or a belief that everyone is the same deep down and has no honour, ... (read in full...)
Do they really have these outrageous bills in Nigeria?
Q. I have wrote here before. I had some good advice. It was about my Nigerian husband. I mentioned his mood swings , and I’m unable to ask any questions without his temper flaring up. Ai also mentioned his spending ways and his expections that ...
A. 2 May 2019: It is your role as his wife to support him and keep sending him money for whatever he wants. You should not even be questioning him about it so that you don't add to the poor man's stress. You should be concentrating on working as hard as you can ... (read in full...)
I'd really like a hobby. Should I take a comedy course?
Q. i often put myself down but i can give at least a list of ten things i like about myself and for any of the other cupid users i hope this doesnt come across as big headed but i do think i am naturally a funny , witty creative person . in the pa...
A. 1 May 2019: £90 for a 3 week course sounds remarkably cheap. I assume you mean it will be a couple of hours a week for 3 weeks? Or do you mean £900?
If it really is £90, then I think that is remarkably cheap to find out if you would like/be good at somethin... (read in full...)
Was I too slow in making the right move?
Q. Hello everyone, I met a girl like two month back and from then we started chatting and talking. I really like her even from the first time I saw her, I decided to take things further slowly(from being friend to relationship). But one thing I noticed ...
A. 30 April 2019: Lesson for the future: once you've decided on something, go for it. Nobody can see (or even anticipate) your "intention". It is all about action.
Now you need to sit back and wait to see if this new boyfriend of hers works out. If she stays wi... (read in full...)
I have trouble when living with someone on how to go about getting them to pay part of the bills
Q. Hello. I am a thirty year old parent of 2 who has had a few short term relationships over the last ten years, but for the most part have lived by myself. It seems that once things start to progress into living together, that i really struggle ...
A. 28 April 2019: I agree that this needs to be discussed properly BEFORE someone moves in with you. Perhaps one way to broach the subject is to say something like "I would love you to move in but I am hesitant because, in the past, people have expected me to pay for ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a guy in his late teens/early 20s to fantasise or admire a woman in her late 40s/early 50s??
Q. Younger Men to Older Woman age gap. - Is it possible for a guy in his late teens/early 20s to fantasise or admire a woman in her late 40s/early 50s?? I get along well with a young man who is from a different country, much younger than me and fro...
A. 28 April 2019: I wonder, is it possible he is a long way from home and he sees you as a "mother figure"? If you are kind to him, he will gravitate towards that.
That said, just as some men prefer blondes or brunettes, or slim or curvy women, some men prefer o... (read in full...)
I had sex with another man because its what my husband wanted and now he's mad
Q. How can I fix my marriage? We are married 5yrs and both age 27. For 2yrs my husbby has had a fantasy for me to fuck a hung man. I have resisted. We have used this as fantasy sex talk. Fri night we went out together to a bar and met friends. Later ...
A. 28 April 2019: I do have to wonder if this is for real or is this just more of your fantasy? Your graphic description reads like something out of a bad porn mag. I may be of an older generation to you, but I have to ask: who sits around at parties in their ... (read in full...)
Do you believe in reincarnation or soulmates?
Q. Do any of you believe in reincarnation or soulmates? My partner and I have such a deep connection that was so instant that it was like we've known each other for years. So I was just curious if anyone else has experienced anything similar. ...
A. 27 April 2019: I do believe in soul mates TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. It's curious that people have different definitions of what constitutes a soul mate. My own definition, for what it's worth, is that it is someone who helps your SOUL to grow. The "instant connection" ... (read in full...)
Should I respond to and forgive a homophobic friend?
Q. Time ago I had a friend. We knew each other for a long time, almost 10 years. All this time I was in the closet but then I met this guy and everything got serious between us and that was when I decided I wanted to finally come out. My friend was ...
A. 27 April 2019: While we may not always remember what people said or did, how they made us feel tends to stay with us forever. I doubt you will EVER forget how he made you feel when he said what he said and when he spat in your face. Regardless of what he believed, ... (read in full...)
Is Rimming really as risky as they say?
Q. OK so this is a bit embarrassing, which is why I'm posting this anonymously but basically me and my boyfriend have been 'experimenting' in the bedroom lately and decided to try anal sex/play. I wasn't a fan of the sex as it hurt quite a bit but what ...
A. 27 April 2019: Re the reply from the anonymous male reader who states that you never hear of people getting sick because of going from anus straight to vagina, how many people would own up to this if it happened?
Stay safe. Don't listen to idiots. ... (read in full...)
Cock Teasing Wife
Q. Wife, with already killer body, lost 12 lbs on some diet shes doing and started wearing tighter clothes when she goes out. This was fine until she started wearing more revealing clothes and her trips out became longer and later at night. I tried to ...
A. 27 April 2019: To the anonymous female reader who posted just before this: you need a reality check. No, rape victims are not "asking for it" because of the clothes they wear and, in a perfect world, we should be able to walk around naked (if we choose) and still ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that a man could be so nervous that he can't stop shivering around women?
Q. I've been seeing this man for about 2 months, everything was going great but I'm not sure how can i make him more comfortable around me whenever we are on a date. I have more experience with men but he claims that I'm the first girl who went on a ...
A. 27 April 2019: Do you KNOW his "nervous" behaviour is down to, firstly, nerves and, secondly, being around you (as in, a woman)? Or are these assumptions on your part? While I can understand someone being very nervous on a first date, especially if it is their ... (read in full...)
What happens when male and female best friends share a bed for the night?
Q. I recently moved into my own apartment. It's a one bedroom and I don't have any furniture. My long time female friend plans to stay over this weekend so that she can 1. see the place and 2. not have to go all the way home after we watch a movie ...
A. 26 April 2019: The worst thing about this situation is that you don't appear to know what you want to happen. Are you hoping things will develop between you and you will become a couple, or are you wanting to stay friends?
Do you not have a couch that you can ... (read in full...)
I know I can't trust him again but I also want to tell him let's work on it and can figure it out. What is wrong with me?
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 2.5 months who is going through a separation. He has treated me better than anyone I've been with before and I was really starting to imagine a life with him. The gestures he made, how he made me feel, our ...
A. 26 April 2019: I think the answer to your last question lies in the first paragraph of your post: "He has treated me better than anyone I've been with before and I was really starting to imagine a life with him." Ending this relationship will mean the end of this ... (read in full...)
I feel my husband and his friends are exploiting me
Q. Hello and thank you My husband is black and I’m white. He says somethings that bother me sometimes. His dream is to be very weathly. Nothing wrong with that. He lives large likes the finer things however those things come at my cost. He likes ...
A. 25 April 2019: Sweetheart, people only treat us the way we ALLOW them to treat us. If we lie on the floor with "WELCOME" written all over us, people will wipe their feet on us. Do you understand what I am saying?
... (read in full...)
Should I let this guy go since he treats any kind of way?
Q. Hello, so I met this guy in september 2017. Someone told him about me from his church. He was looking for someone to help promote his business. After he sent his phone number by someone from the church and kept sending messages for me to call him ...
A. 24 April 2019: Do you need to ask? You sound like a lovely caring person. This man is a parasite. Not only does he expect you to keep him but he doesn't even show you any respect in return.
People will only treat us as we ALLOW! His treatment of you is not some... (read in full...)
The way my husband argues with me and handles conflict is very difficult for me to handle
Q. My husband and I have been together over two years. We have had a lot of good times and not so good times. I am expected to be submissive and I try hard but it’s not always easy. Sometimes he gets mad over small things. It wouldn’t bother me but ...
A. 24 April 2019: Why are you "expected to be submissive"? Are you of a culture where this is the norm or is it just that this is what your husband expects? Difficult to offer advice without knowing this fundamental fact.
All I would say is, you cannot change w... (read in full...)
Despite all the nonsense I still wanted him but the "Facebook relationship" woman he's never met in real life reaps all the benefits
Q. He is a typical Mr Unavailable. We were close once and we’d text all the time. I was coming out of a destructive relationship and soon our involvement became romantic. Despite his advances and “promises”, he was just unable to commit to a ...
A. 22 April 2019: Are you missing something? Wow! Seriously? Where to start?
1. They have not even met. How "committed" can their relationship be? As soon as they actually do meet, he will panic and back off, just as he has done with you in the past.
2. He i... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? I've always been conditioned to want certain things out of life but none of them fit my idea of my most honest self
Q. How can I accept who I am? for the last 30 years all I have been conditioned to want is 1. Get married 2. Buy a house 3. Make babies and compete with your neighbor to show who is happier - fancier - richer etc . My family is quite dysfunc...
A. 22 April 2019: Well, if there's something "wrong" with you, then I have the same "fault".
Knew from an early age I did not want children (you have no idea how many people think they have a right to question this decision, not only parents; my dad was the only... (read in full...)
How could I allow this guy to use me for sex?! I feel awful and I've lost all trust in men!
Q. I’ve recently came out of a long term relationship so I’m very new to dating.when I went out with friends I met a great guy, we chatted a lot and there was an instant spark between us, we exchanged numbers, we spoke a lot over the phone for about a ...
A. 21 April 2019: Sweetheart, you made a mistake. The only person who has never made a mistake in life is the person who has never done ANYTHING. Stop being so hard on yourself. It's not the end of the world.
You made TWO mistakes: the biggest one was trusting... (read in full...)
How do I avoid talking about my family when it comes to dating?
Q. How can I avoid my family or topics of my family now that I am back into the dating game ? My family is highly dysfunctional and untrustworthy; both my parents verbally abused me when I was younger and nothing was ever good enough. To this ...
A. 20 April 2019: I think, if the dating is casual, then it should be easy enough to just steer the conversation away from family. Don't even mention them if you don't have to. If asked, just give brief information like "I don't have much contact with my parents". At ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my former professor how I feel about him?
Q. its been about 6 six years now since I left college and I got along really well with my maths teacher and I started to develop strong passionate feelings towards him , I was aware it was not appropriate so I have never told anyone or him . just...
A. 19 April 2019: Strange that you realized, years ago when you were younger, that these feelings were "not appropriate" and kept them to yourself yet now, 6 years on, you suddenly feel differently about them. Is it just that he is no longer your teacher?
Regar... (read in full...)
One night stand why didn't he call back
Q. To make a long story short, I had sex with a guy from my office last week and he bailed right after. I noticed he had been staring at me over the last several weeks, but we were never introduced. At a late office party at a hotel last week (where I ...
A. 19 April 2019: Given your age (you are not a naive young teenager who can be excused her actions because of lack of experience), what outcome were you actually expecting?
You effectively picked up a guy in a bar, invited him back to your room and initiate... (read in full...)
Does my post break up regret suggest we should stay together?
Q. Hi guys, I feel at a dilemma here. I have been in a relationship with my current BF for 5 months now. I am 26, he is 26. I have asked questions about this relationship on here in the past, basically not wanting to deal with his issues. Most ad...
A. 19 April 2019: You are not READY to give up on this relationship. A group of strangers on a forum can advise till the cows come home, but you will still not give up on this relationship until YOU are ready. That is human nature.
The problem is, you keep env... (read in full...)
Does anyone have a short sharp way of dealing with work place bullies?
Q. Does anyone have a short sharp way of dealing with work place bullies? I have approached my employer and he says he does not see it. I am ridiculed about my age my appearance, my unmarried status and shockingly having children out of marriage and ...
A. 16 April 2019: Personally I would never give a reason for leaving past employment which might give a new employer cause for concern. By that I mean that, if you tell the potential new employer you want to leave your current employment because you feel bullied, ... (read in full...)
Can't understand why my lesbian g/f would be taking birth control for the sole purpose of not getting pregnant
Q. I'm struggling how and if to bring this up with my partner as I want to be sensitive and not offend her, I'm not sure if I'm getting red flags or being paranoid. My girlfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. She is having some birt...
A. 16 April 2019: I have to ask, how did you "discover" this information? It doesn't sound like she shared it with you, otherwise that would have been the perfect time to ask any questions. Have you been snooping in some way? Could it possibly be that you have got ... (read in full...)
Is my mother trying to create drama in my life for her amusement?
Q. I've come to realise my mother may perhaps be creating drama in my life to fuel her amusement, however, I could be wrong. I'm 22 years old and my mother is my go-to person for advice for everything. Many incidents have occurred where I feel she is ...
A. 15 April 2019: Odd that your own mother would push you into a situation with a guy with whom you do not feel comfortable. Most mothers would have advised the opposite. Did you actually explain to her why you were not comfortable with him?
As N91 says, there is... (read in full...)
Adult son's fiance is too old for him
Q. My wife and I have been aware of our son’s dating preferences since he left home for college. He prefers older women. We believed it was a phase and did our best not to get bent out of shape. We have met several of his older girlfriends over the ...
A. 15 April 2019: Why on God's earth would you turn your back on your son? Why? Because he is marrying a sweet lady who just happens to be older than you are comfortable with?
Some men prefer blondes, some brunettes, some redheads. Some men prefer slim women, s... (read in full...)
Could this teenage boy be having a CRUSH on me?
Q. Do teenage lads get crushes on middle aged female authority figures? This is a bizarre situation and you can rest assured nothing will be acted upon - but as a female tutor in her late 40s I work with young men of teenage years aged about 16 or...
A. 14 April 2019: I think, given your job, you need to be very careful with this one. Not sure you need to be "concerned" if YOU can keep control of this situation. Just because he is male and you are female does not make it any different to a young teenage girl ... (read in full...)
I suspect my ex set up my (now also an ex), boyfriend to cheat on me.
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. I go to his house every weekend for Friday and Saturday night, and he comes to my house usually to stay the night on Wednesdays. He's been a complete sweetheart to me and we had good plans for the ...
A. 14 April 2019: N91 has hit the nail right on the head. It is irrelevant whether your previous ex was involved or not; your latest ex CHOSE to cheat on you. There is NOTHING to talk about. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you were to get back together, you ... (read in full...)
I think I am being manipulated into being Plan B
Q. My ex who dated me for almost 5 years suddenly blocked me on whatsapp and 3 weeks later sent me a break up letter. I did not react but I cried and still cry. I went online 2 days ago and saw that his ex wife has new pictures in his new house wh...
A. 14 April 2019: I think you are handling this perfectly yourself.
You already know he is trying to keep you as his fallback plan in case the reunion with his wife doesn't work out (or when he wants an extra booty call without paying for "professionals" - once a... (read in full...)
I have neve wanted children, husband is being pressured to adopt his orphaned nephew
Q. My husband and I are both 29 and child free by choice. His sister and her husband, both 40, passed away in a car accident two months ago. They left behind a 9 year old who is currently living with my husband's parents. Long story short, his paren...
A. 13 April 2019: To be honest, I suspect your relationship is doomed now regardless of what your husband decides about this poor orphaned child. To take such a stance and give him such an ultimatum must have shown him a side of you he didn't know existed. I would be ... (read in full...)
Are these warning signs after a second date? Should I give it a go or run?
Q. Hi all, I am mentally quite stuck and would really appreciate some advice. A bit of background. I am 35 years old and have had 2 relationships in my life. One for 3 years from the age of 24 and one for 6 years from the age of 28. Both were fl...
A. 11 April 2019: Have you ever watched the film "Fatal Attraction"? If you have, you know the definition of a "bunny boiler". This woman comes across as exactly that.
Please don't tell her any personal details. Don't tell her where you live. Don't tell her wher... (read in full...)
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